couples · cyber space · destiny · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · energy · erotica · flirt · freedom · relations

Summer romance

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When you eat ice cream, you are focused on sweet taste. This enjoyment is under deadline, so it will melt if you don’t eat fast, and when meal is finished, you will not think about this anymore. The same thing is with summer romances.
Summer is special part of year, when everyone wish to be sexy, beautiful and in love. Vacations at sea are the most popular, and people will argue at work about free days. This is a chance to get tanned, to make better shape of your body and to catch some moments of passion. Later, you will remember days when you were party queen or when you break someone’s heart. Your Facebook profile and your cell phone will remind you how dangerous seductress you were , and this photos will be basic of your self esteem.
If you are woman with real expectations, you will remember summer romance as something relaxing and sweet, but you will close that memory box with first fallen leaves. Now is autumn, rain is falling, your swimsuit is on the bottom of your wardrobe and you got some kilograms. You closed this chapter.
Well, not everyone is the same, so summer romance will not die, if actors of this story want to make plans for future.
Before you wish to continue your hot love story, here are some things you must have on your mind:
Did he gave you phone number, or at least you can find him on internet pages?
 
He called you few days after you traveled home?
 
He wanted to find you, so he asked your friends about you?
 
He went to your city, by “accident”?
 
He invited you to visit him?
If you can answer with yes, your romance has potential to last more than one summer. If you don’t live in same city or even in the same country, things will be tough and only the most resistant couples will survive. Remember, this will take efforts from both sides.
Annabelle was incredible romantic girl. Movie “Notebook” made her cry and she watched this several times. When she fall in love during her summer vacation in Greece, her friends were not surprised. She crushed in handsome Greek guy Kostas. During that two weeks they were two pigeons. Friends were joking that they look as Siam twins. When vacation finished, Annabelle cried every day. Kostas sent her a lot of messages first days. As time was passing by, that messages became rarity. Annabelle called him, she wanted to communicate with him at Skype, but he had excuse that he hates social networks and that his job is very hectic because he works overtime.
One day Annabelle got message from her friend Wendy. Wendy revealed Facebook page, and guy at photos was very similar to Kostas. Annabelle confirmed, it was Kostas, but not alone, he was hugged by attractive girl. Under photo was title : “Kostas and Maria together forever. ” So she supposed that Kostas is in long relation, and that he was cheating his girlfriend with her. She felt as piece of trash. In the moment of rage, she sent him message with middle finger, but it did not help her to feel better. Kostas ignored her, as she never existed.

Ray of sun, sea waves, handsome guys at the beach, music at open air party. Sparks are everywhere, and you connect with him just like that.

He is as ice cream, sweet taste, but with deadline. You don’t have to regret because this happened. Summer romance is just one hot chapter in your life book. This connection was born in special circumstances, when you were maybe drunk, alone or hungry of passion.

Real love is flexible, it has adjustment in space and time. It will not last till the end of some party on the beach.
behavior · character · drama · ego · flirt · freedom · gossip · illusion · relations

How to insult woman without saying a word?

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Man X is standing in front of his woman Y, while she is crying . She covered her face with palms and ask for tissue. He asked her : “Why are you crying, i did not do anything to you. ” She said: “That is problem, you did not do anything!”

Is that scene familiar to you? When men complain about moody woman’s nature, they will often say : “I don’t understand women, seems i did something wrong but i don’t know what is this. “

Do you have a feeling that your woman is sad after some time? Do you have feeling that she is asking for a fight, even you did not insult her by your words?

It is possible to hurt your woman, by not saying any word to her.

Man’s logic is concrete, 2 plus 2 are 4.  Men don’t talk behind lines, men are not enigmatic. If man likes you, you will know it, because he will not insult you and represent this as compliment. Problem is, some men are without tact or they think their behavior is normal because they are dominant gender.

Well, woman’s logic is more abstract. We will smile to hide tears. We will cry to manipulate with men, and pretend kindness if we want to get something. That is not nice, but is not new that some women forgave man’s adultery and then made revenge to him. We are sensitive, we act by intuition, and even man is nice toward us, we will discover his mask by his actions.

So, we women will be insulted by some man’s acts, which are far away from tact.

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Here are 7 situations when you will insult woman, without saying a word:

Staring at other woman.

(You see how your guy is turning head when sexy blonde is passing by you on the street.)

Ignore your requests.

(You said him not to bite his nails in publicity, not to dig nose, not to yell in front of people. He repeated this again and again. )

He forgot your birthday, anniversary, or any important date.

He went to another woman at coffee bar, without saying a word of this to you.

He did not keep your back. Someone insulted you and he did not say a word.

He did not introduce you to his family and friends, even you were dating few months.

He did not give you compliment when you have new dress, hairstyle, new shoes. 

So let me back to the scene at beginning. Even if half of you thought that woman Y is crazy, now you will wonder what X did to her with her passive behavior?

Even man could be normal at first sight, even many women can say that he is gentle, kind and decent, after knowing him better you will not agree with them. Something miss him, something what he forgot to do. He insulted his beloved woman simply with his deeds.

 

couples · crises · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · freedom · happiness · relations

What happens when love is not mutual?

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The basic point of every fairy tale is magic stick . If you are beautiful fairy who holds this , you can turn frog into prince, poor guy into rich guy and bad guy into good guy. That dream sounds as realization of your hopes, and some women still make fantasies to change their boyfriends or husbands. “If he could change toward my wishes, i would have easier job.” In reality, it doesn’t works , because you can’t change guy without losing his personality. Maybe he listened you and did some changes accord your wishes, but he is not the same guy you met. Now you have business with kind of zombie, lobotomized man who is not the one you loved.
Every man is made of kind of buttons. If you press his positive buttons, you will be in harmony with him. If you press negative buttons all the time, your relation is more tragedy than romance. On this way we can explain why the same man is so good accord some women, and why other women can’t stand him. Understanding and accepting is key of love, so if you love wild guys, you will accept that he needs time to be alone with  himself, even to runaway for a short to find himself again. If you use leash to slow him down, you will lose him.
Two biggest nightmares of every woman are:
1. guy i love will not give me love back
2. guy i don’t like will follow me everywhere and i will not get rid of him
If you mix this two stories in the same time, it will be black comedy. On one side, you fall for guy who never noticed you, and on the other hand, guy you don’t wish to see is always on your back. If you think that you can change situation, to force guy to fall for you, or to chill out guy not to fall for you, that is wrong way. This is trap and the best way for you is to escape from confusing situation.
Relax, it is not all black.
You will see how Brenda learnt from this two situations.
 
Brenda wanted Kevin. In this situation, Kevin was indeed on half way. He wanted Brenda, but sometimes. Brenda wanted serious relation and commitment, and she was very persistent . She called him on phone, she sent thousand messages and e-mails, she did everything to sabotage his relations with other women. At the end, Kevin runaway from this situation. He felt as prisoner, without space to decide.
Cole wanted Brenda. Now Brenda felt on her skin what happens when stalker loves you. Cole was her colleague and she was working in the same office with him. She could not talk with others without his presence, he poke nose in her work, and every lunch pause he was on her back. For the first time, Brenda saw herself in the mirror. She understood better how Kevin felt. But it was too late.
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When love is not mutual, you are in relation with zombie.
No matter are you the one who doesn’t love, or your beloved doesn’t love you, this connection is forced bond.
Try to make love with someone without feelings, you will hate yourself next morning.
Try to say i love you without spark in your heart, you will dislike yourself .
Imagine yourself in tunnel. You are walking slowly, and on the other side is your love. If you love him, and if he loves you, this meeting will be hilarious. Your heart will beat, you will lose breath, your cheeks will blush. Even you will talk as stammerer. That is love, silly and logical in the same moment.
Well, if you don’t love your boyfriend, or if your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same, you will make this relation as summary of formalities.
Fake smile, kind words, hug without heart beats. Sad situation, but some couples are that kind of zombies. They are together for wrong reasons, because they think to change situation at better point.
Artificial flowers can’t smell and grow. The same is with relation without sparks. If chemistry doesn’t exist, it will not appear from somewhere. In this case, your relation is only piece of paper.
discrimination · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · fantasy · flirt · freedom · relations

Are you in relation with brat?

 

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Responsibility is follower of maturity. If you are responsible, you know everything about obligations and how to deal with this. Your immaturity will hurt people even without your intentions, because they expected something from you.
Love doesn’t know for numbers and years, but heart feels immature actions. This clumsy guy left mark in your heart, because he doesn’t know how to deal with responsibility, he was immature. Problem is, women are often more mature then men. That is why older woman will have problems in relation with younger men, they are on different levels. So when women complaint that their heart is bleeding, often man is not bad, he is immature. There is a quote, if you lay in bed with kiddo, he will pee in your sheets.
So that is why we can say that immature actions are childish, without responsibility, even without thinking about consequences.
Which are signs that you are in relation with brat?
He did not came on date, even you had deal.
 
He got late on date, more than 15 minutes.
 
He talk about his previous sexual experiences, you know every dirty detail about him and his ex.
 
He is with you, but every time he is watching other women, and even comment without shame how sexy they are.
 
He talks about sex with you in front of his friends.
 
His friends don’t like you, so he wants to hide you to avoid fights with them.
 
He doesn’t want to introduce you with your parents.
 
He said he is not ready for serious relation.
 
He said that you are fat or old, without thinking that will hurt you.
 
He said that skirt doesn’t fit you or that you are dressed like whore.
 
He is yelling on you in publicity, he said to you to shut up in front of people or he doesn’t allow you to express your opinion about some topics.
 
He expects that you will pay his drinks, he forgot your birthday and never bought you gifts.
 
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Some things will come later. Boy will learn about behavior through many relations with other girls. First girlfriend will be as experimental rabbit, and possible errors will affect on her. Melisa and Raul were dating in high school. They were hitchhiking together because he was not driver, and he had no car. Nothing was hard for Melissa, he loved him, even he was 2 years older. Later, when they broke up, Raul was 21 and Melisa 23. He started to drive car and his new girlfriend Elsa was with him in the moment when Melisa was on bus station, waited for a bus. They saw her and they passed by the road with laugh. Elsa was so nasty that she shown her middle finger to Melissa. Melissa was hurt but indeed it was childish act.

When you are in relation with immature person, you are passing period of adjustment. 

It’s up to you will you wait him until he grows up or you will leave. He simply doesn’t know that something can hurt you, no matter is this lack of attention, inability to listen your problems or something bigger. Woman must be patient in such relation and also very flexible. After breakup, women will say that they don’t want to be nannies anymore or that they were wearing trousers in this relation. Older woman and younger man are in relation mother-son, if age difference is too big. She is working already, and he is still student . She wants kids, and he wish to go to parties with friends. That are huge differences. This is situation when you are dancing, and he stands on your feet, because he is clumsy.

If such couple is enough strong and patient, and if they really love each other, they must work on relation, they will have mutual progress together. This relation will develop with years or they will split. In any way, relation without responsibility is as artificial flower. It looks like flower, but smell is not here.
crises · depression · destiny · drama · dreams · fantasy · freedom · phobia · relations

How Murphy’s law surprises us?

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When something is bad, don’t worry. It might be worse. Everybody has one of that days, when everything is going wrong.

 

You get up and spill hot coffee on your white dress and then you must clean mess and get late at work. There you will meet grumpy boss and hysterical clients. When you finally can go to lunch pause, food in business restaurant will be disgusting and someone will sit near you to talk about work during you chew this bitter meal.

You will think that someone hit you with spell or made woodoo doll, but this is just bunch of negative circumstances. This is an opposite of what you wish because you sent wrong energy to universe, and universe reply you back with bad events.

Can we block our good luck? Yes, we can do it unintentionally.

Sheila wanted that guy Tony so much, and he was not cold toward her, but she had one unwanted admirer at her workplace. Brian was her roommate and it was hard to work with him, he gave her compliments about her looks, he was staring at her so she was blushing every time when he entered into office. Soon, she became very nervous.
She had date with Tony but she came at cafe bar under stress. Tony noticed that Sheila is grumpy.

– What is today with you sweetie?

– It is Brian again, i can’t work like this, he is jerk, moron and everything the worst. He commented my perfume , that it smells so seductive.

– Don’t pay attention dear, he will stop.

Sheila was too angry, and the main subject of that date was Brian. She could not focus on Tony even she wanted to be with him so much, so Tony left from this date because it was annoying for him. Sheila blamed bad luck, but she did not open gate to happiness. She was focused on problems all the time and it was no place for smile and good news.

When you practice Murphy’s law, you will open way to bad things in your life. It is hard to ignore problems, but if you think about something good, bad things will be more at background. Don’t make things worse, if it can’t be good at the moment.

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Murphy’s law is label for unhappy people, pessimists and losers.

Try to get rid of this bad mark with smile. No, you are not under spell, that is just bad day which will pass soon. You are not the only one, and probably everyone you met had the same experience. You attract what you feel, and if you feel angry, probably you will spill juice or jerk will send you to hell without reason.

Don’t let your belief to defines you. Despair and fear are not winner’s points when you try to make success. I

f you can’t on other way, pretend that everything is all right. Fake it until you make it.

business · career · communication · crises · egoism · freedom · mobbing · money · moral · relations

Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

bohemians · character · crises · depression · destiny · freedom · happiness · relations

Are you afraid of challenges?

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Remember game with the bottle in childhood? You are sitting in circle with friends, someone spin the bottle and when this stop spinning, person who is nearest to the bottle will answer on questions. This was unpleasant situation because question were challenges. Some games went so far that picked person should kiss someone.

This was childhood trauma. Girls were playing with Barbara, she was introvert and good material for cruel jokes. They said to her, kiss the tree, otherwise we will avoid you. But Barbara was tough and she rejected to made fool of yourself. Kissing tree was worse than kiss the ugliest guy. Everybody waited but she did not move. That act made her stubborn and later she did good career, because she despise authorities.

Monica was victim of “truth or dare.” She got questions about her sex life, and in circle were some unknown guys. She talked without shame how she changed few guys in her bed, and after this game guys were looking at her with different eyes. One of them wanted to flirt with her, because she was so open minded. She was indeed naive, because her story spread around. The rule of the game was “nothing can’t go out of this circle”, but nobody respected this. She had troubles with rumors about her. Every guy who asked her for a date wanted sex.

The third girl in circle was Andrea. She was silent and old fashioned. She replied on every question in a way ” i don’t have idea, because i never went through this.” Indeed, she was boring. She lived in safe box and she stayed like these until 35. Life saved  her many troubles, but she was prisoner in golden cage. She still lives with her mother and she thinks that God has solution for her. Prince charming will ring on her doorbell and she will be awarded for her purity. Recently guy fooled her on internet. He had fake photos and when they met at coffee he was different person. He said these were photos from his youth, and she was so disappointed.

Truth or dare is life question. Shall we accept challenges or not?
If we want to taste beauty of life, we will sign invisible contract. We accept to bleed inside, to suffer, to cry. Also we will have joyful days, full of life and happiness. Never regret because sometimes you feel that you are frozen, that you can’t get out from your house because life was unfair with you. You will be wiser and stronger after you solve your problems. Also, you will be grateful, because you broke this obstacles. This is pleasure, when you get something what was so difficult to reach.

Barbara was stubborn, Monica was naive, and Andrea was coward. They faced with problems on different ways. Life gave them what they earned in this truth or dare game.

anxiety · character · fantasy · freedom · rebellion · responsibility · society

Who are social martyrs?

Life meals are sometimes bitter. It is not that everything is sweet as milk and honey. If you raised in happy family maybe life spared you from miserable moments, but the grudge will wait you later. Humans are on this world to taste fish oil because this is indicator of their firmness. Pain and sadness are not welcome guests, but some people will represent themselves as born to be unhappy. In some sick way, they enjoy to be martyrs, because this is the way to keep attention.

Do you know someone who is big martyr? Colleague from work, mother in law, your dear friend or even wife?

Typical day of every martyr starts like this:

I must wash laundry because nobody will help me. I must cook lunch because my family will be hungry and they will yell on me. I must stay overtime at work because i will get fired if i don’t do this. I can’t watch my soap opera because my husband is watching football. I must make dinner for my guests because i owe them, last time me and husband were invited in their house. What they will think of me if i don’t invite them for return?”

 

In the eyes of martyr everything is black. Life is one big pain and martyr is stigmatized person who must do all bad jobs, because others expect this from him. Everyone must give confession to martyr, that he is the person who were walking on thorns with his first steps.

What kind of problems martyr never solves?

Martyr is person in bad relation. He knows this, but he stays there anyway.

Martyr is woman who never get marry because she is afraid to get out from status quo situation.

Martyr is person who stays at bad work until retirement because everyone feels sorry for him and this is his kind of feed for soul.

Martyr is son who lives with his mother because he is not able to find a job and pay own flat.

Martyr is mother who cook meals and wash laundry for her adult kids because they could not do it alone.

Jade is woman with health problems. She takes pills , painkillers , because her pains in back are unbearable. She doesn’t want to go to private doctor because she needs money for other things. She doesn’t talk with her sister and brother for a 10 years, because they took her big part of family inheritance. She never forgive them how they acted at court when her father died. She is not without friends and people wish to help her, but she rejects every favor, because she doesn’t want to be treated as poor woman. But, when someone ask her about her life, she used to say : ” Everyone abandoned me. I don’t have any help from people. They avoid me because i am old and poor. ”

Martyr is kind of manipulator.

How does it happens?

Martyr use 4 kind of deadly weapons:

Guilt.  

Conscience.

Condolence.

Empathy. 

If you don’t help martyr, you will feel guilty. If you feel guilty, your conscience will warn you and you will not sleep well. Then you start to feel condolence and your sense for empathy is awake.

That is how Helen did. She was old nasty widow. She had many people who were indeed her servants. One man brought her things from shopping mall every day. Other servant was woman who cooked her meals, for small money. The next was woman who was drinking whiskey with her and listened her problems, to make her company. Helen was nasty, but nobody complained, because she was old and helpless widow. That was her ticket for paradise, to be blessed as martyr. Once someone rejected to help her, and Helen said: “How can you be so cruel to old and weak lady as me? ”

When someone acts as martyr, that is lack of self-respect . Also that shows laziness and conformism. Person will lean on others even she marked others as culprits. If you live with helpless mother in law or you work with colleague who never finish his work and you must to it for him , you share life with martyr. In this case you are servant, and they are masters. Read between lines when your colleague ask you to help him with unfinished task. ” Help me, you know how to do this”, indeed means ” I don’t want to do it alone because you will do it instead of me. “

behavior · character · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · energy · freedom · relations

Do you cry over spilled milk?

 

There is no bigger punishment than lack of time.Time is ticking like sand clock, so you will never be young again and once when you lost teeth you will not develop new. You can go to dentist to make it, but it will never be the same and natural. The same is with opportunities, if we don’t recognize them, if we don’t care for them, later all is left is crying over spilled milk.

Remember your best chances until now. Is that the moment when your boyfriend asked to marry you, and you were not ready? Is that great business offer which you rejected, because it was not time? Maybe, this is offer to travel in another country, but you could not accept it because other things were more important for you.

Why we miss some great chances?

Fear from changes.

That is unknown area. We are not satisfied now, but who knows what is in future, is that opportunity really good for us.

Habits.

You are used on your old city, old friends and old job. How to cut all this bonds and move in another city?

Fear from negative results.

It could be worse. What if i lose safe ground under my feet?

Now think about regrets. You are now sure that you did not do right, you should accept this but now is too late. Why you did not want to see before?

People cry over spilled milk because sometimes chances are in front of us when we are not ready for this. We are immature to make some changes. Maybe we are happy with present situation. Maybe we think that it will last forever, and we don’t need to do nothing to make progress.

Nigel and Linda were in relation eight years. Linda wanted to get marry, but Nigel delayed this moment. It was never right time. Nigel thought that he is too young, even he had 30. Then Linda find new flat and did not invite him to live with her. She found another guy for a six months and they get married. Nigel is still single and every time he see his ex girlfriend he is sad. He had enough time to decide, but he was like boy in playground. When game was over, he was on the bench, as football player out of  football match.

If we could turn back time, if we could load our life as movie, maybe we would act different. Life is sometimes as book we don’t understand the meaning, until we read once again. Just, we have no plenty of time to understand message of life. We got our envelope with notes but choice is ours. Maybe, sometimes we will have another chance to correct what we missed, as the flight in last minutes. This is red line, and after this door are closed.

If you want to shake someone to bring important decision, make your own earthquake. Let his ground shake as in the worst storm. That is an experiment, how much person care. If there is no results, you can leave from this situation with peaceful conscience that you tried everything. He spilled milk and you will erase this stain.

couples · crises · drama · dreams · erotica · flirt · freedom · lovers · narcism · relations

Don’t be his option after he left you

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Two people will split after problematic relation, sooner or later. Breakup suppose to be an end, but is that really true?

You will see how much someone cared about you accord his behavior after breakup.

Three situations are possible :

If he is silent, if he doesn’t talk about you around, if he just greet you in the street, that was respectable relation. You could not agree with him, but you will not jump on each other like two wild beasts.

Breakups are not always civilized so you could be victim of harassment. He is calling you, stalking you, brag bad things about you, your private moments are now at internet, your friends know all details about your relation. Shortly, you have bad luck.

Third situation is the worst, because that is caught in the middle. He doesn’t want reunion with you, but he wants you as hidden lover.

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What this really means?

He will call you when he wish. Meanwhile, be silent.

He will not date with you in public. You are his secret.

He might has new girlfriend, but you should close eyes and wait him in hope to changes his mind. 

Now this is really big fall, from his priority until his option, but you love him and you think you will be together with him again if you show patience?

I would recommend you to show him teeth. It means, cut every connection which such guy who wish to drag you into gutter. You were couple, and now you will be his hoe?

If you ask me which crazy woman would accept this options, i know many.

Love is blind when you fall for someone and suddenly you lose him. He was yours, completely, but he chilled out, circumstances were bad, you were different, and he slipped from your hands.

I would say, let him go. If you must persuade him what he lost, i am afraid you will sink in your intentions to show your value.

Breakup is as dark, blind alley. There is no way out, this is final destination. Turn on and don’t come back. Person who cut connection must follow you and prove that here is still something left .

When guy has bad intention, he will treat his ex girlfriend as tool and toy, until something new comes out. Such guys are selfish. They ask fun in the middle, before new relation.

Respectable, honest man will spare you of this. He is not into you anymore, but he doesn’t want to humiliate you either. So he will say hello and how are you and that will be all. Thank you for playing, game over.