beauty · business · career · drama · egoism · fashion · illusion · internet · relations

Judge me by my outfit

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How many jokes we heard about blondes? What is on our mind when we see Chuck Norris? That is beginning of every stereotype.

Blonde woman is so dumb that if policeman stop her car and ask her identify card, she will look in the mirror and say “Oh, we look like twins.” Indeed jokes are funny, but also offensive. If we can consider every blonde woman as stupid, soon stupidity will be recognized by the color of hair. Look at Sharon Stone, her intelligence is over 140 and she is almost genius. Ivana Trump is successful business woman and Hilary Clinton is politician.

These are only examples how people judge us by the look. Why such approach? It is superficial and not complete, but this is easier. If you have business interview and you put too much make up or you are dressed as you go to football match, you can miss a chance to get job. Unfortunately, your employers can judge you by the look.

 

If you have big breasts and style of Pamela Anderson, you will not be welcomed in business circles. Simply, people will not get you serious. Glasses will made you more intellectual, straight hair more serious and if you add black suit and tie , you are perfect for business meeting. Try to copy style of Linda Fiorentino in “The last seducing”, and you will have an authority.

In many situation people don’t want to dig under surface. Impression which you leave with your clothes will be unforgettable. This is unfair, but stereotypes are in every corner of life. You don’t need to obey, but it will be easier to understand why you are not accepted in certain circles.

Many women want to look younger . Also, this will bring you some negative points. If you are in 40, and you look like 25, really young guys can approach to you and annoy for flirt. You are boss of department and your male partners can treat you as kiddo. Try this look of Ellen Page in business meeting. People will put you in kindergarten.

As glasses don’t make intellectual person and blonde hair don’t make stupid woman, mustaches will not make man from you. But, some details can deceive people. What lawyers recommend to criminals when they come out in front of jury? Wear serious and decent clothes. Let your hair be smooth and tidy. Don’t put too much makeup, wear black or grey. Lindsay Lohan had this nerd look when she was in court.

Imagine victims of raping. Their lawyers will not recommend them high heels or short skirt in the court. Accord prejudices, they will be reserved and their clothes will be conservative.

You want to impress guy on first date?

For sure, your breasts will not jump out from the shirt, unless you  want sex for one night.

Or, your panties will not be visible when you cross legs.

Or you go without panties and wish to be taken seriously?

Some stereotypes can be useful, even you don’t feel as person you represent, it will help you to be step forward.

As in Canadian makeover show Style by jury, people will see side you represent. If you wear casual, untidy clothes, you will be rejected in some important events . If you are elegant person with good manners, door will be opened to you.

Stereotypes are chains, but you can use it to unlock secret gate. It will be fun to see some faces when you show that you are not so stupid as you look like.

anxiety · character · crises · happiness · illusion · lesson · lies · relations

Reality check and illusions

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People use to say: “You live in illusion. ” “You need reality check. “

What is indeed illusion?

Absence of real beliefs.

Flying on cloud instead of walking on the ground.

Too big expectations.

Impossible aims.

Reality check is cold shower, something what people need when they fly too high. There must be a difference between vision and dream. Vision is based on real expectation, but dream is based on imagination.

I wish to get marry for Brad Pitt. This is dellusional example.

I wish to buy new dress, which is too expensive for me but not impossible to buy.

Sometimes, people with manipulation skills will hold dellusional people in traps , because on this way they can feed their ego.

Woman X lives in USA. She promised man from Turkey that she will come to visit him. She delayed her arrival first for 6 months, then for a year. Then she said she will come in summer and later in winter. He is still waiting for her but she hesitates and wants to get on time. He is afraid to travel to see her so both are in ungrateful position. Their illusion is more beautiful than reality so they stick on safe ground of their dream because reality is insecure.

Did you stuck in kind of illusion?

How you deal with this?

These are consequences of life in illusion :

Awakening in tears.

Cuts of some connections which were based on dreams.

Loss of trust and confidence.

Loss of hope.

Black white insight on life.

Why people hold on their imaginary hopes, even deep inside they know it will not work out?

Well, i remember movie “The escape from Alcatraz. ” Man was painter, and he knew he will not get out from prison but he will make his life easier by drawing. When headmaster of jail took him his tools and material, he made suicide.

If you want to kill person inside, kill his dream. Kill hope that something is worth living or that some day will be better.

Reality check is not for all people, some are born to live in dreams because they don’t know how to walk on the ground. Mama’s boy will rather live with his mother than to ask woman to marry. Unemployed guy will rather sleep at home than ask for a job. Woman who is unhappy in love will rather hold on her problematic marriage or relation.

Illusions feed us, the same way as they made us damage. Who wish to get out from that poisoned circle must be aware that this is not healthy life.

I was in illusion that one friendship will last forever. Guy said me : “Life can separate you and your friend. ” He was in right, once when she gone in another city she never asked for me.

After you break illusion, there is something brighter. Empty space for someone special, for something special, but this time you wear safe glasses and you know where you will go .

business · career · character · crises · depression · illusion · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · relations

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

anxiety · behavior · character · friendship · gossip · illusion · moral · relations

Your friend is an imitator ?

 

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Social intelligence is ability to sympathize with others, to feel their needs and to help them if you can. Selfish person is deaf on other wishes, so when you hear someone to say “What i have to do with this, this is not my concern”, you know what to expect.

This kind of ability gives you eyes wide open, and your view into world is more ample. In this case, you will be able to communicate with people from different countries and with different attitudes. It doesn’t matter is your friend gay, atheist or nigger, you love them all on equal way.

No, it doesn’t mean that you must agree with others in everything, just this time boundaries are different. So, if you feel disrespect from other side, your right is to push this person away.

Recently i saw this kind of sentence in one group at internet. Guy said: “Please add me, i need friends, i have no friends. ” This voice of despair sounds creepy, because person marked himself as loser. So the same guy started to like everyone’s post, to confirm with everything with others say, just to get their attention. Result was bad, people found him as irritating and annoying.

For sure you can remember situation from childhood, when two girls wear the same clothes, when they kiss each other in cheek and hold their hands on the street. It looks cute on first sight, but somehow artificial.

What happens when girls grow up?

One girl found boyfriend, other is still single. 

One girl move in another city.

One girl spread her circle of friends, so she is not free as before, sometimes she wish to go in cinema with other girls.

One girl became more popular.

What other girl feels?

She is abandoned.

She is angry.

She is jealous.

Other girl says : “That is not fair. We wear the same clothes, we listen the same music, we grew up together. Now she makes distance with me. But i gave her all, i always stand behind her, even when she was not so sweet and kind. ”

That is situation with copy and paste friendship. In this case, other girl lost personality. She wears the same red skirt and white blouse, but also she talks, laughs and acts on the same way as her best friend. That is point of this story, she was clone and twin, but not equal part of this friendship.

Copy paste friendships are field of risk.

If you have friend who copy your style, as in movie with Bridget Fonda, this situation is dangerous. It will turn on two ways : your friend is addicted to you because you create her or your friend hates you because she gets less attention than you.

Best friends are indeed people who are not always sweet together. They fight and argue, they have different taste and priorities, but their friendship is as chess board. Black and white, different personalities, but awesome in one mosaic. This relation is mature, because you don’t need to wear the same skirt to prove your loyalty and devotion.

cyber · discrimination · drama · erotica · illusion · jealousy · moral · passion · relations

What happens when your partner has double standards?

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Things which you allow to yourself are also allowed to others. For example, if you drink beer, you will not judge your friend because he is drinking beer. If you wear short skirt, you will not gossip your friend because her skirt reveals her underwear. We are humans, and sometimes we move our limits into unknown directions.

Double standards are the worst failures in one relation. Although you are jealous person,  it will not stop you to flirt around. Handsome colleague from work, your charming boss, your sexy neighbor, even this new salesman, they are all opportunity for flirting. Now, you have husband, and your business is to play role of private agent, by digging into his pockets. Does he cheats you? Maybe his schoolmate is also partner in his bed. He can’t do this to you. Now, when he asks you, why you are blinking to all handsome men , you will say “But that is my right.”

Things are always different from  selfish perspective. It doesn’t look such bad when you are doing something what is not appropriate. If you are boss at work and if you skip deadline because it was not your day, this is something which must be forgiven and forgotten. Well, what if your worker do the same thing? You would yell as lunatic, they would be fired without recommendations.

Where are roots of double standards?

Person is spoiled in childhood. Some parents will let all to their children, they will not have limits, as they had many toys and they took rights to play with other dolls and teddy bears, they will play with other feelings, but their space will be locked and protected.

Person is selfish. When you are selfish, you can’t feel mercy or guilt or responsibility for others. You don’t give a shit for other problems, because it is not about you.

Person is old fashioned. This happens in men world. Some men think that meaning of real man is real boss. So, he can cheat, flirt and break hearts, but his beloved wife will wait him at home, with warm dinner.

Person is coldblooded. If you are not sensitive, you will not hear what others want to say to you. You cannot feel that you harm someone, that someone is crying because of what you did. This is not a part of your program.

Double standards make confusion in every love relation. This is discrimination of rights, because one person will take everything and other half will be prisoner, in invisible cage.

When Chad and Kurt talked about some girls, they made good example of double standards.

Chad said: “Mona is a slut. She was kissing me at first date, second date i fucked her and what to do later?”

Kurt asked him: “But why did not you tell her that you don’t want this?”

Chad replied: “What, i am not crazy. I like to use sluts for hot sex. I will not marry her. If she can’t get it, she is also stupid.”

If you are victim of double standards, check your priorities. Maybe you stuck with someone who holds the key of your freedom. Now you can’t talk with friend, tomorrow you will not have permission to get out from your house, and next day your windows will be locked, for any case.

behavior · character · drama · ego · flirt · freedom · gossip · illusion · relations

How to insult woman without saying a word?

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Man X is standing in front of his woman Y, while she is crying . She covered her face with palms and ask for tissue. He asked her : “Why are you crying, i did not do anything to you. ” She said: “That is problem, you did not do anything!”

Is that scene familiar to you? When men complain about moody woman’s nature, they will often say : “I don’t understand women, seems i did something wrong but i don’t know what is this. “

Do you have a feeling that your woman is sad after some time? Do you have feeling that she is asking for a fight, even you did not insult her by your words?

It is possible to hurt your woman, by not saying any word to her.

Man’s logic is concrete, 2 plus 2 are 4.  Men don’t talk behind lines, men are not enigmatic. If man likes you, you will know it, because he will not insult you and represent this as compliment. Problem is, some men are without tact or they think their behavior is normal because they are dominant gender.

Well, woman’s logic is more abstract. We will smile to hide tears. We will cry to manipulate with men, and pretend kindness if we want to get something. That is not nice, but is not new that some women forgave man’s adultery and then made revenge to him. We are sensitive, we act by intuition, and even man is nice toward us, we will discover his mask by his actions.

So, we women will be insulted by some man’s acts, which are far away from tact.

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Here are 7 situations when you will insult woman, without saying a word:

Staring at other woman.

(You see how your guy is turning head when sexy blonde is passing by you on the street.)

Ignore your requests.

(You said him not to bite his nails in publicity, not to dig nose, not to yell in front of people. He repeated this again and again. )

He forgot your birthday, anniversary, or any important date.

He went to another woman at coffee bar, without saying a word of this to you.

He did not keep your back. Someone insulted you and he did not say a word.

He did not introduce you to his family and friends, even you were dating few months.

He did not give you compliment when you have new dress, hairstyle, new shoes. 

So let me back to the scene at beginning. Even if half of you thought that woman Y is crazy, now you will wonder what X did to her with her passive behavior?

Even man could be normal at first sight, even many women can say that he is gentle, kind and decent, after knowing him better you will not agree with them. Something miss him, something what he forgot to do. He insulted his beloved woman simply with his deeds.

 

communication · cyber space · drama · dreams · ego · envy · erotica · illusion · internet · jealousy · relations

Why women should not propose their partners?

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Not everyone is thrilled by idea of marriage. Men especially want to prolong this time, until they can. One woman since death till us apart, that sounds terrified for many men. Especially when proposal did not come from him, man will think that he lives in nightmare.
Long relations are danger zone. After 5, 10 or even 15 years, woman will ask where is she standing. Or, where this relation goes? In kind of despair, woman will get an idea to propose his man, because he did not do this. I would say, don’t do this , ladies.
Here are 5 reasons why you should not propose your man.
He will feel as half a man.
You do his tasks? You took things in your hands? Well, be sure he will not be fascinated if you buy ring and ask him : “Yes or no?”
You will lost part of your dignity.
Every woman should know when to step back. This is in that case. Instead of force your man, back off.
He might say yes, but later this will be main reason for your conflict.
“This was your idea, not mine, remember?”
His friends, mother and his ex girlfriend could laugh to you.
This kind of things always swims out. Who proposed whom? If that was you, it will be subject of jokes.
You will lose this magic moment to make him in uncertainty.
So you will not see him what he really could do if he is afraid of losing you.
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Women have vision about guy with ring who will crawl to propose them. It will not be always like this. Cool proposal, without much noise, is good way for every man who doesn’t want to sound as cuckold. Ask her is she ready to spend life with you, kiss her and wait for reply.
I understand women who were many years alone or in frustrated relations, until their friends got married. Always maid of honor, never bride. Well, you can make influence on this, but you need to know the way.
If you decided to make him rush with proposal, do it on next way.
 
 
Make it as joke.
Tell him, you look gorgeous in white dress and his mother adores you anyway. If he is silent, don’t force this conversation. He will understand the point.
Don’t go directly. Make it as indirect way to proposal.
Tell him that you got many compliments from colleague, but that you said him about your serious relation, which leads to commitment.
Make a sentence : “once when i will be married for a guy”, and wait his reaction.
Men are not blind. They understand hints and symbolic way. They pretend that they are dumb, but be sure your man knows what he should do. If he doesn’t do this, he has a reason, because he is not sure.
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What is the worst thing you can do?
This is proposal on internet. You can make yourself ashamed, because this is something what others see. It will not be erased so easy. Especially, if your man is someone you did not meet for real.
Leslie did this with Douglas. They met online, on chat. They had virtual relation for a few months, and she felt this is it. Leslie was single so many years, she had some failed relations before, and she was lady in certain ages, over 30. So, what can happen worse? She proposed him on his page. She thought, it will be cool and she will make an impression as independent woman. Ooops. Douglas said short yes, but after this, he did not talked with her. He became silent as someone who got punishment. He was little boy in the corner, terrified from his older teacher. Of course, he was younger than Leslie.
Remember, what is so cool for us women, is not the same for men. You might think you look as Cat woman, Lara Croft  or some other  action heroine who took things in her hands. In his eyes, you look as kidnapper. Someone who stole his power to decide. You deserve to go away from him.
character · crises · drama · ego · friendship · gossip · illusion · psychology · relations

Why some men fall under influence of their friends?

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Mature person has strong attitude and ability to make own decision. Adult man will pick woman accord his taste and wishes, and he will not be influenced by friends or family. Unfortunately, some men stay childish and immature during whole life, and their decisions are products of other influences.
We can recognize them since childhood. Small kid is afraid of stronger boys, so he will act smarmy toward street leaders. He needs protection from big guy who will be his brother. In his company he feels pleasant and safe. Don’t bite hands which is feeding you is his favorite quote, so he will do everything for return. This association is product of weakness, Small guy could not be popular between girls without help of this Big guy.
That happened with Nathan. He was average boy with average face, slim and short, so guys teasing him from childhood. He was not midget, but in company of guys who were copies of Van Damme, he felt like unprotected girl. So when his neighbor Harlan start to date with Lena, the most sexy girl in his neighborhood, Nathan could not fight for her. She was his secret love, but he never confessed his feelings to her, instead this he made friendship with Harlan. He was leader and Nathan was slave, guy who will buy cigarettes and lend money, depends of occasion. When Nathan met Laura, things changed, because Laura was stubborn girl and she made decision by herself. She rejected few tough guys from the street, she wanted to be with Nathan. But, as couple, they disagreed about lot of things. Nathan was weak, toy boy, and Laura did not like it. He called her devil lady, because she was hasty and fearless and often in conflicts with others. After few months Nathan broke this relation, she made mess in his peaceful life and he decide to leave her.
When Nathan saw Laura in conversation with Harlan, after one year of their breakup, he start to feel jealousy. Everybody in this company liked Laura, she had sharp tongue and they considered her as very exciting girl. They did not met her before because Nathan was always hiding her, from fear that she will make drama. Now, he saw that he was wrong and coward. Later Harlan told him that he is idiot to let go such interesting girl. Nathan wanted to talk with her in private. He asked for another chance.
Laura said to him:
So meanwhile you got guts? Or your big friend said to you how to respect me? This is very sad my dear. 
 
– Please i don’t like fights. I like normal women, normal talk.
 
– Really? Then go to find normal woman, what are you waiting for?

Nathan realized that he lost his chance forever. Laura wanted just understanding but he was too big coward and too addicted of other opinions. His small life was garden with flowers and it was no place for tiger there. He did not know that Laura also need love , but she could not change her hot temper because of him. She loved him and he hurt her by his ignorance, but he could not realize that, because he was too busy with his fears. What will other’s say and how he will risk with that girl, one day someone could smack him because of her.

Old Latin proverb said: similar similis gaudet.

Similar people with similar attitudes and interests will find each other on every level. When two persons are very different it is hard to find common language. Passion in the beginning, but conflicts at the end will make this relation impossible to survive. Someone will give up and this is end. The biggest obstacle is disability of own thinking. If you need that others confirm your choice , you are pathetic. At the end you will share life with that person, not your friends, relatives or family.

Weak person will always need own guardian angel. That kind of person is insecure in own existence and he needs protection of someone with bigger power. Sometimes, that angel will lead him in unknown direction, and he will fall into identity crises.
beauty · behavior · character · cyber space · erotica · flirt · gossip · illusion · relations

Seduce me with honor

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The biggest challenge is something what you can’t have at first, but there is a chance to get it. In this case you enjoy in the game, you are breaking chains and obstacles in a way to your victory. Or, maybe it won’t happen, maybe result will be unexpected?
Remember actress from Hitchcock movies. Grace Kelly, Kim Novak, Tippy Heddren, they all had something in common : blonde hair, white skin and poker face. They were unavailable for men, but just for some time, until they decide what they wish for.
Ice princess is not forgotten. In the age when everything about sex is available, woman who take care for herself is very intricate.  That cold blooded seductress is not a bitch, she is the one who makes rules.
Recently i saw girl in night club, while she was dancing at party, totally alone. She was gorgeous, and one by one, guys approached her. She would talk, take a drink from them, dancing and smile, but when anyone of them wanted to kiss her, she would set up her boundaries and walk away. She knew what she wants, and it was certainly not to be their toy.

What makes sex interesting are questions. This sparks will turn on when you don’t know what you will get and how you will get it.

Girls, if you really want to seduce guy to be only yours, if you really want to make difference from other’s , try this:
Talk with him as his best friend. Be nice, but not too close.
 
Leave your sentences unfinished. “I am busy in the moment, but…”
 
Tell him that you are ambitious and you work on something .
 He will know that you are not focused just on him, and that will give him space.
 
Once when you get him, don’t stalk him and don’t show jealousy.
Be decent, give him a wink that relation continues, but you are ready to open door if he will not value you.
I read article where woman supported one night stand, as act of pleasure and freedom. Yes, you are free to have sex with anyone you want, but he is also free to kick you out. One day you will try to find someone who will stay with you, and believe me, guy who make love with you first night of meeting, will not stay with you. He will think that you are available for everyone else on that way.
I see how some open minded women act on internet. I have learnt, dignity is not connected with ages.
Woman, about 50 years send her nude photo to guy who could be her son. It happened in public, and everyone saw this. You will say this is not my business, but when the same woman start to stalk other women because they are on list of their beloved guys, it is my business. She bother me because i am his friend and she is jealous cause she gave him “special thing on camera. ” That is how woman’s dignity has sold, on lower price.
Seductress is woman who is able to control herself, at first.
You can get attention of many men if you are your master.  Talk, walk and smile, but don’t take off your panties everywhere. If you act cheap, your customers will be the worse men. Also, real seductress has honor. She doesn’t chase anyone. If guy has left her, she will not ask for him more.
Can you imagine such love story?
She had sex with everyone, but i got married with her. She impressed me with her skills in bed. “
Sounds vulgar, isn’t it?
How about this?
“She rejected many men and i was chasing her for a months. She did not want to sleep with me until she was sure that i love her. “
Sounds better ? When you ask for serious partner, you need to turn on your serious values, honor and dignity. That are real ingredients for relation. If you make investment only with sexy bra and pants, you will get affair.
behavior · cyber space · erotica · illusion · infidelity · jealousy · lies · life · lovers · loyalty

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

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When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.