Why women judge each others?

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Women like to say : i am different, i am difficult, i am hard. This might sound as they want to justify their position when something happens to some other women. “It could not happen to me. I would never do that. ” We are able to judge each other cause it is in our nature.

If everyone is different, then we are all again the same. I would say that everyone can be easy target in some life situations. Sometimes you can’t help to yourself, when you expose your weakness.

Imagine situation. You are hard target when you are cold toward guys which are not your type. That guy is for you ugly, boring, you simply don’t want him and it is very easy to be unavailable toward him. Well, if man attracts you, it is not easy to pretend that you don’t want him, it is not easy to control your feelings, even you smell trouble. That is why we will make same mistakes, even we know how story will finish.

When woman is hard target?

If she is not in mood for relation, not in such phase, because she got over hard breakup or she is busy with her job or personal problems.

If she really doesn’t like guy.

If she wants someone else who doesn’t want her.

If her nature is calculated. Simply, she doesn’t want to waste time on temporary adventures or random flirts.

What is with other women, who are emotional, spontaneous, passionate by nature? Are they easy targets or just not cautious as they should be?

Should we judge them if they fail in relations? Should we give them advices ?

I think every woman has her crush and burn period in life. If she learn this , she will watch out and she will not look at men with same eyes.  Also, if you are person who likes risk, bigger are chances that you will burn your fingers.

I had friend who lived in golden cage. Her first boyfriend was her neighbor, other boyfriend was also neighbor and she got married for him. She never tasted adventures, because she was afraid of risk . She was saved on some way, but on other way she was limited because at her point she was always judging women who lived different.

It is easy to be closed in golden cage when you know nobody can enter. Nobody can hurt you, but nobody can surprise you either.

When woman says, i am different, i would not sit in his car, i would not show my face on internet, i would not talk with such guy, she is judging others on a way like they are childish or stupid. Like she discovered America, but indeed she build wall. Walls are not so resistant and one day one man can swap her on ground.

When you build bridge, when you open your heart, you are open target. You are not different from others , not easy to get, you are just ready to risk. This is only difference between women who live safely and those who live in troubles.

Curiosity killed the cat, as old proverb said, so you can only learn from your troubles. One day , when you get old, maybe you would regret because you did not live more. Or maybe you will be proud because you expose yourself.

My ex office mate once said : “Why to afraid to talk about sex? When i was young, i got laid in beach and everywhere. So, why to regret?”

Who is your friend with benefits?

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You are hungry for passion and you are not in relation? Relation is indeed obligation and it takes lot of attempts to find right partner. Sometimes we can be so busy that we have no time to focus on special person in our life, to reply on every SMS and every phone call, to support that person in the case of troubles or problems.

If we are not ready for relation, we must be honest. Here is an option if you don’t want to be alone but also if you don’t want to be bonded with someone. This solution is friend with benefit.

Samantha was excellent student, she was running for future career and education was her dream. She wanted to become successful lawyer. All her relations broke because she was so busy with exams, seminars and also she was working in library during her free time. Her partners felt that they are  unnecessary things and all gone from her life. This stressful life make her frustrated because she needed sex. She didn’t want to be promiscuous because of her reputation. So she had deal with her best friend Frank. From time to time, they had dates with sex. Frank was single, also not ready for obligations and he liked Samantha so they had casual sex once at week. But then Frank found girlfriend and Samantha became jealous. He was cheating his regular girlfriend with Samantha and that relation broke. Frank and Samantha involved feelings and they became real couple. This story had happy ending.

 

Melissa had no such luck. Her friend Ronald used her for sex, but she hoped it will be different. She realized after one year that it will never change, because Melissa was only sexual toy for Ronald. He was nice with other girls, but he did not know when Melissa has birthday, what is her’s sister name and so many things important to respect person. She took him benefits and broke that connection, with tears.

What is important if you decide to have friend with benefit?

check out is that person single

– accept that is deal only for sex

– don’t be jealous on his or her private life, your meetings are just for sex

– you can get out from that “relation” anytime, without explanation

– don’t judge or blame your friend with benefit, it was deal from the start

If you are not stable person, if you live in dreams or it is easy to deceive you, this kind of relation is not for you. This is game of nerves and your feelings must shut down. Even if that “relation” become something serious, it will not be with force or because you beg for real love. It will be spontaneous.

 

Think about that person, how much benefits he or she deserve , because you are master of your body. Also be sure that person knows to keep a secret, because some people are corny and traditional. Maybe your future partner could not accept that you had friend with benefit. Let it be your sweet secret.

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

Your partner is not your property

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You met someone and your heart tells you this is your soulmate. Hurry up to mark your territory , until hot sparks are in the air.

That is what some couples do. Few fast steps and their partner is already as dog, with necklace, and everybody know who is the owner.

Samuel fell in love in Nicole at first sight. She chose him between many guys and he was proud that he captured her heart. Soon, he introduce her to his family and they accepted her very good. Nicole was kind of lady, well mannered, elegant, educated and pretty. Who would not like her? Soon she was regular guest on all family dinners, every gathering and birthday was an opportunity for Samuel to promote Nicole as girlfriend.Nicole wanted to go on concert of Pearl Jam, but, gosh, it was anniversary of Samuel’s parents that Saturday so they skipped it.

They were just two months in relation, but everyone knew them as couple. Common photos at Samuel’s Facebook page were pop out every day. Nicole is having bath. Nicole eat sandwich. Nicole got period so she is so grumpy. Nicole did not put makeup, what a surprise today. Soon, friends of Samuel were confused, is that really his page? Of course, Nicole got password too. Samuel lost his identity in this relation, even Nicole did not asked for it.

One day all changed. Nicole announced that she got job in another city. It was great business opportunity for her and she said she will move to find flat there. Samuel had obligations on his work and he could not accept her terms to move together with her. He wanted to wait. But Nicole was stubborn and she made distance with him. They were still in relation, but she was with him just once at week. Samuel’s family asked where is Nicole, they gave advices to him, even his brother call her to give his opinion about this relation. They all interfere between them. Finally she lost nerves and left him.

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Why to rush in serious relation if you are not sure or you are not ready? 
What starts so suddenly it will finish fast. Nicole and Samuel were couples as from cover magazine, so popular and perfect, but they were irritating. They raised dust and when circumstances changed, all gone in few seconds.

It is nice to declare your love because you wish that everyone confirm and know about your happiness. But, if you don’t know person very well, why to rush? You can involve your friends and family in something misty and they will also pay price for you. Who is that girl? Who is that gorgeous young man? What you know about them? Our ego will feed with their appearance , because other people will be envious.

Sometimes that is matter of our vanity. Let’s expose our better half because she is gorgeous. Finally, i have something to talk about . Samuel had average look and bad job, but Nicole was a star. She was his ticket to showtime. He found horse for race and his friends could finally shut up and stop to think about him as a loser.

That love was on the stage, something what makes others to talk about. Also, it did not end well, because she did not have enough space for her freedom. If you rush to catch your soulmate, to hold her too tight, it will break in pieces.

If you love someone let it go. If that person returns to you, that love is real. If not, it was just relation in your fantasy.

Put your lover on lice

You love him, but you are not sure on his feelings? He likes you, but words “i love you” are not on his mouth?

Love is not always mutual and balanced. We can meet some persons who will be amazing and stunning for us, but still something stops us to love them.

It is easy to have sex, but making love and sex are two different things.

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Main differences :

When you have only sex you don’t want to see this person few days, you need to be alone to clean your mind and heart, maybe you will feel guilt or shame.

 

When you make love you want to be with this person all the time, to make her happy with different things and on different ways because you shared something special together.


Having casual sex is like changing socks. One day with one partner, another day with second partner. Making love is like you buy expensive dress and you will care for this not to destroy something what is so special for you. You make love only with one person, and that person is owner of your heart.

There is an old trick how to recognize real love. Girls will often be fooled by sweet words but actions will make cold shower.

 

Some experiences.

He was great lover, it must be love. He treated my body so great, as real expert. I never enjoyed like with him. “

“We are making love every time when i see him. I think he loves me, otherwise he would not jump on me every time when we meet.”

After this.

“He did not call me, and when i called him he said that he is busy, but i saw him in coffee bar with friends two hours later.”

“I don’t know why his friends are laughing to me. How his friends know that i wear red bra and tanga?”

“He said that i must be a bitch when i enjoyed so much.”

When your relation has only one purpose, when you are not talking with partner, you don’t share nothing except passionate sex, that is not real love. You can test your partner. If sex is the only reason why he or she is calling you, then you can deny this. You will not lose nothing. Iced relation is cold weapon in this cold war.

Dominic and Marie had passionate, hot relation. She felt with him like in “Basic instinct”, just without killing. She could not reject him never. One day she found lipstick in his bathroom and she found out that he is cheating her. She did not say nothing, but when Dominic called her next time, she pretended that she is busy. Dominic did not give up so he called her again for few days. Marie opened door in provocative underwear and invited him on glass of champagne. Dominic started to kiss her, she pushed him and said to him that she is not in the mood. Then she put all cards on the desk, and Dominic was faced with the truth.

He could not say that he loves her. He was using an opportunity, but when Marie rejected him , it was not purpose for this relation anymore. She found out the truth, even on painful way.

 

If you touch partner without feelings of love, if you are just horny, this is like contact of two dead bodies. No sparks and no flame , just superficial instinct. It is alright if you have deal with your partner, but if you love, and he doesn’t love or opposite, then you have problem.

Put your lover on ice and your will know the answer.

How is to feel like uglier half?

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Do you know the meaning of word DUFF? That is Designated fat ugly friend, by urban dictionary. So, now you expect creature about 100 kilograms weight, with thick glasses or pimples on face, who wish to be in your company?
Or, maybe you wish to find someone similar, to pull more attention on yourself, because two good looking persons will look better with third, plain or ugly person, who is walking with them?
Society is cruel, especially when you are young. Everyone will talk about inside look, about beauty of personality, but these things came out when you get older. When you are young , there is possibility to collect crumbs from your pretty friends, because you are duff.
Saturday night is here and you wish to go out, to meet awesome guys. You focus your attention on one, but he is too handsome, too cocky or just unavailable. Lucky for you, he has duff friend.
What is the task of this duff?
You can talk with duff friend, to collect info about your guy.
 
If you are familiar with duff friend, you will be invited on party where is your guy.
 
Duff will not be rude toward you. He is happy because he talks with pretty girl.
 
Duff is intro in big game. If you talk with duff, now you are ready for next phase. 
In society everyone plays roles. Soon, some guys will realize that they have power because of their natural benefits.
Sean was handsome guy with 3 ugly friends. Timothy, Ryan and Wesley were cool guys, but they were virgins even they had 25. If you look at them, they would remind you on Adams family. Girls called them Team Gethaldus because they had glasses . Even Sean was rude to them, they did not want to leave him. When Sean dumped girl, she would cry and complain to Team Gethaldus, they were shoulders for crying. Sometimes they would even get kiss or hug from that abandoned girls. Also, they learnt a lot about women psychology from Sean, and once when he was in good mood, he gave them some advices. Later, when they created own business their luck turned over.
For sure many girls felt like the duff , in the company of their good looking friends. For comfort, everyone can be in the role of duff. Imagine yourself as friend of Scarlett Johanson. You are pretty, but she is a star. Or, maybe to be friend of Paris Hilton? She is famous, and everyone will ask about her, you will maybe drag her bags in shopping time.
Some girls will avoid company of popular friends, because they don’t want to be in the background. Other will intentionaly find ugly friends, just to feel superior. In any kind of such friendship, this reasons are bad. You can’t underestimate person, because she is maybe ugly, but she could be smart, talented and creative. You might hurt someone and regret it later.
There was time when i was average teenager, with my sexy friend. She was in short skirts and high heels even she was 16, and i was as nerd kid. Everyone asked for her, and i was kind of postman, until i quit this. Guy interested for me even i was her duff. She wanted to give me advice about him but i wanted to get out from her shadow. Later, i broke with her and with this guy, but i learnt about myself. Lack of selfconfidence will indeed make you the duff.
If you are person who sits in the corner in the night club, if you reject everyone who try to approach you, if you are grumpy all the time and you make conflicts from nothing, you are the duff. This label is something what you stick on yourself. Society is sometimes ugly , but members are here to change the rules.

Did you try to reanimate dead relation?

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When people fall in love, someone is always in advantage. That belongs to person who love less on first sight. In this circumstances, such person has slow reactions, heart is locked and self control is on the highest level. Other half in this couple is more sensitive, fragile and more available as emotional target.
The same happens when people start to chill out from romantic blindness. Person who chill out first is also in advantage. Yesterday she was crazy about you and she did not notice your bad breath, short legs or not so slim belly. Today she said that you should wash teeth more often, that you are not so fit and that she can’t get horny on you. So when we love even monkey is beautiful. When we don’t love anymore, we see things as they are and our criticism blinks on every detail.
Remember your ex boyfriends or girlfriends from the past. Today you will smile or even regret why you did such choice. But on other side, maybe reactions will not be the same. Maybe person is still into you and they can’t forget or chill out.
What happens when person can’t forget ex love, even it is very clear that it will never come back again?
You stand on the same place. It is impossible to move on because you are frozen.
 
You blame ex partner for all failures in your love life, even he vanished from your life a long time ago.
 
You don’t notice new people around you.
 
You try to get revenge and to ruin other life because of pain you feel inside.
Person who can’t forget made damage to yourself. 
 
Imagine that you try to get back person who forgot you a long time ago.

 
This is possible development of this story.
 
She will laugh to you.
 
If you disturb to your ex partner , she will call police or someone who will make your life miserable.
 
She can sue you for hurting her privacy and also is possible to ask access barring.
Now you think about, is that worthy, that people feel sorry for you or make jokes with you? Just because your ego is suffering?

My general opinion about people who can’t accept word no is that they never loved this fatal person. 

When you love someone and when relation broke, you will walk your way and let person to be happy, even without you. We all lose some battles in life and we can’t have it all what we imagined. Why to keep someone in fear just because our ego can’t stand defeat? This is obsession, not love.

Naomi had big problems with her ex boyfriend Ted. Long time after they broke up her phone was ringing in the middle of the night and she could not sleep well because she was disturbed by this calls. Ted was following her in all places where she went, but she was persistent in her decision. She ignored him and she was cold as an iceberg. Ted soon realized his nonsense so he left her alone.

When you are stalking person who left you a long time ago, you are catching shadow. 

That shadow will be around you, but you can’t touch her because it is forward you. Also, you are wasting your precious time which will never come back again.

Remember when you had beautiful rose . After few days that rose faded. Even you changed water in vase , that rose was without color and smell. Soon it was dry plant and all you could do is to put this into trash box. The same is with love from the past, you need to close this chapter because it ended a long time ago.

Too much dominant woman is a burden

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Strong attitude is sexy, because you know what you wish and how to ask for it. You don’t afraid to approach to guys , to express your desires and to take control in relationship. If you do some steps more, you are into men area, and this is negative for you.
Ask any man, would he like to date with vixen? Mostly, they will say yes for one night stand with vixen, but no for relation, especially for marriage.
Who is indeed vixen or harpy? 
Woman with hysterical approach. “If you don’t do what i asked from you, you will pay for this.”
 
Woman who will always complain on anything. “You did not call me on time, you did not wash dishes, you are generally idiot. “
 
Woman who is ready to use physical force to get what she wants. Yellow press wrote about Slavica Ecclestone , as about woman who beat her husband Bernie.
 
Woman who make scenes in publicity, because she needs audience for approval.
 
Woman who involve in everything, so she will know what is the best for her man. Choice of friends, job and hobbies are in her hands. She takes over.
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Men will make mutual jokes about friends who are married with vixen.
Something like this:
“Did you hear about Gary, he went to job in the morning with black eye. His wife has hard fist.”
 
“I called Max on mobile, to invite him on my birthday party, and his wife told me that he is not available for me. She said that i am not good company for him.”
 
 
Love sparks will increase because of our differences. It is not by accident, that woman are more soft and gentle, and men are strong and firm. When you act like man, your man will have bad feeling. It doesn’t mean that you must cry all the time or that your man must earn money for you. You can find sophisticated, female ways, to prove that you have right. There is nothing less sexy than screaming voice or hysterical cry.
Some things will do only vixen, and it will chill out men on the level zero.
Force man for sex when he is not in the mood. 
 
Blackmail to your man, that you will do something bad, if he doesn’t act accord your wishes.
 
Humiliate your man in front of other men. He will remember if you dance with his friend and if you acted as slut in his arms.
Fight with another woman in front of him. For sure, your rival will deserve role of victim, especially if you are the first who attacked her.
Talk open and without limits about your sexual past. You don’t have to consider yourself as sexual machine.
 
Compare your present boyfriend with your ex partner, who was great lover. And if you do deep sigh, be sure your man will remember this.
 
Many teenagers will think that is so cool if they act like Milley Cyrus and talk dirty, or if they call boyfriend as “their bitch.” This is maybe cool in movies, but not in reality. Absolutely, men will not get you serious. He will have fun with you and next day you will not receive call from him. He is a man, why should he needs another guy?
If man is hugged by vixen, other guys will laugh to him. He will be labelled as milksop, because his woman takes control over him. Even worse, if woman cheat him, he is loser of the year. Woman with gun is maybe sexy, but woman with rose is love of his life.  In symbolic way, what you show it will come back to you.

When your partner makes you embarrassed

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You are crushed into your partner over ears. Will you let him to do anything, no matter what people say? Opinion of others is not important, but if you don’t wish that people laugh to you or pity you, your partner will behave properly. What if you found partner who makes you embarrassed?
This is nightmare for every relation, someone you love is your shame. Men and women will afraid of partner who will get them into uncomfortable situation and in this case there is a choice : stay with partner or leave him.
On first sight, some characteristic will look cool in the eyes of people in love. Two teenagers are crazy in love, he said to his teacher to go to hell, he abandoned her class and shown middle finger. Later, when couple grows up, he might leave his workplace with swearing. Then he will send his mother in law to hell.
Heather cried in relation with her ex boyfriend Thomas, he was great lover, but he ruined her reputation. All her friends started to avoid her, because Thomas used nasty jokes about chubby girls and stupid blondes. He found it hilarious even he was the only one who laughed.
Boundaries between jokes and manners are very thin. Some things could be funny, but not appropriate.
Let’s see situations which women hate, and what will make them feel ashamed.
Partner who stinks. 
Untidy clothes, bad breath, sweat. Your friends might tease you, how you handle Mr Stinky?
Partner who try to flirt with your friends and female relatives.
It is all right if your partner is kind toward your friends, but when he start to comment their boobs and booties, that is not funny anymore.
Partner who talks about his ex’s in front of your friends or in publicity.
That is not nice, to be compared with past lovers.
Partner who ask you money, to pay drinks and food everytime when you sit in restaurant.
 
Partner who disrespect your parents and who doesn’t try to hide this. 
 
Aggressive macho man.
 
He is the one who will yell on you in front of people, because you make your lunch with too much salt. 
 
 
On other hand, men are also terrified that their better half should make them ashamed.
 
Too open minded women.
She talks openly about your penis, sex skills, and her sexual experience.
Smartass woman.
She knows everything better than her man.
Overprotective woman.
She is mother and partner in the same time. She is the one who wipe your mouth after meal.
Woman who poke nose in male business.
She knows all about cars, football, Formula 1. She will correct you, who is the best player in Brazil.
Control freak.
She is the one who watch over you, like policeman. She will give you advices about job and friends, because she knows what is the best for you.
Jealous bitch. 
Woman who will make scene every time when you talk with opposite gender.
Shame is opposite from pride. If you have partner who make your pride under question, that is bad for relation. Partner should work on relation together and make deal. You can yell on each other between four walls, but why should everybody know about your dirty laundry?
Some couples are masters to hide their skeletons in the closet. They are as queen and king, and nobody knows what is behind this. Others are actors in theater, for audience, and that kind of people are subjects of gossips.
It is not matter what people say, but why to give them materials for rumors? After all, everyone likes to talk about others, more than about themselves. When partner says : “I know you don’t like my sister, but for my love, talk with her kindly”, listen this. It is not hard to pretend sometimes. You don’t like your mother in law, but you can say to her that she has right. She will shine, and her son will be grateful to you. Better that, than you make him blush.

What we ask in chat rooms?

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We wish to share some secrets with others, but lack of trust will stop us in the moment. Maybe we feel ashamed and insecure. Maybe we can’t handle expression of other’s faces when we say shocking story. Or, we afraid of boomerang effect, that all what we say can be used against us.
In past times friends were gathering to share problems. We would drink coffee and talk about bad ex partners or hard exams. We were gossiping teachers and bosses. Material is now the same, but place for share moved on. We share our secrets in chat rooms.
Word “trust” has new dimension. That is not situation when you look someone familiar in the eyes. You can open camera, but you are looking in the eyes of strangers. Also you don’t know who is that person, from where is coming from, what is her past. This sounds freaky, isn’t it? If stranger asked you, before 10 years, to tell him story of your life, you would label him as idiot. Now, we are sharing our stories between strangers with nicknames, and that is normal.
Why people love so much internet chat rooms or inbox?
Effect of mystery. It is cool to talk with someone who doesn’t know you. You can lie about yourself and person can’t know the truth. 

Safety. He is far away and he will not come at your door. Unless you give him address. 

Attention.Finally someone is listening you. You have no attention from your friends, colleagues, relatives, but stranger with nickname is listening your problems. 

Feeling of love.You might feel loved. Someone is talking with you whole day, send you messages, and your day is passing between computer monitor and phone. Otherwise, you would cry in dark angle of your room.

Brooke works at office . She is civil officer and her day is covered with calls and papers. All around her is boring, speaking about her office mate who is numb and introvert, until hysterical boss. Brooke found her comfort in chat room. She is talking with Murat, awesome man from Turkey. Her time is passing so soon with him, because everything what he says is different and interesting. Another country, another habits and another culture. Also, Brooke feels special with him, he is listening what she has to say.
People will say that we became strangers when internet appeared. An opposite, internet took place because we treated each other as strangers. Internet did not separated people, because people were lonely before. Imagine this situation. Person x is coughing at office for a half hour, and nobody cares. Unless person collaps and die, nobody will ask you do you need help or medicine. Boss will ask you did you finished your work for today. If you wish to get out because you don’t feel well, you will need licence for exit. Colleagues will have noses in their job, and they will be angry because your coughing is interrupting their work. Strangers in chat rooms will ask you how you feel and they will give you advice.
Strange fact is, when we are enough far way from each other, we start to care more. Distance will break routine, and we will start to ask for other people. We did not notice that our colleague change her hairstyle, but we noticed new profile picture.
Special part of this problem is human character. Bohemian people will hardly fit in. We are not all made for social rules. We don’t want to associate in common lunch in business restaurant. The truth is, reality is limited.
When you are in virtual space, you are totally free. You can delete and block. You can pick with whom you will talk. You will turn off computer when you wish. Well, if you sit in business restaurant with your colleagues, you are not so free. You can’t get up from the table just like that, because someone said something unpolite to you. There are your office mates. Yes, they are assholes and you can tell them open, but other day all will gossip you. Maybe you can lose job. In chat room, you can flag person or simply delete your account. Then you will walk away where you wish.
The biggest freedom starts when we are not aware of obligations. In this case, we don’t have stone in our stomach. We are not obligated to be in internet, but we wish to be. Even it looks that we are slaves or addicted, internet has special way to keep us together on one place. That is reason why strangers are now in our workplaces and neighborhood,  not in chat rooms.
Someone , somewhere  cares about you more than your colleagues next door.