Where is conflict zone in common life?

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Even most compatible couples will have conflicts. Small fights and discussions are part of life, especially when you share your space with someone. Who can handle years of life in common without arguments? Every conflict is indeed test for couples.

Small conflicts are constructive. You will say what is bothering you, he will say his opinion and you can met on half way. Also it can make your relation spicy and more exciting. You are fighting, soon you will kiss and make love with him. Sounds like in romantic movie.

What are most often subjects of conflicts between couples?

His or her parents. You can’t stand his annoying mother, she brings lunch every time she visit you, like you don’t have idea about cooking. Last time, when she went, you throw her meal into garbage. He can’t stand your bossy father, this man knows the best about everything, from football until how to paint wall.

Sex. You have headache, he is horny. He is busy, and you want to make love. How to find common language between sheets?

House work. Who will wash dishes, and who will make lunch? Why your man is so untidy, that you jump over his socks and shirts which are on the floor? Why your woman use bathroom as space for her makeover? When she will cook something tasty?

Friends. You don’t like her best friend. That woman is barking as dog. She come to drink cup of coffee and you must watch and listen her gossips whole afternoon. You don’t like his pals too. His friends are drinking buddies, they will drag your husband in striptease club and he will back drunk.

Television. Oh, why he must watch this Hustler every time? Why she is hanging on 24 Kitchen? And that stupid programs about baseball and handball? Who is watching this anyway? He can’t stand Oprah.

Kids. If you have children, you will argue about their behavior and education. Who knows the best? You think you must be gentle and soft with children. He thinks that paddle comes out from paradise. Why not to yell on your daughter? She needs to learn about respect.

Money. If you both earn money, you will pay your bills together. If you don’t have job, you are into problems. Every partner will complain after some time. What, i will work for you and your expenses? No way. I paid this phone bill, to whom are you talking so much? Did you call hot line? I know you called your auntie in Australia. I will not work for your barking on the phone.

Love relation is big complex, and lot of things must work out to be successful. This is like an orchestra. All instruments must sound good. If not, you will have incredible noise, and you will get out. You live with your love, and you can’t work by your own. No, you are not alone when you take decisions. Ask your partner for opinion and make a deal. That will be beautiful melody, you created this together.

Thank you 600 followers

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Before i continue with new posts, i wish to say thanks to my followers. Thanks for your attention, comments, suggestion and inspiration.

I am not typical blogger, i don’t write kind of diary as ” i had this for breakfast” cause i am not Beyonce that someone would be interested for that. I write stories from my experience and always protect my sources. Also, i don’t like when someone put link under my blog, i will always moderate this because i think promotion is good only when is allowed. If i want to follow your blog, i will do it by myself, i don’t need push button. Also i never put my links on other blogs, unless is theme about promoting blogs.

I like constructive comments, critics, also i comment under blogs which got my attention. Here are wonderful bloggers, it is also inspirational sourcing for me, cause i can learn a lot from other bloggers, especially cause English is not my mother tongue and i do mistakes in spelling or grammar. What i would never do, to hire professional translator. That would not be me. Also i am not expert for psychology and i would never interfere into professional area, to give some expert advices. My profession is law and i have rich life experience, so what i write, i write from my heart.

I hope my number of followers will increase more with time, and i wish you great inspiration on this start of new week.

How much internet affects your real life?

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Secret is something hidden and we don’t want to reveal this to everybody. Now days, secrets have different meaning, because if you share secret to someone at internet, don’t be so sure that you will keep this safe.

Bertha was very surprised when her mother in law come into  her house . She was so angry that she attacked Bertha in the same minute when she opened door.

– What i heard about you ? That you will divorce from my son?

All was clear, because Bertha had small argument with her husband Roy and she wrote in her Facebook status “divorced.” She wanted to show him that she is still desirable because he was adding pretty girls into his page and commented their photos on nasty way. Bertha was angry so she changed status. Even she had this status only one night , she got many private messages from worried people and some new friend requests. Also someone with bad intentions called her mother in law to tell her bad news.

Bertha invited her on coffee to explain what is going on. Her mother in law is primitive woman. She raised on village, between pigs and cows and she has no idea about social networks, she even doesn’t know to turn on computer. But, she knows one fact, that people will talk bad about her son and his wife because they will divorce. How she will explain this to relatives and neighbors?

– Don’t worry, it was only a joke. Please calm down.

– How will i calm down? You embarrassed your children, how i will go to market and look people in the eyes?

 

Indeed, secrets and privacy are modified on internet. 

If you work at workplace with strict rules, don’t appear on social networks in provocative clothes or don’t put photos from parties. Especially don’t write name of your workplace and then gossips about your bosses. Don’t open page with your real name and your address. You want to tell the world who are you and that you are successful, but take care, not everybody will like you. Some people are malicious. For example, someone reported Lisa to her headmaster because Lisa was admin on one social forum about love problems. Lisa had big troubles to explain at work why she write on forum during work time. 

When we are angry, sad, excited, even drunk, computer is good as tool to throw out feelings from ourselves. Let’s write, send messages, post photos. Later, we can regret. Someone will be hurt. Someone wants to get revenge. Some people are waiting in ambush for victims, busybodies want to dig into other lives because they don’t have own problems. 

When you log in on internet, it is like you are guest on radio or television reality show. What you had for breakfast? Which sexual pose you like the most? What is your middle name? Don’t worry, everybody will find out. 

Even worse, you are under virtual magnifier. Everything you said or did might have double meaning. 

Men who talk hunter stories

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Do you know about kind of guys who always gossip women after they slept with them? For sure , if you are woman you will possibly judge them and think that they are monkeys or social trash.
Imagine man’s circle with few guys who are joking and laughing, and certain woman is subject of their topics.
“She was screaming as pig. “
“She had hanged boobs. “
“She did not wash her teeth. “
“She was psycho, she called me hundred times after we broke. “
Hunter stories are familiar to men species. When someone asked Harry when he got laid last time, he said : “It was prostitute, i met her at club in Budapest. ” After him, Billy said : “She was married and her husband was often at business trips. He was broker, so we got laid while he was not at home. I forgot my watch there so i had troubles later. “
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How to recognize hunter story?
Guy can’t prove that his lover girl even existed.
 
Guy repeat the same story, but with different details.
 
If someone ask where is the girl now, he will say that she moved from city or visited relatives in foreign country.
Details are exaggerated. 
(Boobs as Pamela Anderson. She was model , but nobody saw her appearance in show business. She approached and asked sex at first sight, but she was not prostitute.She picked just him, ordinary guy. )
One of my friends made name for girls which supposed to be subject of hunter stories, but nobody saw them. These are drawn girls. So, when male friends know about guy who never date with girls, and he suddenly talks about dating with bombshell, they will say that he fall in love in drawn girl.
Why some men love to brag about their sexual adventures, and even lie about numbers of their sexual partners?
Well, man’s circle is cruel. Guys have habit to mock members who never got laid, especially when they are already in certain ages. You have over 30, and you are still a virgin? That sucks. So some men will brag about fake lovers, just to save their pride and ego.
Women could be cruel, too. Women love to date with guy who is already experienced, even popular. When some woman hear about virgin, she will say “i don’t want to be his first experimental rabbit. “So, guy will sell her story, just to save his backbone.
Men want to save their manhood. If you did not get laid when it was time, you are not a man. Society has some standards, so you must prove that you are worthy.
Pressure of society. Virgins will ask company of playboys, just to meet with more women. If you are virgin and your friend is popular playboy, he is your ticket into sexual paradise.
Fear from isolation. If you did not have sex, you can be isolated. Your friends are all fuckers, and you did not even touch a woman. What a shame.
Everything has two sides. If you hear hunter story, don’t judge guy too quick. He had social pressure, that you will not like him if he says truth about himself. He is afraid, that he will be boring and loser in your eyes.

Can you control your fantasies?

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If we compare reality and our fantasies, tastes are different. Reality often leaves bitter taste in our mouth, like we swallowed fish oil. Fantasies are cream on the cake, that sugar dose which will make our life more magical. If you have habit to live in fantasies, you can’t look into eyes of your reality. It is too much painful, cruel or simply you feel empty? Take a nap and call your fantasies in your dreams, but don’t sleep forever otherwise you will have nightmares.

Doris always get late from her office work. Sometimes she works overtime, that is private company and her boss is unpredictable. If they don’t sell some products on time, she will stay even for weekends. After work she must go in the shopping mall. Her husband is also busy and tired so Doris will buy grosseries for dinner. That Tuesday was especially bad day. Doris got complaints from her clients, her boss was yelling on her and it was terrible crowd on the road. Finally, she went into mall and there was big line, one old woman made mess because she forgot her wallet. Doris wanted to destroy all around herself, but all she could do was deep sigh. 

Recently she opened her profile on one social network. It was her escape from reality. When her husband Paul started to snore, her only comfort was to stay awake in the middle of the night. There she met Gerard, man from France. They were immediately connected , as virtual lovers. Doris had virtual affair, and she did not feel guilt. After all, Paul was not interested for sex for a week, he was constantly tired and Doris wanted passionate moments. Gerard and Doris exchanged erotic messages. She opened herself to him, and he trusted her to talk about his life. His fiance died from cancer before two years, and accord his story he had terrible shock and he could not make love with any woman, because he had feeling that he is cheating. Doris was sexy woman and her photos attracted Gerard, especially her breasts, always in tight shirts. That captured his attention, and he felt excited and horny. After some time Doris noticed that he talks with her only in messages. He was his friend at her page, but when she opened statuses, Gerard was numb. Also, he was very talkative with other women. Gerard explained to Doris, he can’t talk with her public, because he is ashamed of his dirty messages to her. He imagined her lips with his penis in mouth. Even he asked her permission to masturbate on her photos. Doris was unpleasantly surprised, especially when they had very hot chat, and after that Gerard talked with one woman on his status and called her lady. “So what is me?” Doris asked him, and he said ” I think that you like sex, i can see in your eyes.”

Doris did not want to participate in this fantasy anymore. Suddenly, even her husband was more atractive than Gerard. At least, Paul respected Doris and he was proud on her, she was indeed ambitious lady and very educated. In this moment, Doris felt very low and dirty. Gerard has many virtual women as friends, some were ugly and old, others were in cheap clothes, but he respected all and he spent all day to talk with them. When Doris appeared, he was numb and silent. So she wrote to him polite message to leave her alone. It was as business letter “our cooperation is over, go to shrink.” In some symbolic sense, Doris was bottle with pills, Gerard needed her to feel alive, but he could not respect her. He separated two things, his passion and respect and finally result was negative.

Fantasies are as white clouds, they look amazing until the storm. 

Then they will change color into grey and black. The same is with our imagination. One step too far and our dream is now nightmare. You were dreaming, but you fall from your bed and hit straight into your head. Ouch, that hurts. How can you be so stupid? You allow someone to tresspass into your privacy. That hot stranger is owner of your black side, your expression of secret desires now are his property. 

The good thing about fantasies is that we can use them as reminder.

You did not value what you had, so someone will remind you that it can be even worse. Maybe your reality is not Hollywood, but don’t want to swim in dirty water. This is risk which you take when you step into dark zone. Unknown area is maybe danger zone. This hot stranger doesn’t hold flower in his hands. He holds a bomb, which will explode every minute, together with your honor and reputation.

How to survive as weirdo?

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Some people were born to act accord social rules. As they have drafts what to say or to do in particular situations. “He knows to behave” or ” She is well educated” are just some of descriptions. When you fit in, you are safe from gossips and your circle of friends is big. Or, you just think on this way? If you are clumsy and simply stand out from usual patterns, you will have problem to be part of society, but your failures will help you to be more original.
Did you feel that you are part of wrong movie? Your personal twilight zone doesn’t have to be your disaster. For example, if you stuck between female friends who knows all about baking cakes, and you wish to disappear, it doesn’t mean that you are shame for woman species. I personally felt much better when i was drinking beer and watching football match Croatia – Mexico with my husband and male friends, when we all had so much fun even result was not good for us. I did not see myself with women who trade recipes for domestic cookies.  Probably i would yawn from boredom.
When you can be sure that you are different?
When everyone has something to say in group, and you don’t have opinion or you get bored.
 
When you feel that nobody listen your suggestions.
 
When others start to whisper and gossip about you, and you feel uncomfortable.
 
When you say something what makes others to wonder.
 
One interesting fact is : woman outsider has harder way than man outsider. Different guy is sexy and cool, but rebellious, strange woman is danger. She scares men. She could be victim of bullying. Also she could be declared as target for sex, because her mind is opened. It is not rarity that guys like to have sex with freaky women. She might know different things in bed, and she doesn’t runaway from exploring.
How you will play in this wrong movie, it depends on your character. Will you back up because all are against you, or you will walk in front of this crowd?
Some tips in this case:
Smile if crowd start to mock you. Smile is sign of self confidence.
 
Reply them on cool way. Don’t make your voice tremble. 
 
Don’t try to persuade others that you are not different than them. This is your protecting brand. If you listen heavy metal, and they are listening pop, it doesn’t make you bad person. You are not satanic person with horns.
 
Say what you think even this is opposite from majority. Let they stare at you.
Weirdos are more intelligent people and they have keys to freedom. If your clothes is different, if your accent is funny, if you eat vegan foods and everyone around you eat meat, you don’t have to be ashamed because of this. One my friend came in continental part of Croatia , and she was from Dalmatia. Her accent was different but she was talking loud and with smile, even people looked at her as she is an alien. Be proud of your roots no matter from where are you from, who are your parents and who is your partner. That is the only way that you play main role in this wrong movie, and this is not role of social clown.

Say cheese – personal photos on internet

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Did you ever see good looking girl and thought how cocky is she? Maybe she just had good taste for outfit and positive attitude, so her smile and words sound pretentious. Such people are subject for gossips because they are red spot in grey area. When i see such woman at work with perfect hair and makeup, i admire to her because often i have no patience and time to watch on every detail on my outside look. She is as walking magazine, everything is on place.

Reaction of people are different, so my colleagues think that she is pretentious bitch. Indeed she is inspiration, she never tease other people but she take care of herself. How we react on others talk about us, so if we are envious that is source of inner insecurity.

Look at photos on social networks, many women will use half naked photos to pull attention. I see quotes how is this inappropriate , vulgar and slutty. Indeed, that is not my business. If woman wants men who comment her photos, even with provoking style, that is her choice. Somehow i admire to women who can handle all men population who want to grab them and rip their clothes. Once i saw girl in swimsuit at Facebook, other girl said under photo :”Slut, how much?”, and she replied in cool way :”You have problem with me?”

Frankly, i will judge only double faced women. That category are women who wish to put their photos, but they afraid of their husbands or they think their body and face is not for photographs. In this inner mess they will attack others who dare. I sometimes put provoking photos on my page, not to attract men, i do it cause of defiance and to feel freedom. I wish to see what will moralists say. Parties on the beach, oh how dare you?

The bigger problem on some profile are fake photos or photos from youth, even we know how much person is old. Or, male under woman photo. Such freaks are not rare. Games with genders are popular on internet.

Some chick lit psychology claims that women with half naked photos will attract wrong kind of men. As perverts, maniacs, men for adventures. Well, who guarantee you that covered face will not attract maniac? If you are naive, your way of talk will connect opportunists and liars, no matter what you wear.

What is irritating conservative people the most?

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Photos with alcohol.

Photos with one women and more guys.

Photos of older women on party. 

Grumpy photos, because woman should always smile accord traditional standards.

Photos with cigarette. 

Short skirts, visible bra, messy hair.

Message is not outside, it is inside. You might fool people with blond hair and big boobs, but when you speak it will reveal your real nature. That was my pleasure, when two older gentlemen wanted to buy me drink and i said that i have enough money to pay my drinks by myself.

How virtual world kills people?

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Words can’t kill you, but their effect could be suicidal. You don’t believe this? Little girl from north-western Croatia, small city Lobor, 15 year old,  was found dead after threats and insults at her internet profile. One of her “friends” wrote under photo : “You are ugly, you better to kill yourself.” Reason of this insults was fatal guy, so group of girls notified her about possible revenge, because she stole guy who was already taken. She disappeared at first and her body was founded after, under suspicion that she committed suicide.

In Italy, girl in same ages made suicide because her photo was published at facebook page. In this photo she was vomit in toilet , after party where she was drunk.

In Bosnia, guy published porno video with his ex girlfriend, where they made love. Girl reported him and he got punishment about 3 years of jail.

This cases made one question: How much strong is human character?

How much we can handle, when pressure on our nerves system is too high? What to do when everyone turns against us, even when our “sins” are published at internet?

I can tell about my experience, about message i got in my inbox, when i denied friend request. Guy wrote: “Bitch, who do you think you are? Fuck your mother. Bitchhhhhhhh. “

For sure, this is not pleasant when someone is threating you public. If you read between lines, you will realize that person who insults you without reason in fact talk about himself. This message talks about his education, character and maturity. He can’t handle rejection and he doesn’t approve other choices. Maybe his parents are divorced or he never had parents. For sure, he is single and he had no luck with women.

Social networks are kind of prison, where only the strongest survive. People associate in gangs to fight together or to hang someone in public. If you stand on someone’s feet, you can expect everything. Sensitive and young people will often fail in this test, because they spend hours and hours at internet and it takes them personaly. For some people, it is the same as whole neighborhood made conspiracy against them.

What to recommend to their parents , teachers or any person who care about possible victims?

See how much time this person spend on internet. Take her on fresh air, in cinema, anywhere to relax and rest her mind.

Tell her don’t take this personaly, because some people are frustrated and jealous. 

This person must surround herself with people who love her, to raise her selfconfidence.

She must ignore or reply on higher level. Virtual bullies are the most unhappy when they see that victim is on higher level.

Smile and show happiness, because positive attitude is as cold shower for abusers.

 

Nobody will shot at you behind camera, you are safe if you don’t meet with person alive. Just, some people will try to kill you slow, with cold weapon. Look around yourself, on which way you lived before, did you need keyboard to be happy? Is it important because avatar insults you? How much damage can do ugly disclaimer to your personality?

When you let abusers to drag you into their dirty circle, you make damage to yourself. Social networks have rules , but people must protect themselves at first.  Internet is not battle field, you can’t return boyfriend who doesn’t want you anymore but you can embarrass yourself. You can’t get magic stick to make your life better but you can learn how to survive and focus on things which are really important, far away from ecran and keyboard.

Heroine stand next to heroes




History remember those who broke the rules. Also beautiful and brave women will enter into chronology and left their footprints. French national hero Jeanne d’ Arc is remembered as girl who was leader of french army and defeated English enemies and saved Orleans . Later she was wounded  and caught  as heretic girl. She was burnt on bonfire in Rouen when she was only 19. In the year of 1920 she was pronounced as saint.

In Croatia newspapers wrote about Kristina Ćurković. She is not leader of army but she was posing with gun. She became familiar when she was hitting eggs on politicians who represent Croatian democracy community (HDZ – political group) in Omiš. Also she remove the flag of European union  and changed with Croatian flag. When Croatia had referendum for family, she was strictly against gays and lesbians, and she said that family is community just for man and woman and only this kind of family can be healthy family. That girl is unemployed, young and pretty, and she declared herself as radical supporter of right center.

Reactions are various. People, included her own sister talk about her as girl ready for circus, hungry for attention. Especially because she was missing for a two days, nobody knew where she disappeared. She justified her absence with uncharged battery at cell phone.

Other people will clap their hands because she said something in public what is indeed truth, that people are not going on elections in Croatia. Only minority voted for present Government, and others are passive. 

One thing is for sure. In the time when many young people in Croatia are not interested for school, education and when streets are full of beggars, alcoholic and violent teenagers, this girl dare to say the truth. She is pretty, but she did not use her beauty to became model or singer, even this way could be easier for her. She expose herself to risk. Someone could attack her because of her open speech, she was already reported and she got public judgement.

If we compare her and Jeanne d’ Arc, differences are in attitude. It was another time. Jeanne burnt in bonfire because of her beliefs. Jeanne had no chance and possibilities to survive. Kristina was born in the age of technology. She just need to change her methods. Croatia needs new leaderships, but with calm and smart people who will have good arguments. This country is sleeping. We need someone to wake up sleepy crowd and lead them in the right direction. 

We have two political groups who are changing on the top . Social democrats, as left center, and conservative Croatian group HDZ (Croatian democratic community). The main conclusion is, they are not successful in their decision, people are unemployed, hungry, salaries are small and there is no order on the streets. You can see drunk teenager in the middle of the day with the bottle of wine how he fall on the floor and nobody will pay attention. In the other hand, policeman will approach you to ask you for documents if you are laughing loud when you return home from the party. 

What are real values and real order? This young girl pull her finger. She doesn’t know what she is exactly doing, but she asked question what we must think about. 

Born to be wild

I like wild guys, or at least guys who are not so available. This statement is not rarity, you will hear it from many girls. Even mature woman will admit that she would like to involve with wild guy, if her ages could not limit her or if her status would be single. Men are hunters by nature, but women are those who like to feel alive, seduced and captured by attention. If you think about fragile princess who fall on charm of some knight, you will see that he was not totally good and gentle guy. In past times duel was popular, so charming knight killed some rivals , just to get princess for himself.

What is so attractive in wild guys?

I will not say bad, because bad guy would be someone who hit woman or abuse her. Wild guy is someone who is not so easy target.

He is not here always when you need him.

He is not pushing you, to follow him or to be with him 24 hours.You must catch him.

With him, you are also free. You can’t hurt him so easily, because he is hard to get.

If you leave him, he will not threat you or beg for you, to bring you back. So, you will not leave him without reason.

He will show you wild side of life. Journeys, adventures,unusual experiences. For sure, with him you will not spend weekend at home.

Sex is amazing. 

With him, you will forget how old you are.

Women will be interested, what to do, to capture heart of such guys? What kind of woman he would ask?

This kind of women will have advantage:

Busy woman, financial independent and with open mind. 

Woman who accept to cross her limits. 

(Fear is not desirable if you wish to be in relation with wild guy.)

Modern woman, who will not judge him. 

(Judgments and stereotypes are stones on his way.)

Some women make mistakes in their first steps. They wish to meet wild, even bad guy , for passionate relation. Later, they will try to change him and tie, to sit in chair at home, with bottle of beer , until she is cooking dinner. She will try to cut bonds with all his friends and she will make a list of restrictions. When he runaways, she is surprised. If man wish to change, he will do it for himself. Any other change, against his wishes, is painful as surgery . 

Hazel and William got married after only 5 months of dating, because she got pregnant.. He had big house at farm, with animals and vegetables. Hazel was not thrilled, she was usually painting her nails in the garden. She expected that William will stay at home to help her with chickens and pigs. Instead of this, William continued to meet with his friends, who were motorbikes. She was spending time with his mother, and she did not like this. After she gave birth, things were even worse, because he did not pay attention to his child, at all. So this marriage failed.

Relations with wild guys are very popular when girl is young. After this, if you must care all life burden on your back, and this wild guy is also unemployed, this will not be so attractive. If his wilderness is just an excuse to stay at home with drinking buddies, he is a jerk. 

Wilderness has some side effects.

What captured your attention at first sight is not so important later. Maybe his unpredictable nature will be just an obstacle to his way to maturity. If his guts are good tools to fight for you or to make his ambitions bigger, this is good sign. In other case, if he is wild just to cover his laziness and spend money on drugs and alcohol, think about your choice. He is maybe born to be wild, but you can break free.