Don’t be delusional about breakups

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Breakups, we all know everything about it. Someone kick you out from his life or you cut off someone from your life. That should be the end, isn’t it? Can you break up after break up? Like you bury the same dead man twice.

 

Abandoned person sometimes live in illusion that everything will again be the same. The worst part of this sad story is denial. What if person can’t let you go? Here comes the situation when you are smiling again, breath again without rock in your lungs, when you can walk without chains in your feet.  Suddenly, he appears again in every corner.

Even when he found someone else, he says “she is not like you, it is not the same”, but he doesn’t want to admit that he did wrong thing , he has no courage to start it again. He wants to sit on two chairs. One chair is safe, this sweet girl who will care for him and wipe his ass, and the other, this is you, the other who were challenge for him and he could not forget.

 

One of excuses is that you don’t fit into his life. You are not appropriate. I think that every guy who choose girl by his conscience, to please society, is very unhappy guy. When heart made choice, it will accept only one person as loving one.

World is full of people who got married because it was practical idea, it was wish of his mother, society or financial agreement. Who cares for the heart?

 

That kind of losers wants to have both, wild mistress and cute wife, so that they can please their wishes on both side.

 

I believe in old truth about love. The one who loves you truly will never stop loving you because of some interest, because it was not good time or his nerves were broken.

Love doesn’t recognize excuses, apologies, terms. You love or you not love. Every other feeling might be sorrow for something you missed, desire, unfilled dream.

So be careful when you love, and don’t make yourself or other person to play role of victim. Be brave and face it with love.

Real love is naked and simple. That is why we said “i love you.” Not “but i don’t know what to do, give me time, time will show”.

When you love someone, do not hesitate. There is word “not now”, and next following words are “too late.”

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Are you loser between winners?

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If you have mentality of winner, you will wish full taste of victory. In this case you are aware that victory is not just an opposite from defeat, this is indeed confirmation of your strength. If your rival is weak, injured and dead, if he lies on the floor, it is not funny to hit him. Who wants to play with dead dog? Who wants to make final kick in open target ?

I will use sport dictionary, so if you play tennis, Novak Đoković would be the most desirable opponent, and if you are footballer , Barcelona and Real would be big snacks for you. Victory as David against Goliath is crown of victories, so try to prove that you can push the biggest from their thrones. When Pir, king of Epir, won battle in Rome, he said that he doesn’t need this victory, because more victories like these will make them lost. He got much damages and this victory was similar to defeat.

We are competitors to each other, our life is made from victories and defeats. Who will get better job, bigger salary, more kids, prettier wife or richer husband? Whose chances will fail, and who will pick only what is left?

Jessica wanted Colin since they were kids. Jessica followed him everywhere but he thought about her as cool school mate. She was watching him with many women, and she was never one of them. One night he was drunk and they slept together. Then, she was in relation with Sharon, his biggest love. Jessica did all to ruin that relation, she bragged about night with Colin. Result was not as she expected, because even Sharon left Colin, he did not want to start relation with Jessica. Even more, he started to despise her. They never talked again.

Even word defeat sounds as label for losers, sometimes is better to let it go or give up, than to make one of Pir’s victories. For example, imagine that you steal someone’s car. Later, you noticed that car needs many repairs and that missing parts are expensive. Also, police might catch you. In private area this kind of victory is more painful. Mistress ruins someone’s marriage but her lover’s kids hate her. They make her life unbearable.

“I wish it never happened. ” “If i can back on the beginning, i would never do this. ” This is description of this useless victory. Our vanity will despise victories without results. If you are woman, you want to push away more beautiful woman. If you are man, you want to compete and win in race with richer man. Our ego will declare war to Pir’s victory because that is wasting of time.

If you are Pir’s vinner , you probably do next things:

You date with girls whose are rejected by other men.

You eat food out of deadline.

You work on jobs which others avoid.

You collect things which other throw into garbage. 

One of the points in victory is that you will never accept comfort and remains. You are not little kid who will smile after big guy gives him piece of chocolate.

Did you stuck in love triangle?

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Where is passion, there is a problem. Some people like to sit on two chairs until they fall down. Man and two women, woman and two men, problem is the same, because it is hard to decide who will be winner in this game.

Few things are for sure:

1. person who has two partners is selfish

2. someone will get hurt

3. you can’t love two people in the same way

4. it is big possibility to stay alone at the end

There are words you can hear as an apology, from people who are guilty for love triangles.

“I want that all women are mine. ” “I could not decide.” “I love both.” “I did not want to lose nobody, so i have relations with both.”

Creator of love triangle is very busy person. Marriage and kids on one side, and wild life with mistress on other side. Also that person is very manipulative, it is hard to leave him/her. Sweet words are the main weapon. Imagine that man. He will be very gentle to his wife, buy flowers and chocolates and perfumes, take his kids to school, and his wallet will be always open for their wishes. And he will escape on romantic journey with his mistress.

When you stuck in love triangle, you have all in your hands to make things perfect . You have no enough time for conflicts with your partner, you can avoid troubles because you are too busy . And you will give hope to both. Man says to his mistress “i will leave my boring wife”, and to his wife “i will get rid of her, she was just an adventure.” He is fooling both.

 

Also the woman can be in the same situation. Working woman, she has loyal husband and kids at home, and passionate affair with her boss or her business partner. She has everything, and they have just half of her. It is very hard to deal both relations in the same time, because each of your partners will ask time for himself.

What is interesting here, basic person in love triangle is very hot and interesting because he or she will give only pieces of heart and time. This smells as aphrodisiac and wake up many desires, because you have feeling that you are eating, but still you are hungry.

 

As triangle exists with 3 persons as basic, it can break very easy. Someone get bored or someone is tired of waiting. Someone get hurt because in this situation person is spending too much time alone for holidays, birthdays, all important events in life.

The owner of love triangle can easy stay alone, because fooling two persons is a risk. Mistakes happens and it will finish with two breakups or one, if you get lucky that one of partners forgive you this adventure.

Make your triangle better as circle between you and your only partner. Or stay alone and pull yourself until you wake up.

When you leave love triangle, you are still dealing with causer.

Even if you remove consequences, in this case still causer is here. What makes you to do this? Are you get bored? Are you addict of adrenaline? Are you capable to love partner or something missed in your relation?

Ways of love are strange and some will forgive this trip in unknown area. Some relations and marriages will be more firm after affair. Some will never recover.

Who is emotional slut?

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Emotional burden on your heart is not easy to handle. This moment when you feel bitterness  something in you wish to share it with others. Your hand will grab cell phone to call friend. “Now, something is urgent, i must tell you what happened to me. ”  You will say what’s bother you to your best friend, then to your second best friend and to your work mates, your relatives, maybe some passengers on the street too? If you act like this, you are kind of emotional slut.

Feelings are something sacred. If you feel ashamed because of something, if you crossed line of behavior, if you fall in love in someone who is not appropriate, you should be careful to whom you will say this. Now that is trap, because people will judge you or share to others. It is not the same when you say : “I love to drink hot coffee” or to say “I love tied hands when i make love. ” 

When some women complaint that guy did not call for next date, they need to return to their previous conversation.

Did you say something like this:

“My ex was moron. I recovered very hard from past relation.”

” I was promiscuous. I could not find the right one.”

“My ex was impotent. For me is sex very important.”

“I had HPV virus. From that moment, i am careful with whom i will go to bed.”

Men will avoid person who cannot control her reactions. If you see savior in man who is sitting in front of you, he will afraid and escape. It is not the point will you make love with him soon, the point is that you opened yourself too fast. Which details stayed hidden? If he knows all about you in half hour, he will not call anymore, because he heard enough.

The real image of emotional slut is person who open internet profile and talk about details from her love past. Once i saw profile of model, beautiful girl who talked about her ex boyfriends, to leave her alone. She exposed their names and wrote : “Leave my life. Stop follow me. “ She did not understand that she did opposite of her intentions. When you are mature person, you don’t react in public for something what is in your private inbox. On this way, she just feed them with attention. Nobody felt sorry for her, some were thinking  “what an idiot woman. ” 

There is no more interesting moment for man than waiting moment. He waits your statement about your feelings. When you give him pending time, when you are silent, he will know that you are worthy of fight. He waits that you tell him “i love you. ” If he knows all so fast, you will kill mystery. “Ok, she is crazy for me so i get bored with this. ” 

You can fix your slutty approach if you stop giving him attention. Turn him back and wait what will happen. It is not that the most beautiful women always win. Winners are those with most interesting personality. Try to imagine yourself on his place. What would you do when one guy would admit his feelings on first date? Or , if he tells about himself that he is tired of being abandoned and he asks for girl who will never leave him. Do you see big lash around your neck? The same is when you run for guy and expect from him to give you love back, just because you already love him.

Walk like gorilla man

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When guy is handsome, he will get certain privileges. Women will notice him, he will have big choice and in the case of broken heart he will heal faster. Well, there is plenty of fish in the sea, so this guy doesn’t want to waste time on pain, isn’t it? Also, he will take less efforts to seduce woman. Many of them are under his feet even when he winks to them. So, why would he bother to call woman, to pay her drinks, to wait her until she gives him positive answer? He has already offers on his desk, so it made him lazy.

I don’t wish to say that handsome men are bad guys. They have benefits by birth, so why to judge them? Well, if handsome guy has beautiful heart and strong, mature personality, you will get on lottery. He has whole package.

What i wish to wrote, is about handsome and rude guys. Are they rude because they are handsome, so they turn to extremities, or they would be rude even if they are ugly? I call them gorilla men.

I met many gorilla men during my life. When i was teenager, i shown photos of my ex, bad boyfriend to my friend. She said: “Yes, he is rude, but  handsome so he can afford this. ” Wow, that was apology for his bad behavior, but that girl gave example of women attitude. What makes guy rude, that are women in the role of sheep.

Imagine situation when handsome guy appears on internet. Sexy photos, big ego and many women are around him. When you see guy with big number of friends, it is very important how he treats them. If he is flirting with every woman, guy is trash. As long women accept this, he is king. Then, one day he met woman who will not fall on this corny charm. He doesn’t want to be part of this brothel. How he reacts? He offends her, and for him that woman is a prostitute, whore, frustrated lady, because he doesn’t swallow his strategy.

Men could live in eternal dilemma which role to play.

Macho man, gentleman or cuckold? Let’s try to understand them. It is not easy if woman offend them in publicity, because it ruins their reputation. Big macho is now down, because some woman replied him and made him miserable. If he forgives her, other men will consider him as cuckold. So, it is easier to be rude. Stay like this if you want to enjoy in company of stupid women. Sheep will follow wolf until he eats her. If you are gorilla man, ideal woman for you is uneducated, quiet, without attitude. She smiles to you and confirms your words, because you are master of universe.

Now, here is only one problem. This woman doesn’t make you excited. She is good at home, with dinner, when you came back drunk from party and you wish silence. She is good when you are tired from sex with your mistress. Well, with his kind of woman gorilla can survive. But, he will always have mistresses on other side, because they can satisfy his hunger. Gorilla man has simply life philosophy – mistress for sex, and innocent girl for marriage. Wife is boring, but safe. Mistress is interesting, but usually, whore.

Real gentleman is never gorilla man. Why some men are so popular in women company, but they never insult women?

You are real gentleman in this terms:

Your friends are different by nature. 

It means, you can deal with any kind of women. Educated, old, young, teenagers, grannies.

You gain respect to every woman, no matter is she pretty, ugly, old or young.

You allow woman to express different opinion, toward yours.

You make difference between your girlfriend and friends.

That means, you will not call every your female friend : honey, dear, darling, sweetheart. This words are for your girlfriend.

You never talk bad about your ex lovers.

Gorilla man is funny creature. He reminds on drunk guy at party. He is invited, but he breaks all glasses, swears, he is rude toward guests. At the end, host will kick him out. That is result of his behavior. You might be first in your village, but beware when you try with girls in big city. You might die hard.

I remember my friend’s story. He went to the club with local gorilla man. They went into capital. Gorilla was never there, and he tried his corny strategy, to hug every girl and buy beer for her. It was very unpleasant, because girls pushed him away. They were not interested for gorilla, because club where they went was full of independent women who already had their friends and boyfriends. Gorilla almost got kick in his ass. He was very upset, because in his village every woman fall on his charm.

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

What happens when your partner has double standards?

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Things which you allow to yourself are also allowed to others. For example, if you drink beer, you will not judge your friend because he is drinking beer. If you wear short skirt, you will not gossip your friend because her skirt reveals her underwear. We are humans, and sometimes we move our limits into unknown directions.

Double standards are the worst failures in one relation. Although you are jealous person,  it will not stop you to flirt around. Handsome colleague from work, your charming boss, your sexy neighbor, even this new salesman, they are all opportunity for flirting. Now, you have husband, and your business is to play role of private agent, by digging into his pockets. Does he cheats you? Maybe his schoolmate is also partner in his bed. He can’t do this to you. Now, when he asks you, why you are blinking to all handsome men , you will say “But that is my right.”

Things are always different from  selfish perspective. It doesn’t look such bad when you are doing something what is not appropriate. If you are boss at work and if you skip deadline because it was not your day, this is something which must be forgiven and forgotten. Well, what if your worker do the same thing? You would yell as lunatic, they would be fired without recommendations.

Where are roots of double standards?

Person is spoiled in childhood. Some parents will let all to their children, they will not have limits, as they had many toys and they took rights to play with other dolls and teddy bears, they will play with other feelings, but their space will be locked and protected.

Person is selfish. When you are selfish, you can’t feel mercy or guilt or responsibility for others. You don’t give a shit for other problems, because it is not about you.

Person is old fashioned. This happens in men world. Some men think that meaning of real man is real boss. So, he can cheat, flirt and break hearts, but his beloved wife will wait him at home, with warm dinner.

Person is coldblooded. If you are not sensitive, you will not hear what others want to say to you. You cannot feel that you harm someone, that someone is crying because of what you did. This is not a part of your program.

Double standards make confusion in every love relation. This is discrimination of rights, because one person will take everything and other half will be prisoner, in invisible cage.

When Chad and Kurt talked about some girls, they made good example of double standards.

Chad said: “Mona is a slut. She was kissing me at first date, second date i fucked her and what to do later?”

Kurt asked him: “But why did not you tell her that you don’t want this?”

Chad replied: “What, i am not crazy. I like to use sluts for hot sex. I will not marry her. If she can’t get it, she is also stupid.”

If you are victim of double standards, check your priorities. Maybe you stuck with someone who holds the key of your freedom. Now you can’t talk with friend, tomorrow you will not have permission to get out from your house, and next day your windows will be locked, for any case.