5 types of people you should avoid at social networks

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Social networks are relaxing place if you share your time with good people. Stranger from internet could be more interesting than your colleague at work or boring neighbor who knocks at your door every day. Another traditions, exotic countries and different views are real refreshment in boring daily schedule. Unfortunately, internet is not always place for enjoyment, so you can fall in trap of some freaks who forgot line between reality and virtual space.

This 5 types of people you should avoid and press NO button for friend request:

Spammer. This kind of person will spam your wall with tags and inbox with messages. He is not here for friendship, he desperately catch attention. Especially is odd when such person start to share your personal photos around, without your permission.

Lover boy. This person is hungry for love and sweet words fly over your page as butterflies, but also you can see the same story in other pages. Sweetie, darling or honey are his daily inspirational words.

Pervert. He is big fan of porno photos and videos and he can embarrass you in publicity, because naked bodies are his hobby. 

Hater. He hates everyone and world is undesirable place, accord him. He will ask for conflict and fight in every opportunity. When such person is leaving, everyone will be considered as idiot or jerk, because everyone hurt him badly.

Lonely soul. Yes, this is kind of person who yells “add me” in every group, because people must add him. Otherwise, he will open fake page and threat you why you did not accept his nice offer for friendship. 

Even every social site has block button, you are not finished once when you block unpleasant person. He or she can open another page or gossip you around, or even try to hack your account, because you did not want to hangout with them. Some cultures are not based on rejections, for them is rude to say NO, and they will hard understand that you pick your friends.

Internet offered exit for every lonely person on this Earth, but some of them mixed reality and dream. Even when you add someone who is not accord your standards, you can soon regret this, because such person will ask daily chat with you and you will have stone around your neck.

Virtual space is not substitute for reality. This is bonus , additional gift together with reality, vacation with keyboard. If your workplace allows access to social networks, you will join to some site to get rest from daily pressure. Maybe you will rather exchange your experience with strangers than drink coffee with your idiot boss or boring cooperators. Person with healthy and sober mind should understand boundaries, that you can’t ask your virtual friend about their ages, statuses or personal life, if she or he feel uncomfortable.

Word choice is magical word but some people on internet are deaf , because they see only what they wish to see. Extreme cases will call you bad person, because you ignored their messages or blocked them, after annoying virtual treatment.

If you are lucky to meet alive person from internet, your perception will be complete and maybe you will find new friend. In any case, limit your expectations. People from internet are not fairies or magicians, they can’t change your reality or pay your bills.

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Are you loser between winners?

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If you have mentality of winner, you will wish full taste of victory. In this case you are aware that victory is not just an opposite from defeat, this is indeed confirmation of your strength. If your rival is weak, injured and dead, if he lies on the floor, it is not funny to hit him. Who wants to play with dead dog? Who wants to make final kick in open target ?

I will use sport dictionary, so if you play tennis, Novak Đoković would be the most desirable opponent, and if you are footballer , Barcelona and Real would be big snacks for you. Victory as David against Goliath is crown of victories, so try to prove that you can push the biggest from their thrones. When Pir, king of Epir, won battle in Rome, he said that he doesn’t need this victory, because more victories like these will make them lost. He got much damages and this victory was similar to defeat.

We are competitors to each other, our life is made from victories and defeats. Who will get better job, bigger salary, more kids, prettier wife or richer husband? Whose chances will fail, and who will pick only what is left?

Jessica wanted Colin since they were kids. Jessica followed him everywhere but he thought about her as cool school mate. She was watching him with many women, and she was never one of them. One night he was drunk and they slept together. Then, she was in relation with Sharon, his biggest love. Jessica did all to ruin that relation, she bragged about night with Colin. Result was not as she expected, because even Sharon left Colin, he did not want to start relation with Jessica. Even more, he started to despise her. They never talked again.

Even word defeat sounds as label for losers, sometimes is better to let it go or give up, than to make one of Pir’s victories. For example, imagine that you steal someone’s car. Later, you noticed that car needs many repairs and that missing parts are expensive. Also, police might catch you. In private area this kind of victory is more painful. Mistress ruins someone’s marriage but her lover’s kids hate her. They make her life unbearable.

“I wish it never happened. ” “If i can back on the beginning, i would never do this. ” This is description of this useless victory. Our vanity will despise victories without results. If you are woman, you want to push away more beautiful woman. If you are man, you want to compete and win in race with richer man. Our ego will declare war to Pir’s victory because that is wasting of time.

If you are Pir’s vinner , you probably do next things:

You date with girls whose are rejected by other men.

You eat food out of deadline.

You work on jobs which others avoid.

You collect things which other throw into garbage. 

One of the points in victory is that you will never accept comfort and remains. You are not little kid who will smile after big guy gives him piece of chocolate.

Did you meet emotional vampire?

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Imagine that you are sitting in your favorite chair, in warm room and you are ready to watch your favorite movie. You have popcorn, coffee or juice and you feel relaxed after hard working day, and your beloved partner is next to you. Suddenly your cell phone rings and this is beginning of nightmare.

Crying voice: “Hello, this is me. Am i disturb? You know, Leo again insulted me. He said to me that i am fat and old. He will leave me..do you think he will leave me?”

Deep sigh, because this is million times that your friend is calling you and interrupt your peace with the same story. Indeed, such people don’t need friends. They need a shrink.

They are emotional vampires. This kind of person will not drink your blood, but he or she will spend your nerves and your time. This creatures are so resistant and denial has no way in their heads.

This is monologue.
Usually it looks like this:

“Oh, you are busy? What are you doing? When you will have time for me? Oh, did not you said that you are free now? I know you hate me. Everybody hate me. It would be better that i die. Everyone will relief.”

It is not necessary that you must be close with this person. You can meet such vampires in bus stations, at work, at dentist, in shopping center. That are different places, but intentions are the same. Vampire wants that you are listening his or her problems. Vampire has no shame and no limits. If you are harsh, vampire will start to play a role of victim.

Oh, you are so rude. Your words break my heart really. You are selfish, i just wanted someone can help me. I hate you.”

 

 

Don’t feel responsible and don’t fall in this trap. If you see that  someone you know has such symptoms, don’t feel sorry. You have right on your free time and you are not vampire donor.

Every healthy relation is based on understanding and respect . There is a line. You are were not born to please other wishes anytime they want. Real friend will understand this, the same as every normal person on the street will not expose privacy to unknown people.

Yes, some people are unhappy, hungry for love and attention. But, more you ask for other compassion, people will runaway from you. Happiness and love come to those who are ready to accept this with healthy mind.

So you can continue to watch your favorite movie with your beloved partner because normal person will wait when you will be free for phone call.

Reality check and illusions

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People use to say: “You live in illusion. ” “You need reality check. “

What is indeed illusion?

Absence of real beliefs.

Flying on cloud instead of walking on the ground.

Too big expectations.

Impossible aims.

Reality check is cold shower, something what people need when they fly too high. There must be a difference between vision and dream. Vision is based on real expectation, but dream is based on imagination.

I wish to get marry for Brad Pitt. This is dellusional example.

I wish to buy new dress, which is too expensive for me but not impossible to buy.

Sometimes, people with manipulation skills will hold dellusional people in traps , because on this way they can feed their ego.

Woman X lives in USA. She promised man from Turkey that she will come to visit him. She delayed her arrival first for 6 months, then for a year. Then she said she will come in summer and later in winter. He is still waiting for her but she hesitates and wants to get on time. He is afraid to travel to see her so both are in ungrateful position. Their illusion is more beautiful than reality so they stick on safe ground of their dream because reality is insecure.

Did you stuck in kind of illusion?

How you deal with this?

These are consequences of life in illusion :

Awakening in tears.

Cuts of some connections which were based on dreams.

Loss of trust and confidence.

Loss of hope.

Black white insight on life.

Why people hold on their imaginary hopes, even deep inside they know it will not work out?

Well, i remember movie “The escape from Alcatraz. ” Man was painter, and he knew he will not get out from prison but he will make his life easier by drawing. When headmaster of jail took him his tools and material, he made suicide.

If you want to kill person inside, kill his dream. Kill hope that something is worth living or that some day will be better.

Reality check is not for all people, some are born to live in dreams because they don’t know how to walk on the ground. Mama’s boy will rather live with his mother than to ask woman to marry. Unemployed guy will rather sleep at home than ask for a job. Woman who is unhappy in love will rather hold on her problematic marriage or relation.

Illusions feed us, the same way as they made us damage. Who wish to get out from that poisoned circle must be aware that this is not healthy life.

I was in illusion that one friendship will last forever. Guy said me : “Life can separate you and your friend. ” He was in right, once when she gone in another city she never asked for me.

After you break illusion, there is something brighter. Empty space for someone special, for something special, but this time you wear safe glasses and you know where you will go .

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

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When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.