addiction · destiny · drama · egoism · erotica · lies · life · lovers · relations

Did you meet emotional vampire?

13133359_828491467257240_2798466130638025572_n.jpg

Imagine that you are sitting in your favorite chair, in warm room and you are ready to watch your favorite movie. You have popcorn, coffee or juice and you feel relaxed after hard working day, and your beloved partner is next to you. Suddenly your cell phone rings and this is beginning of nightmare.

Crying voice: “Hello, this is me. Am i disturb? You know, Leo again insulted me. He said to me that i am fat and old. He will leave me..do you think he will leave me?”

Deep sigh, because this is million times that your friend is calling you and interrupt your peace with the same story. Indeed, such people don’t need friends. They need a shrink.

They are emotional vampires. This kind of person will not drink your blood, but he or she will spend your nerves and your time. This creatures are so resistant and denial has no way in their heads.

This is monologue.
Usually it looks like this:

“Oh, you are busy? What are you doing? When you will have time for me? Oh, did not you said that you are free now? I know you hate me. Everybody hate me. It would be better that i die. Everyone will relief.”

It is not necessary that you must be close with this person. You can meet such vampires in bus stations, at work, at dentist, in shopping center. That are different places, but intentions are the same. Vampire wants that you are listening his or her problems. Vampire has no shame and no limits. If you are harsh, vampire will start to play a role of victim.

Oh, you are so rude. Your words break my heart really. You are selfish, i just wanted someone can help me. I hate you.”

 

 

Don’t feel responsible and don’t fall in this trap. If you see that  someone you know has such symptoms, don’t feel sorry. You have right on your free time and you are not vampire donor.

Every healthy relation is based on understanding and respect . There is a line. You are were not born to please other wishes anytime they want. Real friend will understand this, the same as every normal person on the street will not expose privacy to unknown people.

Yes, some people are unhappy, hungry for love and attention. But, more you ask for other compassion, people will runaway from you. Happiness and love come to those who are ready to accept this with healthy mind.

So you can continue to watch your favorite movie with your beloved partner because normal person will wait when you will be free for phone call.

business · career · character · crises · depression · illusion · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · relations

How to gain respect from people?

549059_502030253165768_952996998_n

There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

behavior · cyber space · erotica · illusion · infidelity · jealousy · lies · life · lovers · loyalty

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

CdmFiLsXIAAZyu2

When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.

behavior · business · character · crises · depression · life · luck · prejudices · psychology · relations

How you deal with obstacles in your life?

When you have to deal with problems, usually you will get advice: “Be strong.” Our characters are different and we will handle our hard moments on different ways.

 

Someone will cry and breakdown is possible.

You pass through tough breakup or divorce? You will need hand, but the main decision is on you, how you will handle this situation. If you are strong person, you will not ring on the door of your friends every time when you feel sad and when your ex is missing you. Very important part is your pride. Face it with problems because they will not run away over night.

Life can be as earthquake, ground is shaking under your feet when bad things start to ruin your safety. Time of crises is an explosion. Bomb is here, your life will crush, you will collect small pieces , behind of you is sound of rattle and you are lost. Strong person will consider this situation as challenge. Well, life is testing me, so let me see how i can deal with this. I am fighter, so my odds are not big, but i am in the game. That moron left me and i will find better guy. In fact he do me a favor. I had no power to leave him, but i will be enough strong not to call him back.

If you are weak, you will think about suicide, because for you now is end of the world.
I will not love anyone as i loved him, he was everything to me and my life is over, so i will start to plan my funeral. This pathetic elegy is the main problem of weak people, they give up even they still have chance to fix things. We can see this difference in childhood. Little weak boy lose in monopoly game. He will cry, he is furious and next time he will not play, because he afraid of defeat. His friend is brave guy. He will also lose, but he can’t wait next time. This is adrenaline, challenge. He is very happy to get this kind of revenge. Now i will smash him and i will win, this is how he thinks.

 

When you got bad mark at school, will you give up from studying? Let’s leave school, all this is shit and i don’t want to bother anymore. Or, you will prove to teacher that you are not idiot. You are candidate for excellent mark next time.

 

Life is not fairy tale. If anyone thinks that life is just unwrapped gift, that person is very wrong. We can see in movies that some people can get anything because they are benefited, powerful or simply lucky. This is not realistic view. Behind every victory and happiness is a background. If you dig into other’s life, you will see pain, grief, struggle. Ask reach businessman how he gets success. His money doesn’t come from the sky right into his hands. It was hard battle, and way to success was full of thorns.

Darwin said: “Only the strongest survive.” The strongest people are not those who are over 100 kilograms weight . They are not wrestlers or kick boxers. Real strength came out from clear mind. You might beat everyone if you are resistant, if you don’t give up and if you believe in yourself. If someone thinks opposite, make a challenge. Real fighter will respond on your challenge. Coward will hide in the rat hole and eventually, he will gossip you behind your back.

behavior · character · cyber space · internet · jealousy · life · men · relations

Which categories of men you should avoid?

CeLDR17UAAAkBWv

 

Some men will always walk away with short sleeves from love relations. It is not that they are cursed, ugly or stupid, they are not even poor. Simply, they are in category which is hard to love and women will runaway from them as they are diseased.

I was doing small research between men i know, with different statuses. Interesting thing is, the men who were in relations in past are just temporary alone, and soon they will find new love. They get out from relation, they are between two relation or in front of marriage. That are privileged members in x group. The other group are men who are single a long  time, and they are always rejected. These are members of y group. Between x and y, women will always choose x group.

Members of y group, men on black list:

Narcis. Type of man who is in love in himself. Handsome, elegant, but still alone. Women are avoiding him, they considered him as dull.

Cleaner. Man who lives alone, he is used to do all housework for himself. Flat is clean as drugstore, he cooks as master chief and his guests must follow his order. Women said that he doesn’t need partner. Who would clean and cook better than him?

Nerd. He knows all about computers, he is kind of geek, but his conversation doesn’t go further. Everyone yawn in his company.

Pussy boy. Man who has voice as woman. Sound of his voice is mix of Susan Boyle and Justin Bieber. It is nobody fault if his voice doesn’t have good sound, but you can help yourself with ice cube or smoking. Women like deep male voices. Or at least pleasent whisper, not screaming boy.

Gigolo. He will hunt only rich women, because he is without job. He needs financial support.

Man without standards. If you see guy in nightclub who is going from one woman to another and offer them beer, he is desperate to catch anybody. And woman can’t feel special. 

Virtual freak. Man who is behind his computer all day. He doesn’t know what kind of weather is outside.

Son of his mother. Your biggest rival will be his mother. He lives with her and he will probably still live in the same flat till the end of his life.

Pupil. That kid doesn’t have clue what to do with women. He expect teacher or nanny.

 Cdh7SvWXIAAyisB

Another group, with x members, was more successful.
Accord fact i know and stories i heard, they are in relation or married.

Financial independent men, with own flat and own job.

Men with life experience. If he knows what to do with women, they will have easier job. 

Rebels. Guys who are able to say no to social requests. Rejection in right place and on right time is always sexy.

Bodyguards. Not professional as David Hasselhoff or Jason Statham, but woman can lean on them if she falls into trouble.

Potential husbands

That man talks that he wish to marry one day. If guy denies marriage all the time, he is not desirable candidate for relation. Someone who talk about marriage as ebola cannot be good partner for common life.

Guys who can make you smile. Good sense for humor is hot stuff. It is very sexy when you have man besides you who knows to cheer you up.

The point is, there is no guarantee for love. You can be perfect and you will still be alone. But, if you have thousand failed attempts behind you, it is time to research your reasons. Change your perspective and reveal why women is avoiding you.

Typical example of speech which will use desperate guys:

“My life sucks. I am so poor. I will never find true love. In fact i hate women. I stopped to believe in love because women are liars. They are devils . The only purpose is sex and after that nothing else left. You did not reply on my message. You are so rude and bad girl.”

Desirable man will say this:

“I can’t promise you fabulous love story but i love to risk and if you dare to take challenge, try with me. What are your plans for tonight? “

behavior · cyber · ego · life · lovers · relations · romance

How i understand love?

08.02.15 - 1

I never liked sentence : He is the air that i breath. We talk on one mouth. He is my eyes and my ears.

Even it sounds wonderful to have such connected soulmate, i love to read behind lines and hidden notes are not so romantic. If he is the air you breath, it means you can’t breath independent. You can’t walk without leash and you can’t see more than he wants to show you.

Healthy relation is connection between two strong, independent minds. I love my partner’s differences. I love his freedom space, i love his silence even he doesn’t want to let me into his world. I found this as adrenalin, as challenge and i wish to dare. I offer something for return, i offer my hot temper and my wish for arguing. Even we sound as two lunatic, one numb and other mad hater, we will never get bored. I will try to smash his wall, and he will try to watering my fire.

Sometimes it looks like it is third world war between us. We hate each other, we try to destroy all nice between us. Or we just run from boredom, because boredom is love killer?

I love periods of harmony cause it sounds sweeter after big battles. My sword is getting cold and his bullets are in the fridge. Or we make sex pause and this war continues between sheets.

How i understand love? I see love as the biggest level of challenge, as battle, but also as special garden for only two plants. This plants can grow everywhere, but not to ruin ground where they are growing. This plants are not limited.

This love starts with discussion and finish with act. This contact start with critics and finish with kiss. This conversation starts with silence and finish with scream.

He is dangerous but never boring to me. For me, the biggest danger is boredom. After door closes, the last i want to see is yawn face. Even if he insults me, it will prove me that he is still into me. Dead rattle is the worst, so that is how i see love, when partner pinch you and use needles, but after this he uses bandages to heal your wounds.

As someone said to me : “You really have no peace. Wild spirit, hard to obey. Like wild horse, and it is interesting to hangout with wild horse. “

communication · couples · crises · destiny · drama · flirt · jealousy · life · lovers · relations

Did you try to refresh relation with your ex?

Ways of heart are strange  and love is unpredictable phenomenon. We can love same person twice because first time maybe we were not ready and mature enough to realize that is true love. Sometimes, couple will split and then make reunion again after a while because they missed each other too much and something left unsaid.

When is it possible, on which way you can fix your broken relation and start again?

Think about what separated you in past.

Reasons might be : 

 

if your partner went in another city and you meet him after some time, if you are both still single

– if you were both too young and your relation broke , so you can meet again in mature ages

– if tradition, religion, parents did not approve your love, you can split temporary or hide, then it is possible to continue relation in other circumstances

 

Just, be careful if you want to be together with the same person again.

That person can use fake reasons to misguide you for his selfish purpose.

For example in this cases:

you were poor, now you earn big money

 

– you were the one who broke relation, now your ex partner wants to get revenge

 

– that person just want to make someone else jealous

– that person is lonely and he doesn’t have anyone new in his mind, so he tries with safe option

Relations are as mirrors. Once they broke, you can fix them, but you still see through cracks. Also, the same mistakes are not allowed anymore, because every time you say or do something what broke your trust, it will be flashback. Oh no, you did it again? He is again turn around every time when pretty woman appears? She again spent your money in shopping without ask you permission?

Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor were twice in marriage. This famous couple passed through split and reunion, they split again but she was love of his life. They were proof that love is not enough.

The same happened to Sienna Miller and Jude Law, they split and they were together again, but they were not meant to each other.

When you start new relation, you are without burden because everything is new.

You will be more relaxed with someone who is unknown for you and for your heart. But when you start relation with same person twice, you are nervous, because it is like you are reading the same book twice. Maybe you missed something important so you did not understand the point?

 

That is individual, and everyone can try. If it doesn’t work again, remember why this happened. Problems which appeared for the first time are still here, in second form, because you can’t still solve this. That is the reason why you stuck in abyss and there is no way out.

behavior · character · energy · envy · freedom · lies · life · relations

Are you aware how people feel after insults?

C5G-_5AXAAAcTMo

The power of spoken word is endless. If you use hard words, someone will be hurt. Yes, every insult can cut you as knife and you will heal wounds for a days. Especially if that insult comes from person who is important to you.

Sometimes we are full of anger and rage. This anger flame is spreading like a virus, and we will say something ugly, maybe we did not think so, but in the moment when ugly word finds the way out, damage is done.

 

Patrick said something what he should not say. He had wonderful friend, he started to feel something for her, and she response on his feelings, but then they had conflict and Patrick acted like spoiled kid. He offended Jenny with his behavior. “You are silly, i laugh to you. You are jealous on other women.” Jenny just passed him info about his girlfriend , she found as duty to forward him what she knew, that his girlfriend is cheating him. Patrick broke up with his girlfriend but he got mad on Jenny. He even blamed her because she was messenger. Now is time of silence because Jenny doesn’t want to talk with him.

 

Insults are tools against vanity. We could have strong nerves, but everyone has a limit.

 

What kind of insults hurt the most?

bad words about physical look (you are fat, your legs are short, you have big nose)

– insults toward family (your mother is drunk, and your father is insane)

– insults about your financial situation (you are poor and loser)

– insults toward your partner ( your husband is idiot, your wife is slut)

It is easy to solve insults with fist. Black eye, blood from nose and here we are, that moron will learn on hard way. Also you can ask for an apology. Even press will notify readers about public apology, if they were published wrong details and info about famous people. Law of order and Criminal Law also have this options, public apology to damaged side.

If you can say i am sorry, i will not do it again, i regret, you will admit your mistakes. 
This is half way to correct your errors. When you are making an apology, you will do against your ego. That means, you are not the smartest and you did mistakes. Some people will never make apologies just because of ego. Why would someone admit anything he did wrong and show up weakness? It is better to stay bulletproof, even the price is high, that you can lose someone who was close and important to you.

It is not enough only to say – i am sorry. Oops, i did it again. My wife has black eye, i hit her, so i apologize from my heart.

 

When you apologized, what is next?

You will be careful not to hurt that person again.

You can buy flowers, make a compliment, take this person to dinner. Show your devotion with acts.

If that person will not forgive you, don’t be resistant. Wait for your chance .

Don’t force and cry. You did what you wanted to do. If person don’t have mercy for you, tears will not help you. Take it as lesson for next time.

Well mannered person will use words i am sorry, thanks, i regret. 
This is what your mother and father should teach you in childhood. This is not connected with ego or pride. Simply, when you are wrong, admit this. In business world you will write nice email with regards and with respect, and your business partner will accept this as part of your job. It makes you professional and people will have good impression about you. You should not be ashamed for fixing your wrong acts on this way.

Apology is as joker in your pocket. When all cards fail, apology is here as bonus. You can back into game if you apologize.

behavior · flirt · friendship · illusion · life · lovers · luck · psychology · relations

Who is your friend with benefits?

CbzZC-HVAAAD4qr

 

You are hungry for passion and you are not in relation? Relation is indeed obligation and it takes lot of attempts to find right partner. Sometimes we can be so busy that we have no time to focus on special person in our life, to reply on every SMS and every phone call, to support that person in the case of troubles or problems.

If we are not ready for relation, we must be honest. Here is an option if you don’t want to be alone but also if you don’t want to be bonded with someone. This solution is friend with benefit.

Samantha was excellent student, she was running for future career and education was her dream. She wanted to become successful lawyer. All her relations broke because she was so busy with exams, seminars and also she was working in library during her free time. Her partners felt that they are  unnecessary things and all gone from her life. This stressful life make her frustrated because she needed sex. She didn’t want to be promiscuous because of her reputation. So she had deal with her best friend Frank. From time to time, they had dates with sex. Frank was single, also not ready for obligations and he liked Samantha so they had casual sex once at week. But then Frank found girlfriend and Samantha became jealous. He was cheating his regular girlfriend with Samantha and that relation broke. Frank and Samantha involved feelings and they became real couple. This story had happy ending.

 

Melissa had no such luck. Her friend Ronald used her for sex, but she hoped it will be different. She realized after one year that it will never change, because Melissa was only sexual toy for Ronald. He was nice with other girls, but he did not know when Melissa has birthday, what is her’s sister name and so many things important to respect person. She took him benefits and broke that connection, with tears.

What is important if you decide to have friend with benefit?

check out is that person single

– accept that is deal only for sex

– don’t be jealous on his or her private life, your meetings are just for sex

– you can get out from that “relation” anytime, without explanation

– don’t judge or blame your friend with benefit, it was deal from the start

If you are not stable person, if you live in dreams or it is easy to deceive you, this kind of relation is not for you. This is game of nerves and your feelings must shut down. Even if that “relation” become something serious, it will not be with force or because you beg for real love. It will be spontaneous.

 

Think about that person, how much benefits he or she deserve , because you are master of your body. Also be sure that person knows to keep a secret, because some people are corny and traditional. Maybe your future partner could not accept that you had friend with benefit. Let it be your sweet secret.