addiction · destiny · drama · egoism · erotica · lies · life · lovers · relations

Did you meet emotional vampire?

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Imagine that you are sitting in your favorite chair, in warm room and you are ready to watch your favorite movie. You have popcorn, coffee or juice and you feel relaxed after hard working day, and your beloved partner is next to you. Suddenly your cell phone rings and this is beginning of nightmare.

Crying voice: “Hello, this is me. Am i disturb? You know, Leo again insulted me. He said to me that i am fat and old. He will leave me..do you think he will leave me?”

Deep sigh, because this is million times that your friend is calling you and interrupt your peace with the same story. Indeed, such people don’t need friends. They need a shrink.

They are emotional vampires. This kind of person will not drink your blood, but he or she will spend your nerves and your time. This creatures are so resistant and denial has no way in their heads.

This is monologue.
Usually it looks like this:

“Oh, you are busy? What are you doing? When you will have time for me? Oh, did not you said that you are free now? I know you hate me. Everybody hate me. It would be better that i die. Everyone will relief.”

It is not necessary that you must be close with this person. You can meet such vampires in bus stations, at work, at dentist, in shopping center. That are different places, but intentions are the same. Vampire wants that you are listening his or her problems. Vampire has no shame and no limits. If you are harsh, vampire will start to play a role of victim.

Oh, you are so rude. Your words break my heart really. You are selfish, i just wanted someone can help me. I hate you.”

 

 

Don’t feel responsible and don’t fall in this trap. If you see that  someone you know has such symptoms, don’t feel sorry. You have right on your free time and you are not vampire donor.

Every healthy relation is based on understanding and respect . There is a line. You are were not born to please other wishes anytime they want. Real friend will understand this, the same as every normal person on the street will not expose privacy to unknown people.

Yes, some people are unhappy, hungry for love and attention. But, more you ask for other compassion, people will runaway from you. Happiness and love come to those who are ready to accept this with healthy mind.

So you can continue to watch your favorite movie with your beloved partner because normal person will wait when you will be free for phone call.

couples · ego · jealousy · lovers · psychology · relations · romance · seduction

How to declare love without getting ashamed?

 

When pain comes out, that is easier part. You cry, scream or break plates and glasses, but this poison is far away from you and you are pure. Now this purity shines through your heart because you found a way how to throw your negative emotions. The same is with expression of love. If you said to someone i love you, no matter about answer, your conscience is clear.

What happens when you love someone who is forbidden to you? Grass is greener in other garden or your neighbor’s fruit is sweeter, so you will shut your mouth and deny your feelings, even to yourself. The same, if you think that your chances are small for any reason or if you want to date with your ex again, there is a chance to be ashamed later.

Is there a way to declare what you feel and not to get embarrassed? 

That is a cross of every man, how to tell women what they feel and not to hurt their pride. Some ways are sophisticated and their meaning is double. It helps you to save your dignity and to get positive result. If nothing else, you will get impression as cool dude.

Say it without words. Send her a photo at mobile phone. She will ask for a meaning and for a sender.

Send her romantic, mysterious message, without name. She will see number and maybe she will call you.

Help her with exam or with work project. If you shake her hand, and she hold your hand longer than it needs, she likes you.

Save her from pests and  stalkers. Girl will be grateful if you help her to get rid of annoying guy.

Borrow something from her, as an excuse. It can be CD, movie or a book. You will have reason to call her again.

Women nature is complicated. We will appreciate more if you approach to us easy, from background, because it makes guy mysterious, more interesting and harder to get. Guy who open his heart so easy is boring and women will not trust him.

For example, the same guy said to four girls that they are beautiful. Every weekend to another. They were friends, and they talked about him. His name was Roger.

  “Roger said that i am sexy. ” “Oh really, he said to me that i look so beautiful. ” “Yes, and he invited me on date, because he could not take eyes from me..at least he said this. “

As much guys have bad opinion about woman who change her sex partners, we women will think the same about man who gave a lot of compliments. Guy who sent mails on internet as chains, to all women. That guy who tag all women with word i love you. Or guy who will invite all his colleagues from work at office party, to make compliments for any of them.

Every woman wants to feel special, but also there is no woman who wish to feel as number. If you think about her all the time, let she knows. Maybe she will say no or maybe she will laugh. Maybe she will accept your love. Or maybe she will suggest you friendship.

The worst solution is to stay quiet or to date with woman who is your second choice. You will make double damage : to hurt her and to make yourself unsatisfied and frustrated.

In old times knights were fighting for honor of ladies and they even died in duel if someone offended woman of their heart. Today is no need for sacrifice, but you can use your imagination.  And remember: guy who is first, win the lady.

behavior · cyber space · erotica · illusion · infidelity · jealousy · lies · life · lovers · loyalty

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

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When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.

behavior · character · couples · egoism · erotica · internet · jealousy · lovers · men · relations

Are you in relation with robot?

 

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Painful experiences are our teachers, but also executioners. After someone broke your heart, you cry in silence of your room and then your mother or friends will tell you “I warned you.” You will say that nobody has label on forehead  with title “Bad guy”, but if you know to read between lines, some signs will tell you what kind of person is boy you fall in love.  Even you believe that nobody can’t be cruel if you show love to him,  progress of technology makes people different, and your beloved guy is maybe emotional robot.

The main problem of every teenage girl is how to make difference between guys who want to take an advantage and guys who take care for you. Even it looks so fine on first sight, suddenly moron broke you in pieces, and you did not recognize him.

Here is small guide for beginners, how to recognize emotional robots.

He will know his rights, but never his obligations. So, he will ask sex from you, but if you want to introduce him to parents, he will suddenly find million reasons not to do it.

He will not call you every day. He wants you sometimes, not always. 

When he wants you, and you reject him because you have no time, he will be furious. Then you will be guilty for everything, because you don’t run on his call.

He has a lot of female friends, with everyone of them he will exchange kisses, hugs, compliments, and if you show jealousy, you are idiot.

He will talk about your private details to his friends. Beware of this, because now days he can use your internet photos or videos against you.

Search his internet profile. If he has many naked or half naked girls, he is a hunter . You are not his exception, you are his number. 

If you are sensitive person, if you think with heart and not with mind, you are in big trouble. Rational girls always have better results. If you are person who doesn’t fall so easy, you will be desirable target but you will know how to deal with this because your priorities are different. You have friends, hobbies, work, and if your guy doesn’t fit, you will simply erase him from your life.

We can compare love stories now days and from the past. As technology is progressing, as we are surrounded by cell phones, tablets, laptops and all that miracles , with cable or wireless, we are getting colder and colder. Look at some couples when you visit coffee bars. He will write sms, and she will change statuses on her social network. After half hours they will remember that they came together to drink coffee.

In past, women had dance list of partners, men were singing under windows and they got many love letters. France poet Cyrano de Bergerac wrote love letters for fiance of his friend, because that friend wanted to impress her. If you ask modern guy to write you some sweet words, he will ask google or laugh, because that is so turn off.

Modern technology has influence on feelings, so people will act like robots. It is so easy to fall in love in internet and to delete person after you flirt with her. You can block her and you will spare yourself of tears.

New bad guys are not those who will hit you immediately or insult you on first sight.

Their methods are more complicated and sophisticated. They are emotional robots. That guy will send you virtual flowers and then you will see that he did the same to many women. You will get forwarded message about his flirting or some nasty woman will send you his message about you. Remember, that guys grew up in a way that they played video games . They are interested to reach higher level, and you could be their victim.

How to fit emotions in new age?

Be careful who is your virtual friend, don’t get close before you check him.

Remember, this is just computer and if you don’t meet him alive, you are safe from bad lessons.

Be silent if you know what kind of guy is he. Show poker face, he will not know what is behind your mask.

Modern guys don’t sing in front of your window, they don’t write love letters and they search google to learn how to declare love.

Your mother probably used to say before : “Beware of guys who paid your drink, beware of those who wants to slap your butt. ” Now days mothers will say : “Take care of guys in internet space, if they send you request and you never hear for them. ”

anxiety · cougar · cyber · destiny · erotica · lovers · relations · romance

Who is girl for one night?

 

On first sight one night stand looks ideal. No obligations, no promises, no tears. If both, man and woman decide about sex for one night, there is no complain later. Everyone should walk forward, without regrets.

Human heart is fragile thing and it is not always so simple. Maybe we can promise to follow the rules of this game, but shall we hold this promise after it happens? Our mind had a plan, but heart doesn’t follow that tips.

 

Here are some females reactions:

 

He did not greet me at the street.

– He did not call me, but he said he will call me.

– I saw him with another girl.

– He said that he is not ready for serious relation now.

– He said that i was just his comfort to get over ex girlfriend.

All is good when you are in the moment of passion, he kiss you like nobody before, you have so much pleasure, he whispers soft words in your ears, and you feel like his queen, like in dream. Then you woke up and fail on the ground. What a jerk, he has no feelings, he is an animal, moron and so on. But did not you deal with him? That is the worst part, when you promise something what you cannot hold on. That is in women brain, to make promises and to hope things will be different.

List of woman’s illusions:

 

1. i will be his best lover, after night with me he will leave his girlfriend

2. he just need a time for adjustment, i will wait for him

3. he has some problems and he can’t be with me now, but after he solve that problem, we will be together for a sure

4. he is too busy , i will have patience until he finds time for me

That is part of game of being easy or being hard. If someone date with you because of sex , sex will also be reason to break up when he please to his wishes. That is the point of one night stand, he will not listen your problems, because you are here to enjoy with him, not to discuss with him.

 

That is why flirts and relations are not the same. In flirt sex is the main part, but in real relations sex is one of elements. 

 

So if you accept one night stand, this is risk and you must be ready that you will never see that awesome person again. You can’t blame him or judge him because he disappeared. There were signs you did not want to see, and he was not obligated to stay. Mature women with experience will easier handle one night stand because life taught them that hot moment doesn’t mean eternal love. If girl is a virgin, and without experience it will be harder to believe that awesome guy is not prince on white horse.
He got what he wanted and he doesn’t need you anymore. You can dream about him or forget. Use it as lesson next time when someone try to repeat this adventure with you. There is golden rule : you can’t keep man who doesn’t want to be kept.

behavior · cyber · ego · life · lovers · relations · romance

How i understand love?

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I never liked sentence : He is the air that i breath. We talk on one mouth. He is my eyes and my ears.

Even it sounds wonderful to have such connected soulmate, i love to read behind lines and hidden notes are not so romantic. If he is the air you breath, it means you can’t breath independent. You can’t walk without leash and you can’t see more than he wants to show you.

Healthy relation is connection between two strong, independent minds. I love my partner’s differences. I love his freedom space, i love his silence even he doesn’t want to let me into his world. I found this as adrenalin, as challenge and i wish to dare. I offer something for return, i offer my hot temper and my wish for arguing. Even we sound as two lunatic, one numb and other mad hater, we will never get bored. I will try to smash his wall, and he will try to watering my fire.

Sometimes it looks like it is third world war between us. We hate each other, we try to destroy all nice between us. Or we just run from boredom, because boredom is love killer?

I love periods of harmony cause it sounds sweeter after big battles. My sword is getting cold and his bullets are in the fridge. Or we make sex pause and this war continues between sheets.

How i understand love? I see love as the biggest level of challenge, as battle, but also as special garden for only two plants. This plants can grow everywhere, but not to ruin ground where they are growing. This plants are not limited.

This love starts with discussion and finish with act. This contact start with critics and finish with kiss. This conversation starts with silence and finish with scream.

He is dangerous but never boring to me. For me, the biggest danger is boredom. After door closes, the last i want to see is yawn face. Even if he insults me, it will prove me that he is still into me. Dead rattle is the worst, so that is how i see love, when partner pinch you and use needles, but after this he uses bandages to heal your wounds.

As someone said to me : “You really have no peace. Wild spirit, hard to obey. Like wild horse, and it is interesting to hangout with wild horse. “

behavior · control · couples · drama · dreams · flirt · illusion · lovers · marriage · relations

What if your soulmate is already taken?

 

It is not rarity that we fall in love in someone who is already taken. Heart doesn’t know for status, so we will keep our feelings even there is no hope to realize that love. Also, this is question of morality, why to involve in other relation and hurt someone? It could also happen to us so let’s not do something what can hit us as boomerang.

Sometimes, this forbidden person is not in so happy relation and if we discover this, chances are bigger. Everyone knows about familiar story Brangelina, when Angelina Jolie seduced Brad Pitt even he was in formal marriage with Jennifer Aniston. If they were so happy, that marriage would last. There was a hole and Angelina passed through this hole.

People stay in some relations, not always because they can’t live without each other. Sometimes, they will afraid to be alone or to hurt their partners, so they will stay even it doesn’t make them happy.

So, when you meet someone who is already taken, and you wish to involve, develop next strategy:

Ask your friends do they know something about this marriage or relation.

If person send you signals, accept this and try to make close with him or her.

If you are involved in love triangle, ask your rights. It means, ask him to break his regular relation.

Don’t wait too long. As much you wait, your chances are smaller.

Take your time and choose moment, don’t let your partner to delay. Sometimes, owner of your heart will sit on two chairs and this status quo situation will be comfortable for him.

Norma was manual worker, in cotton factory. She was young, only 23, when she fall in love in his boss Sam. He was 20 years older than she, and married, about 10 years. He did not agree with his wife, they had no children and conflicts between them were unbearable. But, his wife did not wish divorce, because they were both rich and she did not want to lose her comfortable zone. Norma and  Sam get involved after 6 months, and his wife found out for them. It was rough time, but Norma did not want to give up. So finally Sam got divorce, after she accepted some financial terms. He gave car and flat to his wife and she let him go. Now days, Sam and Norma were married couple, with two daughters.

When couples split because of third person, they will accuse each other for betrayal or fraud. 
Indeed, if they break up, it is not because someone invades in other space. They simply lost interest or they did not work on relation. If they had much conflicts, or if they simply pushed their problems away, with time this relation will be just empty bag. Plans did not realize, they are disappointed and appearance of third person is just an alert.

In opposite case, if couples love each other, if they spend much time together and they are devoted, third person will be only stone on the road. They will hit that stone far away. Then status taken has sense, because it doesn’t include nobody else.

communication · couples · crises · destiny · drama · flirt · jealousy · life · lovers · relations

Did you try to refresh relation with your ex?

Ways of heart are strange  and love is unpredictable phenomenon. We can love same person twice because first time maybe we were not ready and mature enough to realize that is true love. Sometimes, couple will split and then make reunion again after a while because they missed each other too much and something left unsaid.

When is it possible, on which way you can fix your broken relation and start again?

Think about what separated you in past.

Reasons might be : 

 

if your partner went in another city and you meet him after some time, if you are both still single

– if you were both too young and your relation broke , so you can meet again in mature ages

– if tradition, religion, parents did not approve your love, you can split temporary or hide, then it is possible to continue relation in other circumstances

 

Just, be careful if you want to be together with the same person again.

That person can use fake reasons to misguide you for his selfish purpose.

For example in this cases:

you were poor, now you earn big money

 

– you were the one who broke relation, now your ex partner wants to get revenge

 

– that person just want to make someone else jealous

– that person is lonely and he doesn’t have anyone new in his mind, so he tries with safe option

Relations are as mirrors. Once they broke, you can fix them, but you still see through cracks. Also, the same mistakes are not allowed anymore, because every time you say or do something what broke your trust, it will be flashback. Oh no, you did it again? He is again turn around every time when pretty woman appears? She again spent your money in shopping without ask you permission?

Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor were twice in marriage. This famous couple passed through split and reunion, they split again but she was love of his life. They were proof that love is not enough.

The same happened to Sienna Miller and Jude Law, they split and they were together again, but they were not meant to each other.

When you start new relation, you are without burden because everything is new.

You will be more relaxed with someone who is unknown for you and for your heart. But when you start relation with same person twice, you are nervous, because it is like you are reading the same book twice. Maybe you missed something important so you did not understand the point?

 

That is individual, and everyone can try. If it doesn’t work again, remember why this happened. Problems which appeared for the first time are still here, in second form, because you can’t still solve this. That is the reason why you stuck in abyss and there is no way out.

drama · dreams · illusion · internet · lies · lovers · relations

What to expect from virtual relations?

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The biggest paradox of modern time is sharing our feelings with mechanic tools without emotions and expectation of love for return. Computer is our messenger, internet is our voice. Many people will fall in love through virtual space, where love makes various choices.
When you date with person who is available to you in reality, rules are different than in social networks.
As real couple, you will pass through usual problems, but conversation eye to eye will make things easier. This possibility is limited in virtual space, because you can’t touch person, sometimes even not hear or see , and your partner is a ghost.
As much how internet make strangers from people, in other hand it connect us with strangers. So in this situation, we are now strangers for our friends and family, and we connect with unknown people as friends, even lovers. This is double cross, because once when you give trust and confidence to person in virtual space, she will expect something from you.
Unhappy lovers on internet often ask, why virtual relations fails.
Especially, if love birds are from another countries, and why they must come through pain.
Why is virtual relation hard for partners?
If you live in other cities, even countries, money will be big obstacle.
You need to prepare full wallet for all expenses , with purpose of travelling and visiting your love.
 
You never know are you the only one.
Virtual network offers many possibilities, and if your John or Jack gives you heart, don’t be so sure that you are the only soulmate for him.
Jealousy makes new meaning.
You will think about likes or comments from other women. Is she only his friend or more?
You can’t check facts. You don’t know is that real name, ages,  nationality or real profession of your partner.
Recently, i read about story, young woman trade messages with man who had 63 years and grandchildren. She did not know this for 12 years.
 
You can’t expect from person to close all options, because you are far away.
If you think that guy who send you sweet messages will sit at home for weekend, you are wrong. He is maybe in hunting zone, in his real life.
Promises and realizations.
If you did not meet for real, you are not obligated to be faithful.
Some unhappy lovers will go so far, until revenge. Imagine that your virtual relations failed, you are tired from messages, web camera and what’s up, you wish to dance and kiss with man who is near you, and your lover is not available. Suddenly, your virtual lover can’t accept this and he decide to give you lesson.
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What to expect from discarded virtual lover?
If you wrote kinky messages to him, he can share with his friends.
 
He can share photos and videos around. 
 
He can block you because his heart is broken. 
 
He can gossip you to make your reputation bad. 
 
He can disturb to your friends and family, asking for justice.
 
 
Virtual lovers often forgot real basic. They lost in their dreams and fantasies, but real plans are the first thing which they should make. You should know with whom you are dealing. Foreigner , from another country is person with another habits, culture and tradition. Your values and his values could be very opposite.
Romina, as young Romanian girl met guy from Turkey, for chat. They talked 9 months and then she decided to visit him. It was successful meeting, they liked each other and she stayed there and marry for him. It was nice marriage, but she continued to chat with other men on internet. She is still married, but her marriage rocks, because she can’t stop flirting around. She claims that her husband is too conservative man and she did not know this until she met him for real.
Sometimes, friend option will be the best. If someone falls in love in you in internet, and he knows your status, he knows that he is not for you, it is not bad solution to stay friends. Friendship shows respect and loyality. This person appreciates you even you can’t be in love with him. It is cool to make friends from another countries and spread your views.
The funniest thing on virtual space is statement from unknown people, when you don’t want to talk with them or to accept them as friends. “You hurt me, why you don’t add me?” How someone could feel pain from person he never met? Pains enter from expectations, not from people. If you think that some strangers from internet space will be free for you every moment, you live in world of fairy tale.
Why virtual stories are ballads? There are lot of lies, many versions and masks. That is why virtual couples must talk face to face as fast that is possible. You can’t live in internet, to buy virtual flat and make virtual children, to marry and expect every night when your lover will be online.
Virtual story is great refreshment, as cocktail. After ice is melted, that is just warm water , with not so good taste.
couples · crises · drama · dreams · erotica · flirt · freedom · lovers · narcism · relations

Don’t be his option after he left you

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Two people will split after problematic relation, sooner or later. Breakup suppose to be an end, but is that really true?

You will see how much someone cared about you accord his behavior after breakup.

Three situations are possible :

If he is silent, if he doesn’t talk about you around, if he just greet you in the street, that was respectable relation. You could not agree with him, but you will not jump on each other like two wild beasts.

Breakups are not always civilized so you could be victim of harassment. He is calling you, stalking you, brag bad things about you, your private moments are now at internet, your friends know all details about your relation. Shortly, you have bad luck.

Third situation is the worst, because that is caught in the middle. He doesn’t want reunion with you, but he wants you as hidden lover.

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What this really means?

He will call you when he wish. Meanwhile, be silent.

He will not date with you in public. You are his secret.

He might has new girlfriend, but you should close eyes and wait him in hope to changes his mind. 

Now this is really big fall, from his priority until his option, but you love him and you think you will be together with him again if you show patience?

I would recommend you to show him teeth. It means, cut every connection which such guy who wish to drag you into gutter. You were couple, and now you will be his hoe?

If you ask me which crazy woman would accept this options, i know many.

Love is blind when you fall for someone and suddenly you lose him. He was yours, completely, but he chilled out, circumstances were bad, you were different, and he slipped from your hands.

I would say, let him go. If you must persuade him what he lost, i am afraid you will sink in your intentions to show your value.

Breakup is as dark, blind alley. There is no way out, this is final destination. Turn on and don’t come back. Person who cut connection must follow you and prove that here is still something left .

When guy has bad intention, he will treat his ex girlfriend as tool and toy, until something new comes out. Such guys are selfish. They ask fun in the middle, before new relation.

Respectable, honest man will spare you of this. He is not into you anymore, but he doesn’t want to humiliate you either. So he will say hello and how are you and that will be all. Thank you for playing, game over.