What is indeed romantic?

 

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Stereotypes develop from childhood. Differences between genders grow through traditional values , modify with time, but skeletons stay unchanged , no matter about fashion and progress. Let me remind you, if you gave birth to boy, what will you buy him as toy? Little car, ball or plastic gun? If you gave birth to girl, what will you buy to her? Doll, pink dress or flowers? As we made labels for seats, we also labelled women and men, to see why is something suitable, and why other things are not appropriate.

Ask random man what he would buy to woman. He will say : roses , if i like her. Red roses for love, white roses for appreciation, yellow roses for honor and friendship, and orange roses as sign of passion. Well, did you ask her, do you like flowers, anyway?

Some women will melt on first sight, when they get flowers. “Oh, how nice. He is real gentleman. ” Others will say : “What i will do with this roses, when they fade? I have no nerves to change water every day, besides, i have allergy. ” Despite of all , some men will treat women on equal way, and they will think that roses are universal recipe to capture woman’s heart.

Do you want drag woman to bed? Give her roses.

Do you want to make an apology because you hurt her? Give her roses.

You want to borrow money from her? Give her roses.

You want to say goodbye to her? Give her roses.

Poor flowers suffer from so much purposes, and the most funny part is when flower is artificial or not fresh. Faded roses at desk are dead nature, as artificial rose petals. Well, that is flower, who made difference, even it doesn’t smell nice?

Now, i bet everyone of you met granny with roses. If you visit coffee bars or night clubs, you have seen this creature. Old woman who wish to sell bunch of roses, because that is tradition, that is appropriate. Which kind of woman doesn’t want roses, she must be masculine or at least not well mannered.

When granny with roses approach to you and your partner, she is ready to manipulate. Now, see next scenario in your minds.

Your partner :  “Damn, i should buy her rose.  She will think that i am idiot without feelings. “

You : “If i don’t accept, he will think that i am not a lady. “

So, granny with roses wait to get her money. For sure, she plays on feeling of guilt. She spread poisoned arrows in both ways, to make couple guilty by default. Man buy rose, and woman smile and said : “oh, thank you dear. ” Granny puts money in the pocket.

I am not afraid to say that granny is promoter of bullshit. I saw many times old lady who was disturbing and annoying by her attempts to sell roses. Maybe you wish to whisper on your partner’s ear or kiss him, and she came between you to offer you rose , without respect to your privacy. Also, buying flowers should be spontaneous act. On this way, your partner is trapped. Maybe he spent last money on drinks, and now he must buy rose?

What granny with roses offer is far away from love and respect. She is selling product. She is kind of beggar, just not without money. Also, she is challenger, to check are you and partner on the same line. If you both agree, accept this flower. Well, if you not, send her to hell.

Women are caught in the network of rivalry. I got roses, you did not get. I am pretty, you are ugly. This funny circle is made of vanity, not from love. Roses which granny offered are faded, a long time ago. It just looks like sign of attention, this is indeed moral blackmail.

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Do you believe in love at first sight?

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She is very nervous because she has an appointment. She is walking fast and suddenly someone is on her way. What is even worse, coffee to go is in her hands. Suddenly here is crash, her head hit into head of handsome guy. She wanted to kill him, but their eyes met and that is the beginning of love story.

Such stories we can see in romantic movies. Love at first sight is connection between two strangers. It happens on way that sparks appear between them in one moment, even they never met before.

What is truth, and what is only legend in love at first sight? First, can we tell that we immediately love someone we recently met?

Eye contact can produce sparks, and if person of opposite gender is staring at you longer than is polite, you got new fan. There is statistic, you have four minutes to develop conversation between you and desirable person. If that conversation is short and if you need to drag words from his/her mouth, that person is not interested.

Women like to believe at love in first sight.

Why is this fairy tale so popular? 

Here are some reasons:

You don’t make much efforts to search for ideal partner. There is no need for calling, stalking, spy on him on internet or clubs or at workplace. He will just come one day in front of your nose.

Your love is written in the stars. So, just wait, it will for sure happen because that is destiny.

Your pride and ego are safe. Now is no need that you beg your friend to introduce you to someone, don’t need to ask phone number or to seduce guys with your short skirt or smell of perfume. He will come to you anyway.

You have good reason to be unavailable to anyone else. Now you are waiting your Prince charming , and everyone else has no chance. He will be recognized in your eyes.

Love at first sight is easy going event. No need for any obstacles, all will be perfect, you just relax and wait. What is indeed true?

 

 

You can feel physical attraction on first sight and there are many people who had sex for one night. This is energy, you want to do it. You simply like that person so you feel free to suggest that.

Real love will never develop for few minutes or for a short time. That is just good start, intro in something good to happen later. What will be next is not so predictable. You kissed him and that kisses were unforgettable, but will he call you again? How can you be sure that your meeting was so fatal that he will call you tomorrow?

In real love, we can’t be sure how this story will develop later. But, we will take a risk because person is worthy of try. Love is kind of silent deal, we will continue this, so let’s see about future. That is why is connection at first sight good kind of intro. You skipped all annoying procedures and now when you got certain signs, that is motivation for next chapter.

Some my friends said that in the start all was beautiful, and things went on wrong path later. How is it possible that prince “loved” you so much in first date, and later he chilled out? Love can’t fade over night, so we need to learn how to read between lines.

This feeling is similar as you were drunk. You will have dizziness, your face will blush, heart will skip a beat, and your voice will tremble. That is first love attack, it hits very strong. Later, things will change. After some time you will know is this real or not.

Don’t be so disappointed if things will not go as you expected. That is kind of carnival. Beautiful masks and dance, after people show real faces. Some are pleasant and beautiful , some are ugly. That is reality. So, when you catch some eyes on you, enjoy until it last and be ready for all options.

Status: bachelor

Magic of love connected them in few moments. Sparks are around this couple, and she felt that is time to settle down. She asked him important question: “Would you like to marry with me?”

Suddenly, fire balls stop to spread lights, and everything turn into ash. He is numb, because he has no answer on this question. If he accepts, he will sacrifice his sexual life forever. If he says NO, this gorgeous woman will be hurt. So he decided for diplomatic answer : “I am not ready to get marry yet. ” She heard only word “yet” and this was another flame to warm up her hope.

Bachelors are type of men who think that time is limitless. It is alright to be bachelor in 25, but what is in 35, 45, or even 55 year? Young guys, who just step up into this life are joking about marriage. They are cheerful because they grab every chance to please their wishes and satisfaction is in status single. As long you are single, or at least you are not officially married, all paradise is in front of you.

What are misleads about bachelor status?

I always have time. Life is indeed short.

I did not find right woman to get marry. She is maybe in front of your nose, but you don’t see it.

I will not have any obligations. Yes, you will, just you will wash and ironing your clothes alone. Or with a help of your mother, who is getting older every day.

I don’t want to spend my money on wife and children. Even worse, you will spend money on alcohol, gambling and lot of activities because you are getting bored.

I will always have lot of friends. Wrong. Your friends are getting married, every day you will have less and less free guys to have party with them.

When i will have 50, young gorgeous woman is waiting for me. Women are not stupid and also we have taste. If man is not extremely rich , women will not even look at him.

The main difference between single woman (or unmarried) and bachelor is in attitude of society. Unmarried woman is woman with deadline. She is not so desirable, if she is already 30 or 40. Her time for having children is passing, her body is not perfect, wrinkles are here and her circle of fans is getting smaller. Bachelor is more desirable. He is now more mature, he is earning his own money, he has flat and now he needs only future wife. Business circles will ask for status, because married businessman is better candidate than single man. Politicians will ask for family man with obligations. Also, magazines will have list of handsome bachelors, as opportunities for women.

It is very interesting how society will label man as bachelor, even he is in relation or in cohabitation. Only formal paper means that man is out of this race.

Recently, yellow press wrote about George Clooney who finally engaged with woman lawyer, so she was marked as woman who caught him. They said, she was unavailable to him and he fall on old trick.

What is a recipe to catch bachelor? 

Universal recipe doesn’t exist. That is man decision. He wants you or he doesn’t want you. You can use some old tricks, but finally choice is his. Celebrities have much bigger choice and they will be more hard to get. Ordinary men will try to find woman accord their standards. There is one fact, some men will never get married. Simply, they did not feel they are ready on time, and time passed so they are still alone. One thing is sure, if you feel that you are bachelor , tell it to your woman, she deserve to know the truth. Give her time to find someone who is ready to settle down.

Don’t be delusional about breakups

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Breakups, we all know everything about it. Someone kick you out from his life or you cut off someone from your life. That should be the end, isn’t it? Can you break up after break up? Like you bury the same dead man twice.

 

Abandoned person sometimes live in illusion that everything will again be the same. The worst part of this sad story is denial. What if person can’t let you go? Here comes the situation when you are smiling again, breath again without rock in your lungs, when you can walk without chains in your feet.  Suddenly, he appears again in every corner.

Even when he found someone else, he says “she is not like you, it is not the same”, but he doesn’t want to admit that he did wrong thing , he has no courage to start it again. He wants to sit on two chairs. One chair is safe, this sweet girl who will care for him and wipe his ass, and the other, this is you, the other who were challenge for him and he could not forget.

 

One of excuses is that you don’t fit into his life. You are not appropriate. I think that every guy who choose girl by his conscience, to please society, is very unhappy guy. When heart made choice, it will accept only one person as loving one.

World is full of people who got married because it was practical idea, it was wish of his mother, society or financial agreement. Who cares for the heart?

 

That kind of losers wants to have both, wild mistress and cute wife, so that they can please their wishes on both side.

 

I believe in old truth about love. The one who loves you truly will never stop loving you because of some interest, because it was not good time or his nerves were broken.

Love doesn’t recognize excuses, apologies, terms. You love or you not love. Every other feeling might be sorrow for something you missed, desire, unfilled dream.

So be careful when you love, and don’t make yourself or other person to play role of victim. Be brave and face it with love.

Real love is naked and simple. That is why we said “i love you.” Not “but i don’t know what to do, give me time, time will show”.

When you love someone, do not hesitate. There is word “not now”, and next following words are “too late.”

Did you meet perfect jerk?

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If you ask some women did they met Mr. Perfect, for sure there will be stories to tell. Who is Mr. Perfect and what he represents?

Do you remember guy who always have the most expensive clothes, fast car and all women are on knees, some of them are screaming when he appears because he is irresistible? Also, he is son of his father, rich entrepreneur who has factory, firm or some private business and he has everything to be proud of?

The problem with such guys is because many of them think world is under their feet, and they just need to grab this. Thomas is son of familiar local gynecologist and when some girl would get pregnant with him, he sent her to father, on abortion. He is not ready to have family, yet. Thomas really get bored because everything is too easy for him, on the palm. Sexy women, lot of money, many opportunities for job, and he is dying for challenge.

Another story comes out from Andrew. His father has apartments on the sea, few coffee bars and Andrew doesn’t need to work, he is just having fun in one of that bars, by teasing poor waiters who work for him. Every weekend Andrew finds woman for sex, when she is enough drunk, he takes her into his flat, which is near bar. Another day, Andrew pretends that nothing happened and he doesn’t reply on phone calls. One day he finished in bed with Iris. She was not type of easy woman, she spent days in studying for a lawyer, but one exam was very hard and she was very stressed. She get drunk in Andrew’s cafe bar. They had sex and as usually, another day Andrew did not notice her. Iris was hurt and she cried a lot, she called him on phone, and he replied after many calls, with one sentence : “I am rich, i can do what i want, so leave me alone. “

After one month two guys, friends of Iris, visited Andrew in his favorite bar, to speak with him. One of them said : “Listen jerk, she got pregnant and you are the father. So if you will not speak with her i will break your nose. ” Andrew was in fear so he called Iris to ask her what is going on, but she did not reply on his call. He had nightmare because she was silent next days, and her friends were watching him from every corner. Finally, Andrew approached her in night club.

They talked and Irish said to him : “Listen idiot, i am not pregnant, but you are piece of shit and this is lesson for you to learn about respect. Now, get out from my sight, because i don’t want to see you never again. “

What money can’t buy is clear conscience.
Andrew was so perfect guy, handsome , rich, popular, but he did not see nobody else except himself. From that day, he started to think different, because he felt unpleasant. Something rock his perfect world. Until then, he was main star with fun club.

When we think that we have everything, someone will remind us that we still miss something, especially if we are so cocky, selfish and superficial. Egomaniacs forget that wheel of fortune is spinning, and some day they may be on the bottom. Will they find way out to the top again ?

Did you meet emotional vampire?

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Imagine that you are sitting in your favorite chair, in warm room and you are ready to watch your favorite movie. You have popcorn, coffee or juice and you feel relaxed after hard working day, and your beloved partner is next to you. Suddenly your cell phone rings and this is beginning of nightmare.

Crying voice: “Hello, this is me. Am i disturb? You know, Leo again insulted me. He said to me that i am fat and old. He will leave me..do you think he will leave me?”

Deep sigh, because this is million times that your friend is calling you and interrupt your peace with the same story. Indeed, such people don’t need friends. They need a shrink.

They are emotional vampires. This kind of person will not drink your blood, but he or she will spend your nerves and your time. This creatures are so resistant and denial has no way in their heads.

This is monologue.
Usually it looks like this:

“Oh, you are busy? What are you doing? When you will have time for me? Oh, did not you said that you are free now? I know you hate me. Everybody hate me. It would be better that i die. Everyone will relief.”

It is not necessary that you must be close with this person. You can meet such vampires in bus stations, at work, at dentist, in shopping center. That are different places, but intentions are the same. Vampire wants that you are listening his or her problems. Vampire has no shame and no limits. If you are harsh, vampire will start to play a role of victim.

Oh, you are so rude. Your words break my heart really. You are selfish, i just wanted someone can help me. I hate you.”

 

 

Don’t feel responsible and don’t fall in this trap. If you see that  someone you know has such symptoms, don’t feel sorry. You have right on your free time and you are not vampire donor.

Every healthy relation is based on understanding and respect . There is a line. You are were not born to please other wishes anytime they want. Real friend will understand this, the same as every normal person on the street will not expose privacy to unknown people.

Yes, some people are unhappy, hungry for love and attention. But, more you ask for other compassion, people will runaway from you. Happiness and love come to those who are ready to accept this with healthy mind.

So you can continue to watch your favorite movie with your beloved partner because normal person will wait when you will be free for phone call.

How to declare love without getting ashamed?

 

When pain comes out, that is easier part. You cry, scream or break plates and glasses, but this poison is far away from you and you are pure. Now this purity shines through your heart because you found a way how to throw your negative emotions. The same is with expression of love. If you said to someone i love you, no matter about answer, your conscience is clear.

What happens when you love someone who is forbidden to you? Grass is greener in other garden or your neighbor’s fruit is sweeter, so you will shut your mouth and deny your feelings, even to yourself. The same, if you think that your chances are small for any reason or if you want to date with your ex again, there is a chance to be ashamed later.

Is there a way to declare what you feel and not to get embarrassed? 

That is a cross of every man, how to tell women what they feel and not to hurt their pride. Some ways are sophisticated and their meaning is double. It helps you to save your dignity and to get positive result. If nothing else, you will get impression as cool dude.

Say it without words. Send her a photo at mobile phone. She will ask for a meaning and for a sender.

Send her romantic, mysterious message, without name. She will see number and maybe she will call you.

Help her with exam or with work project. If you shake her hand, and she hold your hand longer than it needs, she likes you.

Save her from pests and  stalkers. Girl will be grateful if you help her to get rid of annoying guy.

Borrow something from her, as an excuse. It can be CD, movie or a book. You will have reason to call her again.

Women nature is complicated. We will appreciate more if you approach to us easy, from background, because it makes guy mysterious, more interesting and harder to get. Guy who open his heart so easy is boring and women will not trust him.

For example, the same guy said to four girls that they are beautiful. Every weekend to another. They were friends, and they talked about him. His name was Roger.

  “Roger said that i am sexy. ” “Oh really, he said to me that i look so beautiful. ” “Yes, and he invited me on date, because he could not take eyes from me..at least he said this. “

As much guys have bad opinion about woman who change her sex partners, we women will think the same about man who gave a lot of compliments. Guy who sent mails on internet as chains, to all women. That guy who tag all women with word i love you. Or guy who will invite all his colleagues from work at office party, to make compliments for any of them.

Every woman wants to feel special, but also there is no woman who wish to feel as number. If you think about her all the time, let she knows. Maybe she will say no or maybe she will laugh. Maybe she will accept your love. Or maybe she will suggest you friendship.

The worst solution is to stay quiet or to date with woman who is your second choice. You will make double damage : to hurt her and to make yourself unsatisfied and frustrated.

In old times knights were fighting for honor of ladies and they even died in duel if someone offended woman of their heart. Today is no need for sacrifice, but you can use your imagination.  And remember: guy who is first, win the lady.