Who is your friend with benefits?

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You are hungry for passion and you are not in relation? Relation is indeed obligation and it takes lot of attempts to find right partner. Sometimes we can be so busy that we have no time to focus on special person in our life, to reply on every SMS and every phone call, to support that person in the case of troubles or problems.

If we are not ready for relation, we must be honest. Here is an option if you don’t want to be alone but also if you don’t want to be bonded with someone. This solution is friend with benefit.

Samantha was excellent student, she was running for future career and education was her dream. She wanted to become successful lawyer. All her relations broke because she was so busy with exams, seminars and also she was working in library during her free time. Her partners felt that they are  unnecessary things and all gone from her life. This stressful life make her frustrated because she needed sex. She didn’t want to be promiscuous because of her reputation. So she had deal with her best friend Frank. From time to time, they had dates with sex. Frank was single, also not ready for obligations and he liked Samantha so they had casual sex once at week. But then Frank found girlfriend and Samantha became jealous. He was cheating his regular girlfriend with Samantha and that relation broke. Frank and Samantha involved feelings and they became real couple. This story had happy ending.

 

Melissa had no such luck. Her friend Ronald used her for sex, but she hoped it will be different. She realized after one year that it will never change, because Melissa was only sexual toy for Ronald. He was nice with other girls, but he did not know when Melissa has birthday, what is her’s sister name and so many things important to respect person. She took him benefits and broke that connection, with tears.

What is important if you decide to have friend with benefit?

check out is that person single

– accept that is deal only for sex

– don’t be jealous on his or her private life, your meetings are just for sex

– you can get out from that “relation” anytime, without explanation

– don’t judge or blame your friend with benefit, it was deal from the start

If you are not stable person, if you live in dreams or it is easy to deceive you, this kind of relation is not for you. This is game of nerves and your feelings must shut down. Even if that “relation” become something serious, it will not be with force or because you beg for real love. It will be spontaneous.

 

Think about that person, how much benefits he or she deserve , because you are master of your body. Also be sure that person knows to keep a secret, because some people are corny and traditional. Maybe your future partner could not accept that you had friend with benefit. Let it be your sweet secret.

He doesn’t care about your past if he is into you

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One of the most salty questions between women is about their sexual status. If you ask women do they masturbate mostly will say no and hide it from publicity. If you ask them about their fetish they will cover mouth with hand and say no. If you ask them are they promiscuous they will also say no. Here i am talking about representative , average woman as example . I was talking with many women on internet, from different countries, and despite of feminism, mostly women will not talk about their privacy unless they trust you as best friend.

If you ask women are they easy or hard target, of course every woman will say that she is not easy to get. What is the point is not their level of surrender, because in some stage of life every woman will obey to one man or to make something stupid which is not for bragging about. Being easy or hard don’t make differences, the point is how much you can hold to yourself.

If you think that being unavailable makes you hard target, or that being wild makes you easy, you are in deep illusion.

Let’s see in this example. Celia is a virgin, 35 years old. Accord her religious beliefs and traditional values in her family, every woman who sleeps with man who is not her husband is dirty woman. She finds them as easy and filthy. Celia is pure and she waits for her man, also her taste is very high, so she wants to get rich man, handsome as model, gentleman who will be faithful to her. She was not without admirers cause she is not ugly, indeed she is cute average woman. What was her failure, she is not interesting catch for man’s population on the way she wanted to be. She was dating with men but they can’t touch her properly. She runs even from kiss. Her heart was broken because she did not want to sleep with her big love, so he went to have sex with another woman. Celia said ” look at me, i am hard woman, i will wait for my husband and then i will sleep with him. ” Until now, there is not candidate for her. What she did was considered as hard, but her mind was very easy. A man promised her to visit her and get marry with her. He was from another country. He did not show up even she was waiting for him. Her virgin’s mind made her as easy target for illusions, as hard target for sex adventures.

There we got to another question, what is easy, and what is hard?

Hard targets are not by default virgins, religious women, those who are rigid and unavailable for men. They could be frustrated, but not so hard.

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Real hard target is this woman:

She has attitude. If you betray her, she might sex with you, but you will get dumped after this.

She is loyal. If she chose you, she will not chase another man. She expects the same from you.

She is silent and keep your secrets and trust.

She will reject other men.

Level of easy is not tightly connected with physical touch. You might see innocent virgin who is flirting with men and don’t give chance to anyone because she is playing. You might see promiscuous woman who will stand by side and wait for the right man. When some woman is yelling : “No, he will not get me, i am not a whore. ” , there is a doubt that she doesn’t stand by her attitude. If you know you are not easy, why to prove that and to whom?

In this relations the main role is in intuition. Your availability depends on your inner voice. If you feel that man is into you, that you can trust him and that he returns you love, it will not be important what you do for him. You can sleep with him and say goodbye if you don’t feel good, that will not make you cheap. You can call him and say that you want him and you will see in his eyes how much is good this idea.

Here is statement of one man , who said the point: “My girlfriend, i was expecting that she will jump into bed with me first week. I know she was with many men after me, but she did not sleep with me 3 months. I would not change my opinion even if she did it anyway, because i liked her at first sight. It was something in her wilderness which made me impressed. “

 

Are you just his number?

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Some women are always satisfied with remains of man’s attention. Their legendary statements are: „let he comes home“, „now is all  right between us“ or „other girls are for sex and i will stay with him“ . That is confirmation that woman is pleased with part of love and attention, as someone who waits on the line. It is easier to fool yourself, lie to yourself or having a relationship which exists only in your mind.

We women are emotional species and it is hard for us to fake love with someone who is not our soul match. If you are not gold digger who cares only for money, you will not be with someone you don’t care about.  You can date with him night or two, but later is phase of pretending, acting and feeling of sickness, nuisance and conscience’s guilt because you use someone who doesn’t owe your heart.

Relations with men who are not in your heart or if they are just dear to you are indeed waste of time. You will sit with someone at coffee table and your eyes will be around, for better opportunity. He will introduce you to his handsome friend and you will regret why he sits next to you when he has so attractive buddies.  He will buy you gift, and you would like to throw this into garbage box. Really, relation with someone who can’t swap you on feet or make you to lose your breath is as raping of yourself.  It is dry love, without heart beats.

Men are on different side , they are another story. Indeed some men are sophisticated and they will not go in bed with every woman, or some will reject even beautiful woman because they are in love in someone else, but also many men will accept flirt offer even they don’t like particular woman. Many men will accept offer for one night to please their ego or that society not consider them as cuckolds. As man’s circle would say : „Why you don’t shag her, you don’t have to marry her. „

Here is time to soap opera because not every woman will recognize that she is on the way station. Some women will gain fake hope that they seduced beloved man. Other women will think , yes he slept with me and it means something. They will say, he would not accept to have sex if he did not care. If hot meeting repeats, their beliefs will be even deeper. Such women collect crumbs whole life and if they spent night with attractive man, they will say „at least he was hot guy“ or „it was night to remember. „

How to realize that you were on way station with your man? How to avoid repeating this mistake?

You were author of this meeting. You called him, sent him messages, and he replies after few attempts , after  you bored to him or he is just silent without many question .

You made plans about meeting and all details, maybe you paid expenses too.

He is quiet and he doesn’t call you after you met. You call him but he is busy.

You attacked him but he is silent again and try to get out from situation with short sentences as „forgive me, it would not work out, i am not guy for long relations. „

Woman in love is blind trophy. She is as one eyed cat and she sees only one side of story. His kiss, his gentle hug, few excuses and soft words. Even if it happens only once, she asks for explanations and blame herself because she did not make enough efforts or she could not keep a guy.

When Ellen was so persistent to stalk Andrew in night club and she came there every weekend just to kiss with him in dark corner, her friend Alison was so worried. She has rolling eyes while Ellen talked about hot Andrew who is so good kisser and she warned her that is not good way to be with guy. This was love by force, while Andrew was waiting Helen’s first step , but he never asked her to date. After three weeks Alison decided to talk with Andrew because she was tired of stories of broken heart.  Andrew accepted her call and gave his explanation : „Well, i am not with Ellen. She is with me, but i am not her boyfriend, she just came to me so i don’t want to hurt her. „

Men who use women as way stations are not enough cruel to say them straight into face real truth. They are charming players, they go on sideways, they wait until women realize the point or until it become boring.  They pull women to leave them because they ignore them, provoke them, underestimated them or they just use silence as answer.  Well, this situation has deadline and that is why is easy to define it. You can’t call someone ten times without feedback. You can’t repeat always the same to the guy without his attention or will to even listen to you and fix his mistakes. He simply doesn’t care.

Way stations are not final destinations. These are wrong turn, places before main path , so that is why that places are defined by deadline. If you are woman who was in his life 5 minutes and he doesn’t extend your deadline, say goodbye to him. Go on main destination with smile on your face and warn your female friends that way stations are not comfortable zones.

How wives deal with husband’s mistresses?

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You love him, but she also love him. Here is the crowd in this love circle, and one of you must get out. Love triangle with one man and two women is filled by pain and tears.
When you know that you share guy with other girl, you should gave up from him. Now , the main question is: “Why should i give up? Let other woman get out and leave him alone.”
This is ungrateful position. Wife and children on right side, mistress on left side. Wife can lose a lot. Stability, financial situation will be worse, children will suffer and divorce is not so good idea. This is not just matter of just one person, if wife has two children, we have three ruined lives, all because of fatal woman , sexy mistress of your husband.

Wise woman will play on this card of women solidarity. Many won this game with ace of solidarity in their pocket. Two women, same gender, we should understand each other.

When Lydia found out that her husband is cheating her with Ingrid, woman from his office, she called her to drink coffee together. Lydia was not furious or rude. She was lady as always, and she said:
Dear, you have no idea what are you doing with my husband. We are married 20 years. Our children are almost adult, and of course we get bored from time to time. This routine can ruin all passion. But, he is not rich man, and if we will divorce, i will took him all money. You will earn money for him. Also, he is boss of department, if his business partners will know for affair, he will fall on low position. Divorce is big trauma and it will affect on his job, and job is his first love. He will hate you. But, if you love him so much you will be poor and happy. Also, do you know he still have sex with me? Think about next time when he will touch you.
Ingrid had just opened mouth and she stayed without words. She expected that Lydia will spill coffee on her or slap her, but really nothing like that happened. Lydia was coldblooded and kind, but her words were cutting her heart as knife. Ingrid was blushing from shame. She started to feel compassion toward children and she could not imagine herself in situation which Lydia described.
As Lydia said:
I don’t know you dear, but if you will be lucky to find husband, one day some women can do this to you. The same you did to me. Think about how would you feel on my place. 
Lydia finally shown to her photos of her children and Ingrid started to cry. She did not feel good and she left from coffee bar.
After this meeting,  with time, Ingrid learnt about women solidarity. She left his lover without explanation, even she asked to be removed from his department.
Sometimes, we must teach men that they are wrong. If you think that your men will never desire another women, you live in illusion. You need to find a way how to stop him, but without force and begging. One of ways is woman solidarity.

You will see on social networks many funny situations.

Men will write that they are married or engaged. Then they will add hot and sexy friends, and their wife will follow them. If you added man who is already taken, and his wife is on Facebook , invite her too and show her that you have no interest for her husband. Yes, i know, nobody can steal guy from computer monitor, especially if guy lives in another country. Just, this is a matter of pride.

Your guy has status in relation, and he is flirting on other walls? Let we kill this bitches. No, very wrong. You can add hot guys too and this game will be never ending. Or you can appeal on women solidarity. Any smart woman will not involve in other relations. It can be only humiliation, imagine you flirt with other husband and he kick you out from his page when he will get what he wanted. His wife can have password too, so if you send hot message, she will read this.

We are women, fragile, sensitive, but very dangerous and jealous when we love. Don’t touch my man, and i will not touch yours too.

Did you try to reanimate dead relation?

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When people fall in love, someone is always in advantage. That belongs to person who love less on first sight. In this circumstances, such person has slow reactions, heart is locked and self control is on the highest level. Other half in this couple is more sensitive, fragile and more available as emotional target.
The same happens when people start to chill out from romantic blindness. Person who chill out first is also in advantage. Yesterday she was crazy about you and she did not notice your bad breath, short legs or not so slim belly. Today she said that you should wash teeth more often, that you are not so fit and that she can’t get horny on you. So when we love even monkey is beautiful. When we don’t love anymore, we see things as they are and our criticism blinks on every detail.
Remember your ex boyfriends or girlfriends from the past. Today you will smile or even regret why you did such choice. But on other side, maybe reactions will not be the same. Maybe person is still into you and they can’t forget or chill out.
What happens when person can’t forget ex love, even it is very clear that it will never come back again?
You stand on the same place. It is impossible to move on because you are frozen.
 
You blame ex partner for all failures in your love life, even he vanished from your life a long time ago.
 
You don’t notice new people around you.
 
You try to get revenge and to ruin other life because of pain you feel inside.
Person who can’t forget made damage to yourself. 
 
Imagine that you try to get back person who forgot you a long time ago.

 
This is possible development of this story.
 
She will laugh to you.
 
If you disturb to your ex partner , she will call police or someone who will make your life miserable.
 
She can sue you for hurting her privacy and also is possible to ask access barring.
Now you think about, is that worthy, that people feel sorry for you or make jokes with you? Just because your ego is suffering?

My general opinion about people who can’t accept word no is that they never loved this fatal person. 

When you love someone and when relation broke, you will walk your way and let person to be happy, even without you. We all lose some battles in life and we can’t have it all what we imagined. Why to keep someone in fear just because our ego can’t stand defeat? This is obsession, not love.

Naomi had big problems with her ex boyfriend Ted. Long time after they broke up her phone was ringing in the middle of the night and she could not sleep well because she was disturbed by this calls. Ted was following her in all places where she went, but she was persistent in her decision. She ignored him and she was cold as an iceberg. Ted soon realized his nonsense so he left her alone.

When you are stalking person who left you a long time ago, you are catching shadow. 

That shadow will be around you, but you can’t touch her because it is forward you. Also, you are wasting your precious time which will never come back again.

Remember when you had beautiful rose . After few days that rose faded. Even you changed water in vase , that rose was without color and smell. Soon it was dry plant and all you could do is to put this into trash box. The same is with love from the past, you need to close this chapter because it ended a long time ago.

All shades of jealousy

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That sting will pinch you right into your heart. Your beloved partner is staring on other woman, and she is young, sexy and stunning. How do you feel? You wish to slap him or to make her vanish? Simply, you will swallow this bitterness or you will make a fight with him?

No matter how calm person is, it is hard to avoid jealousy. How does it happen? Jealousy is made of fear and envy. We afraid to lose our partner because of another person and then we feel envy toward our competition. Other followers of jealousy are insecurity, rage and anger. How much you did for him and he is acting like this? What will happen now, my relation is on insecure ground?

Jealousy might be spice to your relation if you use it properly. When couple is in long relation or in marriage, routine and boredom will attack your harmony and small dose of jealousy will help. It is good to remind your partner from time to time that you are still desirable, that other men are looking for you and you can return smile to handsome stranger. Sometimes it helps, when our partner have chance to see things with other eyes. 

Lisa and Brad were married about 10 years. Their sexual life had pattern, once in two weeks, when both found enough time between daily obligations and their work. They both chilled out. Lisa was still attractive but Brad did not notice her new skirt, new haircut or new underwear. One day Lisa met in the street her old friend from school days, handsome guy Timothy. She invited him to lunch at her home. While she was washing the dishes, Timothy said to Brad : “You are lucky man, i tried with Lisa before many years, but she was always looking friend in me. ” That words made Brad to think, when he was the last time that he imagined his wife as desirable ? In this case, Timothy helped without knowing.

Small dose of jealousy is spicy, but large amount is poison. Imagine that you are with man or woman who will complaint every day because you talked with someone at the street, because you have friends at work or you use social networks? This burden will be too heavy for you. In extreme cases, it will cause end of your relation.

We can make difference in jealousy , if we compare that feeling in colors.

These are some shades of jealousy.

White area. 

Your partner will not complain on your friends, he will allow you to drink coffee with them, to make lunch, even to make an innocent flirt with smile and sweet words. Here, kiss in cheek is the limit. So, your partner is not jealous, and maybe you want to make him jealous more?

Grey area. 

Your partner will be angry if you talk on phone with your friend from childhood, he will complain that you are too close with him. Also, why your male boss call you even in free time? You will try to explain that guys are harmless.

Blue area. 

Your guy will make conflict with other guys. Someone slap you in the butt until you were passing? Someone said nasty words to you? This is men pride, so it is not nice to comment to their girls. How would you feel that someone say to your girlfriend how hot is she, in front of you? Still you can avoid fight with ignorance or good joke as “too pity she is not your girlfriend.” In women case, only idiot women will slap butt of guy who is in company with other girl. That is filthy sign of despair. 

Red area

Your partner will make fight, without explanation. Your phone will be destroyed, your internet will not work and he will forbid you to talk with other guys, even with threats. Watch out, this is sick and paranoid. When you are into red area, runaway from there quick until you have whole teeth.

Sometimes, jealousy will be funny. You will enjoy to tease your partner because of his insecurity. This might be also your internal joke, how to make each other jealous . You can create limits. In other way, if you don’t respect wishes of your partner, if you have secret toward him and you are not cooperating, jealousy is not funny anymore. Secrets are followers of jealousy. You know how far you can go. He trusts you and he let you to drink coffee with this guy, but don’t kiss him because you are crossing the limits. The same with women, if your woman trusts you, don’t make her regret.

Jealousy is desirable spice until you increase the dose. In that case, jealousy is poison and her victims are random, she is not selective and she has no mercy.

Exclusivity – key for serious relation

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When you will know that relation is getting serious? That moment is here when your partner want to make commitment. This kind of obligation doesn’t have to be engagement or marriage, it is simply exclusivity. He said he wants to date only with you, he is interested only for you and other women have no chance to get close with him.

Problem with immature guys is in their wrong perception. When your partner is immature, he thinks that is enough to say sweet words and make excuses or promises , so things will work out. That will pass with insecure women, but when woman is made of strong principles, such vision will fail.

Let’s assume that you are dating with playboy. He is in contact with many women. They write messages to him on his social page. They are calling him. When you are in club , restaurant or anywhere else with him, you will always meet his “friends. ” Title “friends” is secret code for lovers, former girlfriends or undefined adventures. Now, you ask him to clean his mess, but what if he says no?

Normally, you would say, leave him. Situation is not always simple, so if you come to phase when you fall in love in him and you are sad without him, he will use this to manipulate with you.

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Where is an exit?

You can be friend with him. Say him, you are friend zoned, until you make decision.

You can give up, because there are lot of fishes in the sea.

Also, you might give him some time. Expiration date next month, next week, for his decision.

You can also have joker in pocket. Tell him, you are dating with someone else and you wait his hint. Make yourself as busy target, you are not taken, but also you will not be free because as every good product, you have your buyers. He is not the only one who wants you.

Now, you did your part, you are waiting him to call you. Don’t call him first, don’t make him rush, because this is as in stock market, your value is decreasing if you force situation.  If this pending time takes too long, if he is silent, you got your answer. Sometimes, silence is for men  the best conversation with woman.

Some guys said these things:

“I did not call her because i did not want to hear her crying or screaming. I was not interested. “

“My ex called me that she wants reunion, so i did not call that girl, i wanted to avoid trouble. “

“I felt i was not ready to commit to one woman. My friends called me on party, it was not time for romance. “

Even some women will say “let him, he will come back at the end”, that is not true. You can’t let guy who is in relation with you to do what he wants with other women. This is humiliation, and if you let him to flirt, next time he will ask you for advice what to do with certain woman. Friend zone can be painful if you love him.

Exclusivity means that :

He respects your opinion. He ask you advices, because you are important to him.

He will not make interactions with other women on a way to hurt you.

He will be loyal to you.

He will not let his friends to try with you. You are his target, he will not share you with other men.

Many women will swallow pride just to have man for adventure, for few nights, when they see, there is no chance to keep him. That is just bullshit solution. Scarves in your soul is not easy to heal. If you ask relation and he ask only flirt, make things clear. You will stay hungry as someone who ordered meal and got only soup on the table.

Why some women need alert to chill out from guys?

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Popular man will capture much attention. Many women will try to catch him , on various ways. If you are famous model, i believe that is not easy for you. Probably, you got tired from women because they are on every corner and waiting for you. Leonardo di Caprio once made love with 3 women in the same day, he did not want to reject their offer. When you are guy who jumps out from the crowd, when everybody wants to touch you , it must be exhausting. Even worse, you will try to find ways how to get rid of boring women.

You don’t have to be famous to be in the center of attention. Some guys have charisma, and women will stalk especially them. That is in women psychology, they want guy who belong to someone else, who had many relations and adventures, and who is popular. It doesn’t mean why this guy is popular. This could be his sexy look, intelligence, money or originality. He is simply different than others, as golden bracelet from the bunch of stones.

I understand that such guy will not have an easy life. He wish to reject women, but his manners will not let him, and they will use this as their advantage.

Randy was target in woman world. Boss of private company, handsome and unmarried. His phone was ringing all the time, his colleagues wanted to sleep with him, even his business partners. He was in uncomfortable situation when one project failed because he rejected to have sex with woman who was in charge for this. She set him up when she get out from his office with ripped blouse. He had much problems when she accused him for rape. Lucky, he hired good lawyer and he solved this problem without court.

Guys will be in more uncomfortable situation than girls when it comes time to reject some women. She could be your best friend, and how you will avoid to hurt her? She could be your supervisor, so you can lose job. Also, she could be sister of your best buddy and you will have problems because he will trust to her.

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What is cold shower strategy and how to persuade women to chill out from you?

Recognize signs. If she ask any excuse to talk with you all the time, she is into you already. Your phone constantly rings and her number is always on screen, so she wants to be your shadow. Don’t answer on every call or message. You need to make a distance.

Be official, but not rude. You have no time, you are busy. This could tell her that you are not interested.

Use short words or messages, as no, sorry or thanks, i don’t want. Long explanations will lead into conflicts and you don’t need this.

If she tries to touch you or seduce you, tell her that this is unacceptable and that you feel disturbed. You see friend in her, but nothing more.

Talk about other women in her presence. Ask for her friends, sister or cousins. That should chill her out, nobody likes competition.

Be clear. Don’t use games, because she can wrongly understand your signs.

If woman is normal and healthy, she will understand that she has no chance. If she is stalker or insane, you are in trouble, but it is not unsolved problem. I read about girl who called his ex boyfriend over 10 000 times , so he notified police. That is criminal act and law will deal with this.

As much women are on target of stalkers and maniac, men are also not spared of craziness. Rejection is hard and it breaks hearts. In this situation is very important to have cold mind and nice manners. Don’t yell as savage man, don’t swear and don’t use fists. There is no need to insult woman because she crushed into you. It happens, Cupid is not always fair. Sometimes, you will be crazy in love, and your choice will be person who is not interested at all. It could be also opposite, that you don’t like person who wants to date with you.

Rejection is not against good manners, this is just an attitude that you have right to choose. You want your space for someone else, and others should be notified. Also, on that way you will get good points from other women, because you are guy with standards and principles. You know how to say no, and you don’t date with women due to wrong reasons.

Why relations with hooligans are so exciting?

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Young girl will easy fall in love in hooligan. Guy who drives fast, spit on the floor and swears, what a dude! He said to his mother to go to hell, his teacher got nickname bitch, and his old neighbor is just an old corpse who breaths this air for a granted. For sure anyone of us women knew such kind of guy in youth, because something in his behavior was sexy, ruthless and cool. 

I knew a guy who lost teeth at football match and spent his night in jail. Even he was without teeth, many girls were flirting with him, because his chaos made him attractive. An opposite, nerd with glasses, guy who had excellent marks and who was living book of knowledge stayed virgin until college. With years, situation changed and suddenly hooligan was not welcome. Football supporter was not good candidate for marriage, and girls who were with him did not invited him at parties anymore, because now they were in ambitious race for success. 

Manners are basic of compulsory education. If you are well mannered, it shows that you came from good family, that you respect others, and the most important, that you represent yourself as serious person for friendship, business cooperation and love relation.

Let’s imagine scene where you represent your present boyfriend, who is hooligan, to your parents, friends and relatives. If he says : “so your mom is sexy” or ” so you are this fat best buddy” you will be in uncomfortable situation to justify his actions. His mistakes will be your mistakes and if some doors will be closed to you, he is responsible.

What are indeed good manners? This are not only certain level of education, kindness and sweet words. 

Some basic signs of good manners are not well understood, and people will mix some characteristic as right ones, but this perception is wrong.

If you are too kind, you are boring. Yes it is nice to see guy who will ask for health all your relatives, but if he repeat himself every time, he is a pest.

If you are all the time on the back of some person, you are smarmy. Your boss will not like if you give her compliments about her hairstyle all the time.

Don’t push nose in other privacy, even if you talk in the best way. If you say “is your sweet sister still shaken from breakup?” you will reveal something confident, and that is not nice.

Hooligan is not only person who spit and swears and who participate in street fights. Hooligan is person who doesn’t respect your time and your schedule. 

The wolf can wear sheep clothes, so you will not recognize him always at first sight. Sometimes he could be impostor, man with experience who just want to enter into your good family, for own purpose. You will see his real face later, between four walls. He can make huge compliments in publicity, but he can slap you in your private space.

When you fall in love in hooligan, you can’t bring him into your level. You can pretend that you are on his level, to explain to him basic values. Be close with him in a way as you are playing computer games. Sometimes, guy is innocent, and he doesn’t know that his actions can hurt you. You can’t change him, but maybe you can find common language with him so he will wish to do something for you. 

Do you feel you will never love again?

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Dwell in past relation is not just sabotage of your future. Bad flash back could ruin your new feelings, and you might feel sterilized. This time i will not talk how to get over your ex. I will talk what happens after dramatic relation which eaten up your feelings. Side effects might be dangerous for your feelings, self confidence and self respect.
First i wish to mention red flags which helps to recognize your relation as destroying.
 
You fight with your partner and he doesn’t spare your feelings. 
 
In this kind of conflict all is allowed. He will insult you until you faint.
 
He cheats you in front of your eyes and he doesn’t care what you will say.
 
He is embarrassing you in front of your friends and family.
 
He doesn’t know when is your birthday, he doesn’t celebrate holidays with you and anniversary is not something what he wish to remember.
 
He doesn’t care if his friends are interested for you or if they flirt with you.
Whoever was in that kind of relation will know about what i am talking about.
Maybe is understanding better if you see what happened to Gilda.
After breakup with Chase, Gilda was devastated. She could not touch or kiss guy one year, not because she had no chance. She felt frozen as iceberg, because she was dwelling in her past. Gilda was kind of passionate woman and she surrendered herself to this man, in complete. After he gone, she did not have anything to offer to other man. Friends gave her hint to other handsome and good guys, but Gilda did not feel. Her smile was lost and she was as Snow queen in fairy tale written by Hans Christian Andersen. Piece of ice stabbed her heart and she could not fall for anyone. What is funny part, Gilda did not want to get back in her previous relation. She met Chase with his new woman. All what she felt was nuisance. His new woman was older and ugly. Chase adored her, and Gilda could not manage why. Every time when Gilda thought about him, she did not feel love. She felt that Chase is disgusting guy, because he could insult Gilda and treat her as garbage, but he was melting in arms of that new, ugly woman. Her appearance killed all her feeling, but as when cancer is removed, some healthy parts gone too. Gilda could not fall in love in new guy.
Can we force new love, just because old relation is ruined? Can we open our heart because we need that desperately to forget old love? We can’t force but we might understand.
Now , you are aware of facts:
Old love is vanished. He or she will not come back.
 
You don’t feel regret. So, you doesn’t want to come back either.
 
You are empty because your heart is destroyed.
Devastated land is not dead area.
That is in fact, clean area. How is nice when you don’t drag past reminders with you. It means you are single not just by default, you are single in your heart. When new partner looks at you, he will not see reflection of someone other in your eyes. That is the most important, and emotional sterilization is just temporary.