Did you meet perfect jerk?

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If you ask some women did they met Mr. Perfect, for sure there will be stories to tell. Who is Mr. Perfect and what he represents?

Do you remember guy who always have the most expensive clothes, fast car and all women are on knees, some of them are screaming when he appears because he is irresistible? Also, he is son of his father, rich entrepreneur who has factory, firm or some private business and he has everything to be proud of?

The problem with such guys is because many of them think world is under their feet, and they just need to grab this. Thomas is son of familiar local gynecologist and when some girl would get pregnant with him, he sent her to father, on abortion. He is not ready to have family, yet. Thomas really get bored because everything is too easy for him, on the palm. Sexy women, lot of money, many opportunities for job, and he is dying for challenge.

Another story comes out from Andrew. His father has apartments on the sea, few coffee bars and Andrew doesn’t need to work, he is just having fun in one of that bars, by teasing poor waiters who work for him. Every weekend Andrew finds woman for sex, when she is enough drunk, he takes her into his flat, which is near bar. Another day, Andrew pretends that nothing happened and he doesn’t reply on phone calls. One day he finished in bed with Iris. She was not type of easy woman, she spent days in studying for a lawyer, but one exam was very hard and she was very stressed. She get drunk in Andrew’s cafe bar. They had sex and as usually, another day Andrew did not notice her. Iris was hurt and she cried a lot, she called him on phone, and he replied after many calls, with one sentence : “I am rich, i can do what i want, so leave me alone. “

After one month two guys, friends of Iris, visited Andrew in his favorite bar, to speak with him. One of them said : “Listen jerk, she got pregnant and you are the father. So if you will not speak with her i will break your nose. ” Andrew was in fear so he called Iris to ask her what is going on, but she did not reply on his call. He had nightmare because she was silent next days, and her friends were watching him from every corner. Finally, Andrew approached her in night club.

They talked and Irish said to him : “Listen idiot, i am not pregnant, but you are piece of shit and this is lesson for you to learn about respect. Now, get out from my sight, because i don’t want to see you never again. “

What money can’t buy is clear conscience.
Andrew was so perfect guy, handsome , rich, popular, but he did not see nobody else except himself. From that day, he started to think different, because he felt unpleasant. Something rock his perfect world. Until then, he was main star with fun club.

When we think that we have everything, someone will remind us that we still miss something, especially if we are so cocky, selfish and superficial. Egomaniacs forget that wheel of fortune is spinning, and some day they may be on the bottom. Will they find way out to the top again ?

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How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

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When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

Did you try to provoke jealousy?

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Your beloved man is cheating you? He doesn’t pay enough attention at you? Or, he is just passive and sleeps as Sleeping beauty until you wake him up?
Here is simply cure, make him jealous. This is usual recommendation when you need to save your relation. Also, this strategy works out if you are on half way to catch boyfriend, but you stucked in the middle.
Artificial jealousy is state of shock. You should make him terrified, that he is afraid to lose you. As everything what is not spontaneous or natural, such experiment could go wrong.
Before you use this advice, check this facts.
Your partner will be jealous only if he still loves you.
 
If you cheat him, he will see this as sign that you have open relation and he can do the same.
 
Make limits in your actions. You can dance with someone in front of his eyes, but don’t kiss other man otherwise you will make scandal.
 
Be careful when you choose subject of your game. Don’t hurt someone who loves you. 
 
Make a deal with your partner in crime and make it clear what you expect from him.
Here are two examples of wrong turn.
What happened?
Sandy was madly in love in her boyfriend James. He was too busy to make her happy, his first love was his job.  Sandy made deal with Leonard, her friend from school days to make James jealous. She made party at home for Christmas and she invited many friends and neighbors. Leonard was star of the evening and everyone liked him. Just, he forgot deal and he was so drunk that he puked on carpet. Sandy was cleaning this glitch whole morning after party. James bought bottle of mineral water to help Leonard to get sober. Her plan failed and their relation is on ice now.
In other case, Paula was betrayed woman. His husband Matt cheated her with nurse. He was doctor in emergency, and everyone bragged about this affair. Paula wanted to get revenge and she invited her neighbor Andy at wedding of her sister. She wanted to introduce Andy to her family, just to give hint that she is not alone. They were dancing all night and Paula never had so much fun. Then Andy admitted to her that he  loves her a long time ago. They  relation that evening, and Paula forgot about her plan.
You can’t make a fire if there is no sparks.
Jealousy is just a tool, but this is double sword. Maybe your partner will be angry, maybe his ego will be broken. It doesn’t mean that he will start to love you again. Maybe, he can even make conclusion that you deserve someone who is better than him. When you make someone jealousy, it is usually beginning of the end.

All shades of jealousy

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That sting will pinch you right into your heart. Your beloved partner is staring on other woman, and she is young, sexy and stunning. How do you feel? You wish to slap him or to make her vanish? Simply, you will swallow this bitterness or you will make a fight with him?

No matter how calm person is, it is hard to avoid jealousy. How does it happen? Jealousy is made of fear and envy. We afraid to lose our partner because of another person and then we feel envy toward our competition. Other followers of jealousy are insecurity, rage and anger. How much you did for him and he is acting like this? What will happen now, my relation is on insecure ground?

Jealousy might be spice to your relation if you use it properly. When couple is in long relation or in marriage, routine and boredom will attack your harmony and small dose of jealousy will help. It is good to remind your partner from time to time that you are still desirable, that other men are looking for you and you can return smile to handsome stranger. Sometimes it helps, when our partner have chance to see things with other eyes. 

Lisa and Brad were married about 10 years. Their sexual life had pattern, once in two weeks, when both found enough time between daily obligations and their work. They both chilled out. Lisa was still attractive but Brad did not notice her new skirt, new haircut or new underwear. One day Lisa met in the street her old friend from school days, handsome guy Timothy. She invited him to lunch at her home. While she was washing the dishes, Timothy said to Brad : “You are lucky man, i tried with Lisa before many years, but she was always looking friend in me. ” That words made Brad to think, when he was the last time that he imagined his wife as desirable ? In this case, Timothy helped without knowing.

Small dose of jealousy is spicy, but large amount is poison. Imagine that you are with man or woman who will complaint every day because you talked with someone at the street, because you have friends at work or you use social networks? This burden will be too heavy for you. In extreme cases, it will cause end of your relation.

We can make difference in jealousy , if we compare that feeling in colors.

These are some shades of jealousy.

White area. 

Your partner will not complain on your friends, he will allow you to drink coffee with them, to make lunch, even to make an innocent flirt with smile and sweet words. Here, kiss in cheek is the limit. So, your partner is not jealous, and maybe you want to make him jealous more?

Grey area. 

Your partner will be angry if you talk on phone with your friend from childhood, he will complain that you are too close with him. Also, why your male boss call you even in free time? You will try to explain that guys are harmless.

Blue area. 

Your guy will make conflict with other guys. Someone slap you in the butt until you were passing? Someone said nasty words to you? This is men pride, so it is not nice to comment to their girls. How would you feel that someone say to your girlfriend how hot is she, in front of you? Still you can avoid fight with ignorance or good joke as “too pity she is not your girlfriend.” In women case, only idiot women will slap butt of guy who is in company with other girl. That is filthy sign of despair. 

Red area

Your partner will make fight, without explanation. Your phone will be destroyed, your internet will not work and he will forbid you to talk with other guys, even with threats. Watch out, this is sick and paranoid. When you are into red area, runaway from there quick until you have whole teeth.

Sometimes, jealousy will be funny. You will enjoy to tease your partner because of his insecurity. This might be also your internal joke, how to make each other jealous . You can create limits. In other way, if you don’t respect wishes of your partner, if you have secret toward him and you are not cooperating, jealousy is not funny anymore. Secrets are followers of jealousy. You know how far you can go. He trusts you and he let you to drink coffee with this guy, but don’t kiss him because you are crossing the limits. The same with women, if your woman trusts you, don’t make her regret.

Jealousy is desirable spice until you increase the dose. In that case, jealousy is poison and her victims are random, she is not selective and she has no mercy.