business · career · character · crises · depression · illusion · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · relations

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

behavior · cyber space · erotica · illusion · infidelity · jealousy · lies · life · lovers · loyalty

When you entered into flirt zone?

 

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When man is jealous, he will accuse woman for flirting or cheating. Women will often say : “He is just my friend”. Sometimes is hard to draw a line between flirting and talking, and some men will be hurt because they think that woman cross this area. Also, some women wish to feed their ego, but they don’t want to lose their safe relation . In this case, they will increase their boundaries, until someone get caught them, in the action.

Imagine that you have friend from childhood. You know him all your life, and it is natural that you will hug him, squeeze his hand and talk about confident thing. If he is handsome man, and you already have partner, your partner could be jealous. Also, if you work with handsome man, he could also show jealousy, even you are always decent and professional.

When you already step in into flirt zone?

You drink coffee with your “friend”, and your partner doesn’t know nothing about this.

You kissed another man, without telling this to your partner.

You went out with your friends and dancing with another men whole night. When your partner called you, you said that you are alone with cocktail in the corner and that you get bored.

You shared your personal details with unknown men, and your boyfriend is out of knowledge about this.

You save mails and messages from another man. Their content is romantic or sexy. 

Women sometimes have an opposite logic. They will accuse their men for cheating, but in the same time they will flirt, because “that is different. ” If your man has colleague at work and she is attractive, you will describe her as “filthy slut. ” But your male office mate is “charming guy. ” It is different, when it gets us personally. If you are talkative woman, if you love hangouts with men, if men are better friends for you that women, it could be problem, but not unsolved. When your partner knows you and trusts you, you will feel big responsibility and you will not cheat him.

Helen and Jeremy are long time in marriage. His best friend Neville is also her friend. When Jeremy is not at home, Neville goes with Helen in restaurant, to make lunch. Helen never abuse this trust. She loves Jeremy and she would never hurt him, even Neville is handsome guy and single.

Difference between talking with men and flirting is in conscience.  How your conscience works? Would you sleep with your sister’s husband, your friend’s husband or with your best friend? Some women are without limits. Croatian singer Anđa Marić had best friend, who slept with her husband. It happened and ruined her marriage.

Flirt zone is devilish zone, when you are not single. Butterflies in belly, lot of attention around, many sexy guys who wish to have you. If you look further, how much of them would marry you, take a responsibility and give you love? Now, statistic is smaller, isn’t it? So, before you step into flirt zone, be careful what will your partner say about this.

character · crises · depression · drama · gossip · illusion · loyalty · mindful · relations

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

behavior · depression · drama · illusion · loyalty · narcism · relations

Did you try to provoke jealousy?

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Your beloved man is cheating you? He doesn’t pay enough attention at you? Or, he is just passive and sleeps as Sleeping beauty until you wake him up?
Here is simply cure, make him jealous. This is usual recommendation when you need to save your relation. Also, this strategy works out if you are on half way to catch boyfriend, but you stucked in the middle.
Artificial jealousy is state of shock. You should make him terrified, that he is afraid to lose you. As everything what is not spontaneous or natural, such experiment could go wrong.
Before you use this advice, check this facts.
Your partner will be jealous only if he still loves you.
 
If you cheat him, he will see this as sign that you have open relation and he can do the same.
 
Make limits in your actions. You can dance with someone in front of his eyes, but don’t kiss other man otherwise you will make scandal.
 
Be careful when you choose subject of your game. Don’t hurt someone who loves you. 
 
Make a deal with your partner in crime and make it clear what you expect from him.
Here are two examples of wrong turn.
What happened?
Sandy was madly in love in her boyfriend James. He was too busy to make her happy, his first love was his job.  Sandy made deal with Leonard, her friend from school days to make James jealous. She made party at home for Christmas and she invited many friends and neighbors. Leonard was star of the evening and everyone liked him. Just, he forgot deal and he was so drunk that he puked on carpet. Sandy was cleaning this glitch whole morning after party. James bought bottle of mineral water to help Leonard to get sober. Her plan failed and their relation is on ice now.
In other case, Paula was betrayed woman. His husband Matt cheated her with nurse. He was doctor in emergency, and everyone bragged about this affair. Paula wanted to get revenge and she invited her neighbor Andy at wedding of her sister. She wanted to introduce Andy to her family, just to give hint that she is not alone. They were dancing all night and Paula never had so much fun. Then Andy admitted to her that he  loves her a long time ago. They  relation that evening, and Paula forgot about her plan.
You can’t make a fire if there is no sparks.
Jealousy is just a tool, but this is double sword. Maybe your partner will be angry, maybe his ego will be broken. It doesn’t mean that he will start to love you again. Maybe, he can even make conclusion that you deserve someone who is better than him. When you make someone jealousy, it is usually beginning of the end.
behavior · erotica · flirt · lovers · loyalty · marriage · moral

All shades of jealousy

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That sting will pinch you right into your heart. Your beloved partner is staring on other woman, and she is young, sexy and stunning. How do you feel? You wish to slap him or to make her vanish? Simply, you will swallow this bitterness or you will make a fight with him?

No matter how calm person is, it is hard to avoid jealousy. How does it happen? Jealousy is made of fear and envy. We afraid to lose our partner because of another person and then we feel envy toward our competition. Other followers of jealousy are insecurity, rage and anger. How much you did for him and he is acting like this? What will happen now, my relation is on insecure ground?

Jealousy might be spice to your relation if you use it properly. When couple is in long relation or in marriage, routine and boredom will attack your harmony and small dose of jealousy will help. It is good to remind your partner from time to time that you are still desirable, that other men are looking for you and you can return smile to handsome stranger. Sometimes it helps, when our partner have chance to see things with other eyes. 

Lisa and Brad were married about 10 years. Their sexual life had pattern, once in two weeks, when both found enough time between daily obligations and their work. They both chilled out. Lisa was still attractive but Brad did not notice her new skirt, new haircut or new underwear. One day Lisa met in the street her old friend from school days, handsome guy Timothy. She invited him to lunch at her home. While she was washing the dishes, Timothy said to Brad : “You are lucky man, i tried with Lisa before many years, but she was always looking friend in me. ” That words made Brad to think, when he was the last time that he imagined his wife as desirable ? In this case, Timothy helped without knowing.

Small dose of jealousy is spicy, but large amount is poison. Imagine that you are with man or woman who will complaint every day because you talked with someone at the street, because you have friends at work or you use social networks? This burden will be too heavy for you. In extreme cases, it will cause end of your relation.

We can make difference in jealousy , if we compare that feeling in colors.

These are some shades of jealousy.

White area. 

Your partner will not complain on your friends, he will allow you to drink coffee with them, to make lunch, even to make an innocent flirt with smile and sweet words. Here, kiss in cheek is the limit. So, your partner is not jealous, and maybe you want to make him jealous more?

Grey area. 

Your partner will be angry if you talk on phone with your friend from childhood, he will complain that you are too close with him. Also, why your male boss call you even in free time? You will try to explain that guys are harmless.

Blue area. 

Your guy will make conflict with other guys. Someone slap you in the butt until you were passing? Someone said nasty words to you? This is men pride, so it is not nice to comment to their girls. How would you feel that someone say to your girlfriend how hot is she, in front of you? Still you can avoid fight with ignorance or good joke as “too pity she is not your girlfriend.” In women case, only idiot women will slap butt of guy who is in company with other girl. That is filthy sign of despair. 

Red area

Your partner will make fight, without explanation. Your phone will be destroyed, your internet will not work and he will forbid you to talk with other guys, even with threats. Watch out, this is sick and paranoid. When you are into red area, runaway from there quick until you have whole teeth.

Sometimes, jealousy will be funny. You will enjoy to tease your partner because of his insecurity. This might be also your internal joke, how to make each other jealous . You can create limits. In other way, if you don’t respect wishes of your partner, if you have secret toward him and you are not cooperating, jealousy is not funny anymore. Secrets are followers of jealousy. You know how far you can go. He trusts you and he let you to drink coffee with this guy, but don’t kiss him because you are crossing the limits. The same with women, if your woman trusts you, don’t make her regret.

Jealousy is desirable spice until you increase the dose. In that case, jealousy is poison and her victims are random, she is not selective and she has no mercy.

couples · depression · erotica · lovers · loyalty · passion · patience · relations

Exclusivity – key for serious relation

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When you will know that relation is getting serious? That moment is here when your partner want to make commitment. This kind of obligation doesn’t have to be engagement or marriage, it is simply exclusivity. He said he wants to date only with you, he is interested only for you and other women have no chance to get close with him.

Problem with immature guys is in their wrong perception. When your partner is immature, he thinks that is enough to say sweet words and make excuses or promises , so things will work out. That will pass with insecure women, but when woman is made of strong principles, such vision will fail.

Let’s assume that you are dating with playboy. He is in contact with many women. They write messages to him on his social page. They are calling him. When you are in club , restaurant or anywhere else with him, you will always meet his “friends. ” Title “friends” is secret code for lovers, former girlfriends or undefined adventures. Now, you ask him to clean his mess, but what if he says no?

Normally, you would say, leave him. Situation is not always simple, so if you come to phase when you fall in love in him and you are sad without him, he will use this to manipulate with you.

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Where is an exit?

You can be friend with him. Say him, you are friend zoned, until you make decision.

You can give up, because there are lot of fishes in the sea.

Also, you might give him some time. Expiration date next month, next week, for his decision.

You can also have joker in pocket. Tell him, you are dating with someone else and you wait his hint. Make yourself as busy target, you are not taken, but also you will not be free because as every good product, you have your buyers. He is not the only one who wants you.

Now, you did your part, you are waiting him to call you. Don’t call him first, don’t make him rush, because this is as in stock market, your value is decreasing if you force situation.  If this pending time takes too long, if he is silent, you got your answer. Sometimes, silence is for men  the best conversation with woman.

Some guys said these things:

“I did not call her because i did not want to hear her crying or screaming. I was not interested. “

“My ex called me that she wants reunion, so i did not call that girl, i wanted to avoid trouble. “

“I felt i was not ready to commit to one woman. My friends called me on party, it was not time for romance. “

Even some women will say “let him, he will come back at the end”, that is not true. You can’t let guy who is in relation with you to do what he wants with other women. This is humiliation, and if you let him to flirt, next time he will ask you for advice what to do with certain woman. Friend zone can be painful if you love him.

Exclusivity means that :

He respects your opinion. He ask you advices, because you are important to him.

He will not make interactions with other women on a way to hurt you.

He will be loyal to you.

He will not let his friends to try with you. You are his target, he will not share you with other men.

Many women will swallow pride just to have man for adventure, for few nights, when they see, there is no chance to keep him. That is just bullshit solution. Scarves in your soul is not easy to heal. If you ask relation and he ask only flirt, make things clear. You will stay hungry as someone who ordered meal and got only soup on the table.

behavior · character · drama · lesson · life · loyalty · mindful · relations

4 steps how to be selfish

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Selfishness is a trap without bottom. Everyone will fall into this seduced by own desires and wishes. The main difference is in control, how much are we able to resist and fight against this demonic feeling?

Every human relation will consider selfishness as enemy. Mother can’t be selfish, friends can’t think only about their needs, lovers must share things and accept opinions from other side.

How you will recognize this moment when you were selfish?

Selfishness will develop from small seed into monster plant. 

First stage: you are talking only about yourself, even you are not alone. “I think we should go there. You need to accept my proposition, i know the best.”

Second stage: denials of other wishes and needs. “I think you are not so experienced to do this. Let me do this.”

Third stage: you do mistakes, but you don’t want to admit it. “What, did i mistake? It could not happen to me, i am perfect. “

Fourth stage : you will blame others that they hurt you, without seeing your contribution. “But you insulted me and i slap you. You provoke me so i broke your nose.”

When person is selfish, she will made small circle. There will be people who are made accord her wishes. That people will clap their hands for all her actions, they will confirm what she is doing even she does wrong. This circle will be closed for everyone who thinks different. Ego is creator of this circle and such person doesn’t allow criticism or different opinions. This is small world and dictator is sitting on big chair surrounded by his smarmy friends.

The most beautiful relations develop from differences. When someone make a challenge, he will not insult you. An opposite, this person tests you how much you are brave to accept differences. The best friends i made are those i had some argument at the beginning. Once when we agreed about our preferences, we made great healthy deal. 

You can see good example of selfishness at internet pages. Add me, chat with me, like my page, accept my tags. All this is nice and interesting, but what you offer for return? Silence, ignorance, arrogance or just a hint that others are too small for you?

Famous persons are celebrities because their fans made this from them. Without audience, every cocky star would be nothing. 

Selfishness will show her dark face once when you lose friends or person who is owner of your heart. This is only medicine for egoists, because then they will be finally faced with themselves. 

“Mirror, mirror who is the most beautiful woman in the world? It must be me.” Like in old fairy tale, your ego wants to kill all rivals , but the biggest rival is inside of you. 

character · egoism · envy · internet · loyalty · patience · prejudices · relations

How to survive as weirdo?

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Some people were born to act accord social rules. As they have drafts what to say or to do in particular situations. “He knows to behave” or ” She is well educated” are just some of descriptions. When you fit in, you are safe from gossips and your circle of friends is big. Or, you just think on this way? If you are clumsy and simply stand out from usual patterns, you will have problem to be part of society, but your failures will help you to be more original.
Did you feel that you are part of wrong movie? Your personal twilight zone doesn’t have to be your disaster. For example, if you stuck between female friends who knows all about baking cakes, and you wish to disappear, it doesn’t mean that you are shame for woman species. I personally felt much better when i was drinking beer and watching football match Croatia – Mexico with my husband and male friends, when we all had so much fun even result was not good for us. I did not see myself with women who trade recipes for domestic cookies.  Probably i would yawn from boredom.
When you can be sure that you are different?
When everyone has something to say in group, and you don’t have opinion or you get bored.
 
When you feel that nobody listen your suggestions.
 
When others start to whisper and gossip about you, and you feel uncomfortable.
 
When you say something what makes others to wonder.
 
One interesting fact is : woman outsider has harder way than man outsider. Different guy is sexy and cool, but rebellious, strange woman is danger. She scares men. She could be victim of bullying. Also she could be declared as target for sex, because her mind is opened. It is not rarity that guys like to have sex with freaky women. She might know different things in bed, and she doesn’t runaway from exploring.
How you will play in this wrong movie, it depends on your character. Will you back up because all are against you, or you will walk in front of this crowd?
Some tips in this case:
Smile if crowd start to mock you. Smile is sign of self confidence.
 
Reply them on cool way. Don’t make your voice tremble. 
 
Don’t try to persuade others that you are not different than them. This is your protecting brand. If you listen heavy metal, and they are listening pop, it doesn’t make you bad person. You are not satanic person with horns.
 
Say what you think even this is opposite from majority. Let they stare at you.
Weirdos are more intelligent people and they have keys to freedom. If your clothes is different, if your accent is funny, if you eat vegan foods and everyone around you eat meat, you don’t have to be ashamed because of this. One my friend came in continental part of Croatia , and she was from Dalmatia. Her accent was different but she was talking loud and with smile, even people looked at her as she is an alien. Be proud of your roots no matter from where are you from, who are your parents and who is your partner. That is the only way that you play main role in this wrong movie, and this is not role of social clown.
destiny · drama · ego · freedom · illusion · lies · life · lovers · loyalty · relations

When you fall in love in chicken man

Love stories are unpredictable, Cupid arrows hit unknown targets and in relations are possible with many various combinations. You can see people on first sight, and think: “How they finished together?” When you scratch under surface, you will understand why some couples split very fast, and why others are inseparable. 

One of bad combinations is relation between weak man and strong woman. No, i don’t think about relation between wrestler woman and man who dance ballet, i talk about their characters. It would be natural that man is firm, bold and stable, and that woman can count on him. Especially if woman is sensible, fragile and gentle lady, that kind of man would be great match for her. Sometimes, life plays cruel games, and strong woman will involve with milksop. 

If you think that this is relation where woman rule, you are wrong. This woman has many problems because such man is unstable, undecided and unable to take important decisions.

What would be milksop?

You can recognize him in few steps.

He asks from you to pay your bill when you are in coffee bar.

He expect that you drive him in your car. If he lives in another country, you should take a plane and fly to meet with him.

If his friends don’t like you, try not to upset them. They are so important to him , and their opinion can bury you.

If someone attack you, he will runaway, so you will deal with your enemy alone.

If his mother don’t like you, try to please her wishes. He is usually favorite son and masterpiece of his mother.

He is usually passive, so if you need to take decision, he will let it to you.

In such relation, woman is usually abandoned in her beliefs and she feels alone. This relation is boat, and you will drive this boat, if you quit, you will drown together with your milksop. He can disappoint you even in bed, because as real puppy he will expect that you make him horny. The best thing you can do is to wake him up. Leave him somewhere in unknown city to see will he find way out. Let he goes out with your aggressive brother or friend, to see how he can handle this.

This kind of men you can often meet in virtual world. They will create many pages , they are romantic on first sight, they use sweet words and nice approach, but if you expect action from them, you are on wrong address. They expect granny with cookies, because they are unable to do significant steps. 

What can happen to them is to meet much older woman who will be kind of mother for them. On such way they can continue with lazy life, where they don’t need to do nothing, because everything will be done for them. They need big bear who will carry them as little kids, because they are made from sensitive materials. Lioness use too much hard ways and it can ruin their peaceful life.