So called kindness

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Use lovely smile and sweet words, talk kind and you are on the half way to get what you wish. Many times such behavior will make our view misty, especially when we reveal the truth. This woman was so sweet and kind, who would tell that she is indeed a bitch? That is in human nature, to make vision about fake saints and angels, to put them in the throne, and when they start to shit, people are surprised.

Lao Tse once said that nice words are not always true, and true words are not always nice. When someone treat you on kind way, it doesn’t mean that person loves you or likes you.

What kind of traps are wrapped in kindness?

Professional trap. Person wants to sell you something, so saleswoman will tell you that you look as Hollywood star in some dress, even you are indeed fat.

Favor for favor. That person will hug you and ask something from you, as kind of trade. “Dear, you are wonderful person, can you lend me some money?”

Knife in back. Backstabber will do this, until you listen their sweet words, such people will cook poison meal for you. The most easier way to get revenge to someone you don’t like is to prepare soft ground. Let this person melt with your kindness, and then you will smash her into face when she doesn’t expect this.

Sarah was new neighbor. She noticed Frank first day when she move in new apartment, but Frank was married man. Sarah made plan to caught him in her spider net. She made cake to offer this as gift . Then she organised party and invited both, Frank and his wife. She take care for their little daughter when both were busy. Who would not love Sarah? One day, when Frank’s wife was in business journey, Sarah appeared on his door in sexy dress. She wanted help from Frank, with buttons. His wife came earlier and that scene was unpleasant. Frank said to his wife :”How could you be so jealous? Sarah is so sweet and kind. Real angel.” She had this saint aureole around her head and nobody could prove opposite.

It is very unpleasant to make war with kind person. She will have huge support. People will fall on kindness, especially if that person did much favors. She prepared ground to make seed for her future actions. If you try to spit on angel, you will be marked as devil with horns. This is private soap opera, angry girls are bad, and sweet girls with smile are good. Don’t hurt good girl, she is so kind, she will cry and people will hug her because you hurt an angel.

Real kindness is not wrapped in bad intentions or purposes. If someone truly loves you, this person will not lick ground where you are walking. You don’t need red carpet. Obsequiousness and kindness are two different things. You can be decent without hyperbole. It is like you go to hairdresser, and she is walking around you with words: “Omg. Fantastic, real beauty! Model. Miss of the world.” Then you will pay big money for her masterpiece.

When someone kiss you in cheeks and hug you without reason, that is not natural if you don’t know this person very well. That is Trojan horse. You don’t need to push that person away, you can only ignore that . It is not your obligation to return this if you don’t like this. Fake kindness is usually temporary act, because next day this person will not greet you on the street if you don’t respond to her purposes.

At the end, people are creatures from flesh and blood, they are not sinless angels. I prefer person with mistakes and flaws, than someone who will try to clean my shoes. Real kindness is when someone gives you a hand with understanding. This is constancy. I loved you yesterday and i will love you today and tomorrow.

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Say cheese – personal photos on internet

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Did you ever see good looking girl and thought how cocky is she? Maybe she just had good taste for outfit and positive attitude, so her smile and words sound pretentious. Such people are subject for gossips because they are red spot in grey area. When i see such woman at work with perfect hair and makeup, i admire to her because often i have no patience and time to watch on every detail on my outside look. She is as walking magazine, everything is on place.

Reaction of people are different, so my colleagues think that she is pretentious bitch. Indeed she is inspiration, she never tease other people but she take care of herself. How we react on others talk about us, so if we are envious that is source of inner insecurity.

Look at photos on social networks, many women will use half naked photos to pull attention. I see quotes how is this inappropriate , vulgar and slutty. Indeed, that is not my business. If woman wants men who comment her photos, even with provoking style, that is her choice. Somehow i admire to women who can handle all men population who want to grab them and rip their clothes. Once i saw girl in swimsuit at Facebook, other girl said under photo :”Slut, how much?”, and she replied in cool way :”You have problem with me?”

Frankly, i will judge only double faced women. That category are women who wish to put their photos, but they afraid of their husbands or they think their body and face is not for photographs. In this inner mess they will attack others who dare. I sometimes put provoking photos on my page, not to attract men, i do it cause of defiance and to feel freedom. I wish to see what will moralists say. Parties on the beach, oh how dare you?

The bigger problem on some profile are fake photos or photos from youth, even we know how much person is old. Or, male under woman photo. Such freaks are not rare. Games with genders are popular on internet.

Some chick lit psychology claims that women with half naked photos will attract wrong kind of men. As perverts, maniacs, men for adventures. Well, who guarantee you that covered face will not attract maniac? If you are naive, your way of talk will connect opportunists and liars, no matter what you wear.

What is irritating conservative people the most?

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Photos with alcohol.

Photos with one women and more guys.

Photos of older women on party. 

Grumpy photos, because woman should always smile accord traditional standards.

Photos with cigarette. 

Short skirts, visible bra, messy hair.

Message is not outside, it is inside. You might fool people with blond hair and big boobs, but when you speak it will reveal your real nature. That was my pleasure, when two older gentlemen wanted to buy me drink and i said that i have enough money to pay my drinks by myself.

Are you heartless woman?

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Feelings are not automatic buttons that we can press right ones to act as we wish in this moment. It would be good to press delete or shut down in some opportunities, because it would spare us from pain. Modern woman will say : “I can make love with man and after this i will leave him if he is not what i wanted”, but that is part of theory. In practice, things are different, because if you are not porno star or prostitute, your feelings will be involved.
Some women will try to copy men, for revenge. Just, men are not built from the same materials as women. Man can enjoy in sex and after this he will not date with woman, because it was part of his pleasure, and she is not in his heart. Women are more sensitive, and this planet is full of women who cried because they did not learn difference between sex and making love.
Black widow is a spider. She will eat her man after reproduction. That is good role model for dissapointed women who wish to swallow partners after pleasure. Pain is sometimes so hard feeling that is not enough to cry or yell. You wish to destroy someone in a way to forward him your pain.
Here are some stories about women , how they acted after painful breakups.
“I pick guy when i was hitchhiking. We had sex and after this i did not ask for his number.”
“I went to his flat even i did not know guy as well. After this, i told him that i wanted only sex.”
” I used his friend for sex, and he bragged about me as bitch later. “
 
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If you wish to act like black widow, remember this rules:
1. Look at his eyes and remember he is here for purpose, to give you pleasure.
2. Don’t call him later, because your feelings will involve.
3. Don’t get jealous because he is not your love.
4. Smile if you see him, say hello or thanks, but don’t get into deeper conversation.
5, Don’t talk around about him, because that story can turn against you.
Some women are rational and flegmatic, and they can control their feelings when they need this. If you are too sensitive woman, if you could not kill even mosquito, this kind of business is not for you. Playing role of vixen is for strong lady, who is aware of consequences.
Keira was romantic woman, and when her boyfriend Malcolm left her in tears, she asked for advise from her best friend Helen. So, Helen suggested her to make love with Malcolm , but just for revenge. It was killer plan, because after sex the main task of Keira was to get out from flat in early morning , until Malcolm is sleeping. Later, in the case that Malcolm ask for her, she would just wrote him SMS to fuck of from her forever. Keira did first part of this plan, she made love with Malcolm, because he still wanted her, but he already had another girlfriend. In early morning Keira started to cry and asked for a hug. But Malcolm got up from bed and said to her that it was last time and that he is in love in new girlfriend. Keira got double kick in the ass.
If you are not player, don’t participate in the game.
Yes, you watched Linda Fiorentino and Sharon Stone in role of fatal seductresses, but maybe you are not hot fatal woman. If you can’t swallow part of your heart, you will not swallow and spit your ex partner. Even worse, you will hurt yourself. Don’t blame yourself because you are not black widow. You have feelings and it makes you wonderful woman, because someone will accept your romantic nature as gift.

We could be immature forever

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Immaturity is not basically connected with ages. You can be serious and mature in 20, and foolish in 60. It doesn’t make difference how old you look, what kind of job you have or which is your position in society. Remember Silvio Berlusconi and his Lolita fetish girls. He is enough old to be proud grandfather, but his behavior would fit better to teenager.

Life is divided on stages. Childhood, youth, middle age, old age, every period has lessons to learn. If  you pass this lessons on time, you are on next stair. You will bring your experience with you and share with your descendants.

What happens when you did not pass life lessons on time?

Which are consequences?

You may act naive. Everyone can make fool of you. You did not kiss a girl until 25, so you don’t know how. 

Everyone can make fool of you. You are excellent target for cheaters, impostors, liars.

People will mock you, that you are greenhorn. You are still on mamma’s milk.

You can deliberately hurt someone. You were virgin until 30, now one girl is not enough and you go further.

There are various reasons why you did not participated in important stage of your life. Maybe parents forbid you to make hands dirty in sand, until other kids played on playground. Maybe you had harsh mother who did not let you to wear short skirt and you had limitation to go home before midnight. Maybe you follow your tradition or religious beliefs so you did not passed what you wished. Whatever is your reason, life lessons are cruel. Sooner or later, you will want to compensate what you missed. Then you will stuck in the trap, because you don’t know how to deal with this.

Lionel is older man, he is over 50. He never went into nightclub, and one day he joined to his nephew. He had awesome idea, to dance with young girls. You can guess that everyone laughed when he started to jump on “Wiggle wiggle” song. At the end, he was so pushy, that bodyguards kicked him out of club.

The other example is Andrea. She is over 55 and she works in civil service. Her colleagues are shocked by her clothing. She looks like cheerleader in retirement. Short skirt, golden shoes and artificial blonde hair are bad widget on her wrinkle face. Her secret came from early days, when she was teenager. Her mother forbid her to wear sexy clothes, because she was afraid that her daughter could be labelled , as easy girl. Andrea is married a long time, but her awful style is still here. 

Greenhorns are people without experiences, eternal beginners. They will start new things and it will be funny to watch. Life circus made them as clowns, to make others laugh.

7 bad habits at workplace

 

When you hold key of your privacy, lock the door. In these modern times, when “Big Brother” and bunch of reality shows rape our privacy, real art is how to hide your intimacy from unwanted trespass. One of the most dangerous area is workplace. Have you ever experienced, that you bring your job into home, and your private life at work? Maybe you are not aware of this, but if your colleagues became your therapists and your boss your shrink, you are already there.

Job interview starts with question about your marital status, but employees will ask do you have kids, or are you planning family. This is already red area, and you are not obligated to talk about your future plans. Private firms will try to expand their views about you, if you are serious candidate. You are woman, and you might have plans about kids for one year? They wish to know, how much you will be present and focused at work. I understand them, but person is on the way to turn into robot. Official phones, laptops and tablets for work at home, boss obsessed with work, and you are in trap. Your privacy died without announcement.

I was witness what kind of things people do at office, during years. 

That habits should stay at home.

Woman is washing teeth in office sink, while others are waiting in line.

Woman is washing plate , she uses toilet as dish washer.

Man is eating smelly sausage for lunch, on the office desk.

Woman is on the phone. She talk loud with her gynecologist, about her daughter who is virgin.

Woman made little garden in the floor. This vegetables grow in the office.

Man put photo of his favorite politician leader, on the office wall. 

Woman hides bottle of vodka in wardrobe. 

Story about Ingrid was on the top in office circles. Her dog was very sick. He had surgery and his days were counted. Ingrid did not want to take free days, but she was walking around and crying. She could not talk with clients and about a month she was unusable. 

Bosses could be busybodies, but you can limit their access to your privacy.

When your phone is ringing, and they ask who is, it is your personal thing if you use private cellphone.

If you get fat and boss ask are you pregnant, that is not suitable question.

What you do out of your workplace is your business.

Your personality should be separated from your work . If boss dislikes you, and your results are good, boss should not discriminate you.

Other side of this story is situation when you bring work at home. Your poor partner for sure listen your problems, maybe you have such headache which prevents you to make love with him or to relax on any way. Some bosses abuse privacy and call you at your private number. If you are on vacation, this could be especially annoying. You are in the sea, and some jerk wants something urgent. My ex colleague had habit to hide phone under rock and to “lose” signal. 

Social networks are also burglars in privacy and booby trap for your professional life.

What is not recommended to write at social networks?

Name of your workplace.

Name of your boss.

Photos with your colleagues during party, especially if you get drunk.

Details about your business project. In some cases, you will sign statement about confidence, and if you break this, you will get fired.

Toxic atmosphere appears when you mix private and professional ingredients into one cake. When you cry at work and talk with your clients from home, something is mixed. Draw your line. Also, colleagues are not interested to hear how much times your husband farted and what your kid had for homework. If you want to forward your duties on others, because your kids are naughty at home and you can’t control them, nobody will like you.  While you are at work, don’t cook , wash or drink as you are at home. Some private firms have rules to forbid even water at office desk, and if you want to smoke you have chip card for click on automatic machine. Your minutes for smoking will count into your salary. 

Once when you lock your office door, the world is yours. Maybe some people have no life outside of workplace so they enjoy to share all details at work. For your privacy is better than people know less about you. At least, they will not have many details in possible conflicts. 

When Lydia notified colleagues about her wedding, everyone waited that day. At the end, her fiance abandoned her. It was disgrace for her, she could not keep mouth closed . She was victim of mocking and gossips for few months. All because she did not lock her secrets in safe box. 

Hide your dirty secrets

 

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Human instincts are as wild animals, without control they will cause damage and danger. Sometimes words are faster than minds, and acts are faster than words. People who have power to control their basic instincts are masters of their life.

What happens with the lowest human instincts? 

What makes us different from animals? Your weakness is your slave, but if you let it out, it will be your master. 

You might be beautiful, smart, rich and successful person, but if you can’t control what is inside of you, all your life can be ruined in one moment. Simply, when you press one button, your life will explode in tiny pieces.

Margot was social worker, a woman full of compassion and ambitious. She had excellent results with her clients, they were children with problems in behavior. Everyone at workplace liked Margot, but she had secret. She was drinking during the work time. She was hiding this on very smart ways, with smell of perfume and gums, but one day she was in rush and cleaner lady found bottle in her garbage box. It was bottle of Absolute vodka. That cleaner lady had son with problems in school, he was reported as violent kid and Margot worked on his case. She made his profile and she was successful in her attempts to gain his trust. But when others discovered bottle, they were searching her wardrobe. They found alcohol in other places and Margot got nickname Bartender. She lost job after report.

 

We are humans, fragile creatures, covered with secrets, but some of us are more weak than others. 

When we lose control over our vices, they are masters of our life. Other people, who are less successful are the ones who will wait for our mistakes. It is really odd when that pretty woman get caught in wardrobe in flagranti with her old boss, he was only in panties, and she had red bra. Secretary and her boss caught in scandal, how nice subject for gossips in lunch break. Everyone will have something to say on this topic, and those who dislike grumpy boss and bimbo secretary will be the loudest. They got chance to spit on them.

If we are examples for others, we must show why we are examples. Policeman can’t gamble during his work. Priest can’t talk vulgar in front of his believers. Lawyer can’t be corrupted. How many times we read stories about drunk footballers, even they should have healthy life? As human, nobody is untouchable from addictions and vices. It depends how much self control will person use.

In this life nothing is for granted. You want to live beautiful life, but you will pay price for this. You can’t have everything, and if you want to play double roles, you must be master of silence. Hide and bury your dirty secrets that nobody can’t dig this out. We sin differently, but winners are those who hide the best their dirty secrets.

We are not in the same movie

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Did you ever wonder why is so hard to find common language with some persons? Here is nice quote : “We are not in the same movie.”

It happens on the first sight or during years, when people change their city, work, or they simply live in different circumstances. It is the same feeling as you are driving a car, and other person has no clue about it.

Two friends, Jacob and Sam talked about girls. Jacob is a virgin and Sam is playboy. Jacob thinks that Sam is using women, and Sam thinks that Jacob is very naive.

Recenty Jacob met beautiful girl Pamela. They are dating about few weeks and Jacob asked an advice from his experienced friend.

Did you have sex with her?

– It is too early, i even did not kiss her yet.

– Damn man, what are you doing, she will dump you. She will find you so boring indeed.

– I don’t like hot and easy women, i love to talk with girl, hold her hand, listen slow music and to look her into eyes.

– You must be frozen man. Go back into 16th  century. 

Two weeks later.

How did you know this Sam?

– Because i have experience buddy. Women don’t like pushy guys, but also if you don’t show her how much you like her, if she is girl of hot temper, she will think that you are looser.

– She was not women for me then. She was too wild, noisy, i almost feel ashamed of her.

Sam shown grumpy face but he did not want to say nothing more. When views are different, it is indeed hard to find common sense. Jacob had ideal vision of ideal woman in his head, and Sam was more on the ground. Once when Jacob will cross his purity line, they will understand each other better. 

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So, when someone says: “You are not on this path, don’t judge me.”, that is key of misunderstanding

How we can help person if we don’t know nothing about her or him, if we are not even close with this area?

Even worse situation happens if we poke nose, judge or complain to some people, just because they don’t fit in our vision. Open mind will try to understand, and closed mind will make another limits. That is the difference.