All shades of jealousy

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That sting will pinch you right into your heart. Your beloved partner is staring on other woman, and she is young, sexy and stunning. How do you feel? You wish to slap him or to make her vanish? Simply, you will swallow this bitterness or you will make a fight with him?

No matter how calm person is, it is hard to avoid jealousy. How does it happen? Jealousy is made of fear and envy. We afraid to lose our partner because of another person and then we feel envy toward our competition. Other followers of jealousy are insecurity, rage and anger. How much you did for him and he is acting like this? What will happen now, my relation is on insecure ground?

Jealousy might be spice to your relation if you use it properly. When couple is in long relation or in marriage, routine and boredom will attack your harmony and small dose of jealousy will help. It is good to remind your partner from time to time that you are still desirable, that other men are looking for you and you can return smile to handsome stranger. Sometimes it helps, when our partner have chance to see things with other eyes. 

Lisa and Brad were married about 10 years. Their sexual life had pattern, once in two weeks, when both found enough time between daily obligations and their work. They both chilled out. Lisa was still attractive but Brad did not notice her new skirt, new haircut or new underwear. One day Lisa met in the street her old friend from school days, handsome guy Timothy. She invited him to lunch at her home. While she was washing the dishes, Timothy said to Brad : “You are lucky man, i tried with Lisa before many years, but she was always looking friend in me. ” That words made Brad to think, when he was the last time that he imagined his wife as desirable ? In this case, Timothy helped without knowing.

Small dose of jealousy is spicy, but large amount is poison. Imagine that you are with man or woman who will complaint every day because you talked with someone at the street, because you have friends at work or you use social networks? This burden will be too heavy for you. In extreme cases, it will cause end of your relation.

We can make difference in jealousy , if we compare that feeling in colors.

These are some shades of jealousy.

White area. 

Your partner will not complain on your friends, he will allow you to drink coffee with them, to make lunch, even to make an innocent flirt with smile and sweet words. Here, kiss in cheek is the limit. So, your partner is not jealous, and maybe you want to make him jealous more?

Grey area. 

Your partner will be angry if you talk on phone with your friend from childhood, he will complain that you are too close with him. Also, why your male boss call you even in free time? You will try to explain that guys are harmless.

Blue area. 

Your guy will make conflict with other guys. Someone slap you in the butt until you were passing? Someone said nasty words to you? This is men pride, so it is not nice to comment to their girls. How would you feel that someone say to your girlfriend how hot is she, in front of you? Still you can avoid fight with ignorance or good joke as “too pity she is not your girlfriend.” In women case, only idiot women will slap butt of guy who is in company with other girl. That is filthy sign of despair. 

Red area

Your partner will make fight, without explanation. Your phone will be destroyed, your internet will not work and he will forbid you to talk with other guys, even with threats. Watch out, this is sick and paranoid. When you are into red area, runaway from there quick until you have whole teeth.

Sometimes, jealousy will be funny. You will enjoy to tease your partner because of his insecurity. This might be also your internal joke, how to make each other jealous . You can create limits. In other way, if you don’t respect wishes of your partner, if you have secret toward him and you are not cooperating, jealousy is not funny anymore. Secrets are followers of jealousy. You know how far you can go. He trusts you and he let you to drink coffee with this guy, but don’t kiss him because you are crossing the limits. The same with women, if your woman trusts you, don’t make her regret.

Jealousy is desirable spice until you increase the dose. In that case, jealousy is poison and her victims are random, she is not selective and she has no mercy.

Toxic relations – are you involved in one of those 3 types?

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Did you ever feel that you stand between love and hate toward one person? Your heart loves him, but you mind despise your choice. This happens when your partner  is humiliating you. In this way, that is Stockholm syndrome, when you are bonded with someone who doesn’t love you. This is relation between master and slave. He will not leave you, but you will give him your heart on the palm. That means, he will take from you all what he wish, and if you complain, it will get worse.
Chemistry is weird thing. Once when someone press right buttons, you will not ask what this could bring to you. That man makes you hot, you enjoy to make love with him, and you love him. If you scratch under surface, there are many failures. He is not obligated and not responsible for you, because you are the one who asked this, not he. He only accepted what you offered to him.
How you will know that you are involved in toxic relation?
 
This kind of relation could be covered with sweet words, promises, hot passion, so you will not have idea that you stuck in the trap. The more time you spent with such man, you are deeper in problems.
3 types of this relation will help you to find out are you in this danger zone.
Secret relation.
Nobody knows about you and him. He said, it must be secret because he is married, not ready or too busy for real relation. If you accept this, slavery is already here.
Relation on distance.
It doesn’t matter how many kilometers separates you. But, if he was in your city and he did not call you, he doesn’t care. If he asks from you to visit him, and he doesn’t want to pay expenses, or he never visited you, he is not interested for something serious.
Relation without guarantee.
He never talks about marriage. Until this is good , he is pleased and he doesn’t ask for more. After 10 year without guarancy , you might ask yourself, will you spend your whole life wondering. Or he will abandon you because of someone else?
Healthy relationship involves respect, loyalty, care, responsibility. By default, you don’t have to ask for this, because if he loves you, that is understandable. It is like you would ask him to bring you water if you are thirsty. If you are in toxic relation, he will make respect under question. Who are you anyway to blame him for infidelity ? He did not promise you nothing. You cried for him and wanted to be with him, so pay your price.
Darlene was in toxic relation with Bryan. They were lovers five years. He wanted to be free man, but still he wanted to have someone who will care for him. Darlene knew that they are not in classic relation, because he avoid to introduce her to his friends and family. In this case, she hoped that Bryan is just playboy who cannot change, because other women will be hurt too. But, Bryan was not the same toward every women in his life. He was gentleman when he wanted. Darlene got his bad edition. He asked her only for sex or when he was alone. She felt that it ruins her whole life. Her colleagues at work did not respect her anymore, her parents were worried and she lost some friends, because they could not listen her voluntary tragedy anymore. It was agony until the day when Darlene met another guy. Something broke in her heart when Bryan was not jealous. She realized, that Bryan indeed never cared.
Toxic relation is voluntary connection, and that is sad part. Nobody force you, but you are stubborn because only he makes you happy. Or, you are too big coward to ask something better or you think you deserve little passion and big disgrace?
In real love, heart is not poisoned with hate, revenge and jealousy. Toxic relation involves fight for survival. I am not sure, who will survive for a long time, because this is far from happy end.

What happens during marriage crises?

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Marriage is holy connection with partner, insurance of your love. This person belongs too you and ring is symbol of dedication. What happens when this ring doesn’t mean nothing and when signature on formal papers is just a formal letter, without worthiness?

Young Croatian tennis player Donna Vekić recently became subject of gossips. Accord press, she is guilty for broken marriage . She is new girlfriend of Stanislas Wawrinka, 30 years old  swiss tennis player.

His marriage came to the end and now many blame young and pretty Donna, that she is the main causer of disaster.

Typical opinion of moral policy is against woman in this triangle. Many will pull trigger on Donna, because she is 18 and she should not involve with married man. How many will blame Stanislas , who declared divorce from 10 year older wife? His explanation is, he wants to be free again.

Married men pass through crises.

It  happens on next ways:

He wants to go out with friends more often.

He wants space for himself.

He would like to meet new women.

He wish to divorce, because he wants to be free again.

It is easy to judge young girl, when it comes to disaster. His wife is older 10 years than him, and now he meets beautiful young girl. That girl is inexperienced and life is maybe only game for her, but shall we hang her because she was in the middle of marriage disaster? This is hypocrisy of society, to blame woman for all. It takes two for dance, so nobody forced this guy to hangout with Donna. She could give him signs and seduce him, but if he truly loved his wife, her odds would not be good. He would maybe use her for one night stand and make it secret. That is how some men do, when they want everything, good wife and hot mistress. 

It is not possible to be free as single man if you are in marriage. You took some responsibility and obligations. Married man who is dating with other women is just a jerk. Sooner or later someone will see him and then it will be beginning of the end. Wife will blame other women, because that is easier. You can’t kill bitch because she is younger, more slim or more pretty than you are. You must ask yourself, why your husband lost interest for you? Is there anything to keep you together in this marriage?

Even you have ring on your finger, it could be on fire when you reveal that your husband is prince charming for some other girls. You can slap her or spit on her, but husband will escape anyway, if there was nothing left to keep you together more.

Forbidden love with spouse

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Many articles talk about women who fall in love in married men. They are considered as victims, delusional or marriage breakers. Words are not saved, so slut, whore or bitch is not rare name for mistresses.

What happens when situation is an opposite? When single man falls in love in married women, how society look at this? Famous Richard Branson waited one year that his present wife divorce from her former husband. He loved married woman.

What kind of men can fall in love in married woman and got involved with her?

Men who had no luck in love. His partners are always wrong, and he is already so disappointed that he gave up from love.

Playboys. He ask perfect opportunity for relation without obligation, and married woman can’t commit to him cause he is already obligated to her husband.

Teenagers and young man in twenties. Their fantasies in bed starts with married teachers, neighbors or his friend’s mother.

Man with Peter Pan syndrome. He is afraid to commit and married woman is ideal for this.

Men in midlife crises. He is already divorced or he never got married, but he needs warm body next to him.

Now, this kind of affair has some rules, and if mad husband will not catch you , you need to stick to some rules:

As married man, spouse will not divorce in mostly cases. She needs refreshment, not commitment.

Husband is in first plan, so forget about spending holidays and vacation with her. 

Don’t make her feel guilty. You knew she is married so you have no power as her husband.

Don’t be jealous. She will sleep with her husband too, at least she is a wife.

Expect messages and calls in unpredictable time. She can’t know when she is free. 

In such situation, society will pity for man who got involved with spouse, and judge her who is cheater and marriage breaker. In situation where man is cheater, society will judge his mistress. In both situations, women are in worse positions, because mistress is a slut as cheating wife is a slut.

I wish to say, man can also found out himself in difficult situation. What started as sex can finish as broken heart. Man’s heart is also not from stone, he can really fall in love in spouse who is already taken. Then, what’s next? Do you want this woman because she is forbidden or you really want to steal her to be your wife?

In some situation fooled women fails and chose donkey instead of horse. She got divorce, but her lover is not interested for her anymore. It was great until here was drama and forbidden space. Now, when here are dishes and bills, all is routine, too much obligations and this is not funny anymore.

That happens with affairs, you never know when it could be worse. If you cut of affair and your husband still doesn’t know anything, you are saved. If you continue this road to hell, you can expect everything. Two or three broken hearts or another marriage? Time will show until you still have it enough guts to wait.

 

Infidelity – this 6 causers motivate you to cheat?

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Infidelity is double cross. Once when you admit it to best friend or someone you trust, you are good material for judging. It is very rarely to find person who will try to understand your reasons . Before that, you will be subject of preaching, fake morality and people will consider you as demon. I am not saying that cheating is something to approve, but before you judge or crucify such person, read between lines.
What are the most often reasons for infidelity?
Lack of passion.
Boredom and daily routine in long relations and marriage are killers of passion. Instead of hot kiss you will look at your bills and dirty laundry.
 
Your partner is passive and takes you for granted.
Some men stop to work on relation. Once when they get paper, the rest is history and it works by default.
 
Your partner stare at another women.
This looks innocent, but in fact is unpleasent. When you are at the street, at coffee bar you feel embarrassed if your partner look at another boobs and booty and comment how sexy some women are.
 
Your partner is never at home.
He is busy with his work, friends, hobbies. 
 
Your partner thinks that you are fat.
He avoids sexual contact with you.
You went in this marriage accord your interests and financial security.
People will say, why to cheat partner, leave him. Or leave her, if she is not for you. Infidelity is indeed closed circle, because sense of cheating is not another marriage. You want to feel sparks as on the beginning of relation, you want to tremble when your partner is touching you, and when you pass through this, when your lover is in the same position as your husband, you got tired of him too. Maybe even your husband is more interesting after you get bored of lover.
I don’t justify infidelity and for sure i will not recommend this. I try to understand this, and for sure there are limits between fantasies in your mind and real things. Who did not have fantasies about another person? If we spread word infidelity in every areas, masturbating at porno movies will also be infidelity if you have partner, drinking coffee with friend will also be kind of cheating if you share with friend something what you can’t say to your partner.
There must be special bond which connects you with your partner, and reason why you reject another men even you have desires. Something what you have only with him. And if you judge people who forgive infidelity, would you ruin your whole relation or marriage because of one night stand, because your partner mistaked?
Infidelity is matter of personal deal between partners. Only you know how much you can handle. In some countries, infidelity is punished by death penalty. Law decided instead of people and woman who cheats her husband will stay without head. So there is no much space for thinking. In free countries, women will take a risk . Some will open internet pages and talk with sexy strangers when husband is not at home. This is indeed innocent, ask how much women have virtual friends, and ask how much would leave partner because of internet lover. Not many. Some will say that their trips in unknown areas make their marriage better.
Morality is extended value, if you look from another angle. Your friend will maybe judge you, but inside her mind is envy because other men look at you too. Some people will gossip others, and they will be frustrated because they can’t do the same. Soap operas, Big brother and many reality shows made new opportunities for people and relationships are tempted by forbidden fruit.
Infidelity is poison in small doses. You can stop when you wish if is not too late.

Butterflies in stomach

Your love story is not finished when you get marry. Boredom , habits and routine will wait in the shadow and after many years you will ask for refreshment. These days when your heart skipped beat because you saw that beautiful woman are behind you, and now you see bunch of unpaid bills instead of your sexy partner. I read your mind now : you wish to turn back time and to travel in the age of your youth.

How to activate butterflies in stomach again?

Typical conversation between two men sounds like that:

Look dude i don’t know about you, but i don’t remember when i had last time good sex. I have no time and space because of my kids, and even when my mother in law is take care for them, my wife is too tired to have sex with me. “

“I know what you mean. That is why i watch porno movies because i can’t wait my turn. And i have own collection of some magazines for adults. “

How to give colors to your grey marriage? Is it really true that boredom became master with time, or you choose wrong partner?

Some people will always ask for a challenge. Others will prefer safety, which is often connected with boredom. 

Imagine that you have house with fireplace, you watch television and around you are your wife, kids, cat or dog. 

Here are few different ways about this image:

Person A. This is happiness and love. I could not imagine nothing more happier than this. 

Person B. How dull! I would escape through the window. I hope dog would not follow me.

Person C. This is cozy shelter for few days, but after this i would like to go on fresh air.

What is a secret of long , successful relation or marriage? Maybe you think that your partner cannot surprise you anymore, because you know him or her so well. You are wrong.

Look this ten steps.

1. Don’t rush on the start of relation. Don’t say i love you immediately.

2. Slow down with making love. You have a time so delay this as special event.

3. Never introduce your love with your parents or relatives at the beginning. It is red alarm that you want to put person in the cage. 

4. Don’t avoid conflicts. If you agree with everything what your partner says, you are part of him, and your personality doesn’t exist. So you are boring.

5. Travel around from time to time. Adventures will bring new light into your relation.

6.  Help your partner with problems. If your wife has problems at work , listen her and give advice. Nothing makes couple more close than togetherness during crises. 

7. Change your style from time to time. Your partner doesn’t have to look same hairstyle and clothes whole life. You can make some changes for good. There is no need that your husband remember you as cheerleader in short skirt even when your legs are not so perfect anymore.

8. Create space only for yourself. Nothing is more seductive than person who loves to be alone from time to time. Distance is hot. If you play tennis in Wednesday, your wife can wait you at home in new underwear. That is more exciting than talking about money debts.

9. Share your success with partner. That is aphrodisiac. No matter did you get new job or win on gamble, your partner will see you in new light. Nobody wants to lose person who brings happiness.

10. Take care for pets. Cats, dog, birds, that cute creatures connect people more than you know. If you don’t talk with your partner, at least you can ask him to feed cat, for a start. 

Even we meet many people during life, and we can fall in love so many times, here is just one person with whom we can spend life. Some will get divorce and try again with new partner, but yet you will not change your wife and husband as you change socks.  That is why relation needs patience and strong nerves. Once you felt butterflies in stomach because you saw that beautiful woman. She smiled and you lost your mind. Now you feel butterflies again, but not only because she smiled. It happens because she made your whole life worthy. 

Judgmental society- how we categorize people?

Society likes marks, because it is easier to categorize people. When we ask for our identity, society offers us a label. For example: “old maid”, “reactive woman” or “divorcee”. Mistress, whore, slut, all that beautiful names for single woman who is not married and did not gave birth.

Moral majority will offer us inappropriate label, we will get explanation and warning, also maybe notes and deadlines how to fix our situation.

 

You should have children until 30. You should marry until 25. What, you are not married yet?”

“You have no reason to live if you have no children. “

“There is good opportunity for you to become my mistress.”

“You must be lesbian because you did not marry yet.”

Superficial people will never ask why woman is not married. They are not interested for a reason, they just see facts and make own ideas. 

There are lot of stories in background about someone’s status. Some people are playing on all or nothing. They made vision of life how it should be, and if their realization don’t fit to their wishes, they chose to be single.

Wow, why should i marry for old fart Steve, just because i am not young anymore?

I wanted to marry for Peter, but Peter did not want me, so should i hang myself?

 

There is a beauty of freedom of choice. Better to jump from the window, than let others to be rolled on scales – that was famous Balzac’s quote . Old society in Paris even understood other choices, but  some people nowadays will rather use mockery.

Some women are different. Women who are not married and mothers, in long relations without paper or single, are on the list for mockery label. Some society’s circles will not accept them as dignified members, because it doesn’t fit to their standards.

 

On other hand, who says that every marriage is perfect? Labels should be given to wives who stay in marriage even their husbands cheat them, something like “married woman cheated by her husband”. 

Some women married from wrong reasons as “woman who rush in marriage because she is pregnant”, “that woman caught last train, so she is in marriage now” etc. etc. 

Let’s see how will some people feel when they recognize their spots?

Why is marriage challenge for partners?

Marriage is crown of every relation. When you meet someone special and fall in love, after some time next step will be that you want to spend life together.

Sounds simply? 

Every third marriage in Croatia ended with divorce. 40% marriages fall apart because partners had no children. 

Some reasons are :
                                 – money problems

                                 – vices (gambling, alcohol)

                                 – infidelity

                                 – abuse

                                 – unemployment or losing job

                                 – one partner doesn’t want children


The city with biggest number of divorce in last year was Vukovar. Every second marriage in Vukovar ended with divorce. 131 weddings  and 68 divorces in Vukovar. Next, city Pula has 223 weddings and 105 divorces.  

The city where in 2012  weddings did not happen at all is Saborsko. There people live in family houses with many family members, grandma, grandpa, mother, father and their children on the same place, so this is big possibility for conflicts. Besides, economic and financial situation there is poor.

When you fall in love, everything seems beautiful.

Passion, excitement, you see your partner in best edition. You don’t see your partner in toilet, bathroom, you don’t wash his laundry, his mother cook for him. Also, men don’t see women without makeup, everyone has own space and time and they see each other when they wish.

The moment you must share your space with someone, problems start. Your mother will not cook for you and you will may not like lunch made by your wife. Your mother will not wash and iron your underwear. You are not free to go with your buddies and spent night in striptease club because you have obligations toward your partner. If you have children , things became more complicated. You will have more responsibilities and obligations. So marriage must eliminate selfishness and immaturity. This is other kind of love and the question is are you ready to share your life on that way.

If you are not ready, consequences are here. 

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As frustrated partner you can:

– abuse your wife/husband

– fall in love in someone else

– avoid your obligations on every way

-drink to drown your problems in alcohol

So, there are many obstacles to establish marriage, but also to keep marriage alive. When partners love each other, this is not enough. Partners must look in the same direction. Make plans together, take decision together, solve problems together, in fact this is love. It is easy to have sex and to say i love you, but what when you are on much harder level?

Marriage is as jungle. Only the bravest and the strongest survive. 

As married couple, you need to share bills, to look at each other every day when you are not so glamorous , deal with problems with children if you have them, decorate flat and many other things. If both sides contribute, it means you love each other. When one side start to sabotage this community, problems are here. You can’t drag all the burden alone.

That is why for marriage needs both, but for divorce is enough only one.

Bodyguard with licence

Basic instinct of every man is to care for his woman. Either to bring her food or drink, either to protect her from another men. Mature man will know how to face it with some jackass who wish to stole their girlfriend, but young guys will be in dilemma, how to protect their honor and not to hurt their better half with aggressive behavior. 

I heard story about this topic from my friend. He went to date with younger girl and they visited night club. While he was in toilet, she was in the corner, dancing and waiting for him. Suddenly, other guy approached her and offered her drink. She accepted. When my friend came back, his girlfriend was chatting and drinking cocktail with unknown guy. He reacted impulsive, he wanted to get out and fight with the competition. But, when that other guy accepted invitation , he suddenly gave up. My friend explained this : “Why to beat somebody because my girl accepted his drink? She should not accept this because she came with me. At least, she pretended that i am not here.  “

The biggest problem you will ever have with men is when you do things under their back. Of course, you are not his dog and he can’t put you on leash, but you need to share trust with him. If you are with him, why to flirt with others, even in front of his eyes? 

I remember situations when i was waiting my husband to bring me beer. Guys sometimes approached to me, to check am i alone, with friends, or boyfriend. I would smile and show that i am not alone and always rejected drinks. I am not poor and can buy my own drink. When you accept drink from stranger, this is invitation for talk. So, he broke ice and now you are available for him, no matter even you are not single. When you go out with your partner, you will not be all the time together with him. This is normal, he will go to toilet, say hello to his friends, bring you drink. You will say hello to your friends. You are not his sticker, and sometimes it may cause confusion, because guys are trying to catch some free woman. If you are attractive, chances are bigger that you might get into trouble.

Once i saw beautiful girl in night club, she was dancing alone while her partner was sitting at the stairs. He was not interested for techno dance, so he was just watching from the main floor. Guys were approaching her, one by one, to talk, even to be rejected, just to try. She was kind but cold. It was professional kindness, i could almost read this “do not disturb” title on her face. 

On other hand, which guy will threat to other guy, who only tried to get attention? If rival is decent, if he knows limits, there is no problem with word no. If you have bad luck, you will meet someone as Joe. Joe was guy i used to know. He adores dance, and he was spinning around every girl on the floor. He did not even ask is girl without partner. So he got some punches in the face. 

Sometimes, girl will cause incident, just to feed her ego.


If you are not that guy who will fight as Steven Segal, she will call you pussy or sissy. You need to use common sense if you wish to punch other guy, is he really deserved this? What if he is her boss from work or just nerd from school who wanted to remain her on exam?

Now, in which situation is necessary to start fight?

When other guy doesn’t give up from flirt with your girlfriend.

When other guy pushed you. So he already started.

When other guy insulted your girlfriend.

When other guy try to kiss your girlfriend.

In this world, not everyone is gentleman. Some men are jerks and it is hard to explain that woman in short skirt  is not available for everyone. She dressed up for her partner, not for everyone in the club. She did not want to challenge you, she wanted to be pretty for her partner. Glass of alcohol, angry guy and fight can start. Are you bodyguard with licence or you just slapped wrong guy, who only wanted to say hello to your girlfriend?

Attitude on high heels

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How many times i heard word about me : “You are bossy. ” This sentence came from people who don’t make difference between someone who give orders and someone who has attitude. Control freaks are people who want to have nose in everything and watch every step to check their partners. Bossy woman is the one who hold every corner in her house and doesn’t let husband to give another, different opinion.

When someone is superficial and like to jump with conclusion, it doesn’t make difference. Corny men love to make excuses that some woman is nasty if she fights for her place under the sun.

As woman with attitude, i don’t let certain things.

Man who yells on me and insult me is not welcome.

Man who swears and try to humiliate me is also not welcome.

Man who look at me as sex object is under my standards.

Man who mocks me and try to make fool of me is also out of my standards.

I love to make golden middle between cuckold and macho man, so my type is gentleman with attitude. This is kind of man who let compromises  but who doesn’t want that women use his good intention to make cuckold from him. He has his limits and his principles.

I noticed one interesting thing when i talked with some men with traditional values. They will complain about feminism but when woman offers him to drive them, to pay bill or to invite them in her flat to spend night, they will have nothing against. Suddenly, independent woman is not obstacle anymore, because she has car, flat and money and they don’t need to take effort to care for her. She can do all alone. She can even come to visit him in another country, because she is strong woman without fear  and able for adventures.

Real bossy woman is not someone who could be my role model, because rough dominant wife often finish with kind of cuckold and later ask for lovers.

Bossy woman is the one who is always right.

She make decisions in her marriage without asking her husband.

She decide about children without asking approval of her husband.

She underestimate her coworkers, colleagues and subordinated people at work.

She is the one whose word is the last word.

When someone tells you that you are bossy, it makes you wonder how much this person is educated. That person see only black and white side of this story. This kind of man is maybe raised in family where mother was silent, and father abused her. Maybe his mother wanted to educate herself, and father forbid her because her duty was to care for children. When man start to compare you with his mother who was totally different, you need to prepare him for changes. Some men will even accept your attitude, but then they will mark you as mistress.  Such guy will say :”Well, your attitude is indeed sexy, but i don’t like that woman take first step and fight with me. It could be great for sex, but not for marriage. “

Is that surprise when traditional man, who find traditional wife suddenly gets bored and find wild mistress? He wants to have all, but paddle has two ends and that is why he start to sit on two chairs.

Real, mature man will accept woman who is able to be herself at first, not to be shaped accord his priorities. He will not judge her by her past, he will not accept to be her toy, but also he will listen her wishes and try to make deal. Mutual respect will erase differences, as mutual loyalty will unite two different attitudes.