Strategies in love relations

What is love without fantasies and strategies? Sometimes it is real race, and we compete who will win. Men are simple, they give us simple signals. If man says “i like you”, he likes you. If he wants to marry you, he will ask you.

Many women are misguided by thinking that men give us double signals. Maybe when they are teenagers and immature, until they have no experience. Little kid will tease girl because he likes her. When mature man wants to seduce woman, she will know it because he will clear expose his intentions.

Women are different. Indeed our nature is more confusing. That is theory of seducing, how we seduce man by words . We want to give them message, that we are not easy and that they must work hard to get us.

Girl likes guy and he invites her for a date.

Possible answers:

i don’t know for today, but i will let you know soon

– now i am busy , i will tell you later

– yes i will go with you, but don’t take it as relation immediately

– maybe

– ask me again and you will know

Games are made by women. 


When guy asks for sex, then game goes to higher level.

Women will reply:

i am not ready

– i have headache

– it is not the right time

– if you are serious, you will wait

– do you want to take advantage?

– do you love me?

Women will hesitate, make excuses,  buy time to get a guy for long relation. Every woman has game with more levels. The one who pass all levels wins award.

Bad player will quit in first step. Average player will try and give up. But the best players will be resistant until they got a score. It also depends about wishes and expectations. Some guys are lazy and they will rather choose more available woman, because they think their odds are better if they play on safe. Others will deal with challenges, no matter how much time they need. Man with experience will not give up on the first sight.

So what kind of player you want? 


If you deal with little boy, he is insecure and it is easy to break him. Some women like to play teacher and student game, because they feel superior in this situation. Weakness of this game is that you never know what to expect, and soon as he will get bored, you will lose. When two people are not on equal level, it is hard to make harmony.  Follower must take a step to be closer. Breakup is here when one person stayed on first level, and other is already far away on level 50. 

How to get a girl?

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Love doesn’t come by force. The main mistake which inexperienced guy can do is to push or force girl to date with him. That kind of guys are or bad mannered or violent and every girl will escape from them.

When you like someone, imagine would you be happy to be with that person without her acceptance. This is the same as you hold parrot in the cage and she wants to fly out, but you don’t want to let her go. Love is a choice, not a prison.

Some men forgot that women have choice. In old times women had card to pick their partners for dance. Ladies were choosing accord their wishes. 

I can understand man wish to catch beautiful girl, but wrong approach is to be persistent and to annoy her when she doesn’t want to.

Megan was beautiful girl and very popular in the school. Roy was crazy for her, but she did not notice him. One day he gathered his 5 friends to support him in attempt to ask her for a date. When Megan saw group of guys in front of her classroom, she was very frightened. One of Roy’s friends approached to her and started to talk about Roy and his qualities, how he is good guy and how she will not find better nowhere. She simply runaway because it was trap for her. Nobody asked her what she wants. 

Some guys feel as losers and they compare themselves with their friends who are successful in dating.

Why some guys are chosen and popular, and why others are intruders and losers?

Popular guys have some characteristic:

They are unavailable from time to time.

They are busy with other things and they don’t ask for girl 24 hours.

They will not annoy girl with desires on first sight, they will talk with her first about other things.

They will give space to her to express her wishes.

They will respect her choice.

Also they will wait until she is ready for any decision about relation.



How you will recognize pest ?


He calls you “my best girl” even you did not say even hello to him.

Once you said no and he is again near you, repeating the same question when you will go on date with him.

His jokes are old fashioned and only he laughs at this. 

He got rejection from other women too.

He can be violent or use threats. (“If you don’t want to date with me, i will tell everyone that you are slut.”)

You can get his request for virtual friendship even you don’t have common friends with him, his profile is empty and about me is hidden.

Some men forgot simple thing, that women are not toys. You can’t treat woman as your property, she is not a car to drive her when you want and how fast you want. 

Indeed love is a lottery, and if you are not good player you will be alone because you chose bad strategy.

Connection: Venus – Mars

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To understand woman you must enter into her brain and think like a woman. The same is with men. Those who balance well between differences will save relations, because our two genders are from different planets.

Let’s try to make connection between Mars and Venus. Two different planets had always problems with interactions and understandings.

So it sounds like these:

He: – I am going out tonight with my friends.

She: – What is the name of that easy woman you will meet?

He: – Did you eat all this cookies?

She: – You think i am fat, i know it.

He: – New neighbor is very kind woman.

She: – You want sex with her, i know it.

He: – Can you explain me where i could find soap in this bathroom? 

Please give me guidance, i cannot find damn soap because here are powders and creams in thousand shapes.

She: – When you will start to use parfum i bought you last year?

He: – Cristiano Ronaldo did great goal, he is genius.

She: – Do you think i don’t understand football? 

          Yes, i am sure you think i am stupid.

Men are from Mars, and women are from planet Venus. So this connection were damaged, messages could not pass to each other without error in communication. 

Women wants to hear compliments, a men like to be simple, without much explanation and hidden words. Men don’t like double meanings, and women try to pack their words before using.Women will expect compliments even they ask for honest opinion.

That is the key of every relation, try to move obstacles between Venus and Mars. 

So sometimes women must go to Mars to see from inside how is it going there, and men must visit planet Venus to see how there things look like. Rational minds from Mars will try to show practice view of things around, and emotional minds from Venus will put more emotions into their acts.

This updated connection will be faster and better if we use understanding and objective approach.

Milestone in relations

 

When relation has broke, we ask for causers. It did not happen yesterday that something was wrong. It had happened before few years, few months or we just ignored signs. Or, did you realize that you were the only one who kept this relation alive?

 

When i hear or read some articles about women who complained that their guy treat them bad, i always wonder why did they stay in such relation. What was the reason? Love, money, fear or just a habit? Then, second question would be, why guy did not break this, when he did not love as he should love his partner?

Some phenomenon i wish to talk about are forced breakups. No, this is not breakup with gun , nobody is physically injured. This is situation where guy is passive, ignorant, but he is still there and he waits for a moment when woman will say – enough. 

In this story Lidia fall in love in Patrick. They were cute couple, as she was stronger part in this relation, and he was more mama’s boy. Despite of all, they had good time together. When Lidia said that she wants breakup, all her friends were surprised. Lidia explained that Patrick never planned weekends. Patrick never bought her gift , even for her birthday, he said her to choose something in market, and he was paying bill. Lidia suggested when will they make love at first time, also her idea was that they need to live together. Patrick would say “i don’t know” and it was story of their life. One day Lidia had flu and Patrick visited his mother. Her temperature was very high so she called Patrick to drive her at emergency. Patrick said that he can’t do it this moment, cause he helps his mother with new furniture. Lidia called neighbor to help her. When she recovered, she said Patrick to pack his things and move out from her flat.

This what some women do, stay in relation where is no actions, no plans and no future. 

Why guys stay in relation when they indeed don’t care for a woman?

They have safe sex with one partner.

They have safe shelter, kind of home.

They have friend and partner in the same box.

They have someone to cuddle their ego.

Now, question is, who should run first? Woman who is damaged, or man who is passive? I think many woman wait for a final event, something what would shock her. This shock effect, as betrayal, affair, disloyalty is just a milestone. So, now is enough. Now i got you. Now, we are at the end of this road. 

I understand, to break with someone who doesn’t give a shit about you must be hard if you love this person. You are going against your heart. He is also not in good position, because he knows he will hurt you. Well, he hurts you all the time, so breakup is a crown. Isn’t it better to jump from the window, than to roll over the steps, as the last hero of masochism? 

 

Guy accord standards

 

Life is big basket. There are lot of things to choose, but we can’t have everything. One choice will eliminate another because it is impossible to pick up all. Also, we have standards. If you close your eyes and imagine what’s your priorities, your vision is made by this standards.

Person with higher standards is not always happy, but also is not easy to approach. If you hear that man prefers big standards, that he is picky accord women for dating, it sounds somehow interesting, because every woman will think that she is better than others. Standards start the race and competition is here.

When you fall in love in picky guy, you know what to expect. He will be yours or not. At least, you will feel special and not every woman should take your place. An opposite, when man involve with many women, you will never know how long your relation will last. That women are numbers, they can be ugly or old, but everyone can throw you out of race.

How to recognize picky guy?

He will be on abstinence some period, because he can’t go in bed with every woman he meets.

He will be busy with other things so women who try to capture his interest will not succeed.

Sometimes, he is alone with himself.

He is kind and decent, but he will reject you if you are not accord his standards.

He is the one who will say “i can be your friend only.”

He is self confident and he doesn’t need bunch of women to prove his value.

Roberta, Xenia and Sylvia were three friends, always together in night club. Brian was involved with all three girls. Every month he found new target for his hunting. Girls were disappointed and furious at each other, but Brian was not guy for serious relation. He was insecure and it was his way to reach his values. 

Sometimes, women expect that their man will reject or even insult their competition just to make them feel better. Women like to feel special, but with guy as Brian nobody can’t feel privileged. There is no bigger disappointment when you found out that you were just “one of million” in eyes of your beloved man. You thought that you mean world to him, and that slut is now on your place. Sounds bad, isn’t it?

When you give heart to man, open your eyes. Your heart is on his palm now, but he can throw it into garbage box, together with other women there. You have your standards, but this guy doesn’t fit, so don’t give him more benefits until he deserve it.

Big cat woman and dependable man

When strong woman met weak man, we in Croatia love to say that he is cuckold. Woman will hold every angle in the house, and he is her little mouse, ready to be on service.

This combination is not connected with physical look, this is about characters. Some men really needs babysitter, mother or granny, but not woman as life partner. 

If you think that weak man is good and sweet guy, you are wrong. Cuckold is not good guy, he is just an conformist and person spoiled from childhood, he is person not able to make important decision because his wife is a boss. In some cases this man will not work, he will wait his wife to come back from her job and to earn much money. 

How to recognize cuckold?

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– he cries more than woman

– he is afraid of conflicts with other men

– he has habits to blame others for his mistakes

– woman is usually cheating him, but he has no idea

– usually, mother has dominant role in his life

Bridget was woman in middle ages and she was almost never at home. Her husband Dan used to cook, clean and wash laundry , and when she needed something from market she used whistle.  Everybody laughed to them, but Dan never complaint. He had no job, she was earning money and their roles changed. He was always quiet and Bridget was noisy. She talked around that they marry from interest, because she wanted  to get over first man in her life who did not propose her.

When woman is dominant, and man is under her power, it reminds of game with cat and little mouse. She is chasing him, she plays with him and later she will grab him and swallow. He is her trophy. 

Why should any man allow this?

Well, some men love to live as kids whole life. They will find older woman who will bring her money, who will take care of them as their mother used to do. Some men can’t grow up, because life is not only sweet lullaby and they will not listen only sweet words all the time. 

When weak man realize that he must fight for love, invest and contribute, he will rather give up. It is too hard, too difficult, why to bother?  Maybe he wanted beautiful and smart woman, but it was too hard to deal with her. So this is easier way, to choose woman who will control everything. Alpha woman will pay bills, and pussy man will be at home, as her backup. 

Everything has a price, so this little mouse will accept to live in the trap for exchange to his comfortable life. He is like child in the cradle, when his mother sang lullaby and life was without problems. Now he sees his wife as new mother, who will take care for him.

Man’s world

 

What is more sexy than strong, dominant couple? Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Carla Bruni and Nicholas Sarkozy, David Beckham and Victoria Beckham are examples of progressive couples, with independent attitude, but strongly connected together. They are not competition to each other, there is no jealousy on popularity, also they are not so innocent and faithful, but all their failures made perfect combination, so they understand mutual disadvantages.

Marilyn Monroe once said : “I don’t mind to live in men world, as long i can be woman there.” That means, i don’t need to drive truck or to cut my hair, but i want to express my female ideas and i wish acceptance of my views and opinions. Unfortunately, remains of old systems exists now days too, so sometimes women will feel as part of harem in Otoman emperor, when they are surrounded by men majority.

Dominant men are not realization of Stan Kowalski, who will beat desk with his fists and yell on poor wife Stella in movie “Tram called desire”. 

What is real dominant man, and when women will consider him as sexy?

Man with manners. Manners are hot thing, because when man makes you important and when you can feel as lady, you will feel special. When we women feel special, we are ready for all.

Man who knows what he wants. This will include eliminations of things which he doesn’t want, but you know where you are standing with him.

Man who respect his mother, colleagues, sister, female friends. If he respects them, he will respect you too.

Man who knows to apologize and to forgive. That means his soul is greater than his ego.

Man who ask you about your wishes and needs and who will listen you while you are talking. Nothing is more turn off than man who stare in his cell phone or television when you explain to him why you are depressed these days.

Some guys have wrong thinking about what makes them men. Especially if they are immature or inexperienced, or too young, they will think that real man is someone as Hulk or Johnny Bravo. Such perception is just an inheritance from their parents, or society where they live.

See how should men world look like, in visions of some primitive men.

When man woke up, woman should serve him breakfast. House must be clean, without piece of dust. Woman must smile because man doesn’t want to see grumpy face. She can’t complain, because he has no time to listen to her. Also, she should be silent, because dog is barking, and woman is not here to talk and bark, she is here to listen to her husband. When husband wish, she will talk, but without swearing, and she will confirm his opinion. It is desirable that woman is not too educated, because man is the one who knows all, and with too much education woman can’t find husband. Knowledge is man business. If man is unfaithful, this is call of mother nature, because men cannot be pleased with just one woman. His wife should forgive him and understand him. Also, if woman is unfaithful, she needs kick in the ass. There is no forgiveness for her act and she is a whore. Woman should be mother, because if woman has no children, she is unworthy, devilish and bitchy. 

Now days Stanley Kowalski is reborn, between some guys who regret for old times. The problem is, what when Stanley Kowalski meet woman who will not tolerate his behavior? He will get hard lesson.

If this is men world,  there should be real men, not savage people who will not understand women needs and wishes. This is not only their fault, this is mainly fault of their mothers, who taught them that woman should sit in the corner and wait for her punishment.

Dominance is indeed sexy if it comes in right doses and in right areas. 


There are things which woman don’t want to do alone, so they need men help. Also an opposite, some things men can’t do without women. 

Things are changing, so we laugh in modern times to some old standards, as we will laugh in future to some rules of behavior which still exist. Once upon a long time, hot tempered woman was exposed as bad example and ashamed in public square if she participated in conflicts. Everybody could spit on her. 

Today  you can still insult women, but they will fight back. 

Proposal time – are you waiting too long?



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Give me ring and i will believe that you love me. Woman who want to get marry would say this. There comes a time when love stories and promises are not good enough. You spent few years and more with someone, and you want commitment. This is not just a piece of paper where your partner will sign his name, the moment when you will take his surname and get into marriage. This is kind of honor and respect. Your man is ready to spend life with you, he choose you to follow him in his bad and good moments. He gave up from other women, he is not in the hunting zone anymore.

Women dream about weddings. This is kind of ceremony where you will have great wedding gown, ring and you will be queen of the night. Your family and friends will see that you found Mr. right and you will share your happiness with pleasure.

It is familiar that many men have fear from commitment, especially from marriage. Wow, that is it. I will not have sex anymore, i give up from all this chicks, i found woman for a lifetime. I can almost see tears in their eyes. Their single friends will tease them, welcome to the cage of marriage.

 

Why are men afraid of marriage?

They think they are still young.

They feel they are not ready.

They don’t want to sacrifice their freedom.

If they had bad experience with obligations and women, this will be obstacle.

When men don’t want to propose his woman, he is indeed crucified between two fires. Here is battle between angel and demon. Angel will say to him that he will lose perfect woman for him if he doesn’t decide. Demon will say that he will lose opportunity for many sexy adventures with bunch of beautiful women. This is kind of roller coaster. Up and down. How will this race finish, it depends how much woman has patience for her partner.

Betty was 11 years in relation with Richard. They started as young couple, she was 18, and he was 24. During years Richard found all kind of excuses not to get marry. First his grandma die and it was not the moment. Then he was studying to graduate and again it was not the moment. Then he was searching for a job, he said that he doesn’t want small wedding and he had no enough money for big celebration. Then he quit job because he was in conflict with his boss. Betty was patient and she believed that Richard will be ready one day. One day she was babysitting her niece on the playground. She was playing with little girl and she met man in the park who was babysitting his nephew. They started to talk and that man said that Betty with little girl is the most fabulous scene he ever saw. He said to her how wonderful mother she could be. After few weeks, they started to date and Betty left Richard . Betty soon got married for this guy from the park.

What kind of choice has woman when her partner doesn’t want to propose her?

She can leave him and find another.

She can calculate with situation. 

Tell him that you have many fans, go out with your friends and maybe your partner will afraid of losing you.

She can stay in this situation and hope that he will not leave her one day because of other woman.

Whatever you decide, think about your priorities. What is more important to you? You want family or you want to keep your man even he doesn’t want family? What would hurt more, losing chance to have family, or losing your man?

The biggest problem is time. You can calculate if you are young woman, from 25-30 . Once when you are over 30 and near 40 , your decision doesn’t depend only on you. Your fertility will be smaller with years and if you delay with decision time will decide instead of you.

 When you are waiting for right time to settle down, it is sometimes like you are waiting for Godot. Samuel Beckett wrote is his novel “Waiting for  Godot” about two men who are only sitting and waiting for mysterious man to change their lives. He never came.

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Perfect jerk

 

If you ask some women did they met Mr. Perfect, for sure there will be stories to tell. Who is Mr. Perfect and what he represents? 

Do you remember guy who always have the most expensive clothes, fast car and all women are on knees, some of them are screaming when he appears because he is irresistible? Also, he is son of his father, rich entrepreneur who has factory, firm or some private business and he has everything to be proud of? 

The problem with such guys is because many of them think world is under their feet, and they just need to grab this. Thomas is son of familiar local gynecologist and when some girl would get pregnant with him, he sent her to father, on abortion. He is not ready to have family, yet. Thomas really get bored because everything is too easy for him, on the palm. Sexy women, lot of money, many opportunities for job, and he is dying for challenge. 

Another story comes out from Andrew. His father has apartments on the sea, few coffee bars and Andrew doesn’t need to work, he is just having fun in one of that bars, by teasing poor waiters who work for him. Every weekend Andrew finds woman for sex, when she is enough drunk, he takes her into his flat, which is near bar. Another day, Andrew pretends that nothing happened and he doesn’t reply on phone calls. One day he finished in bed with Iris. She was not type of easy woman, she spent days in studying for a lawyer, but one exam was very hard and she was very stressed. She get drunk in Andrew’s cafe bar. They had sex and as usually, another day Andrew did not notice her. Iris was hurt and she cried a lot, she called him on phone, and he replied after many calls, with one sentence : “I am rich, i can do what i want, so leave me alone. “

After one month two guys, friends of Iris, visited Andrew in his favorite bar, to speak with him. One of them said : “Listen jerk, she got pregnant and you are the father. So if you will not speak with her i will break your nose. ” Andrew was in fear so he called Iris to ask her what is going on, but she did not reply on his call. He had nightmare because she was silent next days, and her friends were watching him from every corner. Finally, Andrew approached her in night club. They talked and Irish said to him : “Listen idiot, i am not pregnant, but you are piece of shit and this is lesson for you to learn about respect. Now, get out from my sight, because i don’t want to see you never again. “

What money can’t buy is clear conscience. 


Andrew was so perfect guy, handsome , rich, popular, but he did not see nobody else except himself. From that day, he started to think different, because he felt unpleasant. Something rock his perfect world. Until then, he was main star with fun club. 

When we think that we have everything, someone will remind us that we still miss something, especially if we are so cocky, selfish and superficial. Egomaniacs forget that wheel of fortune is spinning, and some day they may be on the bottom. Will they find way out to the top again ?

Mr Wrong

 

The main subject of many female conversations will be about love. Did you find perfect match, who is he, how long are you together and when you will get marry for him. If you are happy, friends will listen you and go to next point, because happiness is boring and they want to hear about problems. If you caught Mr. Wrong, you are ideal partner for coffee time with disappointed women. 

It is not first time that women kick out from their circles someone who is happy. Well, Sandra found good husband, what we will talk with her? Sheila has perfect marriage, there is nothing to add. Suddenly, here is big abyss between single and married women, and married women should be guilty for their cosy life, because they are benefited. Even worse, why guy pick Sheila, not you? You are better than her, she was so slutty and indeed stupid, so why she? If Sheila wants to give you an advice, you will get offended, after all, who gave her right to mock you? 

My office roomate made big list of women who are not married on my workplace. She was happy because she is not the only one who is single. Even better, she found more than 20 women in forties who never got married. She brought an important conclusion : “They are more happy than those who are married. ” On other list were women in cohabitation and in long relations, and they were also subject of her jealousy, because they have someone to share life, and she is alone. So she chose to stick with those who are single, to feel more safe from rude objections.

This appearance has deeper roots. 

Why some women always catch wrong guys and end up single?

Big patience.

Patience is wonderful value, but only when you are going into right direction. If you give too much chances to wrong guy, you are not good person, you are idiot.

You are time killer.

If you spent too much time to wait guy who is just flirting with you, you are time killer. Your doors are opened only for him and others stucked between them.

You are transmitter of wrong signals.

Are you forgiving all the time? Did you forget when he cheated you, punched you or lied to you? Your message to him is clear. He can do to you everything he wants.

Nobody is enough good for you.

It is ok to have your standards, but when you start to eliminate guys because of small things as bad shirt and wrong choice of music, your circle of candidats will be very small. After all, even if you find this perfect man, who said that he wants you?

You want someone who is taken.

Married men are not good choice. Also, guy who loves someone else, even he is not in relation, is also not good catch. If he is focused to bring back his ex or he is quietly suffering for other fatal woman, he will not notice you. You can try, but give yourself deadline.

You think that he is your problem solver.

That is wrong step. When you date with guy and start to treat him as shrink who can solve your money debts, depressions or conflict with best friend, he will runaway very fast. You must be independent person with strong mind, able to solve own problems, because only then this guy will feel special. 

Let me back to the start of this story. Sheila, married woman became target of envy and jealousy between her single friends. But, one of them, Carmen,  was ready to listen her advice. Carmen was single, but not desperate. She asked Sheila how she managed to be happy with her husband. 

“You just did first step, Carmen. You are ready to listen others without jealousy and envy, it means you are focused to your problems, not to ruin other happiness. “

If your followers were despair, jealousy and envy, you are on wrong path. If you are ready to accept your happy friend as your lucky sign, your mind is opening. She is not your threat, she is more an example that men are not pigs, as you might believed. This is logical answer on your questions. If you look on the wrong side of mirror, your choice is Mr Wrong. But, if you open your eyes, Mr Wright will be your possible catch, not just prince from dream.