Life in blog sphere

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“How is it going on blog? Are you earning a lot? ” My friend asked me this before a long time, and said also : “I would like to write blog, too. “

I did not want to discourage her and break her illusions. Writing blog is not simple how it looks. Mostly, people live in dreams that they will be popular over night and that they will learn a lot of money.

If someone ask me how much i earn, i will frankly say : nothing. I did not want to pay domain which is too expensive , to monetize my blog. I have regular job and i have no time to visit many blogs and to pull people on the sleeves. I gave them freedom to read me if they like my posts. Also, i don’t let people to promote themselves on my blog page. I think everyone should pay promotion if they wish.

I am person who will never pretend. If i comment your content, it means i really like this. I am not person who will put thousand likes on your post and then say : “Wow, now look at my blog. ” This is old trick, we all know that such “admiration” indeed means that i did not read your content and that i only wanted to be noticed.

Another thing which every beginner at blog afraid are haters. Well, i must wake you up. There are no haters, there are only silent, ignorant people. Believe me, millions of bloggers are on Internet, and if you gain haters, it means they read you. So, you should be grateful for haters.

I want that you pay attention on chatters. Yes, that are those desperate people who come under your post, without reading it, and then comment how they spent day.  So, i had “pleasure” to read chat under my post about “man who lost his mom in storm. ” My deep condolence, but i am not so merciful that i will let therapy under my blog post. This is not place for this, and yes, therapists are well paid.

Also, don’t listen to people who try to make you guilty. “Oh, you are so rude. Why we can’t post links under your blog. We are all equal here. ” No, equity and equality are two different things. I did not give you permission to post your links, but i did not do the same at your blog. How would you feel in the case if i post about football under your religious post? Because, i am big football fan, i will post about Neymar and Messi under your prayers, because we are all equal?

Now, it is not all black, so i must say thanks to some sincere people who got my posts serious and inspired me with their stories. So, if i post story about broken heart, and you write about partner who left you, you are welcome. Why not to share your story (without link, of course). I am happy if my post wake up your memories, if my post made you smile or if you are wondering about your feelings.

In blog sphere everyone can find smart people who are very friendly. They will offer you page to share your links and to follow each other. I will do it when it comes time.

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Here is something what i very like to use, spam tool. When i see that comment is out of topic, i simple open trash box. Yes, you can write critics, but you can’t go out of topics or invite me to use some pages which will bring me viruses. I love my computers and phone, enough not to open it.

Blogging is bloody work. Some people will try to educate you, to preach you, to mock you, others will just ignore you or try to spam your page. This is all in human nature, to compete, to play , to annoy. I understand even this, some people are so lonely that they don’t make difference between blog and inbox, between internet and reality.

I believe everyone of you met with boring neighbor who knock at your door even you did not invite him or her, who sat at your table even you just came from work or who is here to ask you money or thousand favors. These are some bloggers, boring neighbors.

Now after this post i will get some haters . Just kidding. 🙂

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How our problems spread claws?

 

Every misery ask for company. Trouble never comes alone. In the time of recession many people are unemployed or with small salaries. That problems spread deeper into society. As octopus, their shanks are on many places.

Poor man will became beggar or criminal. Beggars will be social problems, and criminals will fill courts and jails. Streets will be battlefield for social mess and someone can get hurt during demonstrations. Unemployed people have no money to shop. Shopping malls will be closed or empty and country will have debts. That debts will be on international level and country will fall into debt slavery.

Domino effect has terrible consequences. Problems are part of big chain, everything is crushing down. If you want to solve this situation, go on election and choose another government. Ask yourself if your voice can help.

The same thing is in private area. So many times we can hear “all troubles stick on my back.” I have spell because everything is going wrong.

When you get divorce this is not an end. It opens door to another problems. Financial side, lost trust to other possible partners and if you have children they lose mother or father. So in this way we observe problems as an album with black and grey photos. Small problem can grow into big problem. You get drown deeper and deeper.

This happens when you don’t discover causer from the start. What made your situation so bad? Let’s go back at the beginning. Now, when everything is crushing down, you can see that it didn’t come over night. Or maybe you did not want to see, you intentionally closed your eyes?

Sabina complained that her husband left her. She was in marriage 10 years. Then she dig into her memory, how she forgive to him all affairs and how he treated her. He did not show her love as she expected. She wanted to keep him so her eyes are closed. That was pink delusional view, not real picture of this situation. So why she was surprised when he declared end of their marriage?

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How to handle with our problems on rational way?

When we dig hole for our problems, we forget about solution. 
Well, no big deal, i will not pay my bills immediately, but for sure i will pay. Now my bills are bigger, i did not pay last three months, how so?

It is better to prevent, than to heal.

It can be too late, damage is already done. Then we can accuse others why that happened. It is better to kill the wasp than to deal with cluster. Let’s cope with that problems until they are small, because later you will be too weak to solve this alone.

Once when problem is here, don’t make it bigger.

Don’t fall in despair and don’t make disaster by making desperate moves.

 

Ask solution with sober mind.

Don’t try to solve anything while you are crying, drinking, or you are in the phase of rage.

Remember past solutions.

Sometimes, old problems which are solved could be great inspirational source for solving new.

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

4 steps how to be selfish

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Selfishness is a trap without bottom. Everyone will fall into this seduced by own desires and wishes. The main difference is in control, how much are we able to resist and fight against this demonic feeling?

Every human relation will consider selfishness as enemy. Mother can’t be selfish, friends can’t think only about their needs, lovers must share things and accept opinions from other side.

How you will recognize this moment when you were selfish?

Selfishness will develop from small seed into monster plant. 

First stage: you are talking only about yourself, even you are not alone. “I think we should go there. You need to accept my proposition, i know the best.”

Second stage: denials of other wishes and needs. “I think you are not so experienced to do this. Let me do this.”

Third stage: you do mistakes, but you don’t want to admit it. “What, did i mistake? It could not happen to me, i am perfect. “

Fourth stage : you will blame others that they hurt you, without seeing your contribution. “But you insulted me and i slap you. You provoke me so i broke your nose.”

When person is selfish, she will made small circle. There will be people who are made accord her wishes. That people will clap their hands for all her actions, they will confirm what she is doing even she does wrong. This circle will be closed for everyone who thinks different. Ego is creator of this circle and such person doesn’t allow criticism or different opinions. This is small world and dictator is sitting on big chair surrounded by his smarmy friends.

The most beautiful relations develop from differences. When someone make a challenge, he will not insult you. An opposite, this person tests you how much you are brave to accept differences. The best friends i made are those i had some argument at the beginning. Once when we agreed about our preferences, we made great healthy deal. 

You can see good example of selfishness at internet pages. Add me, chat with me, like my page, accept my tags. All this is nice and interesting, but what you offer for return? Silence, ignorance, arrogance or just a hint that others are too small for you?

Famous persons are celebrities because their fans made this from them. Without audience, every cocky star would be nothing. 

Selfishness will show her dark face once when you lose friends or person who is owner of your heart. This is only medicine for egoists, because then they will be finally faced with themselves. 

“Mirror, mirror who is the most beautiful woman in the world? It must be me.” Like in old fairy tale, your ego wants to kill all rivals , but the biggest rival is inside of you. 

Are we just slaves of our computers?

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During my 10 years at social networks, i noticed usual pattern . People are mostly lazy to read long posts because of various reasons.

They are busy with real life.

They are lost in bunch of many info on internet.

They prefer to read post of those who read their posts.

They prefer to comment post from people who try to please them. 

When i was in high school, reading books was stylish thing. People used to talk about Sartre, Proust and Dostojevski, instead of someone’s profiles as nowadays. Today, Dostojevski is guy you can google about. If someone read whole book , that is corny. When i put long status and expect deep thoughts, i got replies – have a nice day and hello.

It is not general statement and of course examples are always here. Well, what to say about girl with big boobs who will post thought about her too tight bra, and got 1000 likes? Then, someone will post about cancer and get silence. Someone will post about sense of life to get few comments from those who still wish to read.

We became to lazy to talk and too fast to make photos of everything. I had lunch, let me make photo of this meal. I was out of city, if i don’t post photo of awesome place, nobody will know that i was there.

How we became hypocrites and superficial society? Shall i change my style to post “hello”., “thanks” or “have a nice day” as my main thoughts?

An opposite to some guides, blogging is not business with pattern. This is state of mind and soul and only on this way is honest and various from usual greeting on the street. That is how you know that someone did not use spam and that computer by itself did not write those lines.

Did you sabotage your own wishes?

 

Did you ever ask yourself why it takes so long to get what you wish? Or why some of your wishes never became true? Maybe you wish two opposite things in the same time so one thing will abolish another.

What happens when you think like this:

I wish to change my job but i don’t want to leave my old workplace.

I wish serious relation but i can’t stop flirting.

I wish to lose my weight but i can’t stop eating candies.

I wish to have friends but i don’t want to hangout with people.

Our perception is our guideline. If we think on the way to sit on two chairs, we are not focused. Some people will think that they can do everything and that sacrifice is not necessary. Is it possible to feed wolf and not sacrify the sheep? 

Well, if you have fast metabolism you can eat candies, but question is how long. If you are married you can cheat partner, until your conscience tells stop or until he expose you as liar and cheater. You can take from people until they realize that you just take an advantage from them. You can earn from extra bonus work, but your time will be too busy for anything else than work. 

Every wish has a path. It includes discipline, selfcontrol and sacrifice. 

Lucy was flirty girl. She enjoyed to change men and to jump from one relation to another. When she met Malcolm, everything was different so she decided to marry for him. Before marriage, she wanted to be with another man, as last adventure before she settles down. Unlucky for her, she had envious friend Hilary, who saw her in infidelity action, and said all to Malcolm. Lucy lost Malcolm and it was price for her immaturity.

When you want something so badly, you will be ruthless. So, if you need to erase every person and every situation which distract you from your aim, you will do it. 

Nathan was also in situation to chose. He decided to marry and his friend Giselle hardly accepted this situation. She was calling him every day with lame excuses for conversation with him. Nathan’s fiance Melissa said to him to solve this problem, because it made mess to their plans. So Nathan block her number . He wanted to marry with Melissa and he did it.

Imagine your wish as trophy at the end of the race. You are running , and someone drags you for sleev. Will you stop to talk with that person or you will continue to run? Will you push this person because she is an obstacle? What you are ready to do, just to reach your aim and pick your trophy?How hard you wish something?

If you ask your friends how they realize their wishes , you will hear something like this:

“I am now slim because i gave up from candies. I exercise until i managed to do this.”

“I love my husband. So i said to another guys to go away from me.”

“I could not stand my job so i left. It was not easy but i don’t regret.”

“I did not trust people but i gave chance to new people in my life. Now i have friends.”

Reality is not fairy. You will not close your eyes to make a wish and wait for magic stick. First, you will pay your price , On this way you show how important is something for you. Meeting with reality is a deal. Shake your hands and give your deposit.

Is your soulmate your ideal partner?

 

As beginners in romantic relations, we first make fantasies about our ideal partners. What’s turn you on? Do you think everything will be perfect if you get guy from your imagination? What’s  turn you off? Will you be miserable if you get husband from turn off list?

Jane never liked men with fat belly and hairy men. That was sign that man is too old and untidy. She was dating with guys from gym but all broke her heart. She was easy target for them, horny and fast to jump in bed with muscles. Well, when Jane met Albert, she was down after breakup. Albert, man with fat belly and hairy face, worked in the same office with her, as new workmate. He was everything she did not wanted, but he had great sense for humor. Also he was gentleman, educated and patient. He gave her feeling of dignity back. At the end, she got married for turn off guy.

Question: if guy is turn on, do you easier fall on him? Will you let him to make love with you on first sight, because he is adorable?

Another question: if guy is turn off, will you give him chance even to talk with you? Or you will say no immediately’?

I think that our husbands are mix of turn on and turn off situation. He is the best from both options. I love men with beard, and my husband looks great with beard. I love aggressive men, and my husband is assertive person. So this turn off was in the fact my lesson. Aggressive guys, my turn on’s were aggressive not just with others, they did the same with me. I was impressed with their approach, sense to control me and sexual energy, but i was not impressed with humiliation, insults and underestimation. The most, i was not impressed to share aggressive man with other women , who are horny from desires. I wanted vodka with ice, not vodka with whiskey. So i found ice to make my vodka more suitable for drink.



The most often turn on’s in women fantasy:

Sex with stranger.

Marriage with rich man.

Relation with the most handsome guy in school

Relation with footballer. 

Relation with hero who save her dignity.

If you think that similarities will save your relation, you are wrong. It depends in which way you are similar souls. If you have mutual plan to travel around the world, you are soulmates, but if your similarities is based on both, stubborn characters, you will not go too far. Two stubborn partners will hardly make compromise. One must say to other : “you have right this time. “

The most often turn offs in women reality:

Fat or chubby guys.

Guy who stinks.

Poor guy without job.

Ugly guy. 

Old virgin. Man from 40 years, as virgin is not desirable.

Man who lives whole life with his mother.

As much we have fantasies, we also have fears. As one my friend says : “I am afraid that i will get marry for bold, fat man who can’t make love with me anymore. ” In every period of life, woman has fears and dreams. When you get marry, you will count results of your fears and dreams. Is your husband nightmare or prince from dreams?