Where is difference between good boss and dictator?

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Obligations and rights are connected. If you are obligated to do something, you have right to ask other things for return. Especially at work, workers have rights and obligations.

In generally, we are humans. If you work at office, you are educated and you deserve appropriate treatment.

Your supervisor, headmaster, boss is not a king neither dictator.

Some bosses have this kind of requests.

 

Knock at my door before you enter.

 

Check what i wrote to you, because i have no time to read what i wrote, read between lines.

 

All important places on documents should be marked with post it papers, in different colors. I have no time to read complete document.

 

Bring me coffee in the morning.

 

Can you take my bag when you are going on business meeting with me?

 

Help me with computer, i am new in this technology age, and some things i don’t know. But i am boss so why should i know?

 

I am always right, because this is hierarchy.

So let suppose that we please all this wishes. Now we need something for return.

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What we will get?

 

If you complain on your boss, go to higher boss. Higher boss will talk with your supervisor, and circle is closing. Of course, try to work harder and you will not have reason to complain.

 

If you are working on the same document or project six months, and your boss doesn’t want to accept your idea, that work will never be finished.

You must copy paste what your boss said.

 

You have problematic client? Try to be calm and reply to him or her, million times if that is necessary.

Even your client is ready for mental hospital, you must have abilities of shrink to guess his wishes.

Some bosses forgot that we live in the age of democracy.

We are not slaves. We know that nobody can’t cut our heads. Also we have brain and ideas. Just because someone is on high position, it doesn’t mean that person is the smartest and genius. It has different meaning. Boss can be person who built career on fake kindness. Right words on right time and right place and here we are. I know person who was always late at work, he had alcoholic problems. But when structure of firm changed, he was the first one who run from office to office to ask for his rights. He was orphan and victim. New people on the top trusted him so he got position as boss of the department.

If we are making mistakes we can’t judge others for the same just because our position is better.

If responsibility exist, it must be justified no matter who did wrong. We can’t punish people accord positions, so person on high level will get smaller punishment. There should not be saint cows.

Every obligation has background. Besides, how we will motivate our workers, if their salaries are small, if we don’t give them enough free days and if they must work sick or under pressure?

Underestimated person is as donkey. You can beat him, but he will still stand on one place. There authority fails, because if you don’t respect your colleague, he will not respect you either and system will fail.

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Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

Sexual harassment at workplace

 

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Your workplace should be safe zone, covered with respect and dignity. It doesn’t matter are you cleaner, waiter, lawyer or manager, basic human values should be untouchable. In the case when your honor is damaged, and when your respect is under question mark, you are victim of mobbing. One of the worst form of mobbing is sexual harassment. When your boss or colleagues try to humiliate you as sexual object, your worth is in danger and it is time to press red alarm button.

In Croatia, 50% women are abused at work. Every fifth woman will report this , and 30% will be silent. Last year ombudsman had 420 accusations which content was sexual harassment at work. 

What you can do in this case? 

1. report sexual harassment in your firm, so you will be in procedure of intermediation

2. if it doesn’t work, you can go to court, with accusation, and if your abuser is your boss, you can  go to court immediately

3. also, you can report abuse to some association, to protect your rights and get legal advice

In Croatian Labor law are rules about protection of worker’s dignity and honor. Also, Law on prevention of discrimination has rules how to protect gender rights, because abusing women at work is also attack on their basic human rights and humiliation of female gender.

At first sight, all is clear, but abusers at work are not stupid and they know to cover their intentions. 

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They will have next arguments:

I am just joking.

This woman tried to seduce me with her short skirt or decolletage, she has too strong makeup and looks like whore.

That woman is lazy, she doesn’t do nothing.

She understood me wrong, i am not such kind of man.

Why women are sustained to report abusers at work?

Financial reasons, they are afraid not to lose job.

They are afraid of revenge, if they lose job, they will get bad recommendations.

Fear, that abuser can hurt them physically, or that their husbands will not understand.

Slow procedures at court, and too soft punishments.

Accord Criminal law in Croatia, abuser at work will get money penalty or prison for a 2 years and this kind of accusation must be private. That is in theory, and in practice many violent employees will avoid punishment because their victims will give up or they will afraid to report them.

How does it look like, and what should be sexual harassment at work, we can see from this example.

Branka works in civil service as secretary. Her computer is very slow and she invited guy from IT service to fix it and upload some antivirus programs. Saša, official man from IT service, few times invited Branka to drink coffee with him, but she is married and she rejected him. Saša said to her that they should meet after work, and she said no again. Then Saša start to massage her shoulders, because she was tense, as he noticed, and she pushed him. Next days Branka had crumbles on her skirt, because she ate sandwich. Saša touched her between legs to clean crumbles from bread, and she slapped him. He slapped her and she reported him to Union. Also he used dirty words as whore, slut and bitch , to describe Branka. She had many troubles to prove his bad behavior, but woman at Union supported her and they are still in process. Meanwhile, Saša is not working there anymore, because he was reported by one more woman , as sexual abuser.

Everything has time and place. 


We can flirt in cafe bar, pub or club, we can joke even at work, but when behavior cross limits of decency, this is step into dark zone. Women at work are not prostitutes and if they don’t accept that you touch them and talk dirty with them, you should respect this, no matter how they look, what they wear and if they excite you, as man. 

Men has two choices: you will respect your pretty colleague or you will act as total moron and risk to be reported and even you can get kick out from your comfortable workplace. So next time you will not be confused is this office or striptease bar.

Who stinks at offices?

 

Bad breath, unpleasant smell, stench are enemies of every person. Everyone decide about own habits, but if you work with such people, your life could be nightmare in the cloud of smell. It is easy to warn your roommate to wash teeth or change clothes, but if you are in this situation, would you choose to be open and honest or to suffer in silence because you don’t want to hurt him?

This happened in one of offices at Ministry of defense in Croatia. Darko got new office mate, old woman Barbara, 55 years old. She has never worked in civil service and she needs money until her retirement. First, Darko was fascinated because she was busy bee, ready to solve every file and to clean closet from old documents. She helped him with clients, because he was really busy. After a month Darko noticed bad smell in his office, and his colleagues smiled every time when he was with them at lunch pause. 

– Why you smile?

– Darko, did you wash your laundry? Or you forgot to wash teeth or hair? Something stinks buddy.

Darko realized that his colleague Barbara left track of bad smell in his office. Then he remembered how Barbara talked about her big farm with horses and cows. She was proud on her animals at village farm, because she cared for them after work, despite she was tired. They were her pets, as she used to talk. Darko felt very unpleasant, and other people started to tease him that he will die from smell soon if he will not do something. He tried to talk about this on kind way, as in generally “i really love to be clean, and my favorite perfume is Axe” but Barbara did not get the point. Darko opened windows but what will be during winter, when all will be closed? Still he is thinking how to ask boss of department to move in another room.

Not all employees are lucky as Barbara. She may do what she wants without worry for other opinions, but in private firms situations are different. 

For example, this boss in Serbian firm Telegroup had official order for his employees, to wash themselves because, as he said “i don’t want to puke or faint every time when i talk with somebody.”

Some people will say, why to be rude with others and why to hurt their feelings. 

Few questions:

1. Isn’t it rude to make unpleasant conditions for others, if you smell bad?

2. You are minority if you refuse to do something to solve this problem, so do you have right to abuse others?

3. What would you do if someone else do the same thing to you?

 

Source of bad smell can also be kind of sickness, bad breath or alcohol, but whatever is it, you are the one who must solve this problem , not others.

If such people were firing, do they have right to complain ? We can also sue for impossible conditions at work, so that story would be endless.

Walking over corpses

My coworker is getting late at work about 5 minutes. She is in panic, white in face and her voice is trembling. She afraid of punishment. I asked her where she has been at weekend. She said, i was travelling on business trip. I replied that i spent time at fresh air and she said “lucky you. ” Do i consider myself as lucky? More, i am rational and practical and i don’t let anyone to control my free time, even it could be my own nerves. 

As teenagers, we dream about success. What we wanted to be? Famous singers, writers, politicians, doctors, and when someone of us managed to accomplish aim, we are in panic and this filled dream looks like report from prison. “I will get late. ” “I will be fired. ” “I will not succeed to finish this at time, this deadline is too short. ” Life is not standing, life is passing by around people who have no time for living.

How could you define your success? 

People are jealous at you?

You are gathering with rich and other popular people?

You have a lot of money?

You wear expensive clothes and drive fast car?

Your children are attending private schools?

This is superficial view of success. Try to scratch under surface and think deeper. 

When is last time you met with your parents?

Did you talked with your sister or brother recently?

When you last time had fun?

Did you visited hospital, because you felt dizziness or high blood pressure?

Do you eat unhealthy food and make fast meals?

Did you cut all connections with everyone who did not think on the same way as you?

Marsha loves to say that she is successful and that everyone is jealous at her success. She has expensive hairdresser, she goes on vacation only on popular destinations and her friends are snobs. Her father said that she promised to visit him but she cancelled dinner with family, cause she had important business guests. She doesn’t talk with her sister for a years, cause they “lost contact. ” Her husband did not make love with her about few months, because both are busy. If you look at Marsha you will might be envious at first sight, but other view will make you pity for her. Under her expensive bra is empty heart. Recently she was sick and her husband did not want to stay at home with her , cause he had too important business project. Slowly, Marsha pays price for her walking over corpses. That unimportant people give her paycheck, she was also pushed into background.

Where is indeed real success?

People ask advices from you, because they trust you.

People invite you on birthdays, parties, common projects, because they think you are important.

You spread your circle with new acquaintances.

You reply on critics with smile.

Your ex enemies respect you.

Success is not only what you see, because if you swallow marketing, you are naive as fish who swallows bait. Real success will not erase over night. Also, real success is not limited zone only for people which you considered as suitable. Remember, nowadays almost everyone has access to social media. Maybe you underestimate Joe from South Africa because he looks poor, but he could be smart business man with deep pocket. Walking over corpses is risky move. Be careful not to slip on someone who is not dead yet. In this case, never forget the most important people in your life : your family. Once when you lose their affection, it will be really hard to persuade others that your success came on fair way.