behavior · business · career · drama · mindful · moral · relations

How our problems spread claws?

 

Every misery ask for company. Trouble never comes alone. In the time of recession many people are unemployed or with small salaries. That problems spread deeper into society. As octopus, their shanks are on many places.

Poor man will became beggar or criminal. Beggars will be social problems, and criminals will fill courts and jails. Streets will be battlefield for social mess and someone can get hurt during demonstrations. Unemployed people have no money to shop. Shopping malls will be closed or empty and country will have debts. That debts will be on international level and country will fall into debt slavery.

Domino effect has terrible consequences. Problems are part of big chain, everything is crushing down. If you want to solve this situation, go on election and choose another government. Ask yourself if your voice can help.

The same thing is in private area. So many times we can hear “all troubles stick on my back.” I have spell because everything is going wrong.

When you get divorce this is not an end. It opens door to another problems. Financial side, lost trust to other possible partners and if you have children they lose mother or father. So in this way we observe problems as an album with black and grey photos. Small problem can grow into big problem. You get drown deeper and deeper.

This happens when you don’t discover causer from the start. What made your situation so bad? Let’s go back at the beginning. Now, when everything is crushing down, you can see that it didn’t come over night. Or maybe you did not want to see, you intentionally closed your eyes?

Sabina complained that her husband left her. She was in marriage 10 years. Then she dig into her memory, how she forgive to him all affairs and how he treated her. He did not show her love as she expected. She wanted to keep him so her eyes are closed. That was pink delusional view, not real picture of this situation. So why she was surprised when he declared end of their marriage?

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How to handle with our problems on rational way?

When we dig hole for our problems, we forget about solution. 
Well, no big deal, i will not pay my bills immediately, but for sure i will pay. Now my bills are bigger, i did not pay last three months, how so?

It is better to prevent, than to heal.

It can be too late, damage is already done. Then we can accuse others why that happened. It is better to kill the wasp than to deal with cluster. Let’s cope with that problems until they are small, because later you will be too weak to solve this alone.

Once when problem is here, don’t make it bigger.

Don’t fall in despair and don’t make disaster by making desperate moves.

 

Ask solution with sober mind.

Don’t try to solve anything while you are crying, drinking, or you are in the phase of rage.

Remember past solutions.

Sometimes, old problems which are solved could be great inspirational source for solving new.

business · character · control · discrimination · egoism · mobbing · moral · relations

Where is difference between good boss and dictator?

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Obligations and rights are connected. If you are obligated to do something, you have right to ask other things for return. Especially at work, workers have rights and obligations.

In generally, we are humans. If you work at office, you are educated and you deserve appropriate treatment.

Your supervisor, headmaster, boss is not a king neither dictator.

Some bosses have this kind of requests.

 

Knock at my door before you enter.

 

Check what i wrote to you, because i have no time to read what i wrote, read between lines.

 

All important places on documents should be marked with post it papers, in different colors. I have no time to read complete document.

 

Bring me coffee in the morning.

 

Can you take my bag when you are going on business meeting with me?

 

Help me with computer, i am new in this technology age, and some things i don’t know. But i am boss so why should i know?

 

I am always right, because this is hierarchy.

So let suppose that we please all this wishes. Now we need something for return.

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What we will get?

 

If you complain on your boss, go to higher boss. Higher boss will talk with your supervisor, and circle is closing. Of course, try to work harder and you will not have reason to complain.

 

If you are working on the same document or project six months, and your boss doesn’t want to accept your idea, that work will never be finished.

You must copy paste what your boss said.

 

You have problematic client? Try to be calm and reply to him or her, million times if that is necessary.

Even your client is ready for mental hospital, you must have abilities of shrink to guess his wishes.

Some bosses forgot that we live in the age of democracy.

We are not slaves. We know that nobody can’t cut our heads. Also we have brain and ideas. Just because someone is on high position, it doesn’t mean that person is the smartest and genius. It has different meaning. Boss can be person who built career on fake kindness. Right words on right time and right place and here we are. I know person who was always late at work, he had alcoholic problems. But when structure of firm changed, he was the first one who run from office to office to ask for his rights. He was orphan and victim. New people on the top trusted him so he got position as boss of the department.

If we are making mistakes we can’t judge others for the same just because our position is better.

If responsibility exist, it must be justified no matter who did wrong. We can’t punish people accord positions, so person on high level will get smaller punishment. There should not be saint cows.

Every obligation has background. Besides, how we will motivate our workers, if their salaries are small, if we don’t give them enough free days and if they must work sick or under pressure?

Underestimated person is as donkey. You can beat him, but he will still stand on one place. There authority fails, because if you don’t respect your colleague, he will not respect you either and system will fail.

anxiety · behavior · character · friendship · gossip · illusion · moral · relations

Your friend is an imitator ?

 

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Social intelligence is ability to sympathize with others, to feel their needs and to help them if you can. Selfish person is deaf on other wishes, so when you hear someone to say “What i have to do with this, this is not my concern”, you know what to expect.

This kind of ability gives you eyes wide open, and your view into world is more ample. In this case, you will be able to communicate with people from different countries and with different attitudes. It doesn’t matter is your friend gay, atheist or nigger, you love them all on equal way.

No, it doesn’t mean that you must agree with others in everything, just this time boundaries are different. So, if you feel disrespect from other side, your right is to push this person away.

Recently i saw this kind of sentence in one group at internet. Guy said: “Please add me, i need friends, i have no friends. ” This voice of despair sounds creepy, because person marked himself as loser. So the same guy started to like everyone’s post, to confirm with everything with others say, just to get their attention. Result was bad, people found him as irritating and annoying.

For sure you can remember situation from childhood, when two girls wear the same clothes, when they kiss each other in cheek and hold their hands on the street. It looks cute on first sight, but somehow artificial.

What happens when girls grow up?

One girl found boyfriend, other is still single. 

One girl move in another city.

One girl spread her circle of friends, so she is not free as before, sometimes she wish to go in cinema with other girls.

One girl became more popular.

What other girl feels?

She is abandoned.

She is angry.

She is jealous.

Other girl says : “That is not fair. We wear the same clothes, we listen the same music, we grew up together. Now she makes distance with me. But i gave her all, i always stand behind her, even when she was not so sweet and kind. ”

That is situation with copy and paste friendship. In this case, other girl lost personality. She wears the same red skirt and white blouse, but also she talks, laughs and acts on the same way as her best friend. That is point of this story, she was clone and twin, but not equal part of this friendship.

Copy paste friendships are field of risk.

If you have friend who copy your style, as in movie with Bridget Fonda, this situation is dangerous. It will turn on two ways : your friend is addicted to you because you create her or your friend hates you because she gets less attention than you.

Best friends are indeed people who are not always sweet together. They fight and argue, they have different taste and priorities, but their friendship is as chess board. Black and white, different personalities, but awesome in one mosaic. This relation is mature, because you don’t need to wear the same skirt to prove your loyalty and devotion.

cyber · discrimination · drama · erotica · illusion · jealousy · moral · passion · relations

What happens when your partner has double standards?

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Things which you allow to yourself are also allowed to others. For example, if you drink beer, you will not judge your friend because he is drinking beer. If you wear short skirt, you will not gossip your friend because her skirt reveals her underwear. We are humans, and sometimes we move our limits into unknown directions.

Double standards are the worst failures in one relation. Although you are jealous person,  it will not stop you to flirt around. Handsome colleague from work, your charming boss, your sexy neighbor, even this new salesman, they are all opportunity for flirting. Now, you have husband, and your business is to play role of private agent, by digging into his pockets. Does he cheats you? Maybe his schoolmate is also partner in his bed. He can’t do this to you. Now, when he asks you, why you are blinking to all handsome men , you will say “But that is my right.”

Things are always different from  selfish perspective. It doesn’t look such bad when you are doing something what is not appropriate. If you are boss at work and if you skip deadline because it was not your day, this is something which must be forgiven and forgotten. Well, what if your worker do the same thing? You would yell as lunatic, they would be fired without recommendations.

Where are roots of double standards?

Person is spoiled in childhood. Some parents will let all to their children, they will not have limits, as they had many toys and they took rights to play with other dolls and teddy bears, they will play with other feelings, but their space will be locked and protected.

Person is selfish. When you are selfish, you can’t feel mercy or guilt or responsibility for others. You don’t give a shit for other problems, because it is not about you.

Person is old fashioned. This happens in men world. Some men think that meaning of real man is real boss. So, he can cheat, flirt and break hearts, but his beloved wife will wait him at home, with warm dinner.

Person is coldblooded. If you are not sensitive, you will not hear what others want to say to you. You cannot feel that you harm someone, that someone is crying because of what you did. This is not a part of your program.

Double standards make confusion in every love relation. This is discrimination of rights, because one person will take everything and other half will be prisoner, in invisible cage.

When Chad and Kurt talked about some girls, they made good example of double standards.

Chad said: “Mona is a slut. She was kissing me at first date, second date i fucked her and what to do later?”

Kurt asked him: “But why did not you tell her that you don’t want this?”

Chad replied: “What, i am not crazy. I like to use sluts for hot sex. I will not marry her. If she can’t get it, she is also stupid.”

If you are victim of double standards, check your priorities. Maybe you stuck with someone who holds the key of your freedom. Now you can’t talk with friend, tomorrow you will not have permission to get out from your house, and next day your windows will be locked, for any case.

business · career · internet · moral · psychology · relations · society

My first book

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For those who are interested to post review, here is my first e- book.

This book talks about internet world. Suitable for young generation who open their internet accounts without knowing where they enter and for older people who lived in different times, when like was not measure for values.

This book has purpose to make you smile but also to warn on some things which you might not noticed .

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kristina-gallo/lost-in-virtual-world-20-kind-of-traps-you-might-meet-on-internet/ebook/product-23288022.html

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destiny · drama · dreams · moral · prejudices · psychology · relations · romance · seduction · sensibility

How is it feel when love is platonic?

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“I love him as best friend and brother. We understand each other as twins. He touched my spirit. But, i have no desires toward him.
This is definition of platonic love, relation about two persons based on friendship, without passion. When people make excuses why to stay together in relation which is not hot, they talk about platonic love. They will talk about stars which lose light with years. They will talk about common bills instead of kiss. Also, they will see family and relatives every time when they wish to make love. This kind of love should be free of every spontaneous reaction, anger, jealousy or rage. Platonic couple is connected with blood relation, and there is no jealousy because they have mutual roots.
I could mention many couples who fit into definition of platonic love. So, some of my female friends talked about this feeling, even they have no clue that is platonic.
” I don’t know am i fall in love or just loved by him. I mean, my ex, we were so hot, but my husband gives me safety. “
 
” We are not hot kids anymore. But we will grow old together. “
” Sex doesn’t matters anymore. We trust each other “
 
Platonic love is relation with weakness. There is always danger, when one person is more hungry for passion. Imagine Jean and Gavin. She was wild girl, and he was cool, flegmatic guy. Jean had power to excite Gavin, and he had power to make Jean calm. Butterflies were not around them after few years, but pure love was there. One day Jean fall in love in Marco, guy from internet. They connected through social network, in chat. First, she hated him because he was arrogant and rude, with ironic sense for jokes, he was mocking her on first sight. Later, they were fighting as warriors. How she could not stand him! Suddenly, they kissed and revealed new part of themselves. They wrote thousand hot messages, Jean explode as bomb. She was dry wood , and Marco made big flame, just with few steps. In the moment, Jean is flying between her marriage and virtual affair.
When two people share platonic love, they should be honest.
Some promises are necessary.
I can’t stay with you forever.
 
If you want to let go, i will agree. I don’t hold you.
 
If i sleep with someone, i take this piece which i miss. 
 
I am sure we will talk and deal about everything. We don’t bring quick decisions, we are reasonable duo. 
 
We care for each other health, we worry about each other but we have control. We will not make love in beach as crazy couple.
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Platonic love is flower without smell, or this smell disappeared with time. If you want to be spared of pain , platonic love is ideal for you because all is clear at beginning. Once when you start to accept things with heart, you will get out from platonic zone.
couples · drama · dreams · erotica · flirt · moral · passion · psychology · relations · seduction

Do you switch off your emotions after sex?

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When  he will call me again? This is the question in head of every woman, after she made love for a first time with her boyfriend.
After you share your passionate moments with a guy, things are changed. You can lose your advantage and suddenly you will feel weak.
How you will know is this guy worthy to give yourself to him?
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What are signs, that he will call you again to ask you for a date?
He talked about future after you made love. 
( Next week in cinema is great movie. We could go to check it.)
He is watching you until you brush your hair. 
( Really you are beautiful.)
He is sharing his private secrets with you. 
( See, my mother and father are divorced and from time and time i am depressed because of it.)
He is not rushing, he forgot about time and he skipped to do important obligations because you captured his mind.
When you make love with a guy, it is like you open new door. You love him, and now you are more fragile, here is fear what will happen next. What if he never call you again? If you see him with another girl later, after he got all what he wanted from you?
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You can read between lines if something like that will happen.
He will not spend morning with you. 

He will disappear from your bed until you are sleeping, and if you are awake, he will grab things and rush on his bus, train, taxi or to jump into his car like he was in robbery and someone is chasing him.

He will talk very quiet on his cell phone. For explanation, he will tell you that his little sister has problems with health or other dumb excuses.

He did not asked your number, but you told him. Or he gave you his number, as sign that you must call him first. Forget this. Never call guy first, especially after sex.

He is not talking about future. Sex is now with you, now, he is talking in present time. About later, if you ask, he lives day by day.
Many women will ask, how to spare herself from jerks, how to stop situation which will break your heart?
There is no guarantee. He can act nice, but indeed if you think twice, it is his gentle way to tell you goodbye. You are wonderful but he has no time, he must go, because this is life. He is going on important football match. Another time, maybe. The day will never come. You will never drink coffee with him.
Take a deep breath and be ready for everything after sex with guy. If you knew him long time before you did this, chances are bigger to keep him. If you jump into wild sex short time after you met him, this is risk.
Maybe this will not work out, but don’t be surprised. More luck next time, and one lesson more in your book of life knowledge.
behavior · career · coincidence · crime · energy · illusion · money · moral · relations

Did you fall in trap of superstition?

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If we could predict our future it would be step forward. Maybe we could avoid something unpleasant and stop things which we don’t want.  How to win in this race with unpredictable life?

Fanny can’t find normal boyfriend. She is blind in this tunnel of love. Every guy she met had something what rejected her at the end. So, she was printing their photos with one purpose. She will take this photos to clairvoyant. Fanny heard about man who lives in lonely house in the village. She paid him some money to see important things from this photos.

She was disappointed with result.

– You are insecure person Fanny. You can’t decide what you want. That men are unavailable at the moment and i don’t see clear what is on their mind. Seems vibration for today are not good.

Later, Fanny met with her best friend Alice.

– Dear, why you paid him for this? I could tell you some things from cup of coffee , without money. Sometimes you are really naive.

When you are in trouble and way out doesn’t exist, you will think about high forces.

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In this situation, you are perfect victim for any kind of fraud. So called seer can convince you that you are cursed and that someone put spell on you. Also, if you are unhappy in love, seer can help you too. You will get some materials and that guy you dream every night will be yours. Just , first you need to pay some money. But, what is money in compare with eternal happiness without spell or whole life with person you love? You can give all money you have, so result will be better and better.

One day Gypsy woman said to me that she wants to read from my palm. I accepted from joke, and she asked me money. I gave her small coins to check her. Suddenly she said to me that she can’t see future with so small amount of money. She said, that i have spell and if i don’t pay bigger money, this spell will ruin my life. I knew this was scam so i just left.

Some people are indeed talented to predict future. Even FBI will ask for a help from seers and that people are professional. They will not threat to others, they will do their job and it takes lot of energy and they are exhausted from their visions.

Other people are also talented, but for fraud. They will deceive innocent victims. Man in Croatia said to woman entrepreneur that she has spell and she paid him big money to clean this curse. He gave her stinky water and some other things, and for a return, he use her for marketing of his services, and he robbed her. He got six months of prison.

When you are desperate, or in panic, don’t let your fear to take over your mind. You can get devil’s offer. This will be promise that your problems will disappear over night. Instead of this, you can have bigger problems , how to return money you lost.

You want to dig into your future? Let’s cook coffee and go to your friend or neighbor to have some fun. Maybe they can see something useful, and for sure you will not leave with empty pockets.

business · career · communication · crises · egoism · freedom · mobbing · money · moral · relations

Mind your own business

 

Privacy is our secret box. We decide shall we share it with others or not. Also, when we open view to this box to someone, this is the way how we give that person key in hands. This is trust, and it can be used and abused.

If you expect that everybody will be grateful to you for giving them trust, you are wrong. Snake is a snake, and if you don’t know well human character, you will be surprised why particular person hurts you. Because , if you trust to snake, he or she will spit poison when you less expect.

Very important thing is, separate private stuffs from your work. People at work are our cooperators and they should not know about our privacy , not all details.

Here is the example. Woman who speaks on the phone during work time, about her daughter who needs to go to gynecologist and she is still a virgin. Oh, how she will handle man doctor, she is so shy? Why should we know about this?

Some questions are not allowed even on job interview.

For example:

Are you married?

– Do you have children?

– Do you plan to have children?

People should respect the privacy of others, but also you can’t allow to interfere your privacy with business, it is necessary to leave your private problems at home. How to receive clients if your eyes are full of tears? How to represent your new project if you are so angry on your children that you cannot focus at work?

When Justin Bieber broke up with Selena Gomez, she did not feel good, but she had public appearance and she smiled, as real professional girl. These are situation when we must handle our private falls and downs and continue with smile. This is how strong characters work.

Of course, some things in our life are not easy and if we think we can’t , it is time that someone replace us in important task. We need to notify someone that our problems are serious and it will be solved on other way. Sandra had car accident and she did not notify her cooperators that meeting will be delayed. She made monkeys from people. Yes, they understand that she is wounded, but she is not in coma and she had cell phone to notify them. That woman was really messed up.

We cannot ask apologies if we interfere others in our problems, and if we are causers of troubles. This is responsibility, and real test for adult people.

couples · cyber space · erotica · infidelity · lovers · moral · relations · romance

He doesn’t care about your past if he is into you

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One of the most salty questions between women is about their sexual status. If you ask women do they masturbate mostly will say no and hide it from publicity. If you ask them about their fetish they will cover mouth with hand and say no. If you ask them are they promiscuous they will also say no. Here i am talking about representative , average woman as example . I was talking with many women on internet, from different countries, and despite of feminism, mostly women will not talk about their privacy unless they trust you as best friend.

If you ask women are they easy or hard target, of course every woman will say that she is not easy to get. What is the point is not their level of surrender, because in some stage of life every woman will obey to one man or to make something stupid which is not for bragging about. Being easy or hard don’t make differences, the point is how much you can hold to yourself.

If you think that being unavailable makes you hard target, or that being wild makes you easy, you are in deep illusion.

Let’s see in this example. Celia is a virgin, 35 years old. Accord her religious beliefs and traditional values in her family, every woman who sleeps with man who is not her husband is dirty woman. She finds them as easy and filthy. Celia is pure and she waits for her man, also her taste is very high, so she wants to get rich man, handsome as model, gentleman who will be faithful to her. She was not without admirers cause she is not ugly, indeed she is cute average woman. What was her failure, she is not interesting catch for man’s population on the way she wanted to be. She was dating with men but they can’t touch her properly. She runs even from kiss. Her heart was broken because she did not want to sleep with her big love, so he went to have sex with another woman. Celia said ” look at me, i am hard woman, i will wait for my husband and then i will sleep with him. ” Until now, there is not candidate for her. What she did was considered as hard, but her mind was very easy. A man promised her to visit her and get marry with her. He was from another country. He did not show up even she was waiting for him. Her virgin’s mind made her as easy target for illusions, as hard target for sex adventures.

There we got to another question, what is easy, and what is hard?

Hard targets are not by default virgins, religious women, those who are rigid and unavailable for men. They could be frustrated, but not so hard.

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Real hard target is this woman:

She has attitude. If you betray her, she might sex with you, but you will get dumped after this.

She is loyal. If she chose you, she will not chase another man. She expects the same from you.

She is silent and keep your secrets and trust.

She will reject other men.

Level of easy is not tightly connected with physical touch. You might see innocent virgin who is flirting with men and don’t give chance to anyone because she is playing. You might see promiscuous woman who will stand by side and wait for the right man. When some woman is yelling : “No, he will not get me, i am not a whore. ” , there is a doubt that she doesn’t stand by her attitude. If you know you are not easy, why to prove that and to whom?

In this relations the main role is in intuition. Your availability depends on your inner voice. If you feel that man is into you, that you can trust him and that he returns you love, it will not be important what you do for him. You can sleep with him and say goodbye if you don’t feel good, that will not make you cheap. You can call him and say that you want him and you will see in his eyes how much is good this idea.

Here is statement of one man , who said the point: “My girlfriend, i was expecting that she will jump into bed with me first week. I know she was with many men after me, but she did not sleep with me 3 months. I would not change my opinion even if she did it anyway, because i liked her at first sight. It was something in her wilderness which made me impressed. “