couples · crises · drama · dreams · erotica · flirt · freedom · lovers · narcism · relations

Don’t be his option after he left you

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Two people will split after problematic relation, sooner or later. Breakup suppose to be an end, but is that really true?

You will see how much someone cared about you accord his behavior after breakup.

Three situations are possible :

If he is silent, if he doesn’t talk about you around, if he just greet you in the street, that was respectable relation. You could not agree with him, but you will not jump on each other like two wild beasts.

Breakups are not always civilized so you could be victim of harassment. He is calling you, stalking you, brag bad things about you, your private moments are now at internet, your friends know all details about your relation. Shortly, you have bad luck.

Third situation is the worst, because that is caught in the middle. He doesn’t want reunion with you, but he wants you as hidden lover.

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What this really means?

He will call you when he wish. Meanwhile, be silent.

He will not date with you in public. You are his secret.

He might has new girlfriend, but you should close eyes and wait him in hope to changes his mind. 

Now this is really big fall, from his priority until his option, but you love him and you think you will be together with him again if you show patience?

I would recommend you to show him teeth. It means, cut every connection which such guy who wish to drag you into gutter. You were couple, and now you will be his hoe?

If you ask me which crazy woman would accept this options, i know many.

Love is blind when you fall for someone and suddenly you lose him. He was yours, completely, but he chilled out, circumstances were bad, you were different, and he slipped from your hands.

I would say, let him go. If you must persuade him what he lost, i am afraid you will sink in your intentions to show your value.

Breakup is as dark, blind alley. There is no way out, this is final destination. Turn on and don’t come back. Person who cut connection must follow you and prove that here is still something left .

When guy has bad intention, he will treat his ex girlfriend as tool and toy, until something new comes out. Such guys are selfish. They ask fun in the middle, before new relation.

Respectable, honest man will spare you of this. He is not into you anymore, but he doesn’t want to humiliate you either. So he will say hello and how are you and that will be all. Thank you for playing, game over.

beauty · character · couples · cyber space · drama · narcism · passion · relations

When you are not his first choice

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Cupid arrows are cruel tools. They will hit us straight into the heart and we will expect to get love back. What happens when sparks come just from one side?

World is full of wrong choices and discarded people. It happens even to the best. It is wrong thinking that you will be rejected because you are ugly, poor, not educated and not so smart. You can be the shiniest star, but still you can suffer because of wrong choice.

Usually, when women reject their fans, they do it gentle. We have fragile heart and we will feel sorry for a guy, but we will say decently “you are not what i need.” Only if guy is really violent and pushy, we will reject him on harsh way, because sometimes kindness is not enough to stop some people.

Men are different. Some men are indeed gentlemen and they will deny women with smile and words “sorry you are wonderful, but i am not interested.”. But, in men nature is that they don’t like too long explanations. Men will act short, with few words. “No, this girl is not for me, i am not into her.”

Problem exist when man is indeed unpleasant and vulgar. Such men don’t respect even own mother. Primitive men will reject women with vulgar words, but that will talk a lot about them, not about rejected women. This is example when guy will spit on love letter he got from some girl, when he will laugh on her poem which was made for him, and also when he will show her photos to his friends  and make bad jokes about them.

You fall in love in wrong guy? Be careful, men world is cruel. Especially now days. Some men will use women only for sex, because they want to fill their desires, but nothing more than that. After that you can expect everything. Video on internet, naked photos, rumors about your skills in bed. Men can even use your female friends against you.

Women will ask, but why he doesn’t want me, and why he is so harsh with me? 

Sean and Thalia were couple for a two years. Thalia was pretty, smart, sexy, educated and she was popular in her friend’s circle. She was hot tempered, but it was part of her charm. Sean was old fashioned guy, with double moral standards. He let himself to use women around and to treat them as things, but he judged Thalia because she was not virgin when she met him. She was star in every company, hilarious and world woman, she traveled around and enjoyed in new experiences. He was guy who like to spend night in front of television, in circle of his relatives and he built wall against anything new in his life. With time, he got jealous on her, not just because he was insecure that she could cheat him, it was because she got attention anywhere where she appeared, her mind was open and strong. He was as little peasant lost in big city. Some Thalia’s friends even laughed to him and they were so surprised how they ended up together.

When he broke relation, Thalia cried all day. She did everything to make him happy. She spent every moment with him. When his little niece was sick she got free day from work just to be with him as support. She defended him in front of people who did not like him. All was in vain.

As Thalia’s friend said : ” Dear, why you offered him Mercedes, when he like his Mini Morris? He is as Mr Bean, maybe little more handsome.”

So, if you think that successful and pretty women are not unhappy in love, you are wrong. Love will not spare you troubles even if you are Pamela Anderson, Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Anniston. They were also rejected because they were not first choices or for some other’s reasons.

You can offer stars and jewels to your man, but if he will not open you door when you are going out from his car, he is not worthy of efforts.

Some other men would show you the world, just to pay attention to them.

beauty · cyber space · depression · destiny · erotica · fashion · money · narcism · relations

Shopping is not cure for broken heart

If you are sad, grumpy or your heart is broken, shopping will be your best friend. Women practice shopping as additional tool to forget all troubles and make yourself beautiful.

Look at your wardrobe. Accords some polls, every woman use only 30% of her closet. For sure you have trousers or skirt you will never wear. They are size 36, and you are size 40 and your strong belief is that it will fit you perfectly one day. Then you sit in McDonald’s to eat hamburger and you can forget about your dream.

Women can be superstitious. That skirt brings me luck, i had that blouse when i met my boyfriend. This shoes are your fetish, you were dancing whole night and you had many fans because you look so good in them.

Lucy was very unhappy after her breakup. Her friends Sally and Brenda invited her to shopping mall. She had Visa and she joined to them. Lucy was not slim so after she realized that she can’t stand in size 40, she became depressed. Then Brenda started to pick clothes to make her happy. Lucy spent a lot of money, because at the end she just took some things randomly, even without testing. 

After one week she was ready to meet new guys . She was almost ready for Saturday evening party , her friends were at the door and suddenly her necklaces drop her. She bowed to pick it and her dress cracked on the back. That evening she was so depressed that she cancelled all her plans.

Shopping is nice thing, but extreme situations are not good. We are so sad that we want to be happy by force. We jump from deep anger to the highest joy. Some fake things can fascinate us and we will not even check is that real solution for our problems. I am so angry that i will spend money on new fashion collection, but my legs pain because shoes are so tight, and this coat is too big or too small for me. 

Every salesman will have good day when shopping addict come into shopping mall.

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That kind of persons are addicted and they are indeed collectors. They will grab things in any part of the day, and full bags will be result of this shopping mania. Later this person will be maybe hungry or full of debts. Also many people spent their money in online internet shopping.

How many people were cheated by shopping online? 1 from 3 online shoppers were fooled by fake websites who offer ideal conditions for shopping.

 

So, if you practice shopping as cure against sadness or depression, take a look into your wallet. Think about how big financial burden you can handle in next shopping season.

behavior · depression · drama · illusion · loyalty · narcism · relations

Did you try to provoke jealousy?

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Your beloved man is cheating you? He doesn’t pay enough attention at you? Or, he is just passive and sleeps as Sleeping beauty until you wake him up?
Here is simply cure, make him jealous. This is usual recommendation when you need to save your relation. Also, this strategy works out if you are on half way to catch boyfriend, but you stucked in the middle.
Artificial jealousy is state of shock. You should make him terrified, that he is afraid to lose you. As everything what is not spontaneous or natural, such experiment could go wrong.
Before you use this advice, check this facts.
Your partner will be jealous only if he still loves you.
 
If you cheat him, he will see this as sign that you have open relation and he can do the same.
 
Make limits in your actions. You can dance with someone in front of his eyes, but don’t kiss other man otherwise you will make scandal.
 
Be careful when you choose subject of your game. Don’t hurt someone who loves you. 
 
Make a deal with your partner in crime and make it clear what you expect from him.
Here are two examples of wrong turn.
What happened?
Sandy was madly in love in her boyfriend James. He was too busy to make her happy, his first love was his job.  Sandy made deal with Leonard, her friend from school days to make James jealous. She made party at home for Christmas and she invited many friends and neighbors. Leonard was star of the evening and everyone liked him. Just, he forgot deal and he was so drunk that he puked on carpet. Sandy was cleaning this glitch whole morning after party. James bought bottle of mineral water to help Leonard to get sober. Her plan failed and their relation is on ice now.
In other case, Paula was betrayed woman. His husband Matt cheated her with nurse. He was doctor in emergency, and everyone bragged about this affair. Paula wanted to get revenge and she invited her neighbor Andy at wedding of her sister. She wanted to introduce Andy to her family, just to give hint that she is not alone. They were dancing all night and Paula never had so much fun. Then Andy admitted to her that he  loves her a long time ago. They  relation that evening, and Paula forgot about her plan.
You can’t make a fire if there is no sparks.
Jealousy is just a tool, but this is double sword. Maybe your partner will be angry, maybe his ego will be broken. It doesn’t mean that he will start to love you again. Maybe, he can even make conclusion that you deserve someone who is better than him. When you make someone jealousy, it is usually beginning of the end.
character · drama · ego · egoism · manners · narcism · relations

We could be immature forever

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Immaturity is not basically connected with ages. You can be serious and mature in 20, and foolish in 60. It doesn’t make difference how old you look, what kind of job you have or which is your position in society. Remember Silvio Berlusconi and his Lolita fetish girls. He is enough old to be proud grandfather, but his behavior would fit better to teenager.

Life is divided on stages. Childhood, youth, middle age, old age, every period has lessons to learn. If  you pass this lessons on time, you are on next stair. You will bring your experience with you and share with your descendants.

What happens when you did not pass life lessons on time?

Which are consequences?

You may act naive. Everyone can make fool of you. You did not kiss a girl until 25, so you don’t know how. 

Everyone can make fool of you. You are excellent target for cheaters, impostors, liars.

People will mock you, that you are greenhorn. You are still on mamma’s milk.

You can deliberately hurt someone. You were virgin until 30, now one girl is not enough and you go further.

There are various reasons why you did not participated in important stage of your life. Maybe parents forbid you to make hands dirty in sand, until other kids played on playground. Maybe you had harsh mother who did not let you to wear short skirt and you had limitation to go home before midnight. Maybe you follow your tradition or religious beliefs so you did not passed what you wished. Whatever is your reason, life lessons are cruel. Sooner or later, you will want to compensate what you missed. Then you will stuck in the trap, because you don’t know how to deal with this.

Lionel is older man, he is over 50. He never went into nightclub, and one day he joined to his nephew. He had awesome idea, to dance with young girls. You can guess that everyone laughed when he started to jump on “Wiggle wiggle” song. At the end, he was so pushy, that bodyguards kicked him out of club.

The other example is Andrea. She is over 55 and she works in civil service. Her colleagues are shocked by her clothing. She looks like cheerleader in retirement. Short skirt, golden shoes and artificial blonde hair are bad widget on her wrinkle face. Her secret came from early days, when she was teenager. Her mother forbid her to wear sexy clothes, because she was afraid that her daughter could be labelled , as easy girl. Andrea is married a long time, but her awful style is still here. 

Greenhorns are people without experiences, eternal beginners. They will start new things and it will be funny to watch. Life circus made them as clowns, to make others laugh.

business · career · character · narcism · psychology · relations · responsibility · society

Claws of feminism

Recently i visited very useful seminar. The topic was equality of genders. This word “equality” was wrong from the start. Men and women can’t be equal never, because we were built from various DNA. What we should do is to gain mutual respect.

Marilyn Monroe said : “I don’t care if this is men world, as long i can be woman in it.” That is the truth, that we can’t run from one extremity to others, just to prove that women are worthy. When you say about feminism to men, they will see woman with mustaches, lesbian, with legs as Maradona and sharp voice. They will make jokes about this and i can’t say that they don’t have right.

I like to cook dinner for my man, but also i like when he is preparing lunch for me. I don’t have wishes to drive truck or to change tire. I will shave my legs and i will put makeup, but i don’t expect that he will shave his legs or chests for me. Also i have no desires for wrestling with other women who wish to approach to my man. 

We are women and that is what men likes about us, that they can feel as men. This also doesn’t mean that we are slaves or servants to our men. I earn my money and i don’t expect that man will work for me. We will share this money and pay our bills together. I have opinion which is not equal to his opinion, but it doesn’t mean that i need to shut up and stand up when he is in the same room with me. I will not confirm his attitude if i disagree with this. Also i don’t have to yell if he is not agree with me. I like football matches and we don’t have conflicts about TV channels, because soap operas are something what i really hate. Also i will not cry in the moment when Leonardo di Caprio on Titanic is drowning to save life of Kate Winslet. Maybe this is romantic movie, but for me is pathetic, and if someone expect from me to cry as sign of my femininity, that is wrong. As my man doesn’t need to slap desk with his fist to prove that he is real man.

We came out from the cave but we don’t need to copy each other, to change our natural characteristic for the sake of so called equality. The worst rebel is talking bad about men. What will some women do? They will consider men as pigs and swines. As, not so long time ago, men considered women as sheep or cows.

Indeed, man is mirror of his woman. If you complain that your man doesn’t want to wash dishes or to help you with kids, that is your problem. You taught him to stay away from your dishes and from your kids, because you know the best. Or, you really chose man who doesn’t have idea that his role in marriage is not just to bring money or make love with his wife.

Differences between genders are battlefield, and we should not act like soldiers. Don’t fall in claws of feminism because it will be other face of chauvinism. You complain that man abuse you or you are victim of harassment? Don’t do to others what you don’t wish they do to you.

couples · destiny · drama · lovers · loyalty · narcism · relations · romance

Wrong number – your crush wants your bff

 

You can tell her all secrets. When you lost innocence, when you got period and when you pretend that you were sick to escape from class. She is guest in your house and your parents like her, you are wearing her blouse , she is your lost sister.

Finally you decided to tell her about your secret love. He is not yours yet, but you are doing everything to be close with him.

Cold shower is next chapter of this story. Guy you love invited your best friend on date. She did not know that you like him too. How could she knew?

That happened to Sandy. She wanted Josh, and two months she made all possible excuses to talk with him. For this purpose she borrowed CD of his favorite music, even she could not stand heavy metal. She will return him this CD of Sepultura, but now she has something his, this is reason to talk with him again. Even psychic tell her that she must have something from her favorite man. This will connect them forever.

Until she was dreaming and interpreting every his word as promise or affection toward her, Joshua had no idea about her feelings.. Sandy was not his type at all. He was simply guy who likes basketball and Sepultura music. He was not reading nothing intellectual, his library was collection of Alan Ford. Sandy was nerd with glasses. She was not ugly, but her eternal wish to discuss about everything made him nervous. He liked her best friend Kate. So he called her for a date. Kate was also simply girl, she played basketball for school team and she had sexy body. 

As every man, he noticed first how she looks. Sandy was not ugly, but shape of his body was not visible under that grunge style. He was not sure it was bag or her skirt. She was freak, that was he thought about her.

Kate saw expression of Sandy’s face. It was not happy, and he could swear that her eyes were wet. Under that glasses were tears, because glasses were misty. She even said that she will not date with Josh, just to save her friendship. But Kate said no, she let her to choose.

It was painful for a month when Sandy realized that Josh and Kate have relation. Later, it was normal for her. She knew that he is not good match . Soon she found suitable boyfriend who was reading Sartre and listened goth music.

It is hard to know that we are not chosen, and even harder when our competition is someone who is close to us. 


Your best friend, your sister. Someone you know will get someone you want. You can’t punish your friend, because it is not her fault. It just happened, sparks crossed between yours two favorite persons. You can accept or sacrifice friendship.

Real winner in love is not the girl who can have anyone she wants. Real winner is girl who can step back when guy doesn’t want her. That is self respect and pride. For sure, it will be attracted by many. Even between them is not the one you wanted at first, take your time.

Don’t let your ego leads you in your choices.

bohemians · business · career · internet · mindful · narcism · relations

Are we just slaves of our computers?

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During my 10 years at social networks, i noticed usual pattern . People are mostly lazy to read long posts because of various reasons.

They are busy with real life.

They are lost in bunch of many info on internet.

They prefer to read post of those who read their posts.

They prefer to comment post from people who try to please them. 

When i was in high school, reading books was stylish thing. People used to talk about Sartre, Proust and Dostojevski, instead of someone’s profiles as nowadays. Today, Dostojevski is guy you can google about. If someone read whole book , that is corny. When i put long status and expect deep thoughts, i got replies – have a nice day and hello.

It is not general statement and of course examples are always here. Well, what to say about girl with big boobs who will post thought about her too tight bra, and got 1000 likes? Then, someone will post about cancer and get silence. Someone will post about sense of life to get few comments from those who still wish to read.

We became to lazy to talk and too fast to make photos of everything. I had lunch, let me make photo of this meal. I was out of city, if i don’t post photo of awesome place, nobody will know that i was there.

How we became hypocrites and superficial society? Shall i change my style to post “hello”., “thanks” or “have a nice day” as my main thoughts?

An opposite to some guides, blogging is not business with pattern. This is state of mind and soul and only on this way is honest and various from usual greeting on the street. That is how you know that someone did not use spam and that computer by itself did not write those lines.

addiction · coincidence · communication · control · couples · erotica · moral · narcism · passion · relations · sensibility

When technology takes over, romance died

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If someone has told you that one day cell phone will be your worst competition, and computer will make fights between you and partner, you would call him mad. 

What we have today? Couples who are typing during their conversations, woman who hide her mobile in front of partner , man who say “excuse me, someone is calling me” and interrupted romance with sound of new viral hit.


Mark and Molly are travelling together. Mark took earphones and new iPod touch. It takes two for relation, but in this case, cell phone, iPod and laptop are also part of this couple, because they take important decisions many times.


Moly felt as someone who is waiting at the line. 

–  Can we talk darling?

– I am listening new album of Avenged Sevenfold.

Molly opens her book and reads. She spent last 24 hours in attempts to talk with Mark about something really important. 

Her mother said: “Dear, nowadays people are strangers. Phones, computers, tablets, they are taking over. You know like in Terminator, just without Arnold Schwarzenneger. When i met your father there was no phone, just romantic letters. And i waited him in silence that he comes back from military forces. I was scared, but he wrote really touchful letters to me. Btw, do you know to hold a pen still?

In the afternoon Molly and Mark came at home. They are living together for a few year and share all joy and problems. Mark turn on his laptop.

Darling..do you have time now?

– Just a moment, honey. I need to check my business page. Maybe someone join to my marketing circles.

Deep sigh. Molly went to get shower. When she came back, Mark was still in front of his laptop.

Damn it, when are you able to talk?

– Please, sweety, i am at skype now. There is my new customer.

Molly took network cable and turn off the connection.

What are you doing? Are you normal woman?

– I am pregnant, do you understand?

– Oh, why did not you tell me this?

– Because you are moron and you are talking with computers, not with me.

– Oh sorry my darling. That is an excellent news. Can i call my mother to tell her?

drama · fantasy · moral · narcism · prejudices · psychology · rebellion · rules · sensibility

Fit in or stand out?

If you are one of those who know how to fit in, probably you have much friends. You have team, they stand behind your back and support you. Are you strong, powerful person? Can you say to your opponents: “Take care of me, cause my team will ruin your life. ” When ex Croatian tennis player Iva Majoli divorced from ex husband, her words were : “Beware of dark, it will swallow you.” Everyone who can count on gorillas, because of money, power or any other reasons, is not alone.

On opposite side, are you one of those who defend rights alone? 

Can you stand against crowd, lonely and without background, just with your principles behind you?

Imagine these situations:

You are in bus and radio is loud. You are the only one who complain. Yes or no?

Neighbor beats his wife. Others will not interfere, but you are the only one who will defend her. Yes or no?

You have friend at Facebook who constantly tag others. You are the only one who will remove tag. Yes or no?

Someone stand in front of you when you wait for line in restaurant. Others will be silent, will you yell on him?

Your boss makes mistake in important document. Are you the one who will warn him?

It is easy to be brave when crowd stand behind your back. You are powerful because gorilla Steve will break teeth to those who dare to touch you. Well, what if you are alone? There is quote : ” Force will break woods, but mind will rule with kingdom. ” Can you win as David against Goliath? 

Sheila was fragile girl. She was victim of bullying in high school. She did not allow to guys to touch her, so they use force and cut her part of hair. She complaint to headmaster. In this moment, she did not crying. Her face was calm and voice did not tremble. She collected her hair, and spread her palm in front of headmaster, with words: “They did this to me. ” Bullies were punished and Sheila was winner, without bullets. 

Just because you have parents, brothers, husband or friends, it doesn’t mean that they will always be with you. Some situations happen suddenly, without alert. Husband is maybe at business trip. Parents are maybe old and without power. Brother is on date with his girlfriend. And you are alone, against bullies, or against rude people who wish to hurt you, with force or words. That is situation why is important to use your character, because that is image of your real power.

I had friend teenager who was so cocky because of her popularity. She had the best clothes and the most handsome boyfriends. Well, when her own father slapped her in night club, because she did not come home at time, nobody helped her. She was weak and she cried as little baby. Nobody wanted to protect her, because it was family thing.

When you stand alone, count with this:

Don’t show fear .

Don’t change your mind.

Raise your voice. 

Don’t cry and don’t tremble.

Maybe you are fragile butterfly and gorillas might tear you, but your dignity is your weapon. If you don’t show teeth at least once, you will never go far. Courage is mother of respect, so be enough brave to gain respect of crowd.