What happens on date from nightmare?

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It is first date and you want to hear good impression about yourself. Think before speak, and when you speak behave yourself. It is very different situation when you sit in front of person which you don’t know well. You can use profanity if you meet with your best friend because he got used to it. Well, if you say “hello hootie” to girl on first date, you will be labelled as jerk. In this case girl might feel cheap or as your number, and you sound as someone without manners.

Young guys are often not aware that girls are sensitive, and what sounds as joke could be bad echo in their ears, as mocking.

What she doesn’t want to hear?

– you look fat in this skirt

– these boots look cheap

– there is something in your breath, did you eat garlic for dinner?

– you remind me on my ex girl

– can you pay this bill, i have no enough money for tonight

Also, girls sometimes not understand that man is not their therapist, mother or shoulder for crying.

 


What he doesn’t want to hear?

I have so painful period, i bleed so much.

– Do you like my makeup?

– What type of car you drive? 

– My ex boyfriend is here, i feel so nervous.

– Do you think i am pretty?

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This is story from real life.

Sandra and Darren went to date and he took her out of the city. This was small coffee bar with so loud folk music that she did not hear what he is talking. They waited for a waiter for a half hour and they were not alone, because Darren met his best friend with girlfriend so they shared table with them. That girl provoked Sandra that Darren is indeed womanizer and that he will not be faithful to her. She said she was joking, but Sandra felt very unpleasant.

Second date never happened.

If you wish to avoid date from nightmare:

be alone with your partner

– don’t talk about ex 

– try to choose quiet place 

– focus on her or him

– don’t look at your cell phone every 10 minutes

– don’t stare in every good looking person around

You want to arrange second date, isn’t it? Think about things you said because first date can be the last if you do many mistakes.

Some people are flexible and they will forgive mistakes, but next time they will look at you with doubts. First impression doesn’t come twice and you can’t fix it. You might learn what you do wrong, so next partner will have more luck.

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So called kindness

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Use lovely smile and sweet words, talk kind and you are on the half way to get what you wish. Many times such behavior will make our view misty, especially when we reveal the truth. This woman was so sweet and kind, who would tell that she is indeed a bitch? That is in human nature, to make vision about fake saints and angels, to put them in the throne, and when they start to shit, people are surprised.

Lao Tse once said that nice words are not always true, and true words are not always nice. When someone treat you on kind way, it doesn’t mean that person loves you or likes you.

What kind of traps are wrapped in kindness?

Professional trap. Person wants to sell you something, so saleswoman will tell you that you look as Hollywood star in some dress, even you are indeed fat.

Favor for favor. That person will hug you and ask something from you, as kind of trade. “Dear, you are wonderful person, can you lend me some money?”

Knife in back. Backstabber will do this, until you listen their sweet words, such people will cook poison meal for you. The most easier way to get revenge to someone you don’t like is to prepare soft ground. Let this person melt with your kindness, and then you will smash her into face when she doesn’t expect this.

Sarah was new neighbor. She noticed Frank first day when she move in new apartment, but Frank was married man. Sarah made plan to caught him in her spider net. She made cake to offer this as gift . Then she organised party and invited both, Frank and his wife. She take care for their little daughter when both were busy. Who would not love Sarah? One day, when Frank’s wife was in business journey, Sarah appeared on his door in sexy dress. She wanted help from Frank, with buttons. His wife came earlier and that scene was unpleasant. Frank said to his wife :”How could you be so jealous? Sarah is so sweet and kind. Real angel.” She had this saint aureole around her head and nobody could prove opposite.

It is very unpleasant to make war with kind person. She will have huge support. People will fall on kindness, especially if that person did much favors. She prepared ground to make seed for her future actions. If you try to spit on angel, you will be marked as devil with horns. This is private soap opera, angry girls are bad, and sweet girls with smile are good. Don’t hurt good girl, she is so kind, she will cry and people will hug her because you hurt an angel.

Real kindness is not wrapped in bad intentions or purposes. If someone truly loves you, this person will not lick ground where you are walking. You don’t need red carpet. Obsequiousness and kindness are two different things. You can be decent without hyperbole. It is like you go to hairdresser, and she is walking around you with words: “Omg. Fantastic, real beauty! Model. Miss of the world.” Then you will pay big money for her masterpiece.

When someone kiss you in cheeks and hug you without reason, that is not natural if you don’t know this person very well. That is Trojan horse. You don’t need to push that person away, you can only ignore that . It is not your obligation to return this if you don’t like this. Fake kindness is usually temporary act, because next day this person will not greet you on the street if you don’t respond to her purposes.

At the end, people are creatures from flesh and blood, they are not sinless angels. I prefer person with mistakes and flaws, than someone who will try to clean my shoes. Real kindness is when someone gives you a hand with understanding. This is constancy. I loved you yesterday and i will love you today and tomorrow.

Why women like naughty guys?

 

 

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Forbidden fruit is sweeter. Grass is more green around your neighbor’s house. That is logic of some human minds. They see things what other’s have and they want to involve in this.
Such women are imitators and insecure in own choice. This is more safe, to try something what is already proved as good. Accord this logic, some women will pick only married men or men who are already taken and popular.
George is handsome man, he is working in bank, his salary is big because he is leader of one department. He is well mannered and girls love to hang out with him , at team building. Problem is, George was never in relation. Girls will say, George is wonderful, but somehow boring. There is no sparks, adrenaline, excitement with him. Girls would like to go in shopping with him, but not on date. He is not hot.
His friend Lewis is what women say hot guy. He is heartbreaker and never alone. One woman left him, he is already with another. He was married twice, and divorced. Lewis has magnet and women adore him.
If you ask women, why they pick Lewis, and not George for date, they will say that Lewis is confirmed as interesting choice. George needs good promotion and marketing, this is something what is missing in his behavior.

Women like to compete with each other. It is not rarity that two best friends will compete, they will even steal guy from each other. Married woman and his best friend, this is not always safe area when husband is here. It is like in movie “All about Eve.” Two women, one is role model for other, but indeed that friend who show admiration to you is your rival. She wants to take what is yours.

What is an advice for George? 

He needs so called hunter stories. 

He should lie about his reputation.

Women heard about him as good son of his mother, this is not cool and hot. Women tremble when they hear about Lewis, because he is so good in bed, he is passionate and this is hot area. When George is here, women will see scene with family and boring dinner. Lewis will take them in Wonderland. They can travel with him, he will suggest even roller coaster and they will feel young and desirable. George will take his woman at home, and his mother will judge them. This is what women want to avoid.

George needs woman who will break ice.

Once when other women hear that he had sex with someone, they will be curious too. Nobody wants to be his teacher.

Lewis is hunter and his trap is always full of trophies. Women will suffer and cry with him, but he will never be alone. He is enough smart to recognize when he needs to stop and settle down. Some women will reject him too, but he has joker in his pocket. As long women like to compete in this game, Lewis will be popular.
Women like naughty guys because they are unpredictable, you never know what he will bring at table. Maybe you did not want to marry with him, but for sure you want to meet some of them at least once.

Do you follow some patterns when you choose partner?

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Saturday in the night club, usually noisy crowd and one table in the corner.
Barbara, Jack and Sue are talking about relations.
All are single and their love stories had unhappy ends.
Barbara: Why i always meet wrong guy?
Jack: Why all women left me?
Sue: I am under spell, i know it, i did not give coin to beggar last week, and he cursed me.
They have mutual problem, how to meet right partner for relation.
Barbara : I like macho guys but they are always hurting me.
Jack: I like blondes but they want only my money.
Sue: I like romantic guys but i always meet those who have protective mother and there is no place for me.

They are asking partners with one key, one pattern. 

 

Their partners are always the same, because they will fall in love in various persons with the same qualities. Accord their choice, they will make always the same mistakes in attempt to keep that kind of person in relation. Their love story always have the same end, with some updates.
Barbara: It is not problem in them, i am masochist.
Jack: I like when i can buy things for my ladies.
Sue: I love to take care for my guys.
Your wish is my command, said Alladin’s ghost and make it true. If you pick partners who remind you on each other, you have the same pattern. 
Barbara : It is time that i start dating with romantic guys.
Jack: I need to find woman who has own salary.

Sue: I will find guy who will take care for me. Enough to be boss and mother in this relation.

After this troubles, they had only one thought, how to avoid same examples in the future.

 

If you change the view, new chances and new circles are opening. If you stuck in the same crowd, you will hardly get out from something what is indeed not for you. You might think that you can change someone, or that you need to change yourself to be perfect match. No, you are looking in wrong direction. Think about why some people are together , and what’s connect them. They did not train to be bonded. It simply happened.

So, what you really need to change is your love pattern.

Stop run for wrong guys, because remember that something is similar to all them. Did not they all make damage to you in past? How about that you try something new? This is the same when you vote for same politicians every years and they disappoint you.

Try new pattern, choose sweet guy from neighborhood for a change, instead of rough macho type . It is not easy, but at least give yourself a chance to swim in new sea.

Walk like gorilla man

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When guy is handsome, he will get certain privileges. Women will notice him, he will have big choice and in the case of broken heart he will heal faster. Well, there is plenty of fish in the sea, so this guy doesn’t want to waste time on pain, isn’t it? Also, he will take less efforts to seduce woman. Many of them are under his feet even when he winks to them. So, why would he bother to call woman, to pay her drinks, to wait her until she gives him positive answer? He has already offers on his desk, so it made him lazy.

I don’t wish to say that handsome men are bad guys. They have benefits by birth, so why to judge them? Well, if handsome guy has beautiful heart and strong, mature personality, you will get on lottery. He has whole package.

What i wish to wrote, is about handsome and rude guys. Are they rude because they are handsome, so they turn to extremities, or they would be rude even if they are ugly? I call them gorilla men.

I met many gorilla men during my life. When i was teenager, i shown photos of my ex, bad boyfriend to my friend. She said: “Yes, he is rude, but  handsome so he can afford this. ” Wow, that was apology for his bad behavior, but that girl gave example of women attitude. What makes guy rude, that are women in the role of sheep.

Imagine situation when handsome guy appears on internet. Sexy photos, big ego and many women are around him. When you see guy with big number of friends, it is very important how he treats them. If he is flirting with every woman, guy is trash. As long women accept this, he is king. Then, one day he met woman who will not fall on this corny charm. He doesn’t want to be part of this brothel. How he reacts? He offends her, and for him that woman is a prostitute, whore, frustrated lady, because he doesn’t swallow his strategy.

Men could live in eternal dilemma which role to play.

Macho man, gentleman or cuckold? Let’s try to understand them. It is not easy if woman offend them in publicity, because it ruins their reputation. Big macho is now down, because some woman replied him and made him miserable. If he forgives her, other men will consider him as cuckold. So, it is easier to be rude. Stay like this if you want to enjoy in company of stupid women. Sheep will follow wolf until he eats her. If you are gorilla man, ideal woman for you is uneducated, quiet, without attitude. She smiles to you and confirms your words, because you are master of universe.

Now, here is only one problem. This woman doesn’t make you excited. She is good at home, with dinner, when you came back drunk from party and you wish silence. She is good when you are tired from sex with your mistress. Well, with his kind of woman gorilla can survive. But, he will always have mistresses on other side, because they can satisfy his hunger. Gorilla man has simply life philosophy – mistress for sex, and innocent girl for marriage. Wife is boring, but safe. Mistress is interesting, but usually, whore.

Real gentleman is never gorilla man. Why some men are so popular in women company, but they never insult women?

You are real gentleman in this terms:

Your friends are different by nature. 

It means, you can deal with any kind of women. Educated, old, young, teenagers, grannies.

You gain respect to every woman, no matter is she pretty, ugly, old or young.

You allow woman to express different opinion, toward yours.

You make difference between your girlfriend and friends.

That means, you will not call every your female friend : honey, dear, darling, sweetheart. This words are for your girlfriend.

You never talk bad about your ex lovers.

Gorilla man is funny creature. He reminds on drunk guy at party. He is invited, but he breaks all glasses, swears, he is rude toward guests. At the end, host will kick him out. That is result of his behavior. You might be first in your village, but beware when you try with girls in big city. You might die hard.

I remember my friend’s story. He went to the club with local gorilla man. They went into capital. Gorilla was never there, and he tried his corny strategy, to hug every girl and buy beer for her. It was very unpleasant, because girls pushed him away. They were not interested for gorilla, because club where they went was full of independent women who already had their friends and boyfriends. Gorilla almost got kick in his ass. He was very upset, because in his village every woman fall on his charm.

Don’t be his option after he left you

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Two people will split after problematic relation, sooner or later. Breakup suppose to be an end, but is that really true?

You will see how much someone cared about you accord his behavior after breakup.

Three situations are possible :

If he is silent, if he doesn’t talk about you around, if he just greet you in the street, that was respectable relation. You could not agree with him, but you will not jump on each other like two wild beasts.

Breakups are not always civilized so you could be victim of harassment. He is calling you, stalking you, brag bad things about you, your private moments are now at internet, your friends know all details about your relation. Shortly, you have bad luck.

Third situation is the worst, because that is caught in the middle. He doesn’t want reunion with you, but he wants you as hidden lover.

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What this really means?

He will call you when he wish. Meanwhile, be silent.

He will not date with you in public. You are his secret.

He might has new girlfriend, but you should close eyes and wait him in hope to changes his mind. 

Now this is really big fall, from his priority until his option, but you love him and you think you will be together with him again if you show patience?

I would recommend you to show him teeth. It means, cut every connection which such guy who wish to drag you into gutter. You were couple, and now you will be his hoe?

If you ask me which crazy woman would accept this options, i know many.

Love is blind when you fall for someone and suddenly you lose him. He was yours, completely, but he chilled out, circumstances were bad, you were different, and he slipped from your hands.

I would say, let him go. If you must persuade him what he lost, i am afraid you will sink in your intentions to show your value.

Breakup is as dark, blind alley. There is no way out, this is final destination. Turn on and don’t come back. Person who cut connection must follow you and prove that here is still something left .

When guy has bad intention, he will treat his ex girlfriend as tool and toy, until something new comes out. Such guys are selfish. They ask fun in the middle, before new relation.

Respectable, honest man will spare you of this. He is not into you anymore, but he doesn’t want to humiliate you either. So he will say hello and how are you and that will be all. Thank you for playing, game over.

When you are not his first choice

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Cupid arrows are cruel tools. They will hit us straight into the heart and we will expect to get love back. What happens when sparks come just from one side?

World is full of wrong choices and discarded people. It happens even to the best. It is wrong thinking that you will be rejected because you are ugly, poor, not educated and not so smart. You can be the shiniest star, but still you can suffer because of wrong choice.

Usually, when women reject their fans, they do it gentle. We have fragile heart and we will feel sorry for a guy, but we will say decently “you are not what i need.” Only if guy is really violent and pushy, we will reject him on harsh way, because sometimes kindness is not enough to stop some people.

Men are different. Some men are indeed gentlemen and they will deny women with smile and words “sorry you are wonderful, but i am not interested.”. But, in men nature is that they don’t like too long explanations. Men will act short, with few words. “No, this girl is not for me, i am not into her.”

Problem exist when man is indeed unpleasant and vulgar. Such men don’t respect even own mother. Primitive men will reject women with vulgar words, but that will talk a lot about them, not about rejected women. This is example when guy will spit on love letter he got from some girl, when he will laugh on her poem which was made for him, and also when he will show her photos to his friends  and make bad jokes about them.

You fall in love in wrong guy? Be careful, men world is cruel. Especially now days. Some men will use women only for sex, because they want to fill their desires, but nothing more than that. After that you can expect everything. Video on internet, naked photos, rumors about your skills in bed. Men can even use your female friends against you.

Women will ask, but why he doesn’t want me, and why he is so harsh with me? 

Sean and Thalia were couple for a two years. Thalia was pretty, smart, sexy, educated and she was popular in her friend’s circle. She was hot tempered, but it was part of her charm. Sean was old fashioned guy, with double moral standards. He let himself to use women around and to treat them as things, but he judged Thalia because she was not virgin when she met him. She was star in every company, hilarious and world woman, she traveled around and enjoyed in new experiences. He was guy who like to spend night in front of television, in circle of his relatives and he built wall against anything new in his life. With time, he got jealous on her, not just because he was insecure that she could cheat him, it was because she got attention anywhere where she appeared, her mind was open and strong. He was as little peasant lost in big city. Some Thalia’s friends even laughed to him and they were so surprised how they ended up together.

When he broke relation, Thalia cried all day. She did everything to make him happy. She spent every moment with him. When his little niece was sick she got free day from work just to be with him as support. She defended him in front of people who did not like him. All was in vain.

As Thalia’s friend said : ” Dear, why you offered him Mercedes, when he like his Mini Morris? He is as Mr Bean, maybe little more handsome.”

So, if you think that successful and pretty women are not unhappy in love, you are wrong. Love will not spare you troubles even if you are Pamela Anderson, Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Anniston. They were also rejected because they were not first choices or for some other’s reasons.

You can offer stars and jewels to your man, but if he will not open you door when you are going out from his car, he is not worthy of efforts.

Some other men would show you the world, just to pay attention to them.