Troublemaker in our home



Our beloved ones are our weakness, because we will do everything to protect them . We will not believe what others say about our children, husband or parents. Even in law is written that wife doesn’t have to witness against her husband and opposite. Blood connection is not water, and love is strong bond. When it comes tough, we will close eyes and refuse to believe in the fact.

There is saying, when woman cheats husband , he will find out the last. This husband is not stupid , he will simply protect his vision about wife, as pure one. Jasmine and Colin were in long lasting marriage, with two adult sons. She was working in factory, and he was always proud on her, because she did not complain even on night shifts. She was good looking woman, good mother and wife. People around talked about her lovers, but Colin considered this as human envy. One of that lovers was even her boss, it happened during night shifts. After her affairs, Jasmine went home to get shower and with smile on her face. Poor Colin never believed in stories, even when his own brother talked about Jasmine as slut. He accepted good part of her and that vision stayed, for a lifetime.

We chose some people as safe shelter, as something we could lean on. Why to ruin our walls and safe harbors?

This attitude has price, so when we decide to live in illusion, situation will be next:

Person will use our forgiveness to act by her own, when she wish, and how much she wish.

One day that person can leave us, no matter how good we are.

People will laugh behind our back.

This person will be bad example, so others will try also to get their credits from us. When fool was born, let’s use that.

Naomi was good mother and her daughter Jean , teenager started to drink when she was 16. She hide bottles of vodka in basement, and her drinking buddies had party while Naomi was working. When Jean drunk  too much, they called emergency, and this was first time that Naomi found out this bitter truth. She was shocked, but with rest of clear mind she decided to get things in own hands. She simply went with Jean in clinic, on rehab. 

We are blind with healthy eyes when our beloved ones are considered as troublemakers. It is easy when it happens to someone else. Nobody is spare of problems, so until we talk about neighbor’s daughter, who changes guys as sock, let’s see in our own home. Who is sitting on the table during lunch with us, and who is sleeping in your bed? Maybe you share life with stranger.


Home sweet home


Parents are your basic, safe shelter, background in our life path. We need them to lean on them, to ask for an advice because they are older and wiser and they will give us part of their experience.

We grow up in them, under their safe umbrella. After some time, we must build our own life and that means we need to separate from them, to live in our own space.

But, what happens when we are already mature, and we still live in the same flat with our parents? In Croatia, 62% men and 39% women still live with their parents, even they are 25-29 years old. Every fourth man and woman from 30-34 age still live with parents.

What are reasons:

financial, they have no job or money

– they are not in marriage

– immaturity – they are not ready to take care of yourself

For sure every mother and father love their children, but after age of maturity , when that children finish school or college, that love become different. Parents are getting old, they have health problems and they are not so strong as before that they can handle every kind of problems. After age of 30, we should take care of our parents, to help them to live peacefully and safe.

Martina is 40 years old, she is not married, she even has no boyfriend and she lost job before one year. She spent her days in internet in desperate attempts to found right man. Her parents are not healthy, mother has problem with blood pressure, and father has problem with stomach. When she was out of city four days with unknown guy in some hotel, her parents were concerned and they lived in fear. It was random guy, someone who was not ready to marry Martina, even not in her dreams. He just wanted to have sex with her. She is adult woman and nobody can’t stop her but her parents were angry and disappointed. She did not learn nothing about life, even not alphabet of life.

Every morning Ana is buying fresh muffin for her beloved son. Nothing unexpected, but her son is 41 years old. That woman is 70 and she is walking very slowly, but her son doesn’t care, he is just hungry and lazy. He is playing guitar in one music band, they are playing music at weddings and sometimes he earns some money, but not enough. He has no permanent girlfriend, he even doesn’t try to find permanent job and his life is as teenager.

We can’t blame people who want to stay children forever. Their parents are those who let them to do this. Every mother who loves his son would be sometimes sharp with him. Boy must grow up in real man, and girl must be a woman. 

Responsibility is burden, but being irresponsible is much harder. One day you can be in situation that your mother or father die , you will have financial troubles and pay their credits because they take care of you too long. 

When you are mature person, you will not let your parents to make spoil brat from you. You will discuss with them on equal level and you will accept their love on mature way. Conversation between father and his mature son must be dialogue between two adult persons. You will not get up early to bring muffin to your spoiled son. He will bring this to you, because you educated him to do this.

You children are not in the cradle anymore, you will not buy them dolls and candies, and you will be proud because they learnt to be independent. This is the only way that you are not ashamed as parent.