couples · depression · erotica · flirt · prejudices · psychology · relations · responsibility

What happens in undefined relation?

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“I don’t know what i feel. ” “My feelings are mixed. ”  This kind of answers you will get when you fall in love in guy who is not into you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, he is just not in the same level as you expected.

When you crush in someone, your heart will give you wrong view, because everything he said or do you can understand as sign. He touched your shoulder and you think he wants you. He was kind with you and you think he cares about you. Unfortunately, love is not always fair, and sometimes we will fall in love in someone who is not able to give love back, because he simply doesn’t feel the same.

What kind of options you can expect in this situation?

He doesn’t like you at all, but he will reject you on gentle way.

 

He likes you, but as friend.

 

He wants to make love with you, but he doesn’t want relation.

I know women very well, and we all want to change men, to be the last love of some men. We believe that our situation can change if we play well. So if he calls you friend, this is indeed something, because many friendships turn into love. For example, Jadda Pinkett and Will Smith started as friends, they were long time friends and later their relation became love.

Here you must be an expert lady and if you ask golden piece in this bunch of stones, act slowly.

Some signs will help you to see do you have chance for something more than friendship.

He has no girlfriend, and every his relation broke, but you are still here as friend.

He spent much time in your company, and ask your opinion about everything.

He said some compliments about your clothes, body or face.

He is jealous on your male friends.

He asks you about your past and he is jealous on former boyfriends.

You have arguments with him, you both insulted each other, but he is still talking with you even you give him hard time.

If you see some of these signs, go in action, seduce him, because love is not fair game and this is lottery, but worthy of risk. You can lose friend, but if you love him and he doesn’t want to be with you , loss is here anyway. For sure you will not feel better if he doesn’t know about your feelings and suddenly some girl take your place.

Another part of this story is different. Some men are not fair players. They will not define their feelings, or they will call you friend, but with first opportunity they will ask sex from you.

Here, don’t let him to cross this line.

If you are in undefined relation, make some rules and remind him that he wanted this kind of game.

Don’t make love with him.

You can spend time with other guys, without asking his permission.

Don’t sacrifice your free time and favorite activities to listen his problems. He doesn’t deserve that.

If you are still not sure what is undefined relations, my male friend said to me this : “I found girl and we are not declared relation yet. We are dating three times at week, and meanwhile i got numbers from other girls. I am not ready yet.” Who can blame him, for game takes two.

Girls, if you doubt in nature of your friend/boyfriend, ask some confident male friend what he thinks about this. Men know the best other men and sometimes you will hear cruel truth from their mouth, because women are too romantic and sensitive to see things clear.

destiny · drama · dreams · moral · prejudices · psychology · relations · romance · seduction · sensibility

How is it feel when love is platonic?

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“I love him as best friend and brother. We understand each other as twins. He touched my spirit. But, i have no desires toward him.
This is definition of platonic love, relation about two persons based on friendship, without passion. When people make excuses why to stay together in relation which is not hot, they talk about platonic love. They will talk about stars which lose light with years. They will talk about common bills instead of kiss. Also, they will see family and relatives every time when they wish to make love. This kind of love should be free of every spontaneous reaction, anger, jealousy or rage. Platonic couple is connected with blood relation, and there is no jealousy because they have mutual roots.
I could mention many couples who fit into definition of platonic love. So, some of my female friends talked about this feeling, even they have no clue that is platonic.
” I don’t know am i fall in love or just loved by him. I mean, my ex, we were so hot, but my husband gives me safety. “
 
” We are not hot kids anymore. But we will grow old together. “
” Sex doesn’t matters anymore. We trust each other “
 
Platonic love is relation with weakness. There is always danger, when one person is more hungry for passion. Imagine Jean and Gavin. She was wild girl, and he was cool, flegmatic guy. Jean had power to excite Gavin, and he had power to make Jean calm. Butterflies were not around them after few years, but pure love was there. One day Jean fall in love in Marco, guy from internet. They connected through social network, in chat. First, she hated him because he was arrogant and rude, with ironic sense for jokes, he was mocking her on first sight. Later, they were fighting as warriors. How she could not stand him! Suddenly, they kissed and revealed new part of themselves. They wrote thousand hot messages, Jean explode as bomb. She was dry wood , and Marco made big flame, just with few steps. In the moment, Jean is flying between her marriage and virtual affair.
When two people share platonic love, they should be honest.
Some promises are necessary.
I can’t stay with you forever.
 
If you want to let go, i will agree. I don’t hold you.
 
If i sleep with someone, i take this piece which i miss. 
 
I am sure we will talk and deal about everything. We don’t bring quick decisions, we are reasonable duo. 
 
We care for each other health, we worry about each other but we have control. We will not make love in beach as crazy couple.
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Platonic love is flower without smell, or this smell disappeared with time. If you want to be spared of pain , platonic love is ideal for you because all is clear at beginning. Once when you start to accept things with heart, you will get out from platonic zone.
behavior · business · character · crises · depression · life · luck · prejudices · psychology · relations

How you deal with obstacles in your life?

When you have to deal with problems, usually you will get advice: “Be strong.” Our characters are different and we will handle our hard moments on different ways.

 

Someone will cry and breakdown is possible.

You pass through tough breakup or divorce? You will need hand, but the main decision is on you, how you will handle this situation. If you are strong person, you will not ring on the door of your friends every time when you feel sad and when your ex is missing you. Very important part is your pride. Face it with problems because they will not run away over night.

Life can be as earthquake, ground is shaking under your feet when bad things start to ruin your safety. Time of crises is an explosion. Bomb is here, your life will crush, you will collect small pieces , behind of you is sound of rattle and you are lost. Strong person will consider this situation as challenge. Well, life is testing me, so let me see how i can deal with this. I am fighter, so my odds are not big, but i am in the game. That moron left me and i will find better guy. In fact he do me a favor. I had no power to leave him, but i will be enough strong not to call him back.

If you are weak, you will think about suicide, because for you now is end of the world.
I will not love anyone as i loved him, he was everything to me and my life is over, so i will start to plan my funeral. This pathetic elegy is the main problem of weak people, they give up even they still have chance to fix things. We can see this difference in childhood. Little weak boy lose in monopoly game. He will cry, he is furious and next time he will not play, because he afraid of defeat. His friend is brave guy. He will also lose, but he can’t wait next time. This is adrenaline, challenge. He is very happy to get this kind of revenge. Now i will smash him and i will win, this is how he thinks.

 

When you got bad mark at school, will you give up from studying? Let’s leave school, all this is shit and i don’t want to bother anymore. Or, you will prove to teacher that you are not idiot. You are candidate for excellent mark next time.

 

Life is not fairy tale. If anyone thinks that life is just unwrapped gift, that person is very wrong. We can see in movies that some people can get anything because they are benefited, powerful or simply lucky. This is not realistic view. Behind every victory and happiness is a background. If you dig into other’s life, you will see pain, grief, struggle. Ask reach businessman how he gets success. His money doesn’t come from the sky right into his hands. It was hard battle, and way to success was full of thorns.

Darwin said: “Only the strongest survive.” The strongest people are not those who are over 100 kilograms weight . They are not wrestlers or kick boxers. Real strength came out from clear mind. You might beat everyone if you are resistant, if you don’t give up and if you believe in yourself. If someone thinks opposite, make a challenge. Real fighter will respond on your challenge. Coward will hide in the rat hole and eventually, he will gossip you behind your back.

behavior · character · crises · destiny · drama · dreams · prejudices · psychology · relations

Did you want to get rid of bad partner?

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A bird in hand is better than two in the bush. Can you base your relation on this proverb? If you can, your keyword is safe zone. Now here is another extremity. What would you say that someone gives you partner as gift? You think that is impossible. Well, this gift is Trojan horse, but you are not aware of this yet.

When you fall in love, you are able to do anything for person who captured your heart. Some actions will be insane , because steps in love are made by blind and deaf person. You don’t care what others say because in front of you is just one aim – person you love. In this searching, you will refuse to see humility, dishonor and mocking by third parts. This is price you pay, and nothing is expensive for your soulmate. Or you think so.

 

How is possible that your  partner is gift with suspicious content?

You are second choice. Or third or fourth.

Guy came in night club and ask for a girlfriend. After 3  girls rejected his offer for drink, you might be forth, and he will pay attention on you because your friends rejected him.

His ex abandoned him, and he desperately seeks for replacement.

Fresh breakup is cruel thing. Time to recover his ego, and the best option is another girlfriend.

His mother recommended him to date with you, and he is not in situation to say no.

 

Maybe your parents are best friends, business partners of your possible soulmate or they just like to pick instead of you.

His ex wants to get rid of him but her all attempts fails.

 

Sometimes, guys don’t want to listen word no. They run for their ex, as “it is not over until i finish this. ” So, maybe his ex wants to forward him to other women.

Think about your ex relations. Would you do favor for your ex, who is still in love with you, just to bury feeling of guilt, would you help him to find someone else? That is not easy task. Sometimes, he can compare new person to you, and this woman could be in situation “if she wants him back, i will be kicked out as shit. ” Some girls are selfish. They break up with guys , but still they wants to be part of their lives. So, they will call them even they don’t want to date with them again. They will ask for help even they can ask someone else. Simply, they don’t want to break the last connection between them and ex boyfriend.

Travis was in turbulent relation with Rose. They were split few times, and meanwhile he was with another girls. Every time when Travis started something new, Rose involved to ruin him this. Travis was Trojan horse. They could not be together, but also separation was hard for them. New girl came on scene in this story. Helen was in love in Travis and they were two months together. Rose decided to let him go, they had mutual deal not to talk and not to meet again. On New year’s Eve Travis broke that deal. He was in the same night club as Rose, but with Helen. In midnight, Travis wanted to wish happy New year for Rose. Helen was following him and stand next to Rose, to talk with her. Rose was furious. She was angry more on Travis, who broke the deal. She said some bad things to Helen, it was not pleasant night. Few days later Helen broke relation with Travis. She did not wanted to stay with guy who did not cut his past.

There is statement about men, who will harder fall out from love than women. Some women are fatal for them.

Is that broken heart or broken ego, or just wish to prove that they can have that girl, but they don’t want? Proud girls, wild girls and girls with strong attitude are always the most greatest trophies. Sometimes guy will feel humiliation when such girl say that is over.

If you think that some guy falls too soon for you, if he wants to marry you after few months, if he is down on his knees and full of sweet words, think about is he maybe Trojan horse. Maybe in his background is woman who broke his heart, and you are just replacement behind curtains.

patience · phobia · prejudices · psychology · rebellion · responsibility · society

Why i don’t like Monday?

 

In year 1979 , at Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, Brenda Ann Spencer was shooting and killed two people. Eight were injured in this terrible event, and when police ask her why she did it, she replied :”I don’t like Mondays. ” She was only 16 and she surrended immediately , without resistance. She inspired Bob Geldof to write song “Why i don’t like Monday”, and Boomtown Rats made music, so it was favourite song on top lists, as reminder on this terrible crime.

Monday phenomenon is not an exception, because many of us will say “i hate Monday.” No matter if you get up early for school, or you are travelling on the road to your job, you will notice traffic jam or crowd and it will upset you, especially because you realized that weekend is over. Our body and mind are in shock, because after relaxing we must back to reality and daily obligations. You will not shoot nobody, but you will be furious , nervous and frustrated.

It is not recommended that you have exam or business meeting in Monday morning. Your mind is still sleepy and even bunch of coffee cups will not help you. Remember how many times you did not sleep well at Sunday, because tomorrow is damn Monday and your duties are waiting for you.

Accord this statistic, mostly car accidents, 1072 happen between Sunday and Monday, at midnight and 3 a.m.

Results from researching in Hong Kong, from 1989-2001 shown that Monday is suicide day. 22% of suicides were committed at Monday. They made conclusion, suicides happens because of family arguments, which started at weekend and continued in Monday.

Why is Monday such notorious day ?

You realise that your problems start again, even you may forgot it at weekends.

If you delayed something, Monday will remind you on deadline.

If you started diet and broke your rules at weekend, you must start again from Monday.

You are unsleepy after party nights with lot of alcohol.

Your vacation is over and you must back to work.

 

Monday is indeed cut from fantasies and return to reality. This day is useful as alert. Brenda Ann Spencer made terrible action to pull attention on herself.

Did she choose Monday randomly or with purpose? We can guess.

anxiety · crime · drama · prejudices · psychology · responsibility · rules

How publicity rape victim second time?

Topic about raping is always sensitive area. Partly, people will judge abuser, but victim will not stay untouched too. Some will wonder, did victim provoke attack? What she wore? Why she was drinking? How she behaved? Some will wonder about manipulation, and others will pity naive person.

This is one example how things went wrong. Place of event: city Zadar. Persons: five guys, one girl. All are young and they still going to high school.  Young girl were raped on the beach, since late evening until early morning. She was drunk and her memory was empty.  Her body was wounded and her mother reported this event another day.

The victim said she did not know all that guys, they just met at party, while she was drunk and vomit, so they offered taxi to drive her home. Instead of safe way home, she was raped.

Not all is so simple. When woman is raped, she will fight, bite, scratch man who force her for sex. That girl did not remember at all. Young guys used opportunity, when she was totally drunk to use her. New Criminal law in Croatia consider this criminal act as sex without acceptance. That means, if victim change her mind during sex, that is denial. Punishment for this criminal act is easier than for rape. Also, young guys were not convicted before, this is their first criminal act.

What happens if woman is not able to say no? 

For sure, it doesn’t mean acceptance. No matter, if woman is drunk, numb or retarded, if she is not able to say yes, if she is under pills or drugs, this is force. Young guys understood this as part of wild, sick game and they used opportunity. They were competition, who will do “work” on better way. Like in movie with Jodie Foster “The accused”. That girl was alone, unprotected, she wanted to have fun and she got horror story.

Now, she is exposed to be victim one more time. Court trials are painful, every law rule has hole, and no matter what will happen with this guys, she will be damaged to the rest of her life. It was bad fate or she was not careful?  Maybe her parents did not take care enough? Consequences are here, no matter what caused that event.

Law is here to protect us, police is here to make law rules real, parents are here to educate us, but we must think about our acts at first.

The point of this story is, nobody can take care of you enough if you don’t take care of yourself. You know your environment and places which are notorious on some way, you know that is not safe to walk alone in the middle of the night.

Nobody said that you are completely safe if you have boyfriend or if you don’t go out tonight, but by logic, chances to be in danger are smaller if you are not alone. It is like in jungle, lion will stalk fove when she walks alone in free space. After that lion will tear weak animal on pieces.

That is what that guys did, they drag this girl alone in the car. The rest was history. Consequences will stay even it supposed to be just one night for party.

beauty · behavior · character · drama · life · prejudices · psychology · relations

Are you typical tender woman ?

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Pink color is for girls, blue is for guys – that is first difference between genders which we noticed in childhood. This statement talks about women more than it seems like. It considers woman as fragile, gentle creature who will cry if you touch her and it gives man obligation to cherish her with attention.

If you are man with such draft, for sure your will consider woman as someone who likes flowers, romantic song and movies, someone who confirm your every word and clap hands when you express your attitude. You will expect that woman should be always kind, nice and with smile on her face. Also, you will not tolerate conflicts because it is not woman’s business to involve in man’s things. As in middle age, woman who was arguing should be exposed on square as bad example.

Some men have no idea about woman’s shades. Women are not black and white, bad and good. Woman is more than pretty hair, cute smile and gentle words. Woman is strong inside more than you think.

Trouble happens when macho man, so called alpha wolf try to deal with blunt woman.

Gerard used to deal with many women. Mostly, they fall on his charm and obeyed to him. He started to get bored, because they were all the same. He did not remember even their names. His strategy was the same : sweet words , flowers, chocolate, dinner with candles, walking by the sea in his city and hot night in hotel. After that, Gerard kept contact with them , but not because he cared, just because to call them again when it will be their turn. He picked women from the same basket. They were about 10-15 years older than he, mostly lonely, divorced or hungry for love.

Then he met Alicia. She was blunt woman, tired of bad experiences but full of life. It was something at her what captured his heart immediately, her strong will and defiance. Even when she slept with him, she did not want to obey. She did all opposite to his wishes, because she heard about his reputation. She left his city without notify him and later send him message that they don’t match together. She saw his cell phone full of naked videos and she decided, not to be part of this. Gerard felt he fall in love first time in his life, and all he could do to wait her to change her mind. Alicia asked for serious relation, and Gerard had dilemma, to say goodbye to her or to his previous life. Meanwhile, one of his mistresses, Helga, called him to arrange meeting. She said, i am in your city and i am coming for half hour. Gerard promised to himself, it will be last time and then i will call Alicia to come back to me. Gerard entered into hotel’s coffee bar to drink coffee with Helga.  Suddenly he felt that someone is watching him. Near this table, woman with black shades smiled to him. It was Alicia, who came back to give him another chance. When she saw Helga, she approached to their table and said : “Enjoy in this coffee, even i think it gets cold already. ” Gerard never saw Alicia again.

To get back on the start of this story, different women need different approach. Some women will be pleased even for crumbs of man’s attention. Other women will never accept to stand in the line and share man with other women. So, we are different. Some of us will more appreciate invitation of football match than rose petals. Some of us will accept to sleep on the floor with right man better than to spend night in expensive hotel . If you are man, and if you use wrong approach for woman you like, think about where you went wrong.

If you love woman, you should start from her nature, not from generalization, that girls are pink, and boys are blue. Some of us are black, violet and red, and you should have guts to stand near our fire.

character · couples · crises · cyber space · depression · erotica · prejudices · relations

Why quiet couples often break up?

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Life in harmony is perfect. No conflicts, no broken nerves, all is perfect, we can almost hear sound of violin in background. Just, unfortunately, eternal harmony is not real, because life is not a fairy tale. Life is much harder and more complicated than movie or fairy tale.

When someone say “we are never fighting”, that person lie. It is impossible to have healthy relation without conflicts from time to time. I don’t say that you must smash plates or beat your partner, but conflicts are healthy way to express what is wrong and how to fix that, to live better.

Susan and Edward live in marriage 20 years. She said that she never had conflict with her husband. Simply, he is the boss. He knows the best. He brings decisions, and Susan smile and confirm whatever her husband decided. But, many times she is crying in her room when she is alone. She learnt to wipe her tears, to put makeup and to wait her husband with smile. Because, why he should know that she is unhappy? He brings money, he take care for their children, and why to bother him with such irrelevant problems as her depression? He is often absent and on business trips, and she is alone at home, but the main thing is, he always come back. Sometimes angry, sometimes she find track of lipstick on his shirts, but he will never leave her. Why should, indeed with Susan anyone can feel as king, with all powers.

Her friend Natasha has different story. Natasha was in relation with Alan, and they had many arguments. Natasha is gifted with long tongue and Alan is softhearted, like girl. The problem was that Natasha expressed her opinion on nice way, even she loved Alan so much and she could not swallow what is bothering her. But, Alan’s ego was bigger than skyscraper and he left her. Now Alan is in relation with other woman  and that woman is indeed his slave, because he caught her in a trap of emotional blackmail. He said, he will leave if she will complain on anything.

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Quiet couples don’t live in harmony. 

They live in artificial, fake peace. They swallow lies, anger, rage, and they are slaves of their dominant partners. One mature relation can handle conflict, also mature people will upgrade their relations with conflicts. Just, such kind of people are equal, they have healthy way of thinking and strong characters. 

Indeed relations are not for kids. People must handle things as adults, with courage, and without selfishness. Indeed, relations are for two people, and every time you say or do something, ask yourself what your other part thinks about it. 

abstinence · couples · crises · happiness · illusion · passion · prejudices · relations

Status “not single” – “not taken”

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Did you ever find yourself in the middle of nowhere , even you date with someone? Hank is one of guys who stuck in long relation. He feels unhappy because this relation doesn’t fill his needs, but he has no strength to get out from this. When his best friend Linda asked him why he can’t be alone, he replied : “I need someone to hold on.” Fear from loss and loneliness are basic elements of ruined relations, because people will stay in them even they look like abandoned houses. These are type of relations which doesn’t exist indeed, they are only walls for protection.
If we talk about love statuses, we can find interesting informations about people who are neither single, neither taken. This is kind of vacuum between love and hate, where two partners hold on each other, even they are aware that things will not work out.
Here are some stories which i heard randomly, and it can be related to “not single – not taken” statuses.
I have neighbor, he is handsome and busy, and i like him. He comes to me at dinner , i care about him when he is drunk and sometimes we have sex. But we are not in relation.”
 
“Me and my ex wife live in the same house. Officially, we are divorced, but we can’t deal about property. So until court solve this issue, we live together, even i did not touch her for a year.”
 
” I am in virtual marriage. Yes, you can laugh to me. Indeed i have wife and children, they are grow up, but they all don’t care about me. So i find young girl at social network, we are together every day at skype and whatsapp and i feel happy with her. So we decided to get marry on internet.”
 
” I live with my mother but i spend every day in house of my girlfriend. We will not get marry , my mother is cooking and washing my laundry, and my girlfriend is here to make me smile. I don’t want to be alone.”
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What real relation needs?
Obligation. Some people are irresponsible, so they don’t want commitment.
Fidelity. You need to focus on one person. If that person can’t fill your whole heart, you will hard decide about relation.
Division. Relation is deal. What is yours, that is mine and opposite. If you can’t share anything with other person, you don’t want to be in relation.
Stability. You can’t change opinion every day, about your future. You must be sure about your feelings.
When you are in the middle of romance, you are someone who is half hungry. You will taste cake, but you will not eat all. You don’t want to stay hungry, but you are not ready for big bite.
Vacuum romances are stories on half way. What is the purpose? You will realise what you need and what you don’t need. This person is maybe your experimental rabbit, someone who will take you into the main road, but the rest you will do alone.
You can ask yourself questions to test your real feelings. Can i live without her? If he leave, can i handle this or he will terribly miss me?
Method of elimination will give the best answers. Maybe you don’t know what you want, but if you eliminate unnecessary things you will get answer what is really important to you.
character · egoism · envy · internet · loyalty · patience · prejudices · relations

How to survive as weirdo?

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Some people were born to act accord social rules. As they have drafts what to say or to do in particular situations. “He knows to behave” or ” She is well educated” are just some of descriptions. When you fit in, you are safe from gossips and your circle of friends is big. Or, you just think on this way? If you are clumsy and simply stand out from usual patterns, you will have problem to be part of society, but your failures will help you to be more original.
Did you feel that you are part of wrong movie? Your personal twilight zone doesn’t have to be your disaster. For example, if you stuck between female friends who knows all about baking cakes, and you wish to disappear, it doesn’t mean that you are shame for woman species. I personally felt much better when i was drinking beer and watching football match Croatia – Mexico with my husband and male friends, when we all had so much fun even result was not good for us. I did not see myself with women who trade recipes for domestic cookies.  Probably i would yawn from boredom.
When you can be sure that you are different?
When everyone has something to say in group, and you don’t have opinion or you get bored.
 
When you feel that nobody listen your suggestions.
 
When others start to whisper and gossip about you, and you feel uncomfortable.
 
When you say something what makes others to wonder.
 
One interesting fact is : woman outsider has harder way than man outsider. Different guy is sexy and cool, but rebellious, strange woman is danger. She scares men. She could be victim of bullying. Also she could be declared as target for sex, because her mind is opened. It is not rarity that guys like to have sex with freaky women. She might know different things in bed, and she doesn’t runaway from exploring.
How you will play in this wrong movie, it depends on your character. Will you back up because all are against you, or you will walk in front of this crowd?
Some tips in this case:
Smile if crowd start to mock you. Smile is sign of self confidence.
 
Reply them on cool way. Don’t make your voice tremble. 
 
Don’t try to persuade others that you are not different than them. This is your protecting brand. If you listen heavy metal, and they are listening pop, it doesn’t make you bad person. You are not satanic person with horns.
 
Say what you think even this is opposite from majority. Let they stare at you.
Weirdos are more intelligent people and they have keys to freedom. If your clothes is different, if your accent is funny, if you eat vegan foods and everyone around you eat meat, you don’t have to be ashamed because of this. One my friend came in continental part of Croatia , and she was from Dalmatia. Her accent was different but she was talking loud and with smile, even people looked at her as she is an alien. Be proud of your roots no matter from where are you from, who are your parents and who is your partner. That is the only way that you play main role in this wrong movie, and this is not role of social clown.