Some positive thoughts for my followers

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I wish to all my followers happy Friday.

Here I share some of my positive, inspirational thoughts which helps me in hard moments:

If you wish to survive, you will not afraid of challenge.

The biggest risk is to do nothing.

Don’t call past, there is nothing new to hear.

People who criticize you are kind of injections. Take this needle as motivation for your progress.

Don’t underestimate yourself, that is not your job. Others will try to sabotage you anyway.

Haters are just your followers from other side of mirror.

Never lose your sense for humor. Jokes might help you to survive the day.

 

For the end, this is me. My virtual friend spelled my name wrong, I am Kristina. He made this photo as sign of friendship, but he forgot to  spell it right.

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Are you person without plans?

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When you see life as kind of game, you are playing as kid in the sand. Nothing is serious for you, because you are having good fun. Then, something happens and you will understand life on different way, more seriously. Now party is over and it is time to settle down.

Love also consists from phases. First guy you kissed maybe was your classmate in school and you will not remember him. Then, it was story of your life. Later you lost your virginity with cool man, and after that you found guy who wants to marry you . Now all before that became ridiculous.

Mine friends used to say such things about their former boyfriends:

“I was so stupid when i did calls every day and night. His mother knew my voice, i even talked with her.”

“I was hitchhiking just to see him, because he did not want to visit me.”

“I cut my hair because he prefers short hair.”

All that dramas were intro , because our experiences leads us to maturity. This is normal when you pass such things as teenager, and in thirties you are person who knows what she wants or she already got it.

Sometimes, life play cruel games, and some gifts which you supposed to get in certain period will skip you.

Which kind of people are immature in soul forever?

Man who did not kiss a girl, and he is already 30.

Woman who changed many men, and still she did not find right one, even she is already in certain ages.

People who live with parents after 30.

People who save their virginity even they are over 30.

Life is not pattern, and we are walkers through this path. Some women will never get married or have children, the same as same men. Nothing is guaranteed. When life skips over you, you are chosen to stay child in the heart and soul. You will see that something important miss you, and also you will try to replace this.

How to be happy when you did not get what you wished?

Travel around, you will see things which you never saw before.

Go on parties, football matches, birthdays, events. 

Make new friendships.

Find some hobbies.

Strange things happen when two people, who are somehow damaged, meet together. Charlie lived with parents even he was already 30. He had bad love experiences and also he was a virgin. His days were the same, he did not know when was Monday, and when was weekend because he was watching movies nightly and working daily. Then Victoria came to his city, as tourist, with travel agency. She wanted to know London and accidentally he met her in one museum. They started to talk about history and she invited him on coffee. He was confused, but he accepted. Victoria was divorced, 40 years, still attractive and she did not have children. She was cheerful as little girl. Charlie never laughed so much, they continued contact over internet when she left in her country. They were two lost souls , victims in life who skipped them. In the moment they are talking about future, how to be together , because they recognized each other.

When life pass over you, clap your hands and don’t give up to be noticed by life. Some people carry bigger burden than others. Accept this as sign that you are not ordinary. Maybe you don’t have husband or children, but you were on places where others will never be and you did things which others will never do. Life gifts are not the same for everybody. Some have different package. You are just one of the people without plans.

Who is your friend with benefits?

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You are hungry for passion and you are not in relation? Relation is indeed obligation and it takes lot of attempts to find right partner. Sometimes we can be so busy that we have no time to focus on special person in our life, to reply on every SMS and every phone call, to support that person in the case of troubles or problems.

If we are not ready for relation, we must be honest. Here is an option if you don’t want to be alone but also if you don’t want to be bonded with someone. This solution is friend with benefit.

Samantha was excellent student, she was running for future career and education was her dream. She wanted to become successful lawyer. All her relations broke because she was so busy with exams, seminars and also she was working in library during her free time. Her partners felt that they are  unnecessary things and all gone from her life. This stressful life make her frustrated because she needed sex. She didn’t want to be promiscuous because of her reputation. So she had deal with her best friend Frank. From time to time, they had dates with sex. Frank was single, also not ready for obligations and he liked Samantha so they had casual sex once at week. But then Frank found girlfriend and Samantha became jealous. He was cheating his regular girlfriend with Samantha and that relation broke. Frank and Samantha involved feelings and they became real couple. This story had happy ending.

 

Melissa had no such luck. Her friend Ronald used her for sex, but she hoped it will be different. She realized after one year that it will never change, because Melissa was only sexual toy for Ronald. He was nice with other girls, but he did not know when Melissa has birthday, what is her’s sister name and so many things important to respect person. She took him benefits and broke that connection, with tears.

What is important if you decide to have friend with benefit?

check out is that person single

– accept that is deal only for sex

– don’t be jealous on his or her private life, your meetings are just for sex

– you can get out from that “relation” anytime, without explanation

– don’t judge or blame your friend with benefit, it was deal from the start

If you are not stable person, if you live in dreams or it is easy to deceive you, this kind of relation is not for you. This is game of nerves and your feelings must shut down. Even if that “relation” become something serious, it will not be with force or because you beg for real love. It will be spontaneous.

 

Think about that person, how much benefits he or she deserve , because you are master of your body. Also be sure that person knows to keep a secret, because some people are corny and traditional. Maybe your future partner could not accept that you had friend with benefit. Let it be your sweet secret.

When you will put your hand on fire?

 

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Charles Darwin said : “Only the strongest survive.” What happens with people who are not so strong , will they vanish ? That kind of people deserve good defense. As lion will defend lioness, in human blood is to protect children and others who can’t stand for their rights alone.

What would you do for your dearest friends, brothers, sisters, and for your sweetheart if someone tried to hurt them? I believe, as much you despise violence , you would to everything to protect them from evil.

When i was little girl, i went with my younger sister in park, at playground. There was swing  and she was swinging . She was 4 years old, and i was 8. Suddenly, older boy came and start to push her, he wanted to swing too. I was afraid that she will fall and hurt herself, so i slapped him into face with fist. He pushed me, but i was so furious that i was punching him with all my strength so he started to cry from fear. I was little monster, and my father came to separate us. That boy never approached to me after this.

Now i am thinking on this way. I don’t afraid for myself because i am enough strong to resist to every threat. I afraid for people who are close to my heart. I believe that many people think on this way, because it is much easier to take care for yourself than for others. That is responsibility. You know yourself, you will get up after fall , you will arise from the dust. How it will be with others? Look at behavior of duck. She fly around to pull attention on herself, to protect  little ducks in the case of attack of wild animals. That is her instinct for survival, she will rather sacrifice herself for the sake of her little family.

Real face of friends and enemies is revealed when they are in danger. 

Mafia association is established on this basic rule: “once when you join to us , there is no way back, just in coffin. ” So they will hurt you and members of your family. If you drag your beloved people in your troubles, it will hurt you more than own death.

You will also guess thinking of kidnappers: “I want  money of this rich man and i will ask for big ransom, i will take away his daughter or son.”

Our beloved people are our Ahil’s feet. Everyone has a price, and once you press red button, that person is in your power.

 

If you are devoted person, this is your advantage because people can count on you. You are diamond treasure, so your friends are under your shelter. Bad side of this value is that someone can use your devotion in bad purposes, to take an advantage. Don’t be action hero for someone who doesn’t deserve this, there is no sense to put hand in fire for insignificant person. People who interfere in street fights are not always clever, they can get out with broken nose, and others will not say even thanks.

After all, devotion is protected and authorized. Not everyone is able to reach this, but those who have it, are lucky. It is nice when you are connected with someone who will put hand on fire for you .

Now, what do you think, who is worthy that you risk for him? Or, did you regret because you put hand on fire for wrong person?

Thank you 600 followers

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Before i continue with new posts, i wish to say thanks to my followers. Thanks for your attention, comments, suggestion and inspiration.

I am not typical blogger, i don’t write kind of diary as ” i had this for breakfast” cause i am not Beyonce that someone would be interested for that. I write stories from my experience and always protect my sources. Also, i don’t like when someone put link under my blog, i will always moderate this because i think promotion is good only when is allowed. If i want to follow your blog, i will do it by myself, i don’t need push button. Also i never put my links on other blogs, unless is theme about promoting blogs.

I like constructive comments, critics, also i comment under blogs which got my attention. Here are wonderful bloggers, it is also inspirational sourcing for me, cause i can learn a lot from other bloggers, especially cause English is not my mother tongue and i do mistakes in spelling or grammar. What i would never do, to hire professional translator. That would not be me. Also i am not expert for psychology and i would never interfere into professional area, to give some expert advices. My profession is law and i have rich life experience, so what i write, i write from my heart.

I hope my number of followers will increase more with time, and i wish you great inspiration on this start of new week.

How to treat immature jerk after breakup?

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Wise quote says: “About ex’s and dead people talk the best. ” When everyone should support this, breakups would be easier. Breakup by itself is hard thing, no matter how much compromises you got and how much time you spent in relation. Even relation faded or you started to feel boredom, when this moment come, one part of your life is over and you need to turn another page.

There are few truths about breakups:

You will see with whom you were in relation after he gone.

You will see how much person respected you after he gone.

You will see who is your replacement and that will be sign how much you meant to him.

Mature men will never talk bad about women after their relation finished. Simply, accord their beliefs, that is private thing. It is not necessary to talk about this with other family members, with friends, or neighbors. Let’s forget and move forward. She was awesome, but she was not the right one.

If you had bad luck to involve with jerk, things are different. Immature men are the ones with big ego. It has not anything with love. He maybe did not give a fuck , but now when you are not with him, you are the worst creature in this Earth. He must seek revenge, to prove others that you are bad half of this story, and that he was good guy.

After Marc split with Ellen, he was silent at first. His last words were : “Don’t call me, don’t disturb me, don’t write me. ” Ellen accepted this even she had period of sadness , because they split on ugly way. Two week passed, and then she found message in her inbox , at her social page. It was a photo, Marc with two women who hugged him. They were older than he and not pretty. Marc wanted to hurt Ellen, to show her muscles , because he wanted to see her pain. Instead of this, Ellen hit him in his weak spot, it was money . Marc had money debts, and Ellen knew he borrowed money from older ladies. So Ellen wrote to him : “Please don’t disturb me, i am busy. I hope that ladies paid you drink, and i am glad you found your soul mate, so at least you will leave me alone.”

Marc was furious. It was not what he expected. After all, she should be angry or sad, she should sink in tears. Instead of this, Ellen had good fun, she was sarcastic. She laughed to him. He did not write her again.

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What to do when you have to deal with immature jerk after breakup?

Be silent, even he provokes you.

If you reply him , make it short, and walk away with smile.

Block him messages or profile on social pages.

Block his number .

Don’t talk about him with his friends.

If he is persistent, tell him that you are very busy.

Don’t drag other people in your conflict. 

This situation could be painful. You might believe that he wants to get back to you, but truth is different. Such man seeks revenge, because you did something wrong accord his beliefs, you hurt his ego or he could not put you into cage. Dominant men are like these, they wish to humiliate independent women who will not listen every his word.

You need to draw a line between ego and romance. If he wanted to get back to you, he would apologize at first. He would send you flowers, talk nicely with you, and he would be alone. Men who jump into other relation soon after breakup is just a player. Or he is so insecure that he needs shoulder for crying.

The worst thing you can do is to make a conflict with his present girlfriend. She has nothing with you. She is here now, who knows how long she will stay, and after all, she got your luggage. She will see by herself what kind of character is this man.

Are you typical tender woman ?

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Pink color is for girls, blue is for guys – that is first difference between genders which we noticed in childhood. This statement talks about women more than it seems like. It considers woman as fragile, gentle creature who will cry if you touch her and it gives man obligation to cherish her with attention.

If you are man with such draft, for sure your will consider woman as someone who likes flowers, romantic song and movies, someone who confirm your every word and clap hands when you express your attitude. You will expect that woman should be always kind, nice and with smile on her face. Also, you will not tolerate conflicts because it is not woman’s business to involve in man’s things. As in middle age, woman who was arguing should be exposed on square as bad example.

Some men have no idea about woman’s shades. Women are not black and white, bad and good. Woman is more than pretty hair, cute smile and gentle words. Woman is strong inside more than you think.

Trouble happens when macho man, so called alpha wolf try to deal with blunt woman.

Gerard used to deal with many women. Mostly, they fall on his charm and obeyed to him. He started to get bored, because they were all the same. He did not remember even their names. His strategy was the same : sweet words , flowers, chocolate, dinner with candles, walking by the sea in his city and hot night in hotel. After that, Gerard kept contact with them , but not because he cared, just because to call them again when it will be their turn. He picked women from the same basket. They were about 10-15 years older than he, mostly lonely, divorced or hungry for love.

Then he met Alicia. She was blunt woman, tired of bad experiences but full of life. It was something at her what captured his heart immediately, her strong will and defiance. Even when she slept with him, she did not want to obey. She did all opposite to his wishes, because she heard about his reputation. She left his city without notify him and later send him message that they don’t match together. She saw his cell phone full of naked videos and she decided, not to be part of this. Gerard felt he fall in love first time in his life, and all he could do to wait her to change her mind. Alicia asked for serious relation, and Gerard had dilemma, to say goodbye to her or to his previous life. Meanwhile, one of his mistresses, Helga, called him to arrange meeting. She said, i am in your city and i am coming for half hour. Gerard promised to himself, it will be last time and then i will call Alicia to come back to me. Gerard entered into hotel’s coffee bar to drink coffee with Helga.  Suddenly he felt that someone is watching him. Near this table, woman with black shades smiled to him. It was Alicia, who came back to give him another chance. When she saw Helga, she approached to their table and said : “Enjoy in this coffee, even i think it gets cold already. ” Gerard never saw Alicia again.

To get back on the start of this story, different women need different approach. Some women will be pleased even for crumbs of man’s attention. Other women will never accept to stand in the line and share man with other women. So, we are different. Some of us will more appreciate invitation of football match than rose petals. Some of us will accept to sleep on the floor with right man better than to spend night in expensive hotel . If you are man, and if you use wrong approach for woman you like, think about where you went wrong.

If you love woman, you should start from her nature, not from generalization, that girls are pink, and boys are blue. Some of us are black, violet and red, and you should have guts to stand near our fire.

Did you try to reanimate dead relation?

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When people fall in love, someone is always in advantage. That belongs to person who love less on first sight. In this circumstances, such person has slow reactions, heart is locked and self control is on the highest level. Other half in this couple is more sensitive, fragile and more available as emotional target.
The same happens when people start to chill out from romantic blindness. Person who chill out first is also in advantage. Yesterday she was crazy about you and she did not notice your bad breath, short legs or not so slim belly. Today she said that you should wash teeth more often, that you are not so fit and that she can’t get horny on you. So when we love even monkey is beautiful. When we don’t love anymore, we see things as they are and our criticism blinks on every detail.
Remember your ex boyfriends or girlfriends from the past. Today you will smile or even regret why you did such choice. But on other side, maybe reactions will not be the same. Maybe person is still into you and they can’t forget or chill out.
What happens when person can’t forget ex love, even it is very clear that it will never come back again?
You stand on the same place. It is impossible to move on because you are frozen.
 
You blame ex partner for all failures in your love life, even he vanished from your life a long time ago.
 
You don’t notice new people around you.
 
You try to get revenge and to ruin other life because of pain you feel inside.
Person who can’t forget made damage to yourself. 
 
Imagine that you try to get back person who forgot you a long time ago.

 
This is possible development of this story.
 
She will laugh to you.
 
If you disturb to your ex partner , she will call police or someone who will make your life miserable.
 
She can sue you for hurting her privacy and also is possible to ask access barring.
Now you think about, is that worthy, that people feel sorry for you or make jokes with you? Just because your ego is suffering?

My general opinion about people who can’t accept word no is that they never loved this fatal person. 

When you love someone and when relation broke, you will walk your way and let person to be happy, even without you. We all lose some battles in life and we can’t have it all what we imagined. Why to keep someone in fear just because our ego can’t stand defeat? This is obsession, not love.

Naomi had big problems with her ex boyfriend Ted. Long time after they broke up her phone was ringing in the middle of the night and she could not sleep well because she was disturbed by this calls. Ted was following her in all places where she went, but she was persistent in her decision. She ignored him and she was cold as an iceberg. Ted soon realized his nonsense so he left her alone.

When you are stalking person who left you a long time ago, you are catching shadow. 

That shadow will be around you, but you can’t touch her because it is forward you. Also, you are wasting your precious time which will never come back again.

Remember when you had beautiful rose . After few days that rose faded. Even you changed water in vase , that rose was without color and smell. Soon it was dry plant and all you could do is to put this into trash box. The same is with love from the past, you need to close this chapter because it ended a long time ago.

Experience – gift or burden?

Experience is gift with double meaning. We learn where we failed, and later this precious knowledge will be used as lesson. Also, experience is a burden and next time when we open new chapter, doubt is around us, as grey cloud on the sky.
Sometimes, we will get out as damaged toys from love relations. Love scar will be too deep and it will heal very slow. How to date with person who has broken heart, without opening old wounds?
These are things which happens in love relations, as side effects:
Cheating. Relation with infidelity is hard burden. Partner was cheating you, and your trust is broken. Next time, when your new partner will take a look on other woman, you will imagine them in bed.
 
Violence. Partner had hard fists? You fall on the scales, you hit on the door few times on month? If your new partner raise voice, you will think he will punch you.
 
Lies. Your ex partner was a liar. He lied about his job, family roots, even he maybe had double life. Your relation was an illusion, so now you are checking twice everything what new partner will do or say.
 
Death. You lose your partner because of serious illness or by accident? Fear of losing will be present in new relation.
 
Irresponsibility. Your partner did not want to work , he lost job or he even secretly stealing your money? Now your credit card will be under lock. 
During life we met various people. This is lottery, we can’t choose who will enter in our life, but we can learn how to deal next time if something is suspicious to us. As much experience learn us, also this is an obstacle. Will you turn into hopeless person because something in your life went wrong? How to open heart to new people , how to give them chance?
Inexperienced people have easier way. They are not busy by life lessons. First love is naive, clean, pure, without doubts and expectations, without tales from ex relations. Love is a race, and we start from different positions. Man without experience is outsider. He is not aware what will be in the corner. Woman with experience is careful, she wear double glasses.
Experience can’t close new door, we can’t let it to blew new opportunities. Show that you are different, through jokes, tenderness and softness. Show patience, but don’t let your distrustful partner to make you as victim. You don’t have to pay debts of ex partner. That must be bury deep into past.

7 signs that breakup is near

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Once when woman caught man of her dreams she will focus how to keep him. That is not easy task, because as much is hard to find soulmate, it is even harder to save this relation forever. Butterflies in stomach are here for 2 or 3 years, and then situation is changing. Our relation is ready for next chapter, so love will be deeper and more mature or we will lost interest. What connected us together at the start of this relation is not so important anymore. If we don’t grow together with time, simply this love will get lost. You loved this man because he was so passionate and wild in sex, but if his sexual skills are everything he could offer to you, sparks will fade and you will look into lazy guy who is unable to understand you.

There are some signs that relation will break. 


Which kind of atmosphere is intro in breakup? When we will know what is not meant to be?

Battlefield in relation. Conflicts from time to time are healthy for relation, but if you fight with your partner day by day and if your every conversation ends with ugly words, this is not sign of love. You and partner are holding a rope, and everyone drag on their side. This will be very tense and too much conflicts will lead into breakup.

Too much secrets. You live with this guy but he is mystery to you? What kind of job he works, why he never talk about his father and where he disappears from time to time? If you can’t trust to your partner, you live with stranger. Who knows, maybe he has another family somewhere. 

Too much freedom. Everyone has right on own space in relation, but person in marriage or in serious relation can’t be equal to single person. If you do what you wish without asking opinion of your second half, you are not devoted. This relation is burden to you, and your partner live is constantly fear that one day you will go to buy cigarettes and that you will not come back. Probably it will be like that.

Lack of respect. There is no love without respect. You can have great sex with person who doesn’t give you respect, but this is far from love. If your partner did not introduce you to his family or friends, if he is dating with other women behind your back, he is disrespectful.

Despair. There is no relation which will have success if you beg or force partner to stay with you. You can’t blackmail partner with children , suicide or tears. Some women will say “i will forgive infidelity because he is always coming back. ” There are some women who will even pimp another women to his man, in hope that he will never leave them if they allow such freedom in marriage. That is pathetic and worthy of condolence. 

Silence and closed mouth. Some marriages are based on secret pledge. Man is master of the house, and woman will shut up her mouth. He gives order, she is here to listen and do accord his wishes. During years, women will suffer more and more and one day she can decide to leave this community where is no freedom of speech.

Abusing. In this world is much abused women, but not every of them will complain or try to get out from this situation. This is not rare that woman will talk about how she is clumsy that she falls and hit herself at the door. Black eye and broken mouth are sign that you need to leave. You are in danger, not only your self respect, you can be in life danger too.

Love relation is house, based on safe material. If you built your love with trust, honesty, mutual respect and patience, this result will show up as crown with years. But if you deceive yourself with lies, promises and expectations without any good reason behind that, you are actor in own delusional theater. This is circus, and you are clown. At the end, when your relation is over, this is not surprise. This crowded house exploded in the air. This booby trap is activated a long time ago, just you were blind to see that.