You know the feeling when someone is getting on your nerves, but for some reason you can’t respond properly. You depend on this person and you will swallow your rage. When rage is placed deep inside you, it will find a way out.
This rage is travelling until the right target. So, poor victim is third person, someone who is on wrong place in wrong time.
Mother comes home after exhausting day at work. Her boss gave her hard time, but little daughter asks for attention, she wants her favorite candy or she lost her Barbie doll, so mother should help her to find where it is.
– Damn, leave me alone. I can’t open my eyes, i am so tired. Can’t you give me a little peace?
Little girl will be offended without special reason, just because her mother did not face it with problem eyes to eyes with their causer.
New man comes in business company, he progressed as boss. His employers are in fear, because they don’t know when he will explode. He is recently divorced, and his wife escape with another man and their two children, so he is in the middle of court battle for custodial services. All the time angry and frustrated, he doesn’t see his employers. What he notice are not indeed his employers , they are just symbols in this situation. He can be unkind and rude toward them because they are replacement for wife who is untouchable.
Shifted aggression is divided on attackers and victims.
If someone tries to hurt you without reason, ask yourself what is bothering him or her. That are internal demons and they want to swim out .
These are signs of shifted aggression:
Person yells without reason or raise his voice.
Person accuses you for something you did not do.
Person provokes you, just in intention that you will fight back.
Person doesn’t want to see what you did good. He is interested only for possible mistakes.
This magic words “calm down” or “relax” will make even more bad effects. Just wait until storm pass. Maybe to offer them cup of coffee or tea or tell them good joke?