beauty · business · career · drama · egoism · fashion · illusion · internet · relations

Judge me by my outfit

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How many jokes we heard about blondes? What is on our mind when we see Chuck Norris? That is beginning of every stereotype.

Blonde woman is so dumb that if policeman stop her car and ask her identify card, she will look in the mirror and say “Oh, we look like twins.” Indeed jokes are funny, but also offensive. If we can consider every blonde woman as stupid, soon stupidity will be recognized by the color of hair. Look at Sharon Stone, her intelligence is over 140 and she is almost genius. Ivana Trump is successful business woman and Hilary Clinton is politician.

These are only examples how people judge us by the look. Why such approach? It is superficial and not complete, but this is easier. If you have business interview and you put too much make up or you are dressed as you go to football match, you can miss a chance to get job. Unfortunately, your employers can judge you by the look.

 

If you have big breasts and style of Pamela Anderson, you will not be welcomed in business circles. Simply, people will not get you serious. Glasses will made you more intellectual, straight hair more serious and if you add black suit and tie , you are perfect for business meeting. Try to copy style of Linda Fiorentino in “The last seducing”, and you will have an authority.

In many situation people don’t want to dig under surface. Impression which you leave with your clothes will be unforgettable. This is unfair, but stereotypes are in every corner of life. You don’t need to obey, but it will be easier to understand why you are not accepted in certain circles.

Many women want to look younger . Also, this will bring you some negative points. If you are in 40, and you look like 25, really young guys can approach to you and annoy for flirt. You are boss of department and your male partners can treat you as kiddo. Try this look of Ellen Page in business meeting. People will put you in kindergarten.

As glasses don’t make intellectual person and blonde hair don’t make stupid woman, mustaches will not make man from you. But, some details can deceive people. What lawyers recommend to criminals when they come out in front of jury? Wear serious and decent clothes. Let your hair be smooth and tidy. Don’t put too much makeup, wear black or grey. Lindsay Lohan had this nerd look when she was in court.

Imagine victims of raping. Their lawyers will not recommend them high heels or short skirt in the court. Accord prejudices, they will be reserved and their clothes will be conservative.

You want to impress guy on first date?

For sure, your breasts will not jump out from the shirt, unless you  want sex for one night.

Or, your panties will not be visible when you cross legs.

Or you go without panties and wish to be taken seriously?

Some stereotypes can be useful, even you don’t feel as person you represent, it will help you to be step forward.

As in Canadian makeover show Style by jury, people will see side you represent. If you wear casual, untidy clothes, you will be rejected in some important events . If you are elegant person with good manners, door will be opened to you.

Stereotypes are chains, but you can use it to unlock secret gate. It will be fun to see some faces when you show that you are not so stupid as you look like.

addiction · destiny · drama · egoism · erotica · lies · life · lovers · relations

Did you meet emotional vampire?

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Imagine that you are sitting in your favorite chair, in warm room and you are ready to watch your favorite movie. You have popcorn, coffee or juice and you feel relaxed after hard working day, and your beloved partner is next to you. Suddenly your cell phone rings and this is beginning of nightmare.

Crying voice: “Hello, this is me. Am i disturb? You know, Leo again insulted me. He said to me that i am fat and old. He will leave me..do you think he will leave me?”

Deep sigh, because this is million times that your friend is calling you and interrupt your peace with the same story. Indeed, such people don’t need friends. They need a shrink.

They are emotional vampires. This kind of person will not drink your blood, but he or she will spend your nerves and your time. This creatures are so resistant and denial has no way in their heads.

This is monologue.
Usually it looks like this:

“Oh, you are busy? What are you doing? When you will have time for me? Oh, did not you said that you are free now? I know you hate me. Everybody hate me. It would be better that i die. Everyone will relief.”

It is not necessary that you must be close with this person. You can meet such vampires in bus stations, at work, at dentist, in shopping center. That are different places, but intentions are the same. Vampire wants that you are listening his or her problems. Vampire has no shame and no limits. If you are harsh, vampire will start to play a role of victim.

Oh, you are so rude. Your words break my heart really. You are selfish, i just wanted someone can help me. I hate you.”

 

 

Don’t feel responsible and don’t fall in this trap. If you see that  someone you know has such symptoms, don’t feel sorry. You have right on your free time and you are not vampire donor.

Every healthy relation is based on understanding and respect . There is a line. You are were not born to please other wishes anytime they want. Real friend will understand this, the same as every normal person on the street will not expose privacy to unknown people.

Yes, some people are unhappy, hungry for love and attention. But, more you ask for other compassion, people will runaway from you. Happiness and love come to those who are ready to accept this with healthy mind.

So you can continue to watch your favorite movie with your beloved partner because normal person will wait when you will be free for phone call.

couples · cyber space · destiny · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · energy · erotica · flirt · freedom · relations

Summer romance

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When you eat ice cream, you are focused on sweet taste. This enjoyment is under deadline, so it will melt if you don’t eat fast, and when meal is finished, you will not think about this anymore. The same thing is with summer romances.
Summer is special part of year, when everyone wish to be sexy, beautiful and in love. Vacations at sea are the most popular, and people will argue at work about free days. This is a chance to get tanned, to make better shape of your body and to catch some moments of passion. Later, you will remember days when you were party queen or when you break someone’s heart. Your Facebook profile and your cell phone will remind you how dangerous seductress you were , and this photos will be basic of your self esteem.
If you are woman with real expectations, you will remember summer romance as something relaxing and sweet, but you will close that memory box with first fallen leaves. Now is autumn, rain is falling, your swimsuit is on the bottom of your wardrobe and you got some kilograms. You closed this chapter.
Well, not everyone is the same, so summer romance will not die, if actors of this story want to make plans for future.
Before you wish to continue your hot love story, here are some things you must have on your mind:
Did he gave you phone number, or at least you can find him on internet pages?
 
He called you few days after you traveled home?
 
He wanted to find you, so he asked your friends about you?
 
He went to your city, by “accident”?
 
He invited you to visit him?
If you can answer with yes, your romance has potential to last more than one summer. If you don’t live in same city or even in the same country, things will be tough and only the most resistant couples will survive. Remember, this will take efforts from both sides.
Annabelle was incredible romantic girl. Movie “Notebook” made her cry and she watched this several times. When she fall in love during her summer vacation in Greece, her friends were not surprised. She crushed in handsome Greek guy Kostas. During that two weeks they were two pigeons. Friends were joking that they look as Siam twins. When vacation finished, Annabelle cried every day. Kostas sent her a lot of messages first days. As time was passing by, that messages became rarity. Annabelle called him, she wanted to communicate with him at Skype, but he had excuse that he hates social networks and that his job is very hectic because he works overtime.
One day Annabelle got message from her friend Wendy. Wendy revealed Facebook page, and guy at photos was very similar to Kostas. Annabelle confirmed, it was Kostas, but not alone, he was hugged by attractive girl. Under photo was title : “Kostas and Maria together forever. ” So she supposed that Kostas is in long relation, and that he was cheating his girlfriend with her. She felt as piece of trash. In the moment of rage, she sent him message with middle finger, but it did not help her to feel better. Kostas ignored her, as she never existed.

Ray of sun, sea waves, handsome guys at the beach, music at open air party. Sparks are everywhere, and you connect with him just like that.

He is as ice cream, sweet taste, but with deadline. You don’t have to regret because this happened. Summer romance is just one hot chapter in your life book. This connection was born in special circumstances, when you were maybe drunk, alone or hungry of passion.

Real love is flexible, it has adjustment in space and time. It will not last till the end of some party on the beach.
business · career · character · drama · dreams · ego · egoism · relations

How to recognize envious person?

 

Happiness is visible on your face. Finally, you got what you wished. New flat, new job, new boyfriend. Maybe just one of this, but enough to make your eyes shining. You can’t hide your smile. So, you wish to share your happiness with friends, because that feeling is most precious when you can notify others about it. What is reason of your smile? Now, everyone will know.

This feeling when you get lucky is like alcohol. You did not drink but still you are dizzy and mixed. In this situation, you can be little naive. Do you think everyone will be happy because of you? Happiness is background for envy. There is saying “green from envy. ” This feeling is now in opposition, your happiness faced with envy of somebody else. Why you and why not he?

When Zoey got new job after one year of waiting, it was reason for celebration. After first salary she invited her best friend Monica in coffee bar. She expected that Monica will be happy, because they knew each other very long and Monica often paid drinks to Zoey, that she felt unpleasant. Now, finally Zoey can pay bill .

Zoey said to Monica that her new job is in another city, that she is travelling and come home in early evening but it is not important because she waited this opportunity very long time.

You will not handle this my dear. You will be tired and what is with your private life? What will be when you will have children?

This reaction was totally unexpected because Zoey thought that Monica will be happy for her. After all, she could not choose and she needed money, not other’s mercy or judgement. 

Next time Zoey and Monica discussed about other topic.

Dear, i was in Italy with my fiance. We had great time in fun park Gardaland. It was really adventure.

– Aren’t you old for this? Don’t you afraid of some kind of accident? I read about deaths in roller coaster. I would not go there on your place.

Monica was in the role of Grinch. As Grinch stole Christmas to children, Monica was stealing joy to her best friend. She was envious and Zoey did not feel good in her company. She could not be happy for her. An opposite, she wanted to spoil her happiness with judgement, preaching and teaching. Monica was single and her frustrations were visible on every corner. She was even more angry when Zoey find job. When Zoey was unemployed, Monica had power. Now she lost this power and she was furious.

How to recognize signs of other’s envy?

Envious person try to make your success less worthy. Oh yes you have expensive car, but it will spend much money on gasoline. Yes you got promotion, but you will work even more than now.

Envious person will provoke you. So, you are dating with Jeannie? I have heard she is easy girl.

If you are smiling and celebrating, they will say that you need to be more silent. Oh, dear not so big deal that you got this job. Everyone is employed, you don’t need to make party from this.

Envious person will warn on negative sides of your success. Well, now you are familiar person, and you will not have your privacy anymore. Stalkers and pests will be your followers. Do you know that handsome guy is playboy? Good luck with such boyfriend.

So, when we suppose that others will be happy because of us, results are not always in harmony with our expectations. On other hand, we will recognize true friends in this situations. Real friend will give you hand and shake it firmly. Friend will drink with you whole night if you wish. Also, real friend will find inspiration in your success.

Once my friend said to me : “You did it and congratulation. You gave me hope that i can do it too.”

relations · business · dreams · career · ego · character · discrimination · drama

Did you use too much tact?

 

Person who is afraid of other reactions and opinions is not free. There is saying “he walks on eggs”, as metaphor for his behavior. Be careful what you say. What will people think about you? Don’t yell, don’t laugh loud, don’t cry in publicity. Pay attention how you act because people can judge you.

It is normal that we are connected with environment where we live, and society made some rules. No, you can’t walk naked on the street unless you don’t want to be in prison or in mental hospital. You can’t hit people with bottles because you don’t like them. That is violent act.

Insecure person will always take care of other opinions. Wear gloves in interactions with others because that is safe. Well, it is not right and also it is impossible to please everybody.

For example, your parents are traditional people . They believe in God. What if you find girlfriend who is an atheist? How you can represent her to your family? If you are coward or conformist you will think first about yourself. Well, it doesn’t fit in so you will leave her or suggest that she can be your mistress. So this is easier way, you will hide your passion and everybody are happy. Wolf is not hungry, sheep is still alive, both sides made agreement.

If you have character and your principles, you will say clear that you love your girlfriend and that you think serious about life with her, no matter if your parents are against. You can be isolated and in some cases maybe your parents will not talk with you, but you decided to defend your choice.

Even compromise in such situation looks like an ideal solution, this is not right. If you hide your girlfriend from publicity, she will be unhappy, she will be humiliated and soon her bad mood will forward on you. You can’t hide someone as rat in rat hole. That girl can feel as Ana Karenjina , as woman without honor.

In generally, we can’t say that we don’t care for anybody and that only our opinion is important.

We care for people who are close to us and their support is valuable for us. Just, think about bad influence on your life if you choose to please everybody. You will have thousand friends and everybody will ask favor from you because you will not deny. Then also you must have chameleon abilities, to change accord other wishes. One day you will be tough guy, other day you are romantic and soft, depends what people are asking from you.

That gloves you wear became too tight, isn’t it? You are choking because you have no space for your needs.

What you wish? What are your priorities? 

Listen what other people talk, but do accord your wishes and principles. Find this balance in situations which are important for you, because you are the one who will live with consequences of your acts.

behavior · character · control · crime · cyber space · egoism · envy · erotica · relations

Don’t steal what is not yours

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Modesty is one of values. It is connected with respect of others, that we should not touch something what is not ours. Don’t steal, don’t desire other’s partners, don’t be greedy. You are satisfied with your life, your car and even if you are not, don’t blame others.

Some people will say – never enough. They will run over corpses, they will push you during their race, all until the day when they will regret it. It is alright to be ambitious and to desire more. Now, here is the question, how to make harmony between modesty and your wishes to get more?

Let’s take a look about story of Sybil. She is married woman, with one pretty daughter and devoted husband. She has 42 years. She got bored in marriage so she made profile at Facebook and find virtual lover. They made fake profile together and everybody in virtual life know about them as couples. After some time she got bored with this virtual sweetness, cyber sex and attention so she started to look at other social networks for new young guys to please her wishes. She doesn’t care if that guy has a girl, if she could hurt feelings of some girl with posting her erotic photos on their pages. One day someone hacked her page, and she became hurt, after long time. She thought that nobody can stop her. But someone did, and even worse, she was reported for posting pornography and admins of social networks deleted her page. It was not the end, her daughter find erotic video from her mum with masturbating and she had conversation with shrink. All family went into crises. They could not understand what kind of monster Sybil was. She had everything, but she wanted jealousy of other people, fight, envy, publicity. She paid for this.

When you enter into other’s space, this is like in football. You try to get your score, but someone can throw you and hit you very hard. Life is rough game. If you think that you can humiliate others, don’t expect that you will not get paycheck. Don’t justify your acts with ambitious wishes.

World is big place.

Is it necessary to ruin other’s happiness because you want more?

You don’t have to steal other job or position at work to be happy. 

You don’t have to seduce other’s husbands to please your wishes. 

If you grab into other’s property, you can stay without hand and lose everything. 

How would you feel that someone kiss your husband or to gossip you in front of your boss, just to sit on your chair at work?

I don’t want what is not mine, but also i protect what is mine. Once when someone starts unfair game, there are no rules. All is allowed in the name of justice, and that kind of intruders will get what they deserve.

anxiety · character · crises · happiness · illusion · lesson · lies · relations

Reality check and illusions

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People use to say: “You live in illusion. ” “You need reality check. “

What is indeed illusion?

Absence of real beliefs.

Flying on cloud instead of walking on the ground.

Too big expectations.

Impossible aims.

Reality check is cold shower, something what people need when they fly too high. There must be a difference between vision and dream. Vision is based on real expectation, but dream is based on imagination.

I wish to get marry for Brad Pitt. This is dellusional example.

I wish to buy new dress, which is too expensive for me but not impossible to buy.

Sometimes, people with manipulation skills will hold dellusional people in traps , because on this way they can feed their ego.

Woman X lives in USA. She promised man from Turkey that she will come to visit him. She delayed her arrival first for 6 months, then for a year. Then she said she will come in summer and later in winter. He is still waiting for her but she hesitates and wants to get on time. He is afraid to travel to see her so both are in ungrateful position. Their illusion is more beautiful than reality so they stick on safe ground of their dream because reality is insecure.

Did you stuck in kind of illusion?

How you deal with this?

These are consequences of life in illusion :

Awakening in tears.

Cuts of some connections which were based on dreams.

Loss of trust and confidence.

Loss of hope.

Black white insight on life.

Why people hold on their imaginary hopes, even deep inside they know it will not work out?

Well, i remember movie “The escape from Alcatraz. ” Man was painter, and he knew he will not get out from prison but he will make his life easier by drawing. When headmaster of jail took him his tools and material, he made suicide.

If you want to kill person inside, kill his dream. Kill hope that something is worth living or that some day will be better.

Reality check is not for all people, some are born to live in dreams because they don’t know how to walk on the ground. Mama’s boy will rather live with his mother than to ask woman to marry. Unemployed guy will rather sleep at home than ask for a job. Woman who is unhappy in love will rather hold on her problematic marriage or relation.

Illusions feed us, the same way as they made us damage. Who wish to get out from that poisoned circle must be aware that this is not healthy life.

I was in illusion that one friendship will last forever. Guy said me : “Life can separate you and your friend. ” He was in right, once when she gone in another city she never asked for me.

After you break illusion, there is something brighter. Empty space for someone special, for something special, but this time you wear safe glasses and you know where you will go .

character · crises · depression · egoism · elders · energy · envy · family · relations

How strong is connection with your family?

 

I suppose that everyone of you got sweet promise about something what will last for lifetime. Eternal friendship, sisterhood or love, words said in the moment of enchanting feelings, secret pledge about forever. We all feel that when someone makes our life so beautiful. You made love with this woman and you will say that she will be yours forever. Your friend impressed you by his loyalty and you feel as you owe him. If you have rational mind, you will put reserve into your words. Instead of “I will love you forever”, rational words should be ” I will try to make you happy, as long as i could.”

Our paths are different. One mother gave birth to daughters, two sisters. She could not gave them guarantee that life will make them happy. Sometimes, one girl will have easier path than other girl. This is a test, how much this circumstances will have influence on their future connection.

Sarah and Tilda were grown up together. They borrowed each other clothes, they went to night club as teenagers, and they were even sleeping in the same bed as kids. It was four year differences between them. One event changed them both and labelled their relation. Sarah got married in 23. She met this guy, got pregnant and he propose her. It was love on first sight, and marriage was suddenly, as thunder. During that marriage Sarah got more children, one more boy and girl. Tilda stayed unmarried, until 41, she share flat with her boyfriend, who did not propose her yet. Nothing strange on first sight, but Sarah lost her feeling for sister. Her family became center of everything. Her husband and three kids occupied all free time, and Sarah was cold even toward her parents. During years, parents and Tilda were in the role of bank. When Sarah needed money, she called them for financial help. They felt unpleasant because Sarah was often moody, and she did not offer them drink or food when they visited her. They complaint, but Sarah did not understand what is wrong. Her reply was : “I did not sleep, i have a family, they made me crazy. I can’t breath from them.”

As we grow up, our priorities are changing. We will have less time for our parents, and our focus will be on people who share life with us. You can’t have dirty dishes because your mother wants to drink coffee with you, so you will clean your flat before you accept her invitation. You can’t leave your son who got flu, because your mother wants to go in theater with you.

Just, think about, should you erase your past bonds because you are now mother and wife?

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes nasty. When Greta got divorced, she needed help of her mother. She was financially broken and without flat. She was almost on the street, because her husband kick her out. She did not visit her mother 5 years, but when that day came, she had no choice. Her mother accepted her, because it is her daughter. Greta felt so embarrassed. This was enough for her mother, she wanted that her daughter feel guilt.

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What can happen with our past, with life we lived before?

Our parents could be ill.

They can stay without money or in big debts.

You might need your parents or relatives, because you can get into trouble, as divorce.

When we do some changes, it is like we build house. We can’t crush the basic because we bought new furniture. Where will this furniture fit in, if there is no room?

Our parents could be great reminders for life problems. They passed all before, they can give good tips if you ask them. Your mother knows very well how to cook good lunch or how to deal with man in middle crises. Also, just because your sister is unmarried, it doesn’t mean that she has no idea about life. She can be good helper for your children, not just in a role of bank. What if she suddenly earn big money, do you think she will remember you, if you treat her as stranger? Maybe you will need job, and she will not help you because you did not invite her into your new life.

Blood connection is connection from birth. We should all respect our parents, sisters or relatives. When you see photo of family gathering, this is image of respect, devotion and love. One day you will be old too, and your children might forget you, if you don’t teach them how to cherish blood connection for a lifetime.

behavior · business · career · drama · mindful · moral · relations

How our problems spread claws?

 

Every misery ask for company. Trouble never comes alone. In the time of recession many people are unemployed or with small salaries. That problems spread deeper into society. As octopus, their shanks are on many places.

Poor man will became beggar or criminal. Beggars will be social problems, and criminals will fill courts and jails. Streets will be battlefield for social mess and someone can get hurt during demonstrations. Unemployed people have no money to shop. Shopping malls will be closed or empty and country will have debts. That debts will be on international level and country will fall into debt slavery.

Domino effect has terrible consequences. Problems are part of big chain, everything is crushing down. If you want to solve this situation, go on election and choose another government. Ask yourself if your voice can help.

The same thing is in private area. So many times we can hear “all troubles stick on my back.” I have spell because everything is going wrong.

When you get divorce this is not an end. It opens door to another problems. Financial side, lost trust to other possible partners and if you have children they lose mother or father. So in this way we observe problems as an album with black and grey photos. Small problem can grow into big problem. You get drown deeper and deeper.

This happens when you don’t discover causer from the start. What made your situation so bad? Let’s go back at the beginning. Now, when everything is crushing down, you can see that it didn’t come over night. Or maybe you did not want to see, you intentionally closed your eyes?

Sabina complained that her husband left her. She was in marriage 10 years. Then she dig into her memory, how she forgive to him all affairs and how he treated her. He did not show her love as she expected. She wanted to keep him so her eyes are closed. That was pink delusional view, not real picture of this situation. So why she was surprised when he declared end of their marriage?

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How to handle with our problems on rational way?

When we dig hole for our problems, we forget about solution. 
Well, no big deal, i will not pay my bills immediately, but for sure i will pay. Now my bills are bigger, i did not pay last three months, how so?

It is better to prevent, than to heal.

It can be too late, damage is already done. Then we can accuse others why that happened. It is better to kill the wasp than to deal with cluster. Let’s cope with that problems until they are small, because later you will be too weak to solve this alone.

Once when problem is here, don’t make it bigger.

Don’t fall in despair and don’t make disaster by making desperate moves.

 

Ask solution with sober mind.

Don’t try to solve anything while you are crying, drinking, or you are in the phase of rage.

Remember past solutions.

Sometimes, old problems which are solved could be great inspirational source for solving new.

business · career · character · communication · crises · depression · destiny · relations

How we do the same mistakes again and again?

 

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Mistakes are part of life. When someone says that everything is going smooth all his life, that person lies, because reality is not video game. We never know what can go wrong and how many levels we need to skip for our score.

If you constantly learn on your mistakes, this price is very expensive. Sometimes is necessary to learn from others. Mistakes are problems with hidden chances and family roots. In your family is maybe person who failed in one situation, and now you are passing the same problem. Will you do the same or you wish to read previous book about this?

Louise had all chances for success. Pretty girl and talented teacher had many proposals for marriage, Problem was in her wild side, she was very stubborn and she left her home early, when she was 23. She found man and got marry for him, even he was only 19, not ready for marriage. She got pregnant so they lived in marriage for a year. He left her with excuse that he can’t be father , he was too young. After this Louise found another man, who was without job. They married and stayed together whole her life. He was not good husband. Lazy, aggressive, he dared to slap her even she was the one who earned money. Louise gave birth to 3 sons, all were lazy as their father. When school mate met Louise, she started to cry and talk about her failed life.

20 years later her niece Catherine was student . Also pretty and talented girl, she was studying law. Catherine had this family inheritance, stubborn character and wild nature. Her boyfriends were all the same, hooligans and bad ass guys. But, Catherine did not follow example of his aunt Louise. Her mother always talked her about Louise and her destiny. She used to say : “Don’t finish as Louise. You will work whole your life for some scumbag and even worse, if you will have kids, they will have the same gene. At the end, Catherine had fun with all that guys, but when it comes time to get marry, she listened mother’s advice. She got marry for man with aspirations, who was successful businessman.

If you learn on other’s mistakes, results are next:

You know the story and you can get different point.

You know where was the problem.

You are winner in this dead race.

You are spared of troubles.

When someone warned you about bad situation, this is battle with instructions. You know the enemy, you got weapons, now only your skills will decide about the result. If you can’t play good with good cards, you are loser. It is not necessary that you repeat mistake which was already done. You think that is not the same, so you will go at bottom together with your forerunner? That is suicide. You remind on man who jumps from the highest building, and hope that he will not hit  with his head on the concrete structure.

If you think that life always go with instructions, you are wrong. 

Sometimes, your fake friends will try to win over your back. Did you ever had friend who asked you to help her with choice of job, friends or even partner? “Tell me which friend is good. Which guy is good for me, can you tell me? What kind of job is good for me, can you help me?” Some people ask for nanny, to teach them how to avoid thorns and pick up roses. You are stupid if you go with bloody hands just to make safe ground for other person.

Mistakes in love are so painful. 

If we could only know how will our story end, we would spare ourselves of troubles. Well, sometimes, some signs will tell you that someone before you passed something similar. That scenario already happened. Now you can use that script for your sake. Be wise and learn. These kind of deja vu mistakes happened to someone who can’t fix it. You can do it if you can read between lines.