Today friends, tomorrow enemies

 

Yesterday we were close friends, today we are enemies. Shit happens, and life is creator of dramas and tragedies because human nature is variable. Some people will turn you back, no matter if they were friends, lovers, even members of your family. Some of us simply can’t stay firm and stable in their choices and decisions and life will push them on other side, side against us.

Amelia and Clara were good friends in childhood. Amelia was sensitive, and Clara was sharp, and she often underestimated Amelia , she loved to play mother role with her. Amelia loved Clara, she saw leader in her, and she was her follower. With years, Amelia start to feel that something is not alright and that Clara is more rival than friend, so she talked with her about her behavior. Clara thought that Amelia can’t understand her jokes and nothing changed. Later Amelia found new friends and openly said to Clara that she doesn’t enjoy in her company anymore. This was not the end. Amelia left with decent words, she wrote letter to Clara. Few weeks later Amelia received phone call. It was male voice, and he said : “Listen bitch. Do you think you can hurt people without paycheck? I will follow you and i will smack your hypocrite face. ” It was disturbing and Amelia cried from shock, so she even invited her cousin to go with her out. She did not see nobody around her, and for few days she realized that was a threat. Clara hired her male friend to call Amelia on the phone, she could not stand that little mouse Amelia broke their friendship. It was her way to revenge.

Real faces of so called friends will show up in the time of crises and conflicts. If someone can’t accept the fact that you cut of him from your life, you can expect anything. Revenge, gossips or anger, that are reactions of people who can’t stand denials or defeat.

When someone is leaving from your life, don’t hold the door locked. Don’t follow this person if you ever respected and loved him. Sometimes we can’t save relation, no matter is this friendship or love. But, we can save our pride and memories. Do you wish that your friend remember you as an asshole? I had experiences with people who did not want to be part of my life anymore. I let them go where they feel better. There is no sense that i beg someone for loyalty, respect and attention.

C4-529aXAAAQRFZ

People will leave from various reasons:
Sometimes they are jealous or envious, they can’t follow your step. 


Sometimes they will not understand that you are so busy and that you can’t focus on them.


Also, priorities are changing, and they will find another friends and interests. 


Some people are not born as stable. 

 

They can’t be on one place, with one person, and they can’t hold basic relations. They are in pass, as passengers in your journey. Take the best of them and let them go.

When someone can’t follow you anymore in your journey, set him free. Nothing is worse than person who is still in your life, but because of wrong reason as condolence and fear.

Advertisements

A man who uses every opportunity

 

If you are one of those women who think that your man will change, you are wrong. Even if it is, you are not the one who will change him. He will be changed by own decision or circumstances in life, or he will stay the same, but with another skin.

When man has ability as chameleon, he is step forward. He can be ready for all surprises and he will be able to rule with all situations.

Amanda was rich daughter and her parents were masters in small city. She was cocky, glamorous and somehow cruel, so many men were afraid to approach her. Hugh was poor guy without parents, he was earning for life by fixing cars and motorbikes, and he lived in rented flat. They met in gym and Amanda captured his eyes at first moment, when she was exercising at Treadmill, by guidance on her coach. Hugh involved in their conversation and give her few advices, how to keep form. Amanda was interested for this rude guy, because he did not care for nice manners and he was not impressed by her at all. At least, he didn’t show this immediately. She was the one who asked him to drink coffee together. The rest was history, Hugh became member of rich family in period of one year.

Her father did not accept Hugh so easily, so he got task to open his private business, with his help and investment. Hugh was under magnifier of whole family, so he learnt few foreign languages just to please them, he learnt to eat on fancy way and to dance and play golf. Amanda could say that she changed him , but it was not true. When she was not near him, Hugh was again in his favorite pub with drinking buddies, and easy waitress.

CpHma3GVYAAGQDX

Women are used to say : 

“I learnt him how to act decent. His mother did not do good job in childhood.”

“I changed him, he is not looking at other women anymore.”

“I forced him to leave his idiot friends. They had bad influence on him. “

“He is now under my control.”

All this are misleads. Men will do what they like, you only think that you are creator of their new life. They stopped with old ways because they got tired and it became useless for them. Maybe they hide their old habits and they come back in old life from time to time. This is something you can’t know.

What is indeed romantic?

 

C-JJ3VYXcAAYFEo

Stereotypes develop from childhood. Differences between genders grow through traditional values , modify with time, but skeletons stay unchanged , no matter about fashion and progress. Let me remind you, if you gave birth to boy, what will you buy him as toy? Little car, ball or plastic gun? If you gave birth to girl, what will you buy to her? Doll, pink dress or flowers? As we made labels for seats, we also labelled women and men, to see why is something suitable, and why other things are not appropriate.

Ask random man what he would buy to woman. He will say : roses , if i like her. Red roses for love, white roses for appreciation, yellow roses for honor and friendship, and orange roses as sign of passion. Well, did you ask her, do you like flowers, anyway?

Some women will melt on first sight, when they get flowers. “Oh, how nice. He is real gentleman. ” Others will say : “What i will do with this roses, when they fade? I have no nerves to change water every day, besides, i have allergy. ” Despite of all , some men will treat women on equal way, and they will think that roses are universal recipe to capture woman’s heart.

Do you want drag woman to bed? Give her roses.

Do you want to make an apology because you hurt her? Give her roses.

You want to borrow money from her? Give her roses.

You want to say goodbye to her? Give her roses.

Poor flowers suffer from so much purposes, and the most funny part is when flower is artificial or not fresh. Faded roses at desk are dead nature, as artificial rose petals. Well, that is flower, who made difference, even it doesn’t smell nice?

Now, i bet everyone of you met granny with roses. If you visit coffee bars or night clubs, you have seen this creature. Old woman who wish to sell bunch of roses, because that is tradition, that is appropriate. Which kind of woman doesn’t want roses, she must be masculine or at least not well mannered.

When granny with roses approach to you and your partner, she is ready to manipulate. Now, see next scenario in your minds.

Your partner :  “Damn, i should buy her rose.  She will think that i am idiot without feelings. “

You : “If i don’t accept, he will think that i am not a lady. “

So, granny with roses wait to get her money. For sure, she plays on feeling of guilt. She spread poisoned arrows in both ways, to make couple guilty by default. Man buy rose, and woman smile and said : “oh, thank you dear. ” Granny puts money in the pocket.

I am not afraid to say that granny is promoter of bullshit. I saw many times old lady who was disturbing and annoying by her attempts to sell roses. Maybe you wish to whisper on your partner’s ear or kiss him, and she came between you to offer you rose , without respect to your privacy. Also, buying flowers should be spontaneous act. On this way, your partner is trapped. Maybe he spent last money on drinks, and now he must buy rose?

What granny with roses offer is far away from love and respect. She is selling product. She is kind of beggar, just not without money. Also, she is challenger, to check are you and partner on the same line. If you both agree, accept this flower. Well, if you not, send her to hell.

Women are caught in the network of rivalry. I got roses, you did not get. I am pretty, you are ugly. This funny circle is made of vanity, not from love. Roses which granny offered are faded, a long time ago. It just looks like sign of attention, this is indeed moral blackmail.

If it is not on Internet, it never happened

img_4937
If it is not on Internet, this event never happened. If you travel somewhere, celebrate anniversary with husband, celebrate birthday, put your photos that whole world see this. Otherwise, your life does not exist.
I remember when i opened my sister’s diary and found something fishy, and later she got angry at me. Nowadays, when you open someone’s Facebook and find something fishy, person will get angry cause you did not press like or make comment.
I noticed that people forgot difference between secret and private.
Oh, you are married? I did not know that. It has been two years since i got married and some people at my workplace still questioning how i changed my surname. No, i did not share photos at my official e-mail, i did not bring cakes from wedding, i don’t talk about mother in law when i wait lunch at business restaurant. Simply, i think, this is my business. It is not their business, and at least it is not Internet business.
How many times i saw private talk on public statuses, husband and wife who are arguing in front of their thousand friends, photos of their children and kitchen? Once woman from Venezuela wanted to share photos of her family in tag, in my page. I said her, i have my life, and this is my website, with all respect, keep photos of your family for your close friends. I don’t want to see it. I am not jealous, envious or rude, i just have my boundaries, and i don’t need photos of your son who is playing in the mud with other children.
The best marriages and relations were made in silence. It is not kind of silence where you hide your partner. It is kind of silence where you don’t talk about your conflicts in public, where you don’t notify your friends about your private details and when you have this happy smile on your face because you put your privacy under lock.
Once i read about tennis couple , Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf, who were always private couple. They were not jumping out with every photo of their kids, with every kiss and hug. Or to made porno video, as Kim Kardashian, to earn money from this.
The meaning of love is sacred. If i had conflict with my husband, this is between me and him. We will sit and talk, we will cry or scream, we will make peace. I never wanted to hear public advices as “He is not worthy of you, find better ” or “This is not good for you, i feel this. “
People are not always trustful. Many of them will celebrate your fall or they will not care. People love drama, but not because they wish to participate, they wish to have fun and gossip. If you give them gossip material, they will laugh to you under your back.
One Friday evening my neighbors had terrible fight. Woman was crying, her husband was yelling and they smashed something, i don’t know, i heard noise. When i saw that man few days later, i just said hello. I did not ask him about noise, crying or drama. It is his personal thing. As my husband said: “If he falls on our balcony,  we will call police.”
Technology progress did not give us much private space. We see other’s underwear, dirty socks, untidy rooms, unhealthy food. We see fat women who wish to be x plus models cause this is popular. We see even scenes from other’s funerals.
I always support curtains over private life. What is between two people is not show for audience. People are not paying my bills neither sleeping with me, so that is my right.

Do you tolerate different opinions?

When you have choice, you can pick what you wish because your hands are free and you are not influenced by others. You choose accord your principles and beliefs. That is very easy, because you know what is the best for you. What happens when you need to accept other choices, even you don’t like them? This question is measure of your tolerance.

Every time when we meet new person, we are introduced with her personality. That person comes with package. That means, you will not accept in your life only beautiful girl with sweet smile. You will accept her beliefs together with her. You may not like her parents, relatives or friends. Also, you will be terrified with her political beliefs. You could be an atheist, and she is religious. You have different musical taste and enjoy in pop music, and she wants to go in opera to listen Chopin or Verdi. Differences will cause conflicts, and reactions will be various.

How to represent your choices in publicity?

Don’t push your beliefs forward others, don’t try to persuade them that you are right.

Never humiliate or underestimate your friend or partner, because they think different.

Don’t create conspiracy against others because they don’t support your beliefs.

Don’t use insults and don’t play dirty. Low kicks are just proof how far you can go in manifestation of your ego.

When kids are fighting, they will cry, yell or insult each other without limits, because they are kids. First level of maturity begins with acceptance of other choices. It doesn’t mean that you must follow majority and join to the crowd, as sheep in herd. That means diplomatic skills.

What happens when you fight against wall and you wish to promote your beliefs as general rules?

You will lose affection of your friends.

You may got nickname as dictator.

People will consider you as closed minded person, primitive or egomaniac.

Sarah was leader of international department in one firm. She could not stand that her employees are getting late, so she was punishing them for every minute when they did not come at time. She did not accept any apology from them, even if some women had children and they had obligation to go in kindergarten before work. Soon they made jokes from this and ordered Swiss watch for her birthday. Sarah was furious and next step was threat in email. She said that her employees must answer on every phone call otherwise they will get smaller salary. People asked her what will happen with that missed calls during their pause for smoking and toilet. Sarah lost her power for few months because she could not handle pressure. She could not accept that other people also have right on their opinion and their choices, even they were under her position at work.

If ego stands on your way, you may lose some interesting friendships, opportunities for love and chances for good job. Your best friend is liberal? Your nephew is gay? Can you accept this with tolerance?

If you can’t accept it now, you may meet with this in future. You are conservative, but your son and daughter could be liberal. Imagine Cher, her daughter changed gender. It was not easy, but as mother she accepted her decision.

Your choices could change with time. Maybe you were rebellious in youth, and now you follow different rules. That will help you to accept other preferences, because you know advantages and failures of both sides. One thing is sure, if you accept person only because she thinks the same as you, in first conflict your friendship will break on pieces.

Our choices define us and our relations with others. If you think that only you have right all the time, discussion has no sense.

At the end, your choice is your echo. What you choose it will come to you as reflection in the mirror. Don’t act as policeman with warrant :”You have right to be silent, and if you say something, we can use it against you.”

Are you ready to be honest?

DGtOczTW0AEJnX1

 

Honesty is value which everyone wants, but not everyone is able to handle. This is kind of mirror with two sides, and once when mirror is looking at you view is different. I was often judged because i speak on honest way, i don’t know how to pretend. Even if i tried too, my facial expressions would show opposite.

So recently my colleague complaint that i never ask how is she, i never knock at her office door. She said: “I could die and you would not know. ” I replied: “Well i am sure someone would notify me about this. “She said to me: “I like your way, you always know what to say. “

She accepted my honesty even it was not sugarcoated. This is not always the case, so try to be honest with some people, they will say you are bad mannered, rude, cruel and so on.

Just, what kind of offers we get from people who constantly praise us?

C3-MKgJXUAABQD2

We never know where we are standing with them

We can hear the same compliments for our rivals.

We can notice that compliments are based on pattern “good, sweet, very well. “

I could say to that lady that i love her much, that i feel sorry cause i did not check up on her, that i am bad colleague. Instead of this i said that was on my mind, because workplace is not place for personal therapy and i am not obligated to knock at her door.

Many relations would end up before if couples would be honest. Many friendship would be tempted if friends were honest. If guys were honest, many women would not accept one night stand.

So, we are indeed hypocrites. We talk about honesty but we enjoy in lies. We allow critics but expect compliments. We ask for truth but we are hungry for sweet words.

Where you will find honesty?

In situations when person has no other choice. She know someone other will tell you, so she must tell truth.

From your enemies and rivals. They will not lie about what they feel.

From someone you know very long time. My partner will not lie to me, so if i look bad in some clothes, he will tell me.

To accept his precious appearance of honesty, at least you must be brave person with strong attitude. You need to handle defeat, critics, dirty mouth. You don’t have to feel bad because someone dislike you. You should feel bad if you can’t handle that someone closes you door.

 

Make choice, regret is expensive

 

4ba4d-2014-110

I don’t have luck. Me and my bad luck. We will say this often when nothing good happens in our life. Then, happiness will leave track. You hear someone is knocking on the door? If you don’t open, person will leave and maybe return next time. Or never. The same is with opportunities. They are here, and if you don’t use this moment, all what is left is regret.

Ivan had good chance to work in Switzerland. He was engineer and he got offer to work on project , for good salary. He was thinking because this opportunity has a price. He should move from Croatia, together with this family, and to live in Luzern. He should left his friends, parents who were old and sick and simply to start for a new life.  After many doubts he gave up. How he will leave his city, friends from childhood and how his parents will live without his visits? He had children and they used on school, how would they fit in Luzern? He stayed at his job, for average salary. After ten years, when his factory fall in debts and director announced bankruptcy, he remembered his business chance.

Similar situation made Eva to regret. She was between two men. One was handsome, with temporary job, and other was rich, less handsome but stable and with good character. She chose first. Her life with Victor was hell. He spent her money and runaway with waitress. Eva spent whole night with postcard from Filip. Meanwhile he got marry and Eva remembered her missed chance. She wanted adventure and life with Filip would be boring, accord their view. Or maybe not? She choose Victor and it was big fail.

Every choice leave consequences.

What occupation you will choose? How about your job, life partner?

Will you quit present job and ask for new?

Will you marry for that man?

You are pregnant and you don’t want to keep your baby?

Our choice will leave mark in our soul. How could it be and what would happen if you choose different? Sound of regret is very sad. Maybe you did not have guts to risk more. Maybe your sacrifice would be too big and painful.

Regret is bad follower. If you did not choose right, try to be happy with things and persons you have. You did not recognize what is good for you, so now make your choice better and live with this.