Some positive thoughts for my followers

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I wish to all my followers happy Friday.

Here I share some of my positive, inspirational thoughts which helps me in hard moments:

If you wish to survive, you will not afraid of challenge.

The biggest risk is to do nothing.

Don’t call past, there is nothing new to hear.

People who criticize you are kind of injections. Take this needle as motivation for your progress.

Don’t underestimate yourself, that is not your job. Others will try to sabotage you anyway.

Haters are just your followers from other side of mirror.

Never lose your sense for humor. Jokes might help you to survive the day.

 

For the end, this is me. My virtual friend spelled my name wrong, I am Kristina. He made this photo as sign of friendship, but he forgot to  spell it right.

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7 signs that breakup is near

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Once when woman caught man of her dreams she will focus how to keep him. That is not easy task, because as much is hard to find soulmate, it is even harder to save this relation forever. Butterflies in stomach are here for 2 or 3 years, and then situation is changing. Our relation is ready for next chapter, so love will be deeper and more mature or we will lost interest. What connected us together at the start of this relation is not so important anymore. If we don’t grow together with time, simply this love will get lost. You loved this man because he was so passionate and wild in sex, but if his sexual skills are everything he could offer to you, sparks will fade and you will look into lazy guy who is unable to understand you.

There are some signs that relation will break. 


Which kind of atmosphere is intro in breakup? When we will know what is not meant to be?

Battlefield in relation. Conflicts from time to time are healthy for relation, but if you fight with your partner day by day and if your every conversation ends with ugly words, this is not sign of love. You and partner are holding a rope, and everyone drag on their side. This will be very tense and too much conflicts will lead into breakup.

Too much secrets. You live with this guy but he is mystery to you? What kind of job he works, why he never talk about his father and where he disappears from time to time? If you can’t trust to your partner, you live with stranger. Who knows, maybe he has another family somewhere. 

Too much freedom. Everyone has right on own space in relation, but person in marriage or in serious relation can’t be equal to single person. If you do what you wish without asking opinion of your second half, you are not devoted. This relation is burden to you, and your partner live is constantly fear that one day you will go to buy cigarettes and that you will not come back. Probably it will be like that.

Lack of respect. There is no love without respect. You can have great sex with person who doesn’t give you respect, but this is far from love. If your partner did not introduce you to his family or friends, if he is dating with other women behind your back, he is disrespectful.

Despair. There is no relation which will have success if you beg or force partner to stay with you. You can’t blackmail partner with children , suicide or tears. Some women will say “i will forgive infidelity because he is always coming back. ” There are some women who will even pimp another women to his man, in hope that he will never leave them if they allow such freedom in marriage. That is pathetic and worthy of condolence. 

Silence and closed mouth. Some marriages are based on secret pledge. Man is master of the house, and woman will shut up her mouth. He gives order, she is here to listen and do accord his wishes. During years, women will suffer more and more and one day she can decide to leave this community where is no freedom of speech.

Abusing. In this world is much abused women, but not every of them will complain or try to get out from this situation. This is not rare that woman will talk about how she is clumsy that she falls and hit herself at the door. Black eye and broken mouth are sign that you need to leave. You are in danger, not only your self respect, you can be in life danger too.

Love relation is house, based on safe material. If you built your love with trust, honesty, mutual respect and patience, this result will show up as crown with years. But if you deceive yourself with lies, promises and expectations without any good reason behind that, you are actor in own delusional theater. This is circus, and you are clown. At the end, when your relation is over, this is not surprise. This crowded house exploded in the air. This booby trap is activated a long time ago, just you were blind to see that.

Makeup sex

15095077_1358561900823096_3544870188036048831_nThey were arguing whole day, and they could not make agreement. She was stubborn, and he was macho type, who believed that man should be boss. Suddenly he kissed her, she fall in his arms  and they made love whole night. In the morning they start to argue again, about the same things.
So called makeup sex is one of ways how to solve problems with your partner. When two different characters fall in love, their relation will often look as battlefield. Especially if that differences are expressed in important areas of life, couple will make many efforts to create harmony. Here is the question, what will win in the end, their love or ego?
Sean and Paula met each other in the shopping mall. They were in crowd and Sean had problem with credit card, so he caused big line at the pay desk. Everyone was furious, and Paula send him to hell. He invited her in coffee bar as sign of an apology and their relation started at this way. Soon they realized that they are as dog and cat. Paula was liberal woman, and Sean was traditional and conservative. He complaint even about her clothes, that she should change her style, because her skirts were too short and accord him, she was seducing men on such way. Also he never wanted to admit his mistakes, and many times Paula apologized to him, even he was wrong one.
Paula had weak spot, she adored sex with Sean. When they made love, all differences were vanished, their bodies made understanding so clear. It was not important who is right, and who is wrong. Paul erased all conflicts with his kisses and Paula was blind on his failures. One day, Paula found track of lipstick on his shirt and it woke up her doubts. When he was showering, she checked his cell phone. There were bunch of romantic messages. She was quiet, but next time when Paul started to complain about something, she was cold toward him. She even rejected sex. Then she got the point how makeup sex was temporary solution, because problems were still here. She caught moment to sit and talk with Paul, and he accepted. They made progress by talking and in the moment their relation is on transit zone, because Paul realized that he did something bad.
You can see in romantic movies how man will rip clothes and push his beloved woman on the bed, as in “9 and half week” or “Basic instinct”. Later, that passion will not solve problems, they will still be in stand by position.
Women are especially sensitive after sex, so they will made some questions.
How could he insult me after sex?
 
How could he call her after sex with me?
 
Sheets are still warm from our passionable night, and he went without explanation.
 
How it doesn’t work out? I thought, after that night, everything will be allright.
 
Men will think different, because sex is field of their power. If you can’t win woman with words, take her into bed and show her who is the boss. They will separate love from sex and if they don’t love women who are their sex mates, it will be tough.
Makeup sex is not good way to solve problems with your boyfriend or husband. That is good intro, but never solution.
If you don’t have mind connection and understanding with your darling, even kama sutra will not help you .

Skeletons in the closet

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If you constantly live in past, you can’t focus at present and you don’t see the future.  I learnt to separate my present moments from past. Skeletons in the closet my stay there, cause every exhumation will make them smell more.

How i look at people who constantly live in past?

They can’t forgive mistakes.

They are not progressing.

They lost battle with time, cause everything was better for them, in “that time. “

They rarely give chance to new friends, new things and new love .

Living in past make us to regret, to remember or to be nostalgic. Imagine that you drive car, and you don’t drive forward. You drive back on the road you already passed. How you can expect change if you are constantly on the same road?

One of my qualities are forgiveness and tolerance. Yes, i give chance because i believe everyone makes mistakes and people can change in some circumstances. I am not rigid, so i don’t care if someone was hooligan, cheater, playboy, player or similar. Wounded people often have big heart and bunch of emotions, at difference from people who lived under golden cage with golden spoon in their ass.

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What kind of people judge others by their past?

People who live in comfort zone. No risk, no damage.

People who don’t like changes . 

People who aware to  make any cuts.

Sometimes i had ritual to make farewell with past. I burn old diaries, old notebook and old clothes. Gifts i got from ex partners and ex friends i thrown into garbage. If there is nothing left, i go forward. I don’t hate and i don’t turn around. I want to live free , that is why i can’t look at this skeletons.

People who live in past talk on this way : “Yes, i will never forget what he did. It was very sad , i remember as it happened yesterday. I still can’t look her into eyes. I remind myself every day that she doesn’t deserve to forgive her. I will remember this till the end of my life. “

Why is that bitterness when you have so much things in present to be joyful? Living in past is life on graveyard. All is still here, but nothing new.

Forbidden love with spouse

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Many articles talk about women who fall in love in married men. They are considered as victims, delusional or marriage breakers. Words are not saved, so slut, whore or bitch is not rare name for mistresses.

What happens when situation is an opposite? When single man falls in love in married women, how society look at this? Famous Richard Branson waited one year that his present wife divorce from her former husband. He loved married woman.

What kind of men can fall in love in married woman and got involved with her?

Men who had no luck in love. His partners are always wrong, and he is already so disappointed that he gave up from love.

Playboys. He ask perfect opportunity for relation without obligation, and married woman can’t commit to him cause he is already obligated to her husband.

Teenagers and young man in twenties. Their fantasies in bed starts with married teachers, neighbors or his friend’s mother.

Man with Peter Pan syndrome. He is afraid to commit and married woman is ideal for this.

Men in midlife crises. He is already divorced or he never got married, but he needs warm body next to him.

Now, this kind of affair has some rules, and if mad husband will not catch you , you need to stick to some rules:

As married man, spouse will not divorce in mostly cases. She needs refreshment, not commitment.

Husband is in first plan, so forget about spending holidays and vacation with her. 

Don’t make her feel guilty. You knew she is married so you have no power as her husband.

Don’t be jealous. She will sleep with her husband too, at least she is a wife.

Expect messages and calls in unpredictable time. She can’t know when she is free. 

In such situation, society will pity for man who got involved with spouse, and judge her who is cheater and marriage breaker. In situation where man is cheater, society will judge his mistress. In both situations, women are in worse positions, because mistress is a slut as cheating wife is a slut.

I wish to say, man can also found out himself in difficult situation. What started as sex can finish as broken heart. Man’s heart is also not from stone, he can really fall in love in spouse who is already taken. Then, what’s next? Do you want this woman because she is forbidden or you really want to steal her to be your wife?

In some situation fooled women fails and chose donkey instead of horse. She got divorce, but her lover is not interested for her anymore. It was great until here was drama and forbidden space. Now, when here are dishes and bills, all is routine, too much obligations and this is not funny anymore.

That happens with affairs, you never know when it could be worse. If you cut of affair and your husband still doesn’t know anything, you are saved. If you continue this road to hell, you can expect everything. Two or three broken hearts or another marriage? Time will show until you still have it enough guts to wait.

 

How to collaborate with beasts?

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This world is not perfect place. When you are surrounded by people who love and appreciate you, that is indeed source of happiness. Unfortunately, it is not always like this, and life will put you into unpleasant situations. Sometimes, you will be rabbit in the forest, and wolves will seek you as good trophy.
How many times you collaborated with guy who can’t stand you? Did you have neighbor who is rude every time you met him? You must work with ex boyfriend? This kind of situation are as taste of fish oil, bitter in your mouth, but you must digest this.
If you are flexible and mature person, you will make balance between your feeling inside and your official approach.
What to do when you are forced to deal with nasty , boomer person at work?
Stay calm. Any loss of nerves is point for your opponent.
 
Be formal. Don’t try to be smarmy or don’t act like coward. Your ex maybe scares you, but don’t feed him with your fear.
 
Smile and stay positive. Smile will upset him, because it makes you a winner.
 
Give him material for gossips. Talk loud at phone about something what makes you happy.
 
Be silent and make a memory. Next time, when this person will ask something from you, make a prank.
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Recently i got new office mate who is very unpleasant. I tried all to approach her, but she decided that she doesn’t like me. In the morning i say good morning, at the end of work time, i say bye. That is all our conversation and i don’t want to force her or beg for more. After all, this talks about her manners and education. I made also small revenge so i told her that  client asked for her, even he asked to talk with me. She was annoyed with long phone call, and i was smiling quietly. Let she taste her own medicine.
When you talk with your parents, sister, best friend, you are in good atmosphere. They courage you, you get respect, love and appreciation. With unpleasant people, with your enemies and rivals, you will be in the company of beasts. They will also give you something good. You will learn how strong and calm are you, and how you handle critics. You will learn about your tolerance and your fighting skills. Imagine how much is strange if you must work with ex husband or wife. Or, if you have common friend who invited you at the same birthday party. You will pretend that everything is all right, and deep inside of you fire will burn, ready to destroy your system.
Immature and weak person will lost nerves, start to yell or cry . Remember your childhood, did you ever play on playground with other children who were nasty to you? Maybe they slap you or hit with ball, and you came at home in tears. Now, this is not playground. This is your workplace or another space where you must cooperate with beasts. Your choice is to survive,or they will tear you.

How football connect couples?

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On first sight guys will say :”Women and football don’t match together.” Really, in old times woman was in the kitchen and man was in front of  TV screen with beer and his mates. 

The only role of woman was to bring him cold beer during the halftime and not to disturb him later.

In some countries still women can’t go on stadium, it is forbidden. World Champion cup changed the view, and more and more women became interested about football game.

Indeed, some couples go together at matches, and some follow football on TV.

What is advantage of such relations, when both of you are football supporters?

– you will not argue about programs 

– your have one more common topic for conversation

– your boyfriend or husband will not justify why he called friends to watch match

– you will not complain because of beer bottles in room, you will clean this together

– euphoria when your team wins will make you closer

– football connect you, not separate you

– he will be in mood for sex after match

How they approach women at stadium? 

I had interesting experience. I came there with my boyfriend and woman guard asked to open my purse. There was little bottle of perfume. She had discussion with me about that perfume, because accord her i could hit player with this small thing. Damn, i should have really good skill to hit the bottle so far, so perfume could not be a weapon or dangerous tool. At least she give me permission to enter with this. Other time woman told me to leave umbrella, but on another side of stadium were flares, group of nasty guys did a big mess. So, no wonder on Croatian stadiums are not good controls. Guards, take a look better, not in girls purses.

I like the feeling when our guys hit the goal. I love sound national hymn. I love to dress national colors, and some women made fashion brand from that. So, if you still think that football is boring, try to understand your partner and don’t make fight because your favorite soap opera is right now.

Virginity loss

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The important step in private life is loss of virginity, this moment when boy become man, and girl become woman. This change brings various reactions, from fascination until regret. Girls were imagined their perfect man and boys expected big testosterone adventure. Movies and magazines fooled them with some fake visions how should it be.
Some reaction of girls i knew:
Vision number one:
“In my fantasy, my first lover was man who made me romantic dinner with slow music. We were dancing in room with fireplace. Then we went into bed and made love until morning.”
Reality:
“That happened with guy i know for a 3 weeks. We were in his flat, he was with me about 10 minutes, i was bleeding and he went to sleep. He was hairy and i could not watch on his penis, it was too big, first i saw in my life, it was shock to me.”
Vision number two:
“I love him a long time ago and i wish that he is my first lover. I want drink expensive champaigne with him and later i want to show him my best underwear. I want that he say he loves me and look at deep into my eyes.”
Reality:
“We were in his car, this was so small place, i hurted my back, and i did not know where i will put my legs. So uncomfortable. He said that he is in rush. It was painful, like someone put needle in me. He did not say he loves me.”
Young girl will have own perception about making love. Loss of virginity is something magic or saint for her. She will be real woman finally. Nobody can’t say later she is a little girl, because she made love with man. Girls will compete to catch handsome guy who will be the first, because he will stay in their memories. Some girls have long relations and then is naturally to make love with their boyfriends, after one year of relation. They are prepared on this big event. Others are not so careful, they want to be wild and to taste life. When girl can’t find appropriate guy, she will catch someone to do this cut into her femininity.
Guys have different way and loss of virginity is their initiation. The same as they want to break ice with fists, they will go brave into this unknown world. Later they can tell story about their first sexual experience.
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What guys said?
“I was the first lover of my three girlfriends. I made it safe and practical.”
” I did it with older woman. He teached me everything i should know.”
” I made love first time with my friend. She was my school mate, so i practise with her.”
” During summer holidays i met fabulous stranger. She was from Germany. It was my first lady , my blonde woman, it was perfect.
What indeed happened?
” I did not know when i need to cum.”
“I could not put condom, and i lost desire.”
” I don’t get it when she should have orgasm.”
” She said i am fast as rabbit.”
“She did not bleed. I am not sure is she really a virgin.
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Some stories are created with half truth and half lies. All this is part of experience, so with first sex you will learn also first tricks. Adult man will not have the same expectations, and adult woman will stop dreaming. Average girl will lose virginity in period of 16-21 years old. Boys will also lose their virginity in youth, as teenagers or younger.
What happens when person skip that period and stay virgin? Also, some are virgins with 35 or even 40 years old. When person is still innocent in that period, shame and fear is bigger. Possible partner can say :”What you did until now? Nobody wanted you?”
Some women are dissapointed with their ideas of innocence and virginity. They are not married so they think sex outside of marriage is a sin. Also, some are so selective so they think nobody deserve their body until he did not fit to their standards. They were waiting, and they are still waiting for right one. Later, when they get old, choice is so small that they left alone.
Men will try to solve their lack of experience by watching porno movies, masturbating on magazines, or visiting brothels. Some men will try cyber sex with unknown women on internet. They will collect their knowledge on different way, until real opportunity knocks on their door.
Virginity loss is not only physical act. This is not amateur surgery. You are step forward into your maturity. You shared something private with other person and give someone part of you. Person who never experienced this will miss important lesson. Woman from fairytale will never be equal to real woman, as man from erotic movie is not man from reality.

Did you drink your own poison?

When i got angry, i use harsh words. I swear and yell. That is my reaction on injustice. Later, when i calm down, i read my messages and i wonder myself should i react different, more calmer or sophisticated. What is that telling about me? That i can’t control myself. That i exaggerated with my reactions and shown my weakness.

There are things on which i am especially sensitive, my honor, my family and my dignity. I don’t like betrayal too.  By showing my anger, i want to show indeed that someone took wrong actions. 

Some collateral victims fall, people who stand in the middle of my conflict. Friend of friends will  sometimes took sides and result is  their loss if they did not support me. Then i think, how i defeated myself by my reactions?

I turn back this movie in my head, and i think how stupid i was, should i keep my people around me in this personal war, instead of emotional blackmail?

Few things in learn , how person might defeat herself.

Don’t shot yourself with own bullets in this case:

Don’t order people to choose side.

Don’t tell people what they should think.

Don’t blame people because they did not involve in your conflict.

Don’t play on their loyalty, if they are loyal they will act by themselves.

Wise rival will win in personal conflict by standing in corner. This is sneaky player who will watch in silence and then do actions. When i used this strategy, my results were much better. Let the river flow situation was indeed on my side. I let person to insult me and to show others real face. Then i put smile and walk with head up. 

Our reactions talk about us more than we think. We drink sometimes our own poison even we are not aware of this. Someone pisses you of and you want to kill him. Killing time needs appropriate weapon. Pick time and place. Think about arguments. Think what could make you damage, what you can lose. 

People will stand by side of positive person. Someone who inspires you, motivate and bring you joy deserve your support. Person who drag you into her conflict is not desirable friend. We all pick our battles, and we must have right of choice where to involve and when. 

Insomnia – how to deal with?

My eyes are still wide open. I try to set up my pillow , how to make myself more comfortable. Too much in my mind right now, that thoughts are boring as flies, they capture my brain so hard that i feel them as iron chains. My eye allergy started, it itches, cause that is connected with insomnia.

I get up and and cook tea. Now i must wait few minutes to water boil. Still this is not enough, i will take medicine.

It is so quiet that i can feel sound of the dark. Darkness will swallow my thoughts.  

Even tea is too hot, i will burn my tongue. I drink short and quick mugs.

That will be forced dream. Yes i close my eyes, i will drown in that dark now. What i feel, now i am not here. I fall into abyss. That woman in black try to strangle me, i feel creature from air on my neck. I woke up and my heart skip a beat.



How to handle the day if you did not sleep? 


Bunch of coffee or energetic drinks will not help you, because you will feel like Earth is spinning around and you are still on one place. Energetic drinks are not healthy, it will wake you up temporary. You might work with half energy and when you come home, you will sleep in the same minute.

Enemies of good sleep:

nightmares

– pavor nocturnus (night fear)

– insomnia

If you read or exercise before sleep, if you drink coffee or tea you will have problem with sleeping. 

Pavor nocturnus and nightmare are typical for children, but if you pass through trauma it is possible that you dream your fears and they are hunting you. My usual nightmare was old woman in black, who was stalking me until i woke up with scream.

Everyone faced with insomnia at least once. Especially is bad feeling when you need to get up early after you did not sleep whole night. Working with headache is not recommended. Accord Murphy’s law, you will get more work if you did not sleep last night.

Try to deal with causes of your insomnia, no matter are they just your pillow, your partner or job. When you discover causes, you will have peaceful dream.


Some old recipes for insomnia:


– sex with your partner

-masturbation, if you are without partner

-watching movie, until you sleep

-walk into another room, open window and breath fresh air


Lack of dream might cause aggression. Imagine situation if someone yells at you, and sound of his voice break invisible fence in your brain. You want to fight back, so you will be aggressive too. If you are clumsy and nervous, the main reason is also night before, when you did not sleep. Next night is your opportunity, try to enter into land of your dreams.