business · career · gossip · jealousy · psychology · relations · sensibility · society

Why women at work compete with each other?

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When someone talks about discrimination between genders at workplace, many will pull trigger on men, who are bosses with bigger salaries, who are there to seduce innocent women or to abuse power on any other way. In shadow of this topic is relation women versus women.

Women are territorial as cats. Once when woman settle down on higher position at work , she is without mercy toward other who had no equal luck.

Women at work are separated on next categories:

Married. Respectable members of society, especially if they have at least two kids.

Divorced. Less respectable, but still in the game. Once she had someone, and if he left her with kids, she is worthy of condolence. 

In cohabitation. Women who live with men, but without legal paper. They are not so favorite, because marriage without ring and paper is not valuable.

Single. The worst category for workplace. You will be on target for all men, accord women gossips. Old, horny, ugly, even married when they wish to have fun. If someone has affair, you are on the line.

As much women are talking how men are cruel as bosses, they don’t see what they do to each other. Imagine young, beautiful girl who started to work , and her older roommates, not so young and beautiful, in the same office. There will be jealousy and envy, and soon she will get label as slutty girl or someone who steal other husbands. Her work skills will be underestimated, and if she will progress, all women will say that she did it through bed.

Women at work are very feisty when they talk about their privacy. If they are single, they will defend their status as the most desirable. If they are married, they will judge everyone who is not in marriage. If they are just engaged, they will also say that is the best time of their life.

Look at how Adele , single woman, talked with Andrea, woman in marriage, without kids.

“Well, at least i have weekend for myself. I don’t need to wash dirty socks and panties, and i don’t need to check is my husband hungry. I go to party. “

Your private status is your label. Once when you are employed, this status is part of your definition.
Sometimes, it will have influence on your professional tasks or you will have problems with vacation. When boss said to Mya that she needs to work overtime on holiday, she said : “But why me? I have three kids.” And boss replied to her: “Your kids are adults. If i say this to someone single, she will also complaint .”

Benefits related with status are also part of your privacy. Some women will use own family to get promotion, as for example : ” I need bigger salary because i am mother with two kids, i am single mother and so on. ” We all need money, but some circumstances will be our advantage. What about pregnancy? When Sheila went back at work after 2 years, she was promoted by default, even there were more candidates for her position. Simply, as mother, she got benefits which other woman could not have.

Sometimes, status will change. Woman will marry or have kids. Woman will get divorce. If this changes are unexpected, if woman is already in certain ages, this is perfect for gossips. Jasmine gave birth in forties, and women laughed that she hired man to get her pregnant.

Word discrimination is used so easily when man try to make joke at work with women, accord her abilities or her good looking.

But, when women start to sabotage each other, this is other piece of cake. You are victim of chicken fight. Instead of horny male boss, your rival is frustrated female who wait to tear you, because you are younger, smarter or more attractive. Simply, you have something what she can’t have and now you will pay for this.

business · career · internet · moral · psychology · relations · society

My first book

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For those who are interested to post review, here is my first e- book.

This book talks about internet world. Suitable for young generation who open their internet accounts without knowing where they enter and for older people who lived in different times, when like was not measure for values.

This book has purpose to make you smile but also to warn on some things which you might not noticed .

http://www.lulu.com/shop/kristina-gallo/lost-in-virtual-world-20-kind-of-traps-you-might-meet-on-internet/ebook/product-23288022.html

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anxiety · character · fantasy · freedom · rebellion · responsibility · society

Who are social martyrs?

Life meals are sometimes bitter. It is not that everything is sweet as milk and honey. If you raised in happy family maybe life spared you from miserable moments, but the grudge will wait you later. Humans are on this world to taste fish oil because this is indicator of their firmness. Pain and sadness are not welcome guests, but some people will represent themselves as born to be unhappy. In some sick way, they enjoy to be martyrs, because this is the way to keep attention.

Do you know someone who is big martyr? Colleague from work, mother in law, your dear friend or even wife?

Typical day of every martyr starts like this:

I must wash laundry because nobody will help me. I must cook lunch because my family will be hungry and they will yell on me. I must stay overtime at work because i will get fired if i don’t do this. I can’t watch my soap opera because my husband is watching football. I must make dinner for my guests because i owe them, last time me and husband were invited in their house. What they will think of me if i don’t invite them for return?”

 

In the eyes of martyr everything is black. Life is one big pain and martyr is stigmatized person who must do all bad jobs, because others expect this from him. Everyone must give confession to martyr, that he is the person who were walking on thorns with his first steps.

What kind of problems martyr never solves?

Martyr is person in bad relation. He knows this, but he stays there anyway.

Martyr is woman who never get marry because she is afraid to get out from status quo situation.

Martyr is person who stays at bad work until retirement because everyone feels sorry for him and this is his kind of feed for soul.

Martyr is son who lives with his mother because he is not able to find a job and pay own flat.

Martyr is mother who cook meals and wash laundry for her adult kids because they could not do it alone.

Jade is woman with health problems. She takes pills , painkillers , because her pains in back are unbearable. She doesn’t want to go to private doctor because she needs money for other things. She doesn’t talk with her sister and brother for a 10 years, because they took her big part of family inheritance. She never forgive them how they acted at court when her father died. She is not without friends and people wish to help her, but she rejects every favor, because she doesn’t want to be treated as poor woman. But, when someone ask her about her life, she used to say : ” Everyone abandoned me. I don’t have any help from people. They avoid me because i am old and poor. ”

Martyr is kind of manipulator.

How does it happens?

Martyr use 4 kind of deadly weapons:

Guilt.  

Conscience.

Condolence.

Empathy. 

If you don’t help martyr, you will feel guilty. If you feel guilty, your conscience will warn you and you will not sleep well. Then you start to feel condolence and your sense for empathy is awake.

That is how Helen did. She was old nasty widow. She had many people who were indeed her servants. One man brought her things from shopping mall every day. Other servant was woman who cooked her meals, for small money. The next was woman who was drinking whiskey with her and listened her problems, to make her company. Helen was nasty, but nobody complained, because she was old and helpless widow. That was her ticket for paradise, to be blessed as martyr. Once someone rejected to help her, and Helen said: “How can you be so cruel to old and weak lady as me? ”

When someone acts as martyr, that is lack of self-respect . Also that shows laziness and conformism. Person will lean on others even she marked others as culprits. If you live with helpless mother in law or you work with colleague who never finish his work and you must to it for him , you share life with martyr. In this case you are servant, and they are masters. Read between lines when your colleague ask you to help him with unfinished task. ” Help me, you know how to do this”, indeed means ” I don’t want to do it alone because you will do it instead of me. “

patience · phobia · prejudices · psychology · rebellion · responsibility · society

Why i don’t like Monday?

 

In year 1979 , at Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, Brenda Ann Spencer was shooting and killed two people. Eight were injured in this terrible event, and when police ask her why she did it, she replied :”I don’t like Mondays. ” She was only 16 and she surrended immediately , without resistance. She inspired Bob Geldof to write song “Why i don’t like Monday”, and Boomtown Rats made music, so it was favourite song on top lists, as reminder on this terrible crime.

Monday phenomenon is not an exception, because many of us will say “i hate Monday.” No matter if you get up early for school, or you are travelling on the road to your job, you will notice traffic jam or crowd and it will upset you, especially because you realized that weekend is over. Our body and mind are in shock, because after relaxing we must back to reality and daily obligations. You will not shoot nobody, but you will be furious , nervous and frustrated.

It is not recommended that you have exam or business meeting in Monday morning. Your mind is still sleepy and even bunch of coffee cups will not help you. Remember how many times you did not sleep well at Sunday, because tomorrow is damn Monday and your duties are waiting for you.

Accord this statistic, mostly car accidents, 1072 happen between Sunday and Monday, at midnight and 3 a.m.

Results from researching in Hong Kong, from 1989-2001 shown that Monday is suicide day. 22% of suicides were committed at Monday. They made conclusion, suicides happens because of family arguments, which started at weekend and continued in Monday.

Why is Monday such notorious day ?

You realise that your problems start again, even you may forgot it at weekends.

If you delayed something, Monday will remind you on deadline.

If you started diet and broke your rules at weekend, you must start again from Monday.

You are unsleepy after party nights with lot of alcohol.

Your vacation is over and you must back to work.

 

Monday is indeed cut from fantasies and return to reality. This day is useful as alert. Brenda Ann Spencer made terrible action to pull attention on herself.

Did she choose Monday randomly or with purpose? We can guess.

bohemians · crises · depression · destiny · moral · sensibility · society

Skeletons in the closet

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If you constantly live in past, you can’t focus at present and you don’t see the future.  I learnt to separate my present moments from past. Skeletons in the closet my stay there, cause every exhumation will make them smell more.

How i look at people who constantly live in past?

They can’t forgive mistakes.

They are not progressing.

They lost battle with time, cause everything was better for them, in “that time. “

They rarely give chance to new friends, new things and new love .

Living in past make us to regret, to remember or to be nostalgic. Imagine that you drive car, and you don’t drive forward. You drive back on the road you already passed. How you can expect change if you are constantly on the same road?

One of my qualities are forgiveness and tolerance. Yes, i give chance because i believe everyone makes mistakes and people can change in some circumstances. I am not rigid, so i don’t care if someone was hooligan, cheater, playboy, player or similar. Wounded people often have big heart and bunch of emotions, at difference from people who lived under golden cage with golden spoon in their ass.

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What kind of people judge others by their past?

People who live in comfort zone. No risk, no damage.

People who don’t like changes . 

People who aware to  make any cuts.

Sometimes i had ritual to make farewell with past. I burn old diaries, old notebook and old clothes. Gifts i got from ex partners and ex friends i thrown into garbage. If there is nothing left, i go forward. I don’t hate and i don’t turn around. I want to live free , that is why i can’t look at this skeletons.

People who live in past talk on this way : “Yes, i will never forget what he did. It was very sad , i remember as it happened yesterday. I still can’t look her into eyes. I remind myself every day that she doesn’t deserve to forgive her. I will remember this till the end of my life. “

Why is that bitterness when you have so much things in present to be joyful? Living in past is life on graveyard. All is still here, but nothing new.

business · career · character · relations · sensibility · society · women

How to collaborate with beasts?

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This world is not perfect place. When you are surrounded by people who love and appreciate you, that is indeed source of happiness. Unfortunately, it is not always like this, and life will put you into unpleasant situations. Sometimes, you will be rabbit in the forest, and wolves will seek you as good trophy.
How many times you collaborated with guy who can’t stand you? Did you have neighbor who is rude every time you met him? You must work with ex boyfriend? This kind of situation are as taste of fish oil, bitter in your mouth, but you must digest this.
If you are flexible and mature person, you will make balance between your feeling inside and your official approach.
What to do when you are forced to deal with nasty , boomer person at work?
Stay calm. Any loss of nerves is point for your opponent.
 
Be formal. Don’t try to be smarmy or don’t act like coward. Your ex maybe scares you, but don’t feed him with your fear.
 
Smile and stay positive. Smile will upset him, because it makes you a winner.
 
Give him material for gossips. Talk loud at phone about something what makes you happy.
 
Be silent and make a memory. Next time, when this person will ask something from you, make a prank.
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Recently i got new office mate who is very unpleasant. I tried all to approach her, but she decided that she doesn’t like me. In the morning i say good morning, at the end of work time, i say bye. That is all our conversation and i don’t want to force her or beg for more. After all, this talks about her manners and education. I made also small revenge so i told her that  client asked for her, even he asked to talk with me. She was annoyed with long phone call, and i was smiling quietly. Let she taste her own medicine.
When you talk with your parents, sister, best friend, you are in good atmosphere. They courage you, you get respect, love and appreciation. With unpleasant people, with your enemies and rivals, you will be in the company of beasts. They will also give you something good. You will learn how strong and calm are you, and how you handle critics. You will learn about your tolerance and your fighting skills. Imagine how much is strange if you must work with ex husband or wife. Or, if you have common friend who invited you at the same birthday party. You will pretend that everything is all right, and deep inside of you fire will burn, ready to destroy your system.
Immature and weak person will lost nerves, start to yell or cry . Remember your childhood, did you ever play on playground with other children who were nasty to you? Maybe they slap you or hit with ball, and you came at home in tears. Now, this is not playground. This is your workplace or another space where you must cooperate with beasts. Your choice is to survive,or they will tear you.
behavior · couples · psychology · relations · romance · sensibility · society

How football connect couples?

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On first sight guys will say :”Women and football don’t match together.” Really, in old times woman was in the kitchen and man was in front of  TV screen with beer and his mates. 

The only role of woman was to bring him cold beer during the halftime and not to disturb him later.

In some countries still women can’t go on stadium, it is forbidden. World Champion cup changed the view, and more and more women became interested about football game.

Indeed, some couples go together at matches, and some follow football on TV.

What is advantage of such relations, when both of you are football supporters?

– you will not argue about programs 

– your have one more common topic for conversation

– your boyfriend or husband will not justify why he called friends to watch match

– you will not complain because of beer bottles in room, you will clean this together

– euphoria when your team wins will make you closer

– football connect you, not separate you

– he will be in mood for sex after match

How they approach women at stadium? 

I had interesting experience. I came there with my boyfriend and woman guard asked to open my purse. There was little bottle of perfume. She had discussion with me about that perfume, because accord her i could hit player with this small thing. Damn, i should have really good skill to hit the bottle so far, so perfume could not be a weapon or dangerous tool. At least she give me permission to enter with this. Other time woman told me to leave umbrella, but on another side of stadium were flares, group of nasty guys did a big mess. So, no wonder on Croatian stadiums are not good controls. Guards, take a look better, not in girls purses.

I like the feeling when our guys hit the goal. I love sound national hymn. I love to dress national colors, and some women made fashion brand from that. So, if you still think that football is boring, try to understand your partner and don’t make fight because your favorite soap opera is right now.

communication · couples · discrimination · psychology · publicity · relations · society

Discrimination about sex orientation -both sides


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In Croatian Family Law marriage is described as community between man and woman, and idea of referendum for family  is protection of traditional family, which would be elimination lesbian and gays as married couples. 

In Croatian Constitution, on that way should be regulated that marriage is allowed just between man and woman. 

Croatian Constitution regulate that everybody has right on own freedom and expression of own opinion, freedom and values, so this kind of article is against law. In Sunday people must vote yes or no, to change basic of this Constitution. The group “In the name of family” started actions for this referendum.

Croatian people’s opinion are different. Here is wish to take care of traditional values, mother and father who will take care of their children. On other hand, in Croatia are also people with lesbian or gay orientation and they want to have their love on official way. Gay pride in Zagreb and Split every year is cause of mess in the streets . 

Many people in Croatia agreed in one thing. This referendum costs, 48 millions Croatian Kuna, and who paid this money? Croatia has almost 400 000 unemployment citizens. Is this time for this referendum, also in period when every third woman in Croatian marriage  is abused woman? Why should not we vote about protection of women?

 



Since Croatia entered in European union, everyone expects resurrection of rights. 

People with gay or lesbian orientation, people who change gender asks their rights, because it is impossible to have surgery in Croatia and to change gender person must to go Belgrade in Serbia. That people have their aggressive ways to push their rights forward. Croatia is not Wonderland, it can’t be realized over night. Especially, when salaries are smaller and smaller, and our basic rights are in danger. As Marx said , in this case it would be suitable “first you must have money to satisfy basic needs, then second wishes.”

Everyone expect to realize dreams in Croatia. Homeless, Gypsies, refugees, people without job, and not everyone will give their contribution to work on better life. They wish benefits but they are not willing to take obligations.

If you think that Croatia is prison, look around other countries. Go to see their law regulations, and somewhere you will not have right even to say about your sexual orientation or you will be punished. 



We got life partnerships for gays and lesbians as form of community. This is not equal as hetero marriage, but couples has certain rights and protection. We have Gay pride every year and there are no victims, because we use democratic methods to express our wishes. Besides that, we are country which lives from tourism. Gay tourists are profitable and politicians should know this . 

Even many associations accuse Croatia for discrimination, that is not true in many cases. What we could expect from country which was build on blood and wars, that we will so easy open our doors to people we can’t trust, as refugees, migrants or others who search their shelters? 

career · character · freedom · psychology · publicity · responsibility · society

Football and policy are inseparable

Sport and policy are two different things, but often policy interfere in sport, especially in football. Good examples are footballers Giorgos Katidis who got lifetime ban from all Greek football teams because of fascistic greetings, and Joe Šimunić who got money penalty and 10 football matches out of game because he said controversial words from Croatian history  “For home we are ready.” 

FIFA said clearly, zero tolerance on racism, Nazism and any kind of similar aggression. It is understandable when some footballers are hurt, for example Mario Balotelli when people tease him with bananas and compare with monkey. 

We have other side of this mirror.

 

Sometimes, footballers are good servants in political games. In the time of elections in Croatia, before 7 years,  ex Croatian coach Niko Kovač supported politician Ivo Sanader in his campaign. It was good marketing, because Niko was famous football player and he also said “and my brother Robert too.” His brother Robert Kovač, also famous footballer was announced as part of his support. Niko justified his words in a way that he only wanted to promote himself as captain of Croatian football.

Ivo Sanader was Croatian premier and he won that elections 2007. Later Ivo Sanader was subject of investigation, he was corrupted and he finished his political career in Croatian prison Remetinec. Advertising with Niko was subject of jokes, even these days people laugh at quote “and my brother too”, when Niko Kovač has something important to say about football. He is now national coach and for sure he is not proud on days when he supported Ivo Sanader.

Politicians and football cannot be separated, so you will see premiers, ministers and president in VIP during the football match on national level. They will shake hands with footballers. Some of them will go so far that they will be candidates for parliament in next elections, why not to connect football and policy? Croatian football manager Zdravko Mamić, who was president of Dinamo , football champion club in Croatia, said that only fools think how is possible to separate football from policy. When Croatia played against Czech Republic, hooligans interrupted match because VIP seats were taken by Tomislav Horvatinčić, man who was convicted for killed two people in accident on the sea. He seat next to Davor Šuker, president of Croatian football association.

 

Policy is a bitch. You never know when will some successful politician finish his career behind prison bars. Then you can be ashamed if you supported his side. Just because politicians bring money and connections, football and policy are inseparable but also this is reason for mess in stadiums.

friendship · gossip · internet · lesson · moral · prejudices · psychology · society

Virtual friend – Trojan horse or diamond?

Do you have lot of friends? If you are popular person, probably everyone will call you on birthday, party or any kind of celebration, because you are necessary part of such events.

Now, another question is: Do you have lot of virtual friends?

Together with appearance of internet, friendship got new meaning. Virtual friendship is turn on, and people try to add more and more unknown persons, just to be popular in virtual space. So, you will see around girls in swimsuits , how they have lists of about 3000 “friends”. 

Let’s make an analysis of this kind of friends. Woman x has big Facebook list , because her photo is under avatar of some popular actress or she posted half naked photographs , to pull attention on herself.

Who are these people, and are they really friends?

50% of this list are people who never talked with her. They are collectors of numbers.

25% of this list are people who sent her messages because of her photos. They are searching for sex or flirt.

10% are colleagues from work or school mates. They talk with her or gossip what she wears that day.

5% are her relatives, including brothers or sisters. 

10% are her real friends, they care about her or maybe not, depends of situation.

One day woman x got virus and asked for a culprit. That virus arrived from 50% group of friends. She never talked with sender because she did not saw his messages , her inbox was full of spam. 

When people talk in public ” i want to be your friend”, they often doesn’t know the meaning. Friendship is not based by invitations for applications, boring games, liking boring pages or posting tags around. People who ask for that are interested for attention, not for real friendship. 

Did we forget what friendship really is, when internet appeared as technological tool for gathering people? When we started to ignore people from our real life, because some exotic stranger posted awesome profile photo which capture our eyes?

Imagine situation that you have a flu. You will not be able to post on internet, or you will shortly log in, before you go to bed. You will cry ” i am sick” and expect condolence from people. Some will use an opportunity to post behind your back and spam your wall with tags, others will gossip you around, and minority will send you message to get well. 

Why is this happening?

Virtual friends are strangers. If you don’t know them well, especially if you never talked with them, you can’t expect their loyalty and respect. They came from different countries, cultures and traditions. Even their law is different. What is rude for Asian people is maybe polite for European people. If your virtual friend is person who never came out from his city, it will be hard to understand your habits , if you are open minded creature.

This 5 signs will show you if your virtual friend is person with good intentions:

When you are not here, he asks about you, your health, your problems. He sent messages because he cares.

He will not leave your page if you had conflict with him.

He will not post things without your permission.

He will not share your personal photos, unless you allow this.

He will not flirt with your girlfriend, and she will not flirt with your boyfriend.

 

Virtual people are team. If you can feel their loyalty during years, if they don’t change their opinion about you, you are on the right way. It is not matter do you have 20 or 500 friends, or you can’t add more people because your quote is 5000 already. The point is, that you found right people for trust. One day you can meet some of them or they can help you in hard times.  Depends to whom you give hand. You can get Trojan horse or real diamond.