anxiety · crises · depression · drama · psychology · sensibility · time

Insomnia – how to deal with?

My eyes are still wide open. I try to set up my pillow , how to make myself more comfortable. Too much in my mind right now, that thoughts are boring as flies, they capture my brain so hard that i feel them as iron chains. My eye allergy started, it itches, cause that is connected with insomnia.

I get up and and cook tea. Now i must wait few minutes to water boil. Still this is not enough, i will take medicine.

It is so quiet that i can feel sound of the dark. Darkness will swallow my thoughts.  

Even tea is too hot, i will burn my tongue. I drink short and quick mugs.

That will be forced dream. Yes i close my eyes, i will drown in that dark now. What i feel, now i am not here. I fall into abyss. That woman in black try to strangle me, i feel creature from air on my neck. I woke up and my heart skip a beat.

How to handle the day if you did not sleep? 

Bunch of coffee or energetic drinks will not help you, because you will feel like Earth is spinning around and you are still on one place. Energetic drinks are not healthy, it will wake you up temporary. You might work with half energy and when you come home, you will sleep in the same minute.

Enemies of good sleep:


– pavor nocturnus (night fear)

– insomnia

If you read or exercise before sleep, if you drink coffee or tea you will have problem with sleeping. 

Pavor nocturnus and nightmare are typical for children, but if you pass through trauma it is possible that you dream your fears and they are hunting you. My usual nightmare was old woman in black, who was stalking me until i woke up with scream.

Everyone faced with insomnia at least once. Especially is bad feeling when you need to get up early after you did not sleep whole night. Working with headache is not recommended. Accord Murphy’s law, you will get more work if you did not sleep last night.

Try to deal with causes of your insomnia, no matter are they just your pillow, your partner or job. When you discover causes, you will have peaceful dream.

Some old recipes for insomnia:

– sex with your partner

-masturbation, if you are without partner

-watching movie, until you sleep

-walk into another room, open window and breath fresh air

Lack of dream might cause aggression. Imagine situation if someone yells at you, and sound of his voice break invisible fence in your brain. You want to fight back, so you will be aggressive too. If you are clumsy and nervous, the main reason is also night before, when you did not sleep. Next night is your opportunity, try to enter into land of your dreams.

couples · depression · destiny · drama · dreams · psychology · relations · time

Love with deadline

I will be older and smarter, we used to say after every birthday. As we are getting old, we don’t become smarter. We just easier handle some things than before, so correct thing is that we are wiser with ages.

Good example is person in love. Love will affect on equal way on person who is 18 and other who is 40 . Just, we pay our mistakes more expensive than before.

When Sabina was 18, everything was so easier. She fall in love in that special guy, and he did not care for her. She cried and soon she fall in love in another guy. Choice was bigger, it was easier to forget and to turn new page of her life. Now Sabina is woman in forties. Behind her is ruined marriage, without kids. She is less beautiful than before. She has weaker nerves, and she can’t go to nightclub in short skirt to seduce every guy she wants. Even her standards are lower, she accepted to date with guy who is not even on her taste. 

We can’t stop time. We can use time on the best way we know. 

Later, we should not regret for missed opportunities. I don’t believe in quote that is never too late. For some things is indeed too late. Ronald was handsome young man, but so picky. Every girl had something what he did not like. Big nose, small breasts, short legs, too provocative clothes and so on. He stayed virgin until now, and he has 35 . In his youth women were around him as butterflies. Later he got 20 kilograms because he was all the time between his office and fridge, always in his car, he almost forgot to walk. Women easily start to lose interest for him. He stayed passive , and new guys are coming. Ronald is still alone and wait for a perfect woman to have first sex with her.

Some things really have deadline. 

Yes, you can find woman of your life in your sixties, but how long you will live to enjoy with her? Passive people forget one important thing. We can’t wait for granny with cookies, we must create our chances. Sometimes is better that we try even something we don’t like at first sight. This is an experience. Talk with this guy even he is not your number one, he maybe has handsome friends to introduce you. Try with this girl to collect your experience , next time you will be more ready for right one. Some people come into our life to teach us, not to stay there. 

Love has deadline, don’t miss it.

drama · games · money · psychology · society · superstition · time

Why are people attracted to gambling?


Get up early and stay at work , then repeat it until weekend. It doesn’t sound nice , isn’t it? Industrial age invented work time 8 hours, and when alarm clock rings , this sound is worse than any bad songs you listened during your life. So, thoughts about easy money are present in your mind, you would sell soul to devil just to stay in bed. That is how average person lives, work for money. 

One day i was walking in the street and two pretty girls gave me free tickets for casino. It was promo ticket and i went there to taste luck. I did not win, but they wake up my curiosity so next time i came with my money and won. During seven years i was winning and losing , depends of luck. I don’t have debts but i heard about people with bad destiny, who get into troubles because of pathological  gambling. I heard about neighbor who lost flat because he had no money to return. I heard about man who spent social recompense for his children, all on poker table. I heard about other man, who never came back in his country, because somewhere in overseas he lost huge money in casino.

Why are people attracted to gambling?

Escape from routine. 

When you spent all day in office to earn 30 EURO daily, your sight is focused on machine which can bring you jackpot. Sit half hour and you might earn more money than whole month. The same, you can lose your salary for half hour. This is risk and if you feel your heart is beating, you are addicted.

Possibility to meet interesting people.

For sure, in casino is always something happening. You can meet even celebrities . You can get advices how to gamble. Also you can share experiences.


Many casinos have organized tournaments with rewards for the most successful players.

Last time you won.

That is how story starts. You won when you were there and now you want to win again. Or, someone else won and you are hoping that is your turn.

Last time you lose.

If you lost money, you wish to get it back. And how you will return money, if you don’t play again?

You are depressed or sad.

This game will raise your blood pressure. If you get money, you might forget reason why you are sad. Alert, if you lose money, you will get out from there with more anger than you get in.

No matter do you play on slot machines, roulette or poker, your intentions are to get money. It means, you are player. There are also other kind of people, observers. These are the worst. I remember woman who sit next to me , with cigarette in her mouth and tried to talk while i was gambling. She was not there to join, she wanted to see how others lose money and to disturb. So i said to her to go in coffee bar for chat. 

You will easy recognize players who are not only observers. 

They never talk with you. They are focused on their game.

They play sometimes on few machines. Automatic button is turn on, so they wish to increase their odds to win more money.

Sometimes they are swearing , it means they are losing. 

They knock on machine, for luck. They play with smallest coins, just to be there. It means they already lost much.

If you see someone who is bragging about big amount of money, be sure that he lost a lot before. That is darkness of gambling, you will lost much money before you win. You will win and then it will not be enough, so you will play and then lost. Once, when debt is here, you will start to make plan B. Maybe you did not eat because you need money for gambling? You did not go to hairdresser because this time you feel lucky?

Gambling is one of sins. If you are minor, gambling is forbidden to you and owner of casino will pay big money if minors are gambling there. 

Even this addiction is invisible, gambling is red apple with worm inside. When you drink, you feel dizziness. If you smoke, you will start coughing. If you eat too much, you will feel sickness. Well, when you are gambling, there are no signs of alert, just your empty wallet. Then you will start to ask people to lend you money. Then you will sell some jewelry because you need money for one more time. 

Gerard Piquet, famous Spanish footballer has habit to gamble. If he lose money, he will not feel sad, because he has more than enough. When ordinary person lose money, trouble is here. Everywhere in casino are warnings about influence of gambling. 

Gambling is somewhere between hell and paradise. Losers are in hell, and winners in paradise. If you once won and then lose , you are in purgatory. You will for sure back again in the game. 

friendship · life · loyalty · psychology · responsibility · time

Friends for a lifetime


It is hard to make real friendship. Statistic says that in life we might have 1-3 real friends for a lifetime. Others are acquaintances, colleagues from workplace or people we meet every day on the street.  You can also have great virtual friends, but if you have profiles with thousand people, can you consider all as friends? Accord statistic, you can relate with about 150 people at your pages.

We will meet many people during our life. First connections starts in childhood. Then we pass through first conflicts, fights and tears. Later we will find friends for night life and dating. 

Temptations starts  after school age. We will move in another city, find other new friends and maybe partner for marriage. Then old friends became past if they don’t go on the same path.

We can’t expect too much and also it is wrong to blame someone if friendship did not survive. 

Also, it is wrong to keep connection from next reasons:

if you are neighbors and your parents are friends, why should you must be friend with their daughter or son

– if your friend is alone and not able to find company

– if your friend is poor and need you for money

It is nice to have friends, but there will be moments in life you will pass alone. When you can’t do nothing alone without help of your friends, you are too addicted to them. Like a parasite. You will need friends to drive you, to cry with you, to drink with you and you are not able to do nothing for them.

The basic of real friendship are these rules:

take a critic because nobody is perfect

– be happy to have friend, but be ready to live without him or her

– always give something for return

– be loyal and respectable

There is difference between real and fake friends. Fake friends will be around you during your best time, but they will escape when you have problems or if you get sick. Real friends will give you their time and support when you have the worst problems.

When you  will say that you found friend for a lifetime?
when you were in big trouble and he did not leave your side

– you are still in contact even you had conflicts

– you said critics to each other, but never talked behind your back

– you are on his priority list

Friendship is like weather. When outside is sunny, people are gathering around and streets are full. But when storm appears, people runaway and only the bravest stay and ask for a solution. Friend for a lifetime is indeed your right hand.