anxiety · character · depression · envy · responsibility · sensibility · violence

Did you drink your own poison?

When i got angry, i use harsh words. I swear and yell. That is my reaction on injustice. Later, when i calm down, i read my messages and i wonder myself should i react different, more calmer or sophisticated. What is that telling about me? That i can’t control myself. That i exaggerated with my reactions and shown my weakness.

There are things on which i am especially sensitive, my honor, my family and my dignity. I don’t like betrayal too.  By showing my anger, i want to show indeed that someone took wrong actions. 

Some collateral victims fall, people who stand in the middle of my conflict. Friend of friends will  sometimes took sides and result is  their loss if they did not support me. Then i think, how i defeated myself by my reactions?

I turn back this movie in my head, and i think how stupid i was, should i keep my people around me in this personal war, instead of emotional blackmail?

Few things in learn , how person might defeat herself.

Don’t shot yourself with own bullets in this case:

Don’t order people to choose side.

Don’t tell people what they should think.

Don’t blame people because they did not involve in your conflict.

Don’t play on their loyalty, if they are loyal they will act by themselves.

Wise rival will win in personal conflict by standing in corner. This is sneaky player who will watch in silence and then do actions. When i used this strategy, my results were much better. Let the river flow situation was indeed on my side. I let person to insult me and to show others real face. Then i put smile and walk with head up. 

Our reactions talk about us more than we think. We drink sometimes our own poison even we are not aware of this. Someone pisses you of and you want to kill him. Killing time needs appropriate weapon. Pick time and place. Think about arguments. Think what could make you damage, what you can lose. 

People will stand by side of positive person. Someone who inspires you, motivate and bring you joy deserve your support. Person who drag you into her conflict is not desirable friend. We all pick our battles, and we must have right of choice where to involve and when. 

anxiety · behavior · bohemians · discrimination · erotica · psychology · relations · violence

Inhibitions

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Key of harmonic relation is clear mind, pure heart  and strong character. If we are free from inhibitions, half way is done. We don’t doubt in ourselves, there is nothing to shame about if our wishes are not in harmony with others and wishes of society.

No matter do you wish to show your naked body in magazine or suggest hot night to guy, or if you just want to show legs in short skirt, first step is to be free of invisible chains. Whatever is blocking you inside, face it with this and show what you want.

Some people have problems with inhibitions, which are serious limits to relax in any kind of relations.

What type of people are in this risky group?

Shy people. They feel unpleasant in crowd, they are blushing and their voice tremble. Sometimes they can’t breath . Also they will repeat some words, as they want to lean on something during speech.

Introvert people. They feel better in corner, with book in their hands. Their privacy is closed and they are untrustful. Their internal world is locked.

People devoted to tradition or religion on extreme ways. Some people will feel guilt if you suggest anything provocative, against their tradition or religion, what is opposite to their  rules.

People with complexes. No matter if they have bitter experience, bad opinion about their physical look or their abilities, seed of inhibition is inside of them.

Inhibitions are not something to shame about or subject of jokes. If you laugh to person who has such problems, you are idiot.

What if you fall in love in person with inhibitions?

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These are steps.

Open this box carefully, don’t push and don’t force. Show him that your world without chains is beautiful.

Go slow. If your girlfriend is still virgin, don’t rush with sex. Show your romantic side first.

Show your weakness. Don’t act superior toward shy person. You are also human. Tell this person when you slip on ice and fall. Tell how you spill coffee in restaurant. Also you are not perfect.

Give them compliments. You must feed their self respect. Make them stronger, wake up their self-confidence.

The worst thing you can do when you have friend or lover with complexes, is to make laugh or give them pills or alcohol. Remember movie “Carrie.” Girl got period and she had no idea what is this. Until she was bleeding under shower, other girls hit her with tampons. It was scary scene and expression of human cruelty.

Person with inhibitions is not experimental rabbit or someone unworthy. When someone is hiding secret, that is somehow charming. You wish to know what is bothering him and it will wake up your curiosity. When you love such person, use patience and tenderness.

Everyone of us faced with such kind of obstacle. You had inhibition, your sister or friend also had this problem. This is temporary, so don’t make problem harder. If someone is sinking, give him hand , don’t push him deeper to get drown.

behavior · bullying · character · crises · discrimination · relations · society · violence

How to develop guts?

Until the world is here, violence will be reality. Aggressive people are everywhere, no matter about gender, race, age or religion. Violence is instinct inside and such person is pushed to do bad things to others. Targets are weak people, those who don’t show intention to defend themselves or who are afraid to show resistance.

The main problem about violence is not strength which some nasty dude shown. Problem is in silence and lack of guts. So when someone says : “You don’t have bolls”, message is that you are chicken who can’t do nothing to stop violence.

Elaine was victim of bullying. She was pretty so guys started to touch her when she was 13. First she was crying and fighting with them, but they were in majority, and other girls were even jealous, so they declared her as little slut. Mostly, her friends did not want to involve. It was unbearable after six months in class with bullies, so Elaine reported them to headmaster. Lucky for her, headmaster was woman without compromise. She punished guys and even they threat to Elaine, she was safe after this actions. 

If someone is bully in childhood, there is big possibility that he will do mobbing at work or domestic violence toward his family members. So much cases are not reported by women, because they afraid to tell what happens in their home. 

Why people have mouth closed even violence is present?

Safety. They afraid it can be worse. Woman can lose financial support, children will lose father.

Fear from bigger damage. This guy beats his wife, but she afraid that he will kill her in case of report.

Reaction of society. Maybe majority will not support you. For example, in Saudi Arabia, if woman is raped, that is her fault.

Odds between aggressor and victim. Maybe more people support violent guy, and you will be guilty.

Desire for fake peace. People will not involve because they want to avoid drama. Indeed that peace is not real.

Violent person is hungry for power, and until he has approval of others, he will do bad actions. 


Once when someone reply on properly way, that person will show weakness. It is easy to do harassment and abuse of others until they are quiet. For example, guy from high school will beat his friends, but when bigger guy slap him, he will be down. From that moment, everyone can kick his ass.

Interesting area of violence is internet. Even in internet some people will avoid fights.

Who will expose fake profiles in some groups? Who will tell to friend that other friend is cheating him? There is no much people who will do this. They will tell, it is not my business. Or, they will afraid to lose affection of others.

Courage is expression of attitude. Person who really has guts will not give a credit to bully. There are many ways to finish abuse. This is risk, but hazard is to leave situation like this.

If you expose violent person, if you defeat him or her, you may not find many approvals from others. But, people will secretly admire to you, because you did something what they are only thinking about.