business · career · character · crises · depression · illusion · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · relations

How to gain respect from people?

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There is a quote : respect is hard to get and easy to lose. Respect is base in all areas of life. If someone loves you, he must respect you, there is no real love without respect. If you have no respect in your friend circles, your friends are fake. Also, when you have no authority at work, it means you are disrespected.

Some people are born to be respected, but others must work hard to gain respect.

Imagine woman with big breasts and child face in business circles. She must try hard to get respect of her cooperators. Human mind is superficial and very often people will not think of her as business lady. Stereotypes are obstacles on the way to respect, because it is hard to change what is in other’s heads. You can help yourself in this situation, to teach people what they can’t do. If you wear dirty clothes, if you swear until you are talking, your message is clear : “I don’t expect respect from you.”

Barbara was really sexy nurse and nobody get her serious. Even some doctors had habit to pinch her or comment her big decolletage. One day it was enough, and she replied properly on joke about her . When she was sitting, her boss said: “You can open legs more to see your panties. ” She replied :”In your ages i would buy bigger glasses. ”

It was scandal but she earned respect as in prison, on harder way. Sometimes we must play games to earn respect. Sometimes we will be in situation to slap person who shows disrespect.

 

The same is in social networks. There are so much traps where people can feel disrespected. When someone add you and ask for sex on camera, this person is bad mannered. Delete and block, because, so pity you can’t slap him or her. Unfortunately, social networks are lair of disrespectful people and they have all freedom to express this.

If you want that others show respect, you must have self respect.

Don’t let people to make bad jokes with you, to spit on you without punishment. Some people learn on hard way, the same as donkey who need paddle to behave. There is a difference between joke and provocation and this boundaries are connected with respect. If you think you don’t deserve respect, others will feel this and you will not get what you ask for.

Start with yourself and your respect will grow day by day. One of the most important things which you need to know is how to use NO and YES. In your mind is a list what you allow, and what is forbidden. Surround yourself with people who respect you, because respect is a chain. Once when you wear invisible crown, others will know that they can’t mess with you

business · character · control · discrimination · egoism · mobbing · moral · relations

Where is difference between good boss and dictator?

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Obligations and rights are connected. If you are obligated to do something, you have right to ask other things for return. Especially at work, workers have rights and obligations.

In generally, we are humans. If you work at office, you are educated and you deserve appropriate treatment.

Your supervisor, headmaster, boss is not a king neither dictator.

Some bosses have this kind of requests.

 

Knock at my door before you enter.

 

Check what i wrote to you, because i have no time to read what i wrote, read between lines.

 

All important places on documents should be marked with post it papers, in different colors. I have no time to read complete document.

 

Bring me coffee in the morning.

 

Can you take my bag when you are going on business meeting with me?

 

Help me with computer, i am new in this technology age, and some things i don’t know. But i am boss so why should i know?

 

I am always right, because this is hierarchy.

So let suppose that we please all this wishes. Now we need something for return.

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What we will get?

 

If you complain on your boss, go to higher boss. Higher boss will talk with your supervisor, and circle is closing. Of course, try to work harder and you will not have reason to complain.

 

If you are working on the same document or project six months, and your boss doesn’t want to accept your idea, that work will never be finished.

You must copy paste what your boss said.

 

You have problematic client? Try to be calm and reply to him or her, million times if that is necessary.

Even your client is ready for mental hospital, you must have abilities of shrink to guess his wishes.

Some bosses forgot that we live in the age of democracy.

We are not slaves. We know that nobody can’t cut our heads. Also we have brain and ideas. Just because someone is on high position, it doesn’t mean that person is the smartest and genius. It has different meaning. Boss can be person who built career on fake kindness. Right words on right time and right place and here we are. I know person who was always late at work, he had alcoholic problems. But when structure of firm changed, he was the first one who run from office to office to ask for his rights. He was orphan and victim. New people on the top trusted him so he got position as boss of the department.

If we are making mistakes we can’t judge others for the same just because our position is better.

If responsibility exist, it must be justified no matter who did wrong. We can’t punish people accord positions, so person on high level will get smaller punishment. There should not be saint cows.

Every obligation has background. Besides, how we will motivate our workers, if their salaries are small, if we don’t give them enough free days and if they must work sick or under pressure?

Underestimated person is as donkey. You can beat him, but he will still stand on one place. There authority fails, because if you don’t respect your colleague, he will not respect you either and system will fail.

anxiety · behavior · character · friendship · gossip · illusion · moral · relations

Your friend is an imitator ?

 

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Social intelligence is ability to sympathize with others, to feel their needs and to help them if you can. Selfish person is deaf on other wishes, so when you hear someone to say “What i have to do with this, this is not my concern”, you know what to expect.

This kind of ability gives you eyes wide open, and your view into world is more ample. In this case, you will be able to communicate with people from different countries and with different attitudes. It doesn’t matter is your friend gay, atheist or nigger, you love them all on equal way.

No, it doesn’t mean that you must agree with others in everything, just this time boundaries are different. So, if you feel disrespect from other side, your right is to push this person away.

Recently i saw this kind of sentence in one group at internet. Guy said: “Please add me, i need friends, i have no friends. ” This voice of despair sounds creepy, because person marked himself as loser. So the same guy started to like everyone’s post, to confirm with everything with others say, just to get their attention. Result was bad, people found him as irritating and annoying.

For sure you can remember situation from childhood, when two girls wear the same clothes, when they kiss each other in cheek and hold their hands on the street. It looks cute on first sight, but somehow artificial.

What happens when girls grow up?

One girl found boyfriend, other is still single. 

One girl move in another city.

One girl spread her circle of friends, so she is not free as before, sometimes she wish to go in cinema with other girls.

One girl became more popular.

What other girl feels?

She is abandoned.

She is angry.

She is jealous.

Other girl says : “That is not fair. We wear the same clothes, we listen the same music, we grew up together. Now she makes distance with me. But i gave her all, i always stand behind her, even when she was not so sweet and kind. ”

That is situation with copy and paste friendship. In this case, other girl lost personality. She wears the same red skirt and white blouse, but also she talks, laughs and acts on the same way as her best friend. That is point of this story, she was clone and twin, but not equal part of this friendship.

Copy paste friendships are field of risk.

If you have friend who copy your style, as in movie with Bridget Fonda, this situation is dangerous. It will turn on two ways : your friend is addicted to you because you create her or your friend hates you because she gets less attention than you.

Best friends are indeed people who are not always sweet together. They fight and argue, they have different taste and priorities, but their friendship is as chess board. Black and white, different personalities, but awesome in one mosaic. This relation is mature, because you don’t need to wear the same skirt to prove your loyalty and devotion.

cyber · discrimination · drama · erotica · illusion · jealousy · moral · passion · relations

What happens when your partner has double standards?

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Things which you allow to yourself are also allowed to others. For example, if you drink beer, you will not judge your friend because he is drinking beer. If you wear short skirt, you will not gossip your friend because her skirt reveals her underwear. We are humans, and sometimes we move our limits into unknown directions.

Double standards are the worst failures in one relation. Although you are jealous person,  it will not stop you to flirt around. Handsome colleague from work, your charming boss, your sexy neighbor, even this new salesman, they are all opportunity for flirting. Now, you have husband, and your business is to play role of private agent, by digging into his pockets. Does he cheats you? Maybe his schoolmate is also partner in his bed. He can’t do this to you. Now, when he asks you, why you are blinking to all handsome men , you will say “But that is my right.”

Things are always different from  selfish perspective. It doesn’t look such bad when you are doing something what is not appropriate. If you are boss at work and if you skip deadline because it was not your day, this is something which must be forgiven and forgotten. Well, what if your worker do the same thing? You would yell as lunatic, they would be fired without recommendations.

Where are roots of double standards?

Person is spoiled in childhood. Some parents will let all to their children, they will not have limits, as they had many toys and they took rights to play with other dolls and teddy bears, they will play with other feelings, but their space will be locked and protected.

Person is selfish. When you are selfish, you can’t feel mercy or guilt or responsibility for others. You don’t give a shit for other problems, because it is not about you.

Person is old fashioned. This happens in men world. Some men think that meaning of real man is real boss. So, he can cheat, flirt and break hearts, but his beloved wife will wait him at home, with warm dinner.

Person is coldblooded. If you are not sensitive, you will not hear what others want to say to you. You cannot feel that you harm someone, that someone is crying because of what you did. This is not a part of your program.

Double standards make confusion in every love relation. This is discrimination of rights, because one person will take everything and other half will be prisoner, in invisible cage.

When Chad and Kurt talked about some girls, they made good example of double standards.

Chad said: “Mona is a slut. She was kissing me at first date, second date i fucked her and what to do later?”

Kurt asked him: “But why did not you tell her that you don’t want this?”

Chad replied: “What, i am not crazy. I like to use sluts for hot sex. I will not marry her. If she can’t get it, she is also stupid.”

If you are victim of double standards, check your priorities. Maybe you stuck with someone who holds the key of your freedom. Now you can’t talk with friend, tomorrow you will not have permission to get out from your house, and next day your windows will be locked, for any case.

business · character · control · depression · destiny · jealousy · lies · life · loyalty · luck · relations

How to face it with treason?

Face it with treason is hard kick in the ass. That moment when you realize that trustful person is traitor, someone in your life with whom you share trust, confidence and give part of yourself is indeed mole, discovery of treason is great shock. That Caesar and Brut story can’t leave us calm.

What is treason indeed and who are traitors? 

 

Indeed, traitor is selfish person. When someone is a snitch, spy or rat, that person is selfish. It is opposite of loyalty, because when you are loyal you are thinking about your friend, you don’t want to hurt him or her, you are careful and you have balance. But indeed treason is kind of weakness, and traitor is person with a price. Now you must only find out how much that person costs.

The worst kind of treason is in the area of friendship and love. This is a story about Alice and Victoria. They were inseparable. Two different girls, as two sides of the same mirror. Alice was shy and calm, and Victoria was hot tempered and hasty, but they completed each other. Alice had ability to make Victoria calm, and Victoria taught Alice how to fight for her aims. Until the day when Alice met womanizer Peter, it was great friendship. Peter was notorious guy , he had suspicious job and many women around. At first he wanted to seduce Victoria, but she rejected him. From that day Peter was thinking only how to revenge. He seduced Alice, she was sweet and kind and ideal for role of his wife. During marriage Peter used all possible ways to separate Alice from Victoria. All attempt failed because Alice was devoted to her friend. One day Peter said that he will take vacation from his busy work so Alice and him will travel together in some foreign country. Their marriage stuck in crises and Alice was crucified, because she always wanted to see Egypt, and now she had big chance.

There was only one condition – to break her friendship with Victoria forever. After long thinking, Alice has decided. She was silent as always, she just gone with her husband on trip without notified Victoria about that. She left her short message on her door “sorry, i love him and that is impossible to have you and him, so i decided to stay with my husband.” Victoria was shocked but she could not do anything. She was waiting, because she knew that it is not over yet. After journey, Peter asked for divorce, because their marriage failed. Not because of Victoria, it was because of his wish to control everything. Alice wanted to make peace with Victoria after that, but Victoria refused her. She never forgot her best friend’s treason , because she knew that she would do it again, as her loyalty never existed.

Life will give us situations when is time to choose.

It is hard to stand between two fires. For example, boss offers promotion to you, but condition is to break connection with your cooperator, to move in another city even this will separate you from your family. Traitor is person who will sacrifice others for own sake. It is just a mask that traitor doing something for community. Neither Mata Hari, double spy, did not do anything for the sake of community.

Traitor try to sit on two chairs without fall on the floor. 

So, if someone wants to hurt you over your friends, find out who is the weak spot in your team. Who is the rat? This is point in business world, steal ideas or people from rival company , but first find weak spot. Find a traitor who will fast change sides.

behavior · character · drama · ego · flirt · freedom · gossip · illusion · relations

How to insult woman without saying a word?

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Man X is standing in front of his woman Y, while she is crying . She covered her face with palms and ask for tissue. He asked her : “Why are you crying, i did not do anything to you. ” She said: “That is problem, you did not do anything!”

Is that scene familiar to you? When men complain about moody woman’s nature, they will often say : “I don’t understand women, seems i did something wrong but i don’t know what is this. “

Do you have a feeling that your woman is sad after some time? Do you have feeling that she is asking for a fight, even you did not insult her by your words?

It is possible to hurt your woman, by not saying any word to her.

Man’s logic is concrete, 2 plus 2 are 4.  Men don’t talk behind lines, men are not enigmatic. If man likes you, you will know it, because he will not insult you and represent this as compliment. Problem is, some men are without tact or they think their behavior is normal because they are dominant gender.

Well, woman’s logic is more abstract. We will smile to hide tears. We will cry to manipulate with men, and pretend kindness if we want to get something. That is not nice, but is not new that some women forgave man’s adultery and then made revenge to him. We are sensitive, we act by intuition, and even man is nice toward us, we will discover his mask by his actions.

So, we women will be insulted by some man’s acts, which are far away from tact.

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Here are 7 situations when you will insult woman, without saying a word:

Staring at other woman.

(You see how your guy is turning head when sexy blonde is passing by you on the street.)

Ignore your requests.

(You said him not to bite his nails in publicity, not to dig nose, not to yell in front of people. He repeated this again and again. )

He forgot your birthday, anniversary, or any important date.

He went to another woman at coffee bar, without saying a word of this to you.

He did not keep your back. Someone insulted you and he did not say a word.

He did not introduce you to his family and friends, even you were dating few months.

He did not give you compliment when you have new dress, hairstyle, new shoes. 

So let me back to the scene at beginning. Even if half of you thought that woman Y is crazy, now you will wonder what X did to her with her passive behavior?

Even man could be normal at first sight, even many women can say that he is gentle, kind and decent, after knowing him better you will not agree with them. Something miss him, something what he forgot to do. He insulted his beloved woman simply with his deeds.

 

behavior · business · career · character · crises · cyber space · destiny · dreams · energy · relations

Who deserves second chance?

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Fool me once, mistake is yours. Fool me twice, or for a third time, mistake is mine. People are not robots, so everyone can do something bad to other person. No matter if you miss to do something good or you did bad thing, you made mistake. Now this is open space for another chance.

When you give another chance , your heart is opened to forgiveness. Forgive, forget and give new opportunity because we are all from flesh and blood. What is indeed second chance? This is benefit and we can’t splash it again. Inside of that second chance is also an alert , if you fool me again, this is forever.

Heart is soft and there is big space for forgiveness. Sweet words are melting poison, and person can cross us with promises and lies. Second, third or forth chance, who care, if he forgot first time, he will do it again. So, when you use second chance as expanded background for more bad activities, this happens in bad purpose.

Think about to whom you will give second chance. Will you exterminate lies and fake promises from the same person if you give this chance again?

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Heather and Mona were friends for a long time. That friendship ended up when Heather start to date with Mona’s ex boyfriend Paul. They broke up before a month, and Heather jumped into that relation without notify her friend. Mona did not accepted it well so she avoided Heather for a years. She was hurt because her heart was still suffering, and Heather put knife there with her decision to date with Paul. Few years later Heather met Mona at the street and they talked about past times. She was not with Paul anymore and she wanted another chance. Mona accepted her again, she missed her old friendship. After some time, Mona saw mysterious sms on the phone of her husband. Now she was happily married and she trusted to him. That sms was from Heather, she wanted to drink coffee with Mona’s new husband. All doubts went back. Mona kicked her out forever. Her husband denied invitation from Heather, and Mona regret why she allow to herself to mess with Heather again. She was not indeed worthy of try.

When we give someone another chance, this decision can’t develop over night. Why this person did not use first chance? Why we are now in situation that we need another proof of loyalty and devotion? It would be easier to erase this person from life, to give opportunity to someone new.

It is easier to trust someone new, because we start from the beginning. 

There are no glitch from the past. We don’t see tail from past mistakes. Man was drinking alcohol and lose his job. Now, after rehab, he start to work again, and he drink again. Maybe, under pressure of new chance, he will mistake again. Second chance can be burden for those who are starting the same path again. It is like you repeat the same class, once you failed, and you are tense because of past experiences.

If someone did mistake, think about intention behind it. Maybe that person did not know about consequences. Maybe this is just indolence. In that case we can forgive, with warning that this is the last chance.

Second chance is not invitation for third or forth chance. This is yellow card, as in football. You are still in, but if you mistake again, you are out forever.

couples · ego · jealousy · lovers · psychology · relations · romance · seduction

How to declare love without getting ashamed?

 

When pain comes out, that is easier part. You cry, scream or break plates and glasses, but this poison is far away from you and you are pure. Now this purity shines through your heart because you found a way how to throw your negative emotions. The same is with expression of love. If you said to someone i love you, no matter about answer, your conscience is clear.

What happens when you love someone who is forbidden to you? Grass is greener in other garden or your neighbor’s fruit is sweeter, so you will shut your mouth and deny your feelings, even to yourself. The same, if you think that your chances are small for any reason or if you want to date with your ex again, there is a chance to be ashamed later.

Is there a way to declare what you feel and not to get embarrassed? 

That is a cross of every man, how to tell women what they feel and not to hurt their pride. Some ways are sophisticated and their meaning is double. It helps you to save your dignity and to get positive result. If nothing else, you will get impression as cool dude.

Say it without words. Send her a photo at mobile phone. She will ask for a meaning and for a sender.

Send her romantic, mysterious message, without name. She will see number and maybe she will call you.

Help her with exam or with work project. If you shake her hand, and she hold your hand longer than it needs, she likes you.

Save her from pests and  stalkers. Girl will be grateful if you help her to get rid of annoying guy.

Borrow something from her, as an excuse. It can be CD, movie or a book. You will have reason to call her again.

Women nature is complicated. We will appreciate more if you approach to us easy, from background, because it makes guy mysterious, more interesting and harder to get. Guy who open his heart so easy is boring and women will not trust him.

For example, the same guy said to four girls that they are beautiful. Every weekend to another. They were friends, and they talked about him. His name was Roger.

  “Roger said that i am sexy. ” “Oh really, he said to me that i look so beautiful. ” “Yes, and he invited me on date, because he could not take eyes from me..at least he said this. “

As much guys have bad opinion about woman who change her sex partners, we women will think the same about man who gave a lot of compliments. Guy who sent mails on internet as chains, to all women. That guy who tag all women with word i love you. Or guy who will invite all his colleagues from work at office party, to make compliments for any of them.

Every woman wants to feel special, but also there is no woman who wish to feel as number. If you think about her all the time, let she knows. Maybe she will say no or maybe she will laugh. Maybe she will accept your love. Or maybe she will suggest you friendship.

The worst solution is to stay quiet or to date with woman who is your second choice. You will make double damage : to hurt her and to make yourself unsatisfied and frustrated.

In old times knights were fighting for honor of ladies and they even died in duel if someone offended woman of their heart. Today is no need for sacrifice, but you can use your imagination.  And remember: guy who is first, win the lady.

couples · crises · drama · dreams · ego · erotica · freedom · happiness · relations

What happens when love is not mutual?

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The basic point of every fairy tale is magic stick . If you are beautiful fairy who holds this , you can turn frog into prince, poor guy into rich guy and bad guy into good guy. That dream sounds as realization of your hopes, and some women still make fantasies to change their boyfriends or husbands. “If he could change toward my wishes, i would have easier job.” In reality, it doesn’t works , because you can’t change guy without losing his personality. Maybe he listened you and did some changes accord your wishes, but he is not the same guy you met. Now you have business with kind of zombie, lobotomized man who is not the one you loved.
Every man is made of kind of buttons. If you press his positive buttons, you will be in harmony with him. If you press negative buttons all the time, your relation is more tragedy than romance. On this way we can explain why the same man is so good accord some women, and why other women can’t stand him. Understanding and accepting is key of love, so if you love wild guys, you will accept that he needs time to be alone with  himself, even to runaway for a short to find himself again. If you use leash to slow him down, you will lose him.
Two biggest nightmares of every woman are:
1. guy i love will not give me love back
2. guy i don’t like will follow me everywhere and i will not get rid of him
If you mix this two stories in the same time, it will be black comedy. On one side, you fall for guy who never noticed you, and on the other hand, guy you don’t wish to see is always on your back. If you think that you can change situation, to force guy to fall for you, or to chill out guy not to fall for you, that is wrong way. This is trap and the best way for you is to escape from confusing situation.
Relax, it is not all black.
You will see how Brenda learnt from this two situations.
 
Brenda wanted Kevin. In this situation, Kevin was indeed on half way. He wanted Brenda, but sometimes. Brenda wanted serious relation and commitment, and she was very persistent . She called him on phone, she sent thousand messages and e-mails, she did everything to sabotage his relations with other women. At the end, Kevin runaway from this situation. He felt as prisoner, without space to decide.
Cole wanted Brenda. Now Brenda felt on her skin what happens when stalker loves you. Cole was her colleague and she was working in the same office with him. She could not talk with others without his presence, he poke nose in her work, and every lunch pause he was on her back. For the first time, Brenda saw herself in the mirror. She understood better how Kevin felt. But it was too late.
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When love is not mutual, you are in relation with zombie.
No matter are you the one who doesn’t love, or your beloved doesn’t love you, this connection is forced bond.
Try to make love with someone without feelings, you will hate yourself next morning.
Try to say i love you without spark in your heart, you will dislike yourself .
Imagine yourself in tunnel. You are walking slowly, and on the other side is your love. If you love him, and if he loves you, this meeting will be hilarious. Your heart will beat, you will lose breath, your cheeks will blush. Even you will talk as stammerer. That is love, silly and logical in the same moment.
Well, if you don’t love your boyfriend, or if your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same, you will make this relation as summary of formalities.
Fake smile, kind words, hug without heart beats. Sad situation, but some couples are that kind of zombies. They are together for wrong reasons, because they think to change situation at better point.
Artificial flowers can’t smell and grow. The same is with relation without sparks. If chemistry doesn’t exist, it will not appear from somewhere. In this case, your relation is only piece of paper.
communication · cyber space · drama · dreams · ego · envy · erotica · illusion · internet · jealousy · relations

Why women should not propose their partners?

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Not everyone is thrilled by idea of marriage. Men especially want to prolong this time, until they can. One woman since death till us apart, that sounds terrified for many men. Especially when proposal did not come from him, man will think that he lives in nightmare.
Long relations are danger zone. After 5, 10 or even 15 years, woman will ask where is she standing. Or, where this relation goes? In kind of despair, woman will get an idea to propose his man, because he did not do this. I would say, don’t do this , ladies.
Here are 5 reasons why you should not propose your man.
He will feel as half a man.
You do his tasks? You took things in your hands? Well, be sure he will not be fascinated if you buy ring and ask him : “Yes or no?”
You will lost part of your dignity.
Every woman should know when to step back. This is in that case. Instead of force your man, back off.
He might say yes, but later this will be main reason for your conflict.
“This was your idea, not mine, remember?”
His friends, mother and his ex girlfriend could laugh to you.
This kind of things always swims out. Who proposed whom? If that was you, it will be subject of jokes.
You will lose this magic moment to make him in uncertainty.
So you will not see him what he really could do if he is afraid of losing you.
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Women have vision about guy with ring who will crawl to propose them. It will not be always like this. Cool proposal, without much noise, is good way for every man who doesn’t want to sound as cuckold. Ask her is she ready to spend life with you, kiss her and wait for reply.
I understand women who were many years alone or in frustrated relations, until their friends got married. Always maid of honor, never bride. Well, you can make influence on this, but you need to know the way.
If you decided to make him rush with proposal, do it on next way.
 
 
Make it as joke.
Tell him, you look gorgeous in white dress and his mother adores you anyway. If he is silent, don’t force this conversation. He will understand the point.
Don’t go directly. Make it as indirect way to proposal.
Tell him that you got many compliments from colleague, but that you said him about your serious relation, which leads to commitment.
Make a sentence : “once when i will be married for a guy”, and wait his reaction.
Men are not blind. They understand hints and symbolic way. They pretend that they are dumb, but be sure your man knows what he should do. If he doesn’t do this, he has a reason, because he is not sure.
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What is the worst thing you can do?
This is proposal on internet. You can make yourself ashamed, because this is something what others see. It will not be erased so easy. Especially, if your man is someone you did not meet for real.
Leslie did this with Douglas. They met online, on chat. They had virtual relation for a few months, and she felt this is it. Leslie was single so many years, she had some failed relations before, and she was lady in certain ages, over 30. So, what can happen worse? She proposed him on his page. She thought, it will be cool and she will make an impression as independent woman. Ooops. Douglas said short yes, but after this, he did not talked with her. He became silent as someone who got punishment. He was little boy in the corner, terrified from his older teacher. Of course, he was younger than Leslie.
Remember, what is so cool for us women, is not the same for men. You might think you look as Cat woman, Lara Croft  or some other  action heroine who took things in her hands. In his eyes, you look as kidnapper. Someone who stole his power to decide. You deserve to go away from him.