Make choice, regret is expensive

 

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I don’t have luck. Me and my bad luck. We will say this often when nothing good happens in our life. Then, happiness will leave track. You hear someone is knocking on the door? If you don’t open, person will leave and maybe return next time. Or never. The same is with opportunities. They are here, and if you don’t use this moment, all what is left is regret.

Ivan had good chance to work in Switzerland. He was engineer and he got offer to work on project , for good salary. He was thinking because this opportunity has a price. He should move from Croatia, together with this family, and to live in Luzern. He should left his friends, parents who were old and sick and simply to start for a new life.  After many doubts he gave up. How he will leave his city, friends from childhood and how his parents will live without his visits? He had children and they used on school, how would they fit in Luzern? He stayed at his job, for average salary. After ten years, when his factory fall in debts and director announced bankruptcy, he remembered his business chance.

Similar situation made Eva to regret. She was between two men. One was handsome, with temporary job, and other was rich, less handsome but stable and with good character. She chose first. Her life with Victor was hell. He spent her money and runaway with waitress. Eva spent whole night with postcard from Filip. Meanwhile he got marry and Eva remembered her missed chance. She wanted adventure and life with Filip would be boring, accord their view. Or maybe not? She choose Victor and it was big fail.

Every choice leave consequences.

What occupation you will choose? How about your job, life partner?

Will you quit present job and ask for new?

Will you marry for that man?

You are pregnant and you don’t want to keep your baby?

Our choice will leave mark in our soul. How could it be and what would happen if you choose different? Sound of regret is very sad. Maybe you did not have guts to risk more. Maybe your sacrifice would be too big and painful.

Regret is bad follower. If you did not choose right, try to be happy with things and persons you have. You did not recognize what is good for you, so now make your choice better and live with this.

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Why are people attracted to gambling?

 

Get up early and stay at work , then repeat it until weekend. It doesn’t sound nice , isn’t it? Industrial age invented work time 8 hours, and when alarm clock rings , this sound is worse than any bad songs you listened during your life. So, thoughts about easy money are present in your mind, you would sell soul to devil just to stay in bed. That is how average person lives, work for money.

One day i was walking in the street and two pretty girls gave me free tickets for casino. It was promo ticket and i went there to taste luck. I did not win, but they wake up my curiosity so next time i came with my money and won. During seven years i was winning and losing , depends of luck. I don’t have debts but i heard about people with bad destiny, who get into troubles because of pathological  gambling. I heard about neighbor who lost flat because he had no money to return. I heard about man who spent social recompense for his children, all on poker table. I heard about other man, who never came back in his country, because somewhere in overseas he lost huge money in casino.

Why are people attracted to gambling?

Escape from routine. 

When you spent all day in office to earn 30 EURO daily, your sight is focused on machine which can bring you jackpot. Sit half hour and you might earn more money than whole month. The same, you can lose your salary for half hour. This is risk and if you feel your heart is beating, you are addicted.

Possibility to meet interesting people.

For sure, in casino is always something happening. You can meet even celebrities . You can get advices how to gamble. Also you can share experiences.

Tournaments.

Many casinos have organized tournaments with rewards for the most successful players.

Last time you won.

That is how story starts. You won when you were there and now you want to win again. Or, someone else won and you are hoping that is your turn.

Last time you lose.

If you lost money, you wish to get it back. And how you will return money, if you don’t play again?

You are depressed or sad.

This game will raise your blood pressure. If you get money, you might forget reason why you are sad. Alert, if you lose money, you will get out from there with more anger than you get in.

No matter do you play on slot machines, roulette or poker, your intentions are to get money. It means, you are player. There are also other kind of people, observers. These are the worst. I remember woman who sit next to me , with cigarette in her mouth and tried to talk while i was gambling. She was not there to join, she wanted to see how others lose money and to disturb. So i said to her to go in coffee bar for chat.

You will easy recognize players who are not only observers. 

They never talk with you. They are focused on their game.

They play sometimes on few machines. Automatic button is turn on, so they wish to increase their odds to win more money.

Sometimes they are swearing , it means they are losing. 

They knock on machine, for luck. They play with smallest coins, just to be there. It means they already lost much.

If you see someone who is bragging about big amount of money, be sure that he lost a lot before. That is darkness of gambling, you will lost much money before you win. You will win and then it will not be enough, so you will play and then lost. Once, when debt is here, you will start to make plan B. Maybe you did not eat because you need money for gambling? You did not go to hairdresser because this time you feel lucky?

Gambling is one of sins. If you are minor, gambling is forbidden to you and owner of casino will pay big money if minors are gambling there.

Even this addiction is invisible, gambling is red apple with worm inside. When you drink, you feel dizziness. If you smoke, you will start coughing. If you eat too much, you will feel sickness. Well, when you are gambling, there are no signs of alert, just your empty wallet. Then you will start to ask people to lend you money. Then you will sell some jewelry because you need money for one more time.

Gerard Piquet, famous Spanish footballer has habit to gamble. If he lose money, he will not feel sad, because he has more than enough. When ordinary person lose money, trouble is here. Everywhere in casino are warnings about influence of gambling.

Gambling is somewhere between hell and paradise. Losers are in hell, and winners in paradise. If you once won and then lose , you are in purgatory. You will for sure back again in the game.

Are you grateful for the things you have?

 

 

Are you grateful for the things you have in your life? I don’t think about furniture or new plates, i think about your private and professional life. Sometimes, we forget to save gratitude in our heart because our mind is too busy by dreaming about something we still did not realize.

Gradation looks like this:

I don’t have boyfriend.

I have boyfriend but we are not married.

We are married but we don’t have kids.

We have only one child.

Our kid is not obedient, we have problematic teenager.

In professional plan, we can use same pattern:

I am studying and i don’t have job.

I have job but my salary is small.

I have good salary but i have no free time.

I have job but my boss is dictator.

It is about human nature, where all are rivals, competitors and opponents. Why your neighbor owe expensive car, and you are going at work with bus? Why your kids can’t have designers clothes? Why your friend has bigger flat then you?

We are dreaming because of our ambitions. It is not bad, i am also ambitious person. I think i deserve much more than i have in the moment. Just, also as other people, i am ungrateful. The root of happiness is in gratitude, and sometimes i forget how lucky am i to have things other people don’t have. I am healthy, but i was paying attention to my health only when doctor said to me to do blood analysis. Then, waiting with other patients in emergency, i felt gratitude when i got my results. Before that, i imagined all possible negative stories in my head. Later i was drinking, in the name of health.

So, this is key of human gratitude, that we appreciate something when our ground can slip under our feet. Simply, you have boring husband, you are arguing with him often, and one day you see him to talk so friendly with some other woman. Then you start to think, why i am so ungrateful? Or, you are struggling with your work, but one day new intern come to take your place and you start to fight for your position, like you wake up from dream?

That is why we should not sleep with open eyes. I am grateful even if i want more. Why rich people get on lottery? Because they are not in frequency of despair, they know it is possible to win money.

Today i will be grateful cause sun appears here , there is no flood, earthquake or hurricane. This is feeling of happiness, when you breath on fresh air and walk free.

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Are you cautious person?

When you get burn, you will blow on cold. Bad experience is alert, and your red alarm will open light anytime when troubles are on the way. This is kind of warning, don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Even repeating is mother of knowledge, if we stuck in the same traps, we are wasting our time. How do you feel screwed from the same person or with same situations again? Like fool.

Roxanne learnt from past experiences. She had violent boyfriend and her blue eye or broken nose were reminders. Many time she justified how she hit into door or how clumsy she was , but once when she get out from this, apologies were unnecessary. Her next boyfriend try to hit her during conflict, and she left him another day.

Somehow, when we pass through boomer situations, next similar event will cause our flash back. I was hitchhiking and i had unpleasant experience, so there is no chance that i would do it again. It was before 10 years or more, and i surprise to myself how i was brave or foolish. Then i lost fear, but now i got warning. This happen in maturity, when you start to feel that is not recommended to put yourself into troubles, if there is easier way to solve problems.  Playing role of hero is not always brave act, sometimes is stupid. If you see that two men are in street fight, will you involve into this if you don’t know them? If you don’t want to be damaged, better not.

When we are careful, we will protect ourselves.

What does it mean?

Sometimes you will refuse to help your friend because it is against your interests.

Sometimes you will not give second chance to people who hurt you already.

Sometimes you will give up from some opportunity, for the sake of someone else. You like this guy, but you are not single so you will not accept his invite for dating.

 

When you are careful, it doesn’t mean that you afraid of risk or that you are closed in the box. Simply, you need time to think about and reconsider this offer. If you think that is smarter to stay away, do it. People can say : “You are coward.” That is not true. For example, i don’t want to travel alone in foreign country to meet with stranger who invite me from internet. I am just careful.

Some battles are not worthy of fight, others need time and adjustments, and sometimes is the biggest victory to stay calm until storm pass. That is difference between childish behavior and maturity. Kids never think about consequences, and mature persons will have kind of Libra, to think about good and bad sides of the same situation.

If we accept everything what this life offers, it is like we are walking around with binding eyes. We can crash with bad people if we act like blind mouses. Careless person is like bat, flying around until she hit into wall.

Our inside alarm should be always turn on. Look at this red button , this is your alert, that you are not doing something right.

What happens on date from nightmare?

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It is first date and you want to hear good impression about yourself. Think before speak, and when you speak behave yourself. It is very different situation when you sit in front of person which you don’t know well. You can use profanity if you meet with your best friend because he got used to it. Well, if you say “hello hootie” to girl on first date, you will be labelled as jerk. In this case girl might feel cheap or as your number, and you sound as someone without manners.

Young guys are often not aware that girls are sensitive, and what sounds as joke could be bad echo in their ears, as mocking.

What she doesn’t want to hear?

– you look fat in this skirt

– these boots look cheap

– there is something in your breath, did you eat garlic for dinner?

– you remind me on my ex girl

– can you pay this bill, i have no enough money for tonight

Also, girls sometimes not understand that man is not their therapist, mother or shoulder for crying.

 


What he doesn’t want to hear?

I have so painful period, i bleed so much.

– Do you like my makeup?

– What type of car you drive? 

– My ex boyfriend is here, i feel so nervous.

– Do you think i am pretty?

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This is story from real life.

Sandra and Darren went to date and he took her out of the city. This was small coffee bar with so loud folk music that she did not hear what he is talking. They waited for a waiter for a half hour and they were not alone, because Darren met his best friend with girlfriend so they shared table with them. That girl provoked Sandra that Darren is indeed womanizer and that he will not be faithful to her. She said she was joking, but Sandra felt very unpleasant.

Second date never happened.

If you wish to avoid date from nightmare:

be alone with your partner

– don’t talk about ex 

– try to choose quiet place 

– focus on her or him

– don’t look at your cell phone every 10 minutes

– don’t stare in every good looking person around

You want to arrange second date, isn’t it? Think about things you said because first date can be the last if you do many mistakes.

Some people are flexible and they will forgive mistakes, but next time they will look at you with doubts. First impression doesn’t come twice and you can’t fix it. You might learn what you do wrong, so next partner will have more luck.

Do you recognize rejection from cold-warm strategy in romance? (for men)

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Role of hunter is not grateful position. Men are by nature leaders, and from them is expected to do first steps. Especially, if they wish to get certain woman, they must be ready for everything, from gentle rejection until harsh kick in the butt. As much real man will take leash in his hands, he will also know when to back off, and when is time to stop with his attempts.

Unfortunately, some guys are not so wise to recognize real rejection from warm-cold strategy. This is also women fault, so women will play and make fool of men in some situations.

How to separate real rejection from warm-cold strategy?

If woman is interested for you, and she is not yet sure, she will give double signs.

She will say no if you invite her for date, but her next sentence will be : “Maybe next time, i will let you know.”

She will let you to follow her into her street, but she will not invite you in her flat.

She will talk with you, but you will not get permission to kiss her.

She will even sleep with you, but next day she will be unavailable.

She will delete you from Facebook but she will not block your page. Just , for any case, she may expect your message.

If woman is not interested for you, she will not give you any chance to repeat your questions about her and you.

If you call her, she will block your number.

If you send her message, she will block your page.

Follow her, she will call her friends for help. 

She will appear with another man in front of your eyes if you are annoying. This is very clear sign.

If you try to kiss her, she will push you away. Alert, here you are in danger zone. She can slap you.

Some men are not gentlemen and they don’t accept other choices. Real gentleman will accept word no with silence and dignity. This man will not make you troubles. Also, you might sorry because he will never disturb you later. He asked you once , you denied, and he gone. Your problem is another man, called jerk. Jerk will chase you and spread gossips. Jerk will tell you that you are whore, fat or short, and that you are ugly. All because you did not want to date with him.

The worst follower of rejection is denial. If you deny to yourself that person rejected you, if you repeat her words and ask some hidden meaning, you are on wrong path. Some guys think : “She said no? Maybe she is shy? Or her friends talked bad about me? Maybe she is not ready today, but i can wait. ”

Delusional guys are often jerks. They can’t admit to themselves that some women don’t accept them. They must learn how to accept negative answers. Until then, such men will hunt in blurry zone.