When you will put your hand on fire?

 

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Charles Darwin said : “Only the strongest survive.” What happens with people who are not so strong , will they vanish ? That kind of people deserve good defense. As lion will defend lioness, in human blood is to protect children and others who can’t stand for their rights alone.

What would you do for your dearest friends, brothers, sisters, and for your sweetheart if someone tried to hurt them? I believe, as much you despise violence , you would to everything to protect them from evil.

When i was little girl, i went with my younger sister in park, at playground. There was swing  and she was swinging . She was 4 years old, and i was 8. Suddenly, older boy came and start to push her, he wanted to swing too. I was afraid that she will fall and hurt herself, so i slapped him into face with fist. He pushed me, but i was so furious that i was punching him with all my strength so he started to cry from fear. I was little monster, and my father came to separate us. That boy never approached to me after this.

Now i am thinking on this way. I don’t afraid for myself because i am enough strong to resist to every threat. I afraid for people who are close to my heart. I believe that many people think on this way, because it is much easier to take care for yourself than for others. That is responsibility. You know yourself, you will get up after fall , you will arise from the dust. How it will be with others? Look at behavior of duck. She fly around to pull attention on herself, to protect  little ducks in the case of attack of wild animals. That is her instinct for survival, she will rather sacrifice herself for the sake of her little family.

Real face of friends and enemies is revealed when they are in danger. 

Mafia association is established on this basic rule: “once when you join to us , there is no way back, just in coffin. ” So they will hurt you and members of your family. If you drag your beloved people in your troubles, it will hurt you more than own death.

You will also guess thinking of kidnappers: “I want  money of this rich man and i will ask for big ransom, i will take away his daughter or son.”

Our beloved people are our Ahil’s feet. Everyone has a price, and once you press red button, that person is in your power.

 

If you are devoted person, this is your advantage because people can count on you. You are diamond treasure, so your friends are under your shelter. Bad side of this value is that someone can use your devotion in bad purposes, to take an advantage. Don’t be action hero for someone who doesn’t deserve this, there is no sense to put hand in fire for insignificant person. People who interfere in street fights are not always clever, they can get out with broken nose, and others will not say even thanks.

After all, devotion is protected and authorized. Not everyone is able to reach this, but those who have it, are lucky. It is nice when you are connected with someone who will put hand on fire for you .

Now, what do you think, who is worthy that you risk for him? Or, did you regret because you put hand on fire for wrong person?

Thank you 600 followers

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Before i continue with new posts, i wish to say thanks to my followers. Thanks for your attention, comments, suggestion and inspiration.

I am not typical blogger, i don’t write kind of diary as ” i had this for breakfast” cause i am not Beyonce that someone would be interested for that. I write stories from my experience and always protect my sources. Also, i don’t like when someone put link under my blog, i will always moderate this because i think promotion is good only when is allowed. If i want to follow your blog, i will do it by myself, i don’t need push button. Also i never put my links on other blogs, unless is theme about promoting blogs.

I like constructive comments, critics, also i comment under blogs which got my attention. Here are wonderful bloggers, it is also inspirational sourcing for me, cause i can learn a lot from other bloggers, especially cause English is not my mother tongue and i do mistakes in spelling or grammar. What i would never do, to hire professional translator. That would not be me. Also i am not expert for psychology and i would never interfere into professional area, to give some expert advices. My profession is law and i have rich life experience, so what i write, i write from my heart.

I hope my number of followers will increase more with time, and i wish you great inspiration on this start of new week.

How much expensive are your mistakes?

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We are born clumsy. You try to walk and you will fall. Try to swim and you will swallow water. Your heart will skip beat from fear that you can get drown.
Nobody learnt everything about life immediately, in the first moment. Some people are learning fast, others are behind them. What is in common,  people are not robots and not perfect. This means, we will do plenty of mistakes on every fields.
I remember when i wanted to learn typing on keyboard with 10 fingers. This skill of typing i needed to make my job easier. I was in mess and very slow. Later it was very useful  so it saved my time.
Mistakes are part of your life. Who will  learn, work and participate in anything can’t avoid mistakes. What is bad is judgment and contempt.
Oh, you are retarded. You don’t know this? How you don’t know simple and basic things?”
Every skill starts with mistake. You will eat bitter meal when you are cooking for a first time. You will stand on foot of your partner when you try to dance. Also, if you are learning other language, you will do mistakes with grammar and spelling.
Some people are talented for particular fields. This talent is something born with them. Sergej Jesenjin was wonderful Russian poet. Isidora Duncan was dancer. Maria Callas was singer in opera. They had special gift and they used it.
Problem is when someone is pushed into fields where he doesn’t belong.
We can’t all be familiar and celebrities. Sound of bad voice or clumsy dancing will cause laugh and mocking. Such persons are inspiration for  stand up comedy from their attempts. We must know where we are standing and not to make shame from our attempts.

What is important, if we want to progress we must keep trying. If you never try, how will you know what is your limit? Also, if you give up after few mistakes, you are indeed weak. Cry because you got bad mark? Fall in depression because your boss yell on you? Someone spit on your work? Well, deal with this as with challenge. Show them that you can.

The basic of every success is – learn from your mistakes. Update your masterpiece with this mistakes. Mistakes are warning and lessons, if you can listen and hear their message you got the score.
People who never learnt from their mistakes are still in stand by and pending position. They are frozen because they gave up or did not know what to do next.

When he thinks that you are undesirable chick

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It is big humiliation for woman when guys take an advantage of her. Any woman doesn’t like to be used as piece of flesh. Imagine that you love someone so much, and all what you got is trade of fluids. So if you are man, and you ask woman : “Do you want to have sex with me?”, think about who is she and what she means to you.
As much any woman despise to be a number in big chain of sexual partners, there is something worse. If woman feels that guy doesn’t desire her, she will be frustrated too.
So now guys are in confusion, what women really want?
 
This is a story about Helen. When she was young, all guys from her city were crazy for her. Blonde, blue eyed and tall woman was their Barbie girl and she changed many sexual partners. She was hungry for men and they were thrilled by this. Later she got married and had two daughters. Years and life ruined her good look, she got diabetes and her body changed. Suddenly she was too skinny, too wrinkled and her blue eyes got dark shine, and bags were visible from the far. Her husband lost interest for her and she caught herself hungry for hot love. She tried to find a lover, but it was not simple as she taught. Men were looking at her young daughters, because Helen was over 50. The other men, who wanted her, were too old or not on her taste. Also, she was married women and nobody wanted problems. So one day Helen got idea to make profile at internet. She posted her photos from youth, and bunch of young guys followed her.
Helen had success in cyber sex and she changed many partners. But soon she got bored to everyone. It was not easy, because guys wanted to see younger women. Helen fall in trap and fall in love in guy who was 15 years younger than she. Barry was sweet guy from Scotland. He accepted her as friend and he even had funny time with her, because Helen still had this young spirit. But soon she became obsessive and Barry got mad. When she opened camera, he was definitely disappointed. He saw older woman in untidy clothes, too skinny and with bad teeth. She reminded him on his granny. So he said to her to leave his virtual life. She disturbed to his other friends too. Finally, he blocked her page and she learnt lesson on harder way.
How horny woman feels when she can’t get man in her bed?
She is nervous and jealous on her competition.
 
She will spread her negative energy at work. Not without reason, some women often make jokes about female bosses. They say: “For sure she did not shag too long.”
 
She will quick try to find partner, just to improve her attraction. 
 
She will make her standards lower. Now she will give chances to someone who was not her choice before.

Meaning of sex is different for women. 

We give part of us to special man, we share our private secrets. Rejection is kick for ego and for heart. Woman will stand in front of mirror and think what is wrong with her, especially if she is in certain ages. Suddenly, she will feel ugly. She will hate young girls who can chose anyone.

In this situation, every woman should have dignity. If you go out with young cousin or younger friend, be ready that men will compete for her attention, not for yours. If you try to push yourself in center or if you insult your friend, this is wrong step.  As sport tournaments have competitors, you are now in senior race. You can do your best and ask for your match.
Smart woman will never stay without her admirers. You know where is your place, that you will not catch Leonardo di Caprio , but it is not end of the world, for sure it is not worthy to sacrifice your pride. There is no bigger fool than old woman who is catching young guy. As in movie “Bel ami”, where Robert Pattinson rejects Kristin Scott Thomas , with explanation : “I was sick when i touched you. “, and she is crying for his young lover even she is married a long time ago.

The most desirable women are mysterious. 

They don’t offer body to everyone and in every opportunity. They smile, give hint and go to save their time. They will say word with double meaning, and if guy doesn’t understand, he is a moron. And, who wants to make love with moron?

How to recognize drama queen?

 

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Life will punish us with bad experiences on one way or another, but our reactions are not the same. Some of us will keep problems inside, suffer quietly and nobody will know about this. Others will yell and notify world about their “tragedies”, as it is event number one.
If your better half is drama queen, you are victim of emotional flood and every word you say can be understand on wrong way.
“Why you look at me like that? My haircut is bad? Oh i know i look fat in this trousers. But you should tell me this into face. “
 
Clint was in relation with Sandra and he was walking on the ice all the time. Few times she embarrassed him in publicity because she could not hide her moods. She was witch with broomstick and her friend circle was very small.
Drama queen is usually woman, but also some guys are very good in that.  It happens especially if there is connection with their career and promotion. Gordon got new job and his boss was harsh with him first few days. He complaint to Union after few weeks, even he was new in that workplace. He left very bad impression on others, because it was something what people remember. This drama king could not stay quiet even when he changed job.
Internet is great place for drama queens. See what happens when someone is angry and wish to delete page.
“I am sad. Someone piss me off so badly. Sorry people i am going. Forever. Go to hell.”
After this, the same person opens fake page or watch around for reactions. This kind of person wish to die, but also she wants to be notified who will come at her funeral. Wow, so much people. What, nobody care? Bastards and idiots never cared for me.
Drama queen could be easy recognized in 5 characteristics.
Immature person who cries for everything. Bad mark at school, bad day, broken nail.
 
She likes to gossip, because there is seed of possible drama.
 
She is never quiet. If she doesn’t cry, she laughs loudly.
 
If she has boyfriend, everyone knows about this in next 24 hours.
 
She is author of haunt stories. She lives life with full lungs, but also she imagine things and exaggerate with details.
Drama queen never heard for balance. So if you wish to get rid of her, don’t show any reactions. This movie you don’t want to see, and she needs audience.

When you are not his first choice

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Cupid arrows are cruel tools. They will hit us straight into the heart and we will expect to get love back. What happens when sparks come just from one side?

World is full of wrong choices and discarded people. It happens even to the best. It is wrong thinking that you will be rejected because you are ugly, poor, not educated and not so smart. You can be the shiniest star, but still you can suffer because of wrong choice.

Usually, when women reject their fans, they do it gentle. We have fragile heart and we will feel sorry for a guy, but we will say decently “you are not what i need.” Only if guy is really violent and pushy, we will reject him on harsh way, because sometimes kindness is not enough to stop some people.

Men are different. Some men are indeed gentlemen and they will deny women with smile and words “sorry you are wonderful, but i am not interested.”. But, in men nature is that they don’t like too long explanations. Men will act short, with few words. “No, this girl is not for me, i am not into her.”

Problem exist when man is indeed unpleasant and vulgar. Such men don’t respect even own mother. Primitive men will reject women with vulgar words, but that will talk a lot about them, not about rejected women. This is example when guy will spit on love letter he got from some girl, when he will laugh on her poem which was made for him, and also when he will show her photos to his friends  and make bad jokes about them.

You fall in love in wrong guy? Be careful, men world is cruel. Especially now days. Some men will use women only for sex, because they want to fill their desires, but nothing more than that. After that you can expect everything. Video on internet, naked photos, rumors about your skills in bed. Men can even use your female friends against you.

Women will ask, but why he doesn’t want me, and why he is so harsh with me? 

Sean and Thalia were couple for a two years. Thalia was pretty, smart, sexy, educated and she was popular in her friend’s circle. She was hot tempered, but it was part of her charm. Sean was old fashioned guy, with double moral standards. He let himself to use women around and to treat them as things, but he judged Thalia because she was not virgin when she met him. She was star in every company, hilarious and world woman, she traveled around and enjoyed in new experiences. He was guy who like to spend night in front of television, in circle of his relatives and he built wall against anything new in his life. With time, he got jealous on her, not just because he was insecure that she could cheat him, it was because she got attention anywhere where she appeared, her mind was open and strong. He was as little peasant lost in big city. Some Thalia’s friends even laughed to him and they were so surprised how they ended up together.

When he broke relation, Thalia cried all day. She did everything to make him happy. She spent every moment with him. When his little niece was sick she got free day from work just to be with him as support. She defended him in front of people who did not like him. All was in vain.

As Thalia’s friend said : ” Dear, why you offered him Mercedes, when he like his Mini Morris? He is as Mr Bean, maybe little more handsome.”

So, if you think that successful and pretty women are not unhappy in love, you are wrong. Love will not spare you troubles even if you are Pamela Anderson, Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Anniston. They were also rejected because they were not first choices or for some other’s reasons.

You can offer stars and jewels to your man, but if he will not open you door when you are going out from his car, he is not worthy of efforts.

Some other men would show you the world, just to pay attention to them.

What we say in silence?

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I am talkative person, but once when i get silent, i can be numb forever. With years i learnt about power of silence, especially in situation when someone hurts you. Before i thought that silent people are weak and fragile, and i underestimated silence as tool of cowards.

Recently one person hurt me. We were close friends, i gave him my trust, loyalty and confidence. He mixed this gifts with toys, and he acted like kids with borrowed dolls, he broke it. We had conflict , lot of insults were in the air, and it finished with silence from my side. I used silence and ignorance as my answer, because it would be endless conflict. Simply, i decided to finish this story with my poker face, while insults dropped as raindrops , i was standing and smiling in the storm of bullets.

I know i won and this is what i said in my silence:

I am busy with my success and i have no time for your frustrations.

I am busy with people who love me, and i don’t have time for people who hate me.

I burnt this bridge, why you still walk on remains? 

I am on my throne so high that i can’t see you, so i can’t hear you very well too.

What i got with my silence?

Peace. I don’t think about his insults because i don’t interact with him anymore.

Freedom. I don’t think what he said, so it gives me space for valuable thoughts.

Smile. I know he can fall very low so i turn his insults into bad jokes.

I know this is not the end and he can appear somewhere to continue our conflict. In this case, i have bulletproof wall. It is better to hit knife in open target, than try to break the wall.

Person who can’t say magic words : i am sorry, thanks for being in my life, forgive me is not a gentleman.

This is just narcissist who asks for applause and audience who will obey to him. This  is not matter anymore, because i learnt magic power of silence.

10 ways how to test your trust in people

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It is very easy to get fooled. Someone cheated you, you are misguided? Don’t blame yourself, it could happen to everyone. Difference is in way, how to get out from this and avoid future disappointments.

Naivete is sign of trust, just in extreme form. If you believe in everything, you are naive.

Life would be boring without risks. If you are too cautious, you step into paranoid area. Wow, everyone is against me, i am on black list and for sure this is again my bad luck. On that way, you close yourself into golden cage, and nobody could harm you. How to open your soul to others? Who can make guarantee that you will find treasure, and that you will not stuck in the trap?

Here are the most often traps for naive people, and you are not the only one who will fail. 

1. salesman and his skills 

You bought something what is not necessary and you spent big money, because salesman persuaded you in value of his products? Look at your wardrobe, there are dresses you will never wear. Here is jewelry without values, fake pearls and cheap necklace, but it looks good on first sight.

2. big chance for easy money

Many advertising about earning big money on easy ways fooled many people. Everyone will think “but i will be the one who will really earn.”

3. masters of tarot, black magic, love spells

This woman saw that you will get marry next year? You are still single but you gave her 100 euro? You are not first and not the last.

4. virtual marriage proposal

Your prince charming promised you to get marry and then he disappeared after you lend him money? Call someone who have similar experience.

5. big lottery won, roulette, slot machines

Las Vegas, Monte Carlo, expensive casinos over the world, and everyone dream about jackpot. You think you are the one who will win? But others think about this too.

6. meeting with agent who promised you to make star from you

You want to be famous and this man promised you this? Suddenly you are victim of human trafficking, porno industry or you simply got fooled. You enter into twilight zone.

7. online shopping

Cruel stats and numbers are black evidence, how many people get fooled with online shopping. Empty pockets and wallets are reality.

8. liberty movements, sects

You wish to escape from reality, and spiritual person promised you better world? Suddenly, you are without passport and money, but you are member of sect and they can do with you whatever they want.

9. politicians promises

You are member of political group and they promised you good job, when they win on elections. Nothing for you, still? Keep searching.

10. pills for losing weight

You paid big money to lose your weight, but you are even more fat than before? At least, your wallet is thin.

Everyone who wants success in life must develop sense for reality.

It doesn’t mean that you need to give up from dreams and hopes, but you need info. Numbers don’t lie. If 90% people slip in some area, will you enter into 10% who did not? Maybe your neighbor won on the lottery, but it doesn’t mean that you are next. Your cousin got married for rich man after they know each other 2 months? She got luck, but exceptions doesn’t make rules.

Big decisions are investments. First you need to study your situations, otherwise you will buy cat in the bag. There is no guarantee that you will protect yourself from bad surprises, but at least don’t jump on first offer. Also, if you did mistake, your knowledge will help you to get out faster from this. If you see cat in the bag, throw this bag and runaway.

He doesn’t care about your past if he is into you

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One of the most salty questions between women is about their sexual status. If you ask women do they masturbate mostly will say no and hide it from publicity. If you ask them about their fetish they will cover mouth with hand and say no. If you ask them are they promiscuous they will also say no. Here i am talking about representative , average woman as example . I was talking with many women on internet, from different countries, and despite of feminism, mostly women will not talk about their privacy unless they trust you as best friend.

If you ask women are they easy or hard target, of course every woman will say that she is not easy to get. What is the point is not their level of surrender, because in some stage of life every woman will obey to one man or to make something stupid which is not for bragging about. Being easy or hard don’t make differences, the point is how much you can hold to yourself.

If you think that being unavailable makes you hard target, or that being wild makes you easy, you are in deep illusion.

Let’s see in this example. Celia is a virgin, 35 years old. Accord her religious beliefs and traditional values in her family, every woman who sleeps with man who is not her husband is dirty woman. She finds them as easy and filthy. Celia is pure and she waits for her man, also her taste is very high, so she wants to get rich man, handsome as model, gentleman who will be faithful to her. She was not without admirers cause she is not ugly, indeed she is cute average woman. What was her failure, she is not interesting catch for man’s population on the way she wanted to be. She was dating with men but they can’t touch her properly. She runs even from kiss. Her heart was broken because she did not want to sleep with her big love, so he went to have sex with another woman. Celia said ” look at me, i am hard woman, i will wait for my husband and then i will sleep with him. ” Until now, there is not candidate for her. What she did was considered as hard, but her mind was very easy. A man promised her to visit her and get marry with her. He was from another country. He did not show up even she was waiting for him. Her virgin’s mind made her as easy target for illusions, as hard target for sex adventures.

There we got to another question, what is easy, and what is hard?

Hard targets are not by default virgins, religious women, those who are rigid and unavailable for men. They could be frustrated, but not so hard.

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Real hard target is this woman:

She has attitude. If you betray her, she might sex with you, but you will get dumped after this.

She is loyal. If she chose you, she will not chase another man. She expects the same from you.

She is silent and keep your secrets and trust.

She will reject other men.

Level of easy is not tightly connected with physical touch. You might see innocent virgin who is flirting with men and don’t give chance to anyone because she is playing. You might see promiscuous woman who will stand by side and wait for the right man. When some woman is yelling : “No, he will not get me, i am not a whore. ” , there is a doubt that she doesn’t stand by her attitude. If you know you are not easy, why to prove that and to whom?

In this relations the main role is in intuition. Your availability depends on your inner voice. If you feel that man is into you, that you can trust him and that he returns you love, it will not be important what you do for him. You can sleep with him and say goodbye if you don’t feel good, that will not make you cheap. You can call him and say that you want him and you will see in his eyes how much is good this idea.

Here is statement of one man , who said the point: “My girlfriend, i was expecting that she will jump into bed with me first week. I know she was with many men after me, but she did not sleep with me 3 months. I would not change my opinion even if she did it anyway, because i liked her at first sight. It was something in her wilderness which made me impressed. “

 

Likability – 3 reasons why people like you

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Recently i had quarrel with my office mate. She said that everyone at my workplace hate me. I almost cried from laugh, because i am not important boss and i don’t bring crucial decisions that everyone would dislike me. Hate is strong feeling, and when someone hates you, this means that person is afraid of you, wants to be like you or simply, you have something what that person could not have. I said on diplomatic way, that i came there to earn money, not to love or hate people. For me, they are blank and i will be nice to everyone because this is my professional duty. Maybe i sound cold, but i am really not interested about their children’s poop, their problems with coughing or husbands who snores all night.

This brings me to next question, why some people try to force other’s empathy or love? Why they are desperate for likability, and what is this, indeed?

Remember your childhood, when you first time felt that your peers dislike you. Did you fit in? Maybe naughty girl destroyed your favorite doll or nasty guy hit you with ball into face, so you came at home with tears in your eyes. As teenager, maybe girls laughed to your pimples or you have been considered as nerd. As workmate, maybe you tasted bitter insults because you wear wrong clothes, you are not kind or you radiate on negative way.

So, if you are not miss or mister of popularity, should you buy shotgun and shot into your head? Maybe you try to get what indeed attract people and why someone is having huge number of friends, and you are bohemian soul.

I see three kinds of likability:

Artificial likability. 

If you are famous, not everyone is your friend. They will follow you cause you are popular. How many sincere smiles and words are on your side? Many of this things are fake, because you are rich and successful. Today they admire to you, next day they will laugh to you.

Forced likability.

If you watched war movies directed by Clint Eastwood, you will remember soldiers who sow fear. Tough general is in the center of likability, but this likability is based on fear. In the case of defeat, someone will shot him.

Spontaneous likability.

This is the best form , because people love you for what you are. You are not dependable of their opinions, you don’t ask nothing from them, but they simply love you, because your independence inspires them.

Recently i was talking with psychologist on his blog page and he asked people what is likability, how they see this value. He said that such person has deeper insight of life than in mainstream media. This brings me to next conclusion : how much internet force people to be likable for each other? When you see desperate teens seeking for likes who can’t move eyes from their cell phones, in expecting of notifications on social media, are they desperate? Or, this is just sheep race, because her classmate got 30 likes for profile photo, and she is not so popular?