Relation with teddy bear

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Responsibility is follower of maturity. If you are responsible, you know everything about obligations and how to deal with this. Your immaturity will hurt people even without your intentions, because they expected something from you.
Love doesn’t know for numbers and years, but heart feels immature actions. This clumsy guy left mark in your heart, because he doesn’t know how to deal with responsibility, he was immature. Problem is, women are often more mature then men. That is why older woman will have problems in relation with younger men, they are on different levels. So when women complaint that their heart is bleeding, often man is not bad, he is immature. There is a quote, if you lay in bed with kiddo, he will pee in your sheets.
So that is why we can say that immature actions are childish, without responsibility, even without thinking about consequences.
Which are signs that you are in relation with brat?
He did not came on date, even you had deal.
 
He got late on date, more than 15 minutes.
 
He talk about his previous sexual experiences, you know every dirty detail about him and his ex.
 
He is with you, but every time he is watching other women, and even comment without shame how sexy they are.
 
He talks about sex with you in front of his friends.
 
His friends don’t like you, so he wants to hide you to avoid fights with them.
 
He doesn’t want to introduce you with your parents.
 
He said he is not ready for serious relation.
 
He said that you are fat or old, without thinking that will hurt you.
 
He said that skirt doesn’t fit you or that you are dressed like whore.
 
He is yelling on you in publicity, he said to you to shut up in front of people or he doesn’t allow you to express your opinion about some topics.
 
He expects that you will pay his drinks, he forgot your birthday and never bought you gifts.
 
Some things will come later. Boy will learn about behavior through many relations with other girls. First girlfriend will be as experimental rabbit, and possible errors will affect on her. Melisa and Raul were dating in high school. They were hitchhiking together because he was not driver, and he had no car. Nothing was hard for Melissa, he loved him, even he was 2 years older. Later, when they broke up, Raul was 21 and Melisa 23. He started to drive car and his new girlfriend Elsa was with him in the moment when Melisa was on bus station, waited for a bus. They saw her and they passed by the road with laugh. Elsa was so nasty that she shown her middle finger to Melissa. Melissa was hurt but indeed it was childish act.
When you are in relation with immature person, you are passing period of adjustment. 

It’s up to you will you wait him until he grows up or you will leave. He simply doesn’t know that something can hurt you, no matter is this lack of attention, inability to listen your problems or something bigger. Woman must be patient in such relation and also very flexible. After breakup, women will say that they don’t want to be nannies anymore or that they were wearing trousers in this relation. Older woman and younger man are in relation mother-son, if age difference is too big. She is working already, and he is still student . She wants kids, and he wish to go to parties with friends. That are huge differences. This is situation when you are dancing, and he stands on your feet, because he is clumsy.

If such couple is enough strong and patient, and if they really love each other, they must work on relation, they will have mutual progress together. This relation will develop with years or they will split. In any way, relation without responsibility is as artificial flower. It looks like flower, but smell is not here.

Woman as proposer – 5 reasons against

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Not everyone is thrilled by idea of marriage. Men especially want to prolong this time, until they can. One woman since death till us apart, that sounds terrified for many men. Especially when proposal did not come from him, man will think that he lives in nightmare.
Long relations are danger zone. After 5, 10 or even 15 years, woman will ask where is she standing. Or, where this relation goes? In kind of despair, woman will get an idea to propose his man, because he did not do this. I would say, don’t do this , ladies.
Here are 5 reasons why you should not propose your man.
He will feel as half a man.
You do his tasks? You took things in your hands? Well, be sure he will not be fascinated if you buy ring and ask him : “Yes or no?”
You will lost part of your dignity.
Every woman should know when to step back. This is in that case. Instead of force your man, back off.
He might say yes, but later this will be main reason for your conflict.
“This was your idea, not mine, remember?”
His friends, mother and his ex girlfriend could laugh to you.
This kind of things always swims out. Who proposed whom? If that was you, it will be subject of jokes.
You will lose this magic moment to make him in uncertainty.
So you will not see him what he really could do if he is afraid of losing you.
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Women have vision about guy with ring who will crawl to propose them. It will not be always like this. Cool proposal, without much noise, is good way for every man who doesn’t want to sound as cuckold. Ask her is she ready to spend life with you, kiss her and wait for reply.
I understand women who were many years alone or in frustrated relations, until their friends got married. Always maid of honor, never bride. Well, you can make influence on this, but you need to know the way.
If you decided to make him rush with proposal, do it on next way.
 
 
Make it as joke.
Tell him, you look gorgeous in white dress and his mother adores you anyway. If he is silent, don’t force this conversation. He will understand the point.
Don’t go directly. Make it as indirect way to proposal.
Tell him that you got many compliments from colleague, but that you said him about your serious relation, which leads to commitment.
Make a sentence : “once when i will be married for a guy”, and wait his reaction.
Men are not blind. They understand hints and symbolic way. They pretend that they are dumb, but be sure your man knows what he should do. If he doesn’t do this, he has a reason, because he is not sure.
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What is the worst thing you can do?
This is proposal on internet. You can make yourself ashamed, because this is something what others see. It will not be erased so easy. Especially, if your man is someone you did not meet for real.
Leslie did this with Douglas. They met online, on chat. They had virtual relation for a few months, and she felt this is it. Leslie was single so many years, she had some failed relations before, and she was lady in certain ages, over 30. So, what can happen worse? She proposed him on his page. She thought, it will be cool and she will make an impression as independent woman. Ooops. Douglas said short yes, but after this, he did not talked with her. He became silent as someone who got punishment. He was little boy in the corner, terrified from his older teacher. Of course, he was younger than Leslie.
Remember, what is so cool for us women, is not the same for men. You might think you look as Cat woman, Lara Croft  or some other  action heroine who took things in her hands. In his eyes, you look as kidnapper. Someone who stole his power to decide. You deserve to go away from him.

Romantic mediator

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It is not easy to be in the middle of two people, especially if they are couple. If you got this duty to hold side for someone, this position is ungrateful. Did you have experience with your desperate friend who asked you to help her with her relation, because she can’t bear this pain anymore? In this moment you enter into race and take a risk to jump out every moment. Messengers could be killed, isn’t it?

Daryl is crazy in love and her best friend Alice is shoulder for crying. This stunning relation lasts about one year. Her beloved man Richard is main topic of every conversation between two girls. Even Alice has good nerves, her patience is at the end. Every time Daryl talks only about him. “Richard hurt me again. I can’t live like this anymore. ” Then Alice replies : “Leave him, he is not worthy of you. ” This conversation is spinning into circles, because Daryl wish some advises, and when she gets it, she doesn’t listen and story is always the same. One day Daryl asked her to talk with Richard, to forward him her messages. It was a day when Richard went into business journey in another city and by some coincidence, Alice was there on vacation. They talked in coffee bar and Richard was fascinated with Alice. He was not interested about Daryl and her feelings, but Alice captured his attention. Later, Daryl blamed Alice that she tried to seduce her boyfriend. Alice was not guilty, she just wanted to help and she got egg in the face.

If you accept role of messenger, everything is possible. Imagine that you are Cupid and you need to make harmony in some devastated relations. You will be in the middle of battlefield and random shots could hurt you.

What are possibilities?

This man can blame you that you poke nose in something what is not your business.

Woman may be suspicious about your real intentions, when you try to help her to make peace with her boyfriend. She could be jealous if he is too kind with you.

You could be hurt by both, because it makes things even worse .

Here is also one important question, what kind of relation is this, where third side need to be a referee? When someone loves you, you don’t need to push him, to beg him or to warn him what is right and what is wrong. This person could feel pressure. How to love someone by force, even worse, when force is coming from third side?  Men are sometimes allergic on female friends, because they take role of teacher or judge, and they interfere in other relations as assistants. If your best friend is married, her husband may dislike you, because you always know the best for both. You know that he should not flirt with other women, that he should not get drunk or to be indecent toward his mother in law. That is the thing which men hate the most, when women told them what to do, and when that women are so close friends with their wives. 

So when your best friend is desperate, when she is crying, help her, but watch your back. Be spontaneous, make some jokes from this situation and don’t cross the line. You can tell to her husband or boyfriend on nice way, without nagging, to take care for this precious woman.

Gilda was mediator when her friend Sally was hurt by her boyfriend : 

She said : ” You have choice to continue this and make her cry, or to walk out with smile. Nobody force you to stay in this relation, but if you stay, spare me from your troubles. I have no more time and nerves to listen her requiem every day.

Drunk in love

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Any choice you make, do it sober. When you pick partner during one drunk night, dawn will be painful. Imagine lights in night club, or walking in the beach under influence of alcohol, he whispers you sweet words into your ears, and you are hypnotized by liquor from your glass. If he is handsome, he will be magic man. If he is ugly, he will be handsome. Your mind will give wrong judgment , just because you are drunk.
Alan met Celia in the club, when he was sad and drunk. They were kissing, but other day he noticed her small mustaches . He was shocked, i mean woman with hairy mouth? He made excuse not to see her again. This kind of examples are mirror of wrong perception and twisted mind.
Helen had other kind of story. She was in the car with Gary and she was drinking whisky and cola, to relax before sex. When she was already half naked, she felt pressure at bladder. “Oh i need to pee. ” She was running half naked between cars to find her place for toilet. And it happened 5 times so Gary gave up. Later he talked that he never saw such drunk girl as Helen was.
What will go wrong, when you wish to have sex drunk?
Your resistance is smaller. 
If that was not idea while you were sober, now it will be perfect solution.
You re more open minded. 
Maybe you are shy girl, but now you are ready to move limits.
Your control doesn’t work out.
So, you don’t worry about protection and possible pregnancy. Let God helps you, that is your thinking.
You are more sensitive , even obsessive.
What you said to him while you were drunk? Maybe you gave kinky confession. Maybe you said “i love you” and you wanted to wait with this.
Your memory is erased.
 
Wake up next morning in the bed with total stranger or with someone you did not like. Awful feeling.
 
Some girls make basic mistakes to drink in intention to impress guys. Oh, i will be more cool, brave or more sexy. That is wrong. He doesn’t expect fatal seductress as in movies, he wants natural girl. With alcohol, you are more spontaneous, but also aggressive, clumsy and with distorted balance.
What kind of impression you wish to give? 
Do you want to wake up with eye bags, bad breath and nuisance ? Then, few weeks later, you wish to look at your calendar and try to remember date when this happens because your period skipped regular days?
One more thing, drunk girl is the most easier target. When guy saw drunk girl who is dancing, his eyes will see opportunity. He doesn’t need much efforts to win trophy. The problem is, girl will not cooperate much because she doesn’t know what is happening.
If you make love drunk, this is blur movie. Just much clothes around and spinning room. All what you will remember is big headache after.

Relation with robot

 

 

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Painful experiences are our teachers, but also executioners. After someone broke your heart, you cry in silence of your room and then your mother or friends will tell you “I warned you.” You will say that nobody has label on forehead  with title “Bad guy”, but if you know to read between lines, some signs will tell you what kind of person is boy you fall in love.  Even you believe that nobody can’t be cruel if you show love to him,  progress of technology makes people different, and your beloved guy is maybe emotional robot.

The main problem of every teenage girl is how to make difference between guys who want to take an advantage and guys who take care for you. Even it looks so fine on first sight, suddenly moron broke you in pieces, and you did not recognize him.

Here is small guide for beginners, how to recognize emotional robots.

He will know his rights, but never his obligations. So, he will ask sex from you, but if you want to introduce him to parents, he will suddenly find million reasons not to do it.

He will not call you every day. He wants you sometimes, not always. 

When he wants you, and you reject him because you have no time, he will be furious. Then you will be guilty for everything, because you don’t run on his call.

He has a lot of female friends, with everyone of them he will exchange kisses, hugs, compliments, and if you show jealousy, you are idiot.

He will talk about your private details to his friends. Beware of this, because now days he can use your internet photos or videos against you.

Search his internet profile. If he has many naked or half naked girls, he is a hunter . You are not his exception, you are his number. 

If you are sensitive person, if you think with heart and not with mind, you are in big trouble. Rational girls always have better results. If you are person who doesn’t fall so easy, you will be desirable target but you will know how to deal with this because your priorities are different. You have friends, hobbies, work, and if your guy doesn’t fit, you will simply erase him from your life. 

We can compare love stories now days and from the past. As technology is progressing, as we are surrounded by cell phones, tablets, laptops and all that miracles , with cable or wireless, we are getting colder and colder. Look at some couples when you visit coffee bars. He will write sms, and she will change statuses on her social network. After half hours they will remember that they came together to drink coffee. 

In past, women had dance list of partners, men were singing under windows and they got many love letters. France poet Cyrano de Bergerac wrote love letters for fiance of his friend, because that friend wanted to impress her. If you ask modern guy to write you some sweet words, he will ask google or laugh, because that is so turn off. 

Modern technology has influence on feelings, so people will act like robots. It is so easy to fall in love in internet and to delete person after you flirt with her. You can block her and you will spare yourself of tears. 

New bad guys are not those who will hit you immediately or insult you on first sight. Their methods are more complicated and sophisticated. They are emotional robots. That guy will send you virtual flowers and then you will see that he did the same to many women. You will get forwarded message about his flirting or some nasty woman will send you his message about you. Remember, that guys grew up in a way that they played video games . They are interested to reach higher level, and you could be their victim.

How to fit emotions in new age?

Be careful who is your virtual friend, don’t get close before you check him.

Remember, this is just computer and if you don’t meet him alive, you are safe from bad lessons.

Be silent if you know what kind of guy is he. Show poker face, he will not know what is behind your mask.

Modern guys don’t sing in front of your window, they don’t write love letters and they search google to learn how to declare love.

Your mother probably used to say before : “Beware of guys who paid your drink, beware of those who wants to slap your butt. ” Now days mothers will say : “Take care of guys in internet space, if they send you request and you never hear for them. “

Cohabitation

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Cohabitation is kind of relation where two people in love live together unmarried. Accord Article 3 of Croatian Family law, cohabitation must be in period of 3 years or  less  in the case of birth of a child  and that couple lives in the same address (mutual flat or house).
Such community is just previous form of marriage or temporary solution, or deal for a lifetime.

Some famous couple lived in cohabitation, for example Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, still are together Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel, recently split Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis and the most popular cohabitation is between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Reasons why people decide to live together, but without formal title wife-husband, are various.

Some are not ready for marriage and this is easier way on first sight. 

Some wants to have rehearsal before marriage, to find out more about their future husband or wife.

Some wants to avoid traditional rules, in countries where environment will not approve their choices of partners.

Croatian famous musician couple Josipa Lisac and Karlo Metikoš lived 20 years together in cohabitation, until he died. Every Valentine day singer Josipa Lisac has concert in his name.

As numbers of divorces increase, also increase numbers of cohabitations.
Talking about legal background, accord Croatian Civil Law, cohabitation partner will inherit after death, the same as husband or wife in formal marriage. Children born in cohabitation also have equal rights. Cohabitation partners cannot adopt child. Lesbians and gays have rights to live in life partnership, not in marriage, so cohabitation is ideal form for them.
Traditional people will look at cohabitation with doubts. It was interesting when someone told that ex croatian minister Tonino Picula is single, but he was in cohabitation for a years. This example shows how people in some cases don’t get cohabitation as something serious. Especially it could be obstacle for career if you are businessman or politician, because family is connected with formal marriage.
Interesting parties who wants to get close with someone who is already in cohabitation, will use lack of form as an excuse.
“But, she is not married. ” “He is not married.”
Some others will not admit cohabitation, for example name “wild marriage” is title for cohabitation in Croatia. Our grannies talked about indecent women who lived unmarried with their men, and it was disgrace for their families, especially if they had kids. This kids were marked as “bastards” and they were mocked by their peers.

When people love each other, is it really matter are they married or in cohabitation? Because, if marriage is so safe, why is there so much divorces? If your partner wants to leave you, marriage bond can make things harder, but for sure is not guaranteed. Many marriages, even with children, broke.

I think that every couple bring individual decision about marriage or cohabitation. The most important is, they agreed mutual  about this, and that cohabitation is also based on respect and understanding as formal marriage. “Paper doesn’t mean nothing to us” – that is general sentence and explanation from such couples. With or without paper, respect must confirm every kind of community, otherwise this have no sense. If you were in cohabitation for a years, and suddenly you broke and decide to get marry with another partner, that is proof that cohabitation was only temporary solution.

After sex read between lines

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When  he will call me again? This is the question in head of every woman, after she made love for a first time with her boyfriend.
After you share your passionable moments with a guy, things are changed. You can lose your advantage and suddenly feel weak. How you can know is this guy worthy to give yourself to him?

What are signs, that he will call you again to ask you for a date?

He talked about future after you made love. 
( Next week in cinema is great movie. We could go to check it.)
He is watching you until you brush your hair. 
( Really you are beautiful.)
He is sharing his private secrets with you. 
( See, my mother and father are divorced and from time and time i am depressed because of it.)
He is not rushing, he forgot about time and he skipped to do important obligations because you captured his mind.

When you make love with a guy, it is like you open new door. You love him, and now you are more fragile, here is fear what will happen. What if he never call you again? If you see him with another girl later, after he got all what he wanted from you?

You can read between lines if something like that will happen.

He will not spend morning with you. 

He will disappear from your bed until you are sleeping, and if you are awake, he will grab things and rush on his bus, train, taxi or to jump into his car like he was in robbery and someone is chasing him.

He will talk very quiet on his cell phone. For explanation, he will tell you that his little sister has problems with health or other dumb excuses.

He did not asked your number, but you told him. Or he gave you his number, as sign that you must call him first. Forget this. Never call guy first, especially after sex.

He is not talking about future. Sex is now with you, now, he is talking in present time. About later, if you ask, he lives day by day.

Many women will ask, how to spare herself from jerks, how to stop situation which will break your heart?
There is no guarancy. He can act nice, but indeed if you think twice, it is his gentle way to tell you goodbye. You are wonderful but he has no time, he must go, because this is life. He is going on important football match. Another time, maybe. The day will never come. You will never drink coffee with him.

Take a deep breath and be ready for everything after sex with guy. If you knew him long time before you did this, chances are bigger to keep him. If you jump into wild sex short time after you met him, this is risk.
Maybe this will not work out, but don’t be surprised. More luck next time, and one lesson of life experience in your book of knowledge.

Hunter and his trap

 

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Forbidden fruit is sweeter. Grass is more green around your neighbor’s house. That is logic of some human minds. They see things what other’s have and they want to involve in this.

Such women are imitators and insecure in own choice. This is more safe, to try something what is already proved as good. Accord this logic, some women will pick only married men or men who are already taken and popular.

George is handsome man, he is working in bank, his salary is big because he is leader of one department. He is well mannered and girls love to hang out with him , at teambuilding. Problem is, George was never in relation. Girls will say, George is wonderful, but somehow boring. There is no sparks, adrenaline, excitement with him. Girls would like to go in shopping with him, but not on date. He is not hot.

His friend Lewis is what women say hot guy. He is heartbreaker and never alone. One woman left him, he is already with another. He was married twice, and divorced. Lewis has magnet and women adore him. If you ask women, why they pick Lewis, and not George for date, they will say that Lewis is confirmed as interesting choice. George needs good promotion and marketing, this is something what is missing in his behavior.

Women like to compete with each other. It is not rarity that two best friends will compete, they will even steal guy from each other. Married woman and his best friend, this is not always safe area when husband is here. It is like in movie “All about Eve.” Two women, one is role model for other, but indeed that friend who show admiration to you is your rival. She wants to take what is yours.

What is an advice for George? 

He needs so called hunter stories. 

He should lie about his reputation.

Women heard about him as good son of his mother, this is not cool and hot. Women tremble when they hear about Lewis, because he is so good in bed, he is passionable and this is hot area. When George is here, women will see scene with family and boring dinner. Lewis will take them in Wonderland. They can travell with him, he will suggest even roller coaster and they will feel young and desirable. George will take his woman at home, and his mother will judge them. This is what women want to avoid.

George needs woman who will break ice. Once when other women hear that he had sex with someone, they will be curious too. Nobody wants to be his teacher.

Lewis is hunter and his trap is always full of trophies. Women will suffer and cry with him, but he will never be alone. He is enough smart to recognise when he needs to stop and settle down. Some women will reject him too, but he has joker in his pocket. As long women like to compete in this game, Lewis will be popular.

Balad about virtual couples

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The biggest paradox of modern time is sharing our feelings with mechanic tools without emotions and expectation of love for return. Computer is our messenger, internet is our voice. Many people will fall in love through virtual space, where love makes various choices.
When you date with person who is available to you in reality, rules are different than in social networks. As real couple, you will pass through usual problems, but conversation eye to eye will make things easier. This possibility is limited in virtual space, because you can’t touch person, sometimes even not hear or see , and your partner is a ghost.
As much how internet make strangers from people, in other hand it connect us with strangers. So in this situation, we are now strangers for our friends and family, and we connect with unknown people as friends, even lovers. This is double cross, because once when you give trust and confidence to person in virtual space, she will expect something from you.
Unhappy lovers on internet often ask, why virtual relations fails. Especially, if love birds are from another countries, and why they must come through pain.
Why is virtual relation hard for partners?
If you live in other cities, even countries, money will be big obstacle.
You need to prepare full wallet for all expenses , with purpose of travelling and visiting your love.
 
You never know are you the only one.
Virtual network offers many possibilities, and if your John or Jack gives you heart, don’t be so sure that you are the only soulmate for him.
Jealousy makes new meaning.
You will think about likes or comments from other women. Is she only his friend or more?
You can’t check facts. You don’t know is that real name, ages,  nationality or real profession of your partner.
Recently, i read about story, young woman trade messages with man who had 63 years and grandchildren. She did not know this for 12 years.
 
You can’t expect from person to close all options, because you are far away.
If you think that guy who send you sweet messages will sit at home for weekend, you are wrong. He is maybe in hunting zone, in his real life.
Promises and realizations.
If you did not meet for real, you are not obligated to be faithful.
Some unhappy lovers will go so far, until revenge. Imagine that your virtual relations failed, you are tired from messages, web camera and what’s up, you wish to dance and kiss with man who is near you, and your lover is not available. Suddenly, your virtual lover can’t accept this and he decide to give you lesson.
What to expect from discarded virtual lover?
If you wrote kinky messages to him, he can share with his friends.
 
He can share photos and videos around. 
 
He can block you because his heart is broken. 
 
He can gossip you to make your reputation bad. 
 
He can disturb to your friends and family, asking for justice.
 
 
Virtual lovers often forgot real basic. They lost in their dreams and fantasies, but real plans are the first thing which they should make. You should know with whom you are dealing. Foreigner , from another country is person with another habits, culture and tradition. Your values and his values could be very opposite.
Romina, as young Romanian girl met guy from Turkey, for chat. They talked 9 months and then she decided to visit him. It was successful meeting, they liked each other and she stayed there and marry for him. It was nice marriage, but she continued to chat with other men on internet. She is still married, but her marriage rocks, because she can’t stop flirting around. She claims that her husband is too conservative man and she did not know this until she met him for real.
Sometimes, friend option will be the best. If someone falls in love in you in internet, and he knows your status, he knows that he is not for you, it is not bad solution to stay friends. Friendship shows respect and loyality. This person appreciates you even you can’t be in love with him. It is cool to make friends from another countries and spread your views.
The funniest thing on virtual space is statement from unknown people, when you don’t want to talk with them or to accept them as friends. “You hurt me, why you don’t add me?” How someone could feel pain from person he never met? Pains enter from expectations, not from people. If you think that some strangers from internet space will be free for you every moment, you live in world of fairy tale.
Why virtual stories are ballads? There are lot of lies, many versions and masks. That is why virtual couples must talk face to face as fast that is possible. You can’t live in internet, to buy virtual flat and make virtual children, to marry and expect every night when your lover will be online.
Virtual story is great refreshment, as cocktail. After ice is melted, that is just warm water , with not so good taste.